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♦ TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2006 4A Muuatou ©uil\3 .IJmmtttl OPINION Daniel F. Evans Editor and Publisher Julie B. Evans Vice President Don Moncrief Foy S. Evans Managing Editor Editor Emeritus Is it time for the draft? Democratic Representative Charlie Rangel will be chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee when Congress convenes next January. He has revealed that the first bill he intends to introduce will call for reinstating the universal military draft. Rangel, a Vietnam War veteran, has con tended for a long time that elected officials would not rush into wars if their own sons or daughters were likely to wind up in the line of fire on the battlefield. He probably has a good point there. In our opinion, one of the biggest mistakes this country has made was eliminating the military draft after the Vietnam War. While the all volunteer mil itary has been efficient and effective, it also has been alarmingly expensive and has, in a way, isolated many Americans from a feeling that they are part of any armed conflict. We would like to see universal service, with the following caveats: • The purpose of the draft would be, primarily, for military service, for a period of two years. • There would be no exceptions to serv ing. Anyone - male or female - who was a conscientious objector still would have to serve in some form of government pro gram which would provide them with the same strict discipline as military service. Something like the Peace Corps would not be acceptable. We believe that this country would be a better place to live if a universal draft had been in effect during the past three decades. Millions of young men and women are growing up today without any real disci pline or purpose. Millions are drifting into deplorable lifestyles. We have seen boys enter the military and we have seen them come out as men, real men. Young women, too, would benefit from compulsory service of some kind with the same standards of discipline as the mili tary. We hope that members of Congress will take Rep. Rangel’s proposal seriously. It could put our country back on the right track by providing millions of rudderless young men and women with a new outlook on life. And it would, as Rep. Rangel says, make our leaders more cautious when it comes to getting involved in war if their sons and daughters’ lives were on the line. Worth Repeating “When you’re spending 24 billion dollars in pork barrel transportation projects how can you go to the American people and talk about tax increases.” John McCain 111 U. S. Senator (Republican, AZ) HOW TO SUBMIT LETTERS We encourage readers to submit letters to the editor. Letters should not exceed 350 words and must include the writer’s name, address and telephone number. All letters printed in The Daily Journal will appear with the writer’s name and hometown - we do not publish anonymous letters. The news paper reserves the right to edit or reject letters for reasons of grammar, punctuation, taste and brevity. Letter writers are asked to submit no more than one letter per person per week. We cannot guarantee that a letter will be printed on a specific date. The Daily Journal prefers that letters be typed. Letters to the editor are published in the order they are received as space permits. There are three ways to submit a letter to the editor: E-mail it to hhj@evansnewspapers.com, mail it to The Houston Daily Journal at P.O. Box 1910, Perry, GA 31069, or drop it off at 1210 Washington St. in Perry - between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. While the all-vohinteer military has been efficient and effective, it also has been alarmingly expensive and has, in a way, isolated many Americans from a feeling that they are part of any armed conflict. Times change for better, worse The world has changed. No get ting around that. It is different than it was when my generation was growing up, and it is different than a few generations that have followed me. In a lot of ways ... some obvious, some subtle. Nobody was in any particular hurry back then. They had their work to do and somehow it was done and there was time for visits with neighbors and neighborhood get-togethers and family fun. Who has time for all that today? I remember the long, hot summer days when the kids in the neighbor hood turned an open field into a base ball diamond and played from early morning until dark, barely taking time out to eat lunch. (What has happened to real neighborhoods?) We children always seemed to have enough to do without the benefit of blaring radios or television or expen sive planned recreation programs. We even did something that seems to have gone out of style ... we read a lot and enjoyed doing it. ■ ■■ You hardly ever hear anyone saying the little slogans everyone seemed to live by anymore. You would be laughed right out of town if you said something like “Cleanliness is next to Godliness” now adays. Everybody knows in our enlightened time that anybody who is “with it” abhors bathing and haircuts and shav ing. And we were reminded often that “pretty is as pretty does.” How long since you heard such an absurd thing? Things are beautiful now, baby, but it has nothing at all to do with your con duct ... as a matter of fact, somebody eventually may come up with a more appropriate saying such as “pretty is as pretty doesn’t.” As outdated as the horse and buggy is, another saying that we heard often and lived by, whether we liked it or not ...’’Children should be seen and not heard.” Now everything is “for the ■ ■■ "Lord, watch over our loved ones this Thanksgiving... Concepts that could revolutionize your marriage The concept of unconditional love is easy to understand if not so easy to practice in our relation ships. To some degree, it’s something we all long for - to be loved by another person even when our shortcomings are exposed. We simply long to be loved fully even when we’re fully known, or when we don’t deserve it. Respect is another matter altogether. I suspect most view respect as some thing that is earned, not simply given. But Dr. Emerson Eggerichs - backed up by psychological studies - asserts that unconditional respect is just as important to a man as unconditional love is to a woman. He also says that our failure to understand these deep but different needs of men and women is what often leads to disharmony even in marriages where both spouses truly care and are willing to work on their relationship. Intuition and our own personal expe riences, of course, make it quite obvious to us that both men and women desire both love and respect and not either one exclusively. But Eggerichs says that, generally speaking, love matters more to women and respect matters more to men. On the issue of men and respect, Dr. Eggerichs, who holds a PhD in child and family ecology from Michigan State University, sites a national study that surveyed four hundred men, giving them a choice between going through two different negative expe riences. The men were asked which would they be most willing to endure if they were forced between choose one of the following: a) to be left alone and unloved in the world, or b) to feel inad equate and disrespected by everyone. Seventy-four percent of these men said they’d prefer (a) - being left alone and unloved. Eggerichs argues that it’s often our OPINION Foy Evans Columnist (oyevansl9@cox net children” and, too often, children can be heard over everything else. Everybody who knows anything now is completely aware that it warps a child's personality to tell him or her to be quiet ... If you are any kind of parent at all now you must encourage children to express themselves, speak up and do “their thing” and you should not interfere with this free expression of their personalities and, too often, let them rule the roost, lest you ruin their lives forever. ■ ■■ We grew up eating such food as peas and cornbread and sweet taters and pork chops because they were all that was available and because it “stuck to your ribs.” (No fast food restaurants then.) Now we learn that this “soul food” is bad for our cholesterol and, goodness knows, whatever else. We of my generation still prefer such plain food to anything else because it is what we became used to as a child, and to be completely honest it tastes bet ter. (I have difficulty enjoying gourmet food prepared by a chef.) We went to tiny school houses with wood floors soaked in oil and often two or three grades in one classroom. We learned all about the three R’s ... and we were taught penmanship because it was a matter of pride to know how to write well ... We were drilled on the basics of the English language. It was good reason to be punished if you murdered the English language in your school work or in the way you talked. We know better than to follow such outdated and old fashioned ways today, Randy Hicks Columnist Georgia Family Council failure to understand a woman’s deep need for love and a man’s deep need for respect that leads to what he calls “The Crazy Cycle.” The Crazy Cycle works like this: In his book, Love & Respect, Dr. Eggerichs highlights six areas of key importance to each spouse. First, for husbands, show you love her by meet ing these needs: ■ Closeness - She wants to be close. “Your wife will feel loved when you move toward her and let her know you want to be close with a look, a touch, or a smile.” She’ll feel loved when you enter into her world, initiate meaning ful conversations and make time with her a priority. ■ Openness - She wants you to open up to her, to talk about your day, your thoughts and your future together. Understanding - She wants you to listen and reflect back what she’s feel ing; she doesn’t want you to fix her. She also wants to know she’s appreci ated for her efforts on behalf of your marriage and family. ■ Peacemaking - When you’re wrong, she wants you to admit it and say, “I’m sorry.” ■ Loyalty - Nothing creates greater insecurity and distrust than a per ceived (or real) lack of commitment. She needs to know that you’re protect ing your marriage and putting her and the family first. ■ Esteem - She wants you to honor and cherish her. Demonstrate your S' a HOUSTON DAILY JOURNAL because there have been many decades of progress since then and everyone knows that the way we were taught failed to prepare us to make out in the world. I’ll tell you a story about a pre-plan ning session attended by teachers in one of Atlanta’s suburbs, as repeated by one of the teachers who was there. According to this teacher, they were told that if a child spoke up and said something like, “I ain’t got nothing to write with but I don’t want no blue pencil,” don’t correct the child’s gram mar ... remember that the child is com municating, baby, and communicating is the main thing. Fortunately, Houston County’s schools are not that progressive. ■ ■■ I speak of the “good old days” with nostalgia but I do not wish that I could live them again. I know that I have it better today than ever before and anyone who says he would prefer to go back to the days before we had air conditioning and central heat ... paved roads and good automobiles ... and airplanes ... and electric refrigerators and food freezers ... and many other conveniences we have today ...has to be kidding. But I do miss the good old slogans most of us were brought up by... and I miss the simple determination to make the most of what we had at our disposal ... appreciation for the little that we had. It causes sadness to see so many people today with so much and still unhappy. Our forefathers were so grateful to survive a year in this new country that they declared a Day of Thanksgiving ... Our blessings are so many today that we should make every day a day of thanksgiving ... not just one Thursday in November. Never in the history of mankind have so many people had it so good and been so dissatisfied at the same time. They are the unhappy ones. The happy people are those who realize how well off they are ... and are grateful! admiration, look for opportunities to praise her, and never embarrass her in front of the kids or anyone else. Dr. Eggerichs suggests that women need to demonstrate respect for their husbands by being sensitive to the fol lowing six areas of need: ■ Conquest - Like you, he wants to know that he’s appreciated for his desire to work and achieve. Express gratitude for his efforts and sacrifice. This is especially important when work may not be going well. ■ Hierarchy - He wants to feel that you appreciate his desire to provide for and protect you and the family, to the point of giving his life. And he wants to feel he is worthy of being “looked up to.” ■ Authority - Your husband wants to know that you appreciate his desire to serve and to lead. Tell him you are thankful for his strength and are glad to be able to lean on him. Praise his good decisions and be gracious if he makes a bad one. ■ Insight - Tell your husband you appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel when he sees a problem. Most likely, his tendency is to “fix” things. Don’t criticize that, just let him know up front you simply need a listening ear. But, recognize his problem-solving tendency as the male brand of empa thy. ■ Relationship - Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friend ship; tell him you like him and show it; realize he sometimes just wants you to be with him, not conversing, just watching him work, joining him in a project, or sitting together sharing an experience. ■ Sexuality - Your husband wants to know you appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy. You can show this by responding to him sexually more often, and initiating sex periodically.