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HOUSTON DAILY JOURNAL
Trend toward early
puberty may be changing
Question: Are there limits
to the trend toward younger
and younger sexual develop
ment? If not, the kids of the
future may enter puberty
in the middle of childhood.
That could create enormous
problems if sexual awareness
precedes emotional maturity
by a decade or more.
Dobson: It could hap
pen, but that isn’t likely.
Actually, studies now indi
cate that a leveling-off and
perhaps a reversal of this
trend are occurring. In 1988,
the average age of the men
arche reached a low point
of 12.5. By 1993, however, a
study found that the curve
had begun to swing back in
the other direction. Puberty
appears to be arriving slight
ly later.
Why? Well, just as bet
ter nutrition and health care
caused the average age to
drop in the recent past, the
present emphasis on ultra
thin bodies and intense exer
cise is apparently delaying
development somewhat.
Many physicians are
concerned about today’s
obsession with what used
to be called “skinniness.”
Extremes, they say, are
rarely beneficial to human
beings - whether they are
manifested in grossly over
weight bodies or those that
are bone-thin.
A famous biochemist at
the University of Southern
California, Dr. Sam Bessman,
once told me: “Remember
that the body never stops
eating. If you don’t feed it
properly, it will begin to con
sume itself.” That is pre
cisely what happens in the
girl who consumes too few
calories; she may have no
periods for years at a time.
Question: I’m in my early
20s and trying to figure out
a career path and general
direction for my life. Do you
If you can clear your record, you can vote
Dear Mr. Rockefeller, I
pled to a felony theft 10
years ago, what do I need to
do to get my record cleared
so I can vote again?
Dear Reader, The technical
term that you are describ
ing is “expungement.” In
Georgia, you make applica
tion for one to the Sheriffs
Department in the County
of arrest and you fill out
a form requesting expunge
ment. If you are successful
in doing so, your criminal
history is cleared and all of
your arrest papers/pictures/
prints are destroyed, wiping
out any record of your arrest
- certain governments and
law enforcement will, how
ever, always see the record
of arrest.
Expungement rights,
depend on when and how
the case was disposed. Where
the arrest was either not
referred for prosecution or
was dismissed without for
mal charges being made
(this means no indictment or
accusation), there is an abso
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have any suggestions?
Dobson: First, you need
informa
tion. You
might
begin by
going to
an occupa
tional psy
chologist
or anoth
er knowl
edgeable
counselor
who can
assess
Dr. James
Dobson
Focus on the Family
your skills and interests.
There are excellent psy
chometric tests available
today that will acquaint
you with your own abilities.
Computers will analyze your
responses and correlate them
with those of people who are
successful and contented in
given professions. You might
be surprised at what you can
learn about yourself from an
occupational inventory.
Second, you should begin
an energetic exploration of
eight or nine occupations
that you might find exciting.
Visit people who are work
ing in those fields and ask
them for advice and coun
sel. Attack this problem like
a private investigator who
is determined to unravel
a mystery. Leave no stone
unturned.
Third, when you’ve iden
tified the area of great
est interest, commit to it.
Beyond that point there’s no
looking back. Even if there
might be a more attractive
goal out these somewhere,
there comes a point where
you have to get on with life.
Take your best shot and stay
with it until you have a more
secure and certain alterna
tive to chase. Millions of oth
ers have been where you are
now. They eventually got the
rockets to fire. I believe you
will too.
lute right to the expunge
ment.
If, however, there were
formal charges drawn and
then they were dismissed,
the prosecuting attorney can
object to the expungement
on a number of grounds tied
to the rea
son for the
dismiss
al. For
instance,
if the
charges
were dis
missed
pursu
ant to
pre-trial
diversion,
I
A < Jk,
Jim Rockefeller
Columnist
the right to expungement
may be dependent on wheth
er or not expungement was
a condition of the pre-trial
agreement.
Interestingly, Georgia’s
expungement statute does
not preclude having a
“first offender” conviction
expunged. First offender is
a special sentencing provi-
Z-~ VALENTINE TAZLEWAKE 1
Question: You have said
that every healthy married
couple should learn how to
fight. What do you mean by
that?
Dobson: What I have
said is that people need
to learn how to fight fair,
because there is a big differ
ence between healthy and
unhealthy combat in mar
riage. In an unstable mar
riage, hostility is aimed at
the partner’s soft underbelly
with comments like: “You
never do anything right!”
and “Why did I marry you in
the first place?” and “You’re
getting more like your moth
er every day!” These offen
sive remarks strike at the
very heart of the mate’s self
worth.
Healthy conflict, by con
trast, is focused on the issues
that cause disagreement.
For example: “It upsets
me when you don’t tell me
you’re going to be late for
dinner.” Or: “I was embar
rassed when you made me
look foolish at the party last
night.”
Can you hear the differ
ence in these two sets of
examples? The first approach
assaults the dignity of the
partner while the second
is addressed to the source
of conflict. When couples
learn this important distinc
tion, they can work through
their disagreements without
wounding and insulting each
other.
Dr. Dobson is founder and
chairman of the board of
the nonprofit organization
Focus on the Family, P.O.
Box 444, Colorado Springs,
CO. 80903; or www.family,
org. Questions and answers
are excerpted from “The
Complete Marriage and
Family Home Reference
Guide” and “Bringing Up
Boys,” both published by
Tyndale House.
sion, where a person has no
prior felony or drug convic
tions, and is typically used
for someone’s first felony
conviction (although, it can
also be used for most misde
meanor offenses). There are
actually two different first
offender statutes, the “regu
lar” one that can be used for
any qualifying felony offense
and one for drug offenses.
So, in theory, you can use
first offender twice.
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How can you sustain success?
Last week’s article
offered some thoughts
for achieving short
term success. But how do
some people stay energized,
consistently contributing
their talents over long peri
ods?
Marcus Buckingham is
the author of The One Thing
You Need to Know about
Great Managing, Great
Leading, and Sustained
Individual Success. In the
book, Buckingham defines
sustained success as “mak
ing the greatest possible
impact over the greatest
period of time.”
Let’s start with having
great impact in a single day.
Think about your best day
at work in the past three
months?
Why did you love that
day? Can you repeat it? Use
this article to figure out
how!
Too few people love what
they do every day. Marcus
Buckingham’s research
indicates that fewer than
two out of ten people are
employed in a position
where their work continu
ously inspires them. Isn’t
that sad? Would you like
to become one of those 20-
percenters?
How can you do what you
love to do every day, so that
you can have the greatest
possible impact over the
greatest period of time?
Here’s Buckingham’s
answer: “Discover what
you don’t like doing, and
stop doing it.”
Is that it? Surely there’s
more than that! What
about hard work and
ongoing education?
What about continu
ous improvement? What
about shoring up your
weaknesses?
Those factors will cer
tainly contribute to
your short-term success.
But time is the limited
resource that long-term
successful people protect
more than any other.
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The two out of ten people
who do what they love to do
every day are very discrimi
nating about how they use
their time, cutting out all
activities they don’t enjoy!
How can you do that?
Doesn’t
every
one have
aspects
of their
work
they
don’t
enjoy?
By far,
the
major
ity do.
Dennis Hooper
Leaders Building
Leaders
Buckingham’s research
says that eight out to 10 of
us deal with activities that
don’t inspire.
So, are you ready to
decide that you don’t want
to remain a part of this
strong majority?
What can you do if you
are bored, frustrated, unful
filled, or drained by your
work?
First, generate an “inven
tory” of your daily activi
ties.
Separate what you do into
those actions that energize
you and those that cause
you to complain to your
closest friends.
Knowing these, you now
have options!
Start by tweaking your
role.
Perhaps it is possible to
increase the percentage of
your day that you spend on
the aspects of your work
that you love.
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It’s likely that the por
tions of your work that
you love utilize one of your
strengths which makes
you stronger. If you can’t
increase the amount of time
that you spend in those
activities, at least focus
more of your mental energy
on those responsibilities.
Imagine ways that you
could perform those activi
ties even better and when
you actually do, someone
will notice!
Another possibility is to
align yourself with an ally
or partner of some sort. For
every aspect of your job you
hate, someone in this world
loves doing that work. You
could generate a powerful
win/win solution for both
ofyou.
If these options don’t
work, you may consider
changing your role. Start
looking for opportunities
that will utilize more of
your innate talents. If it
can be with your current
employer, great! If not, well
Cutting out the aspects
of your life that you don’t
enjoy CAN BE done!
If you want more specific
options than the general
guidelines here, call for a
free exploratory conversa
tion.
Dennis Hooper is a lead
ership development coach,
helping leaders inspire their
employees and strengthen
their organizations E-mail
him at dhooper2(ajuno.com
or phone him at 478-988-
0237.
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