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HOUSTON HOME JOURNAL
Things I should have learned but still haven’t
One day I ran into
my precious second
grade teacher, Mrs.
Rudeseal, in what used to
be called the dime store but
in these
times of
economic
advance
ment is
now called
the dollar
store.
I miss
the dime
stores,
though.
Ronda Rich
Dixie Divas
They were a childhood joy,
with their aisles of won
derment and those well
scrubbed, shiny lunch coun
ters that enabled a child to
shop for Barbie doll clothes
while inhaling the delicious
scents of hamburgers and
French fries. Some of those
dime stores had old wood
floors that creaked when
And your street name is: Butter Cat
Our little commu
nity is sort of like
Gotham City.
In Gotham City, if rare
art went missing, it had to
be “The
Joker.”
If there
was a
kidnap
ping with
a slew of
riddles
laying
around
the crime
scene, it
was -no
Len Robbins
Columnist
airpub@planttel.net
CSI needed - “The Riddler.”
If an armed robbery includ
ed a bunch of umbrellas,
“The Penguin” was respon
sible. And if there was a dia
mond heist, the culprit was
undoubtedly “Mr. Freeze.”
Here, if someone steals
a radio, in all likelihood,
“Radio” did it. If your boat
motor goes missing, the
authorities immediately
start looking for “Mullet.” If
a pie gets lifted from a win
dow sill, the likely target of
the ensuing probe is “Large
Larry.”
All of our criminals - all
21 of them - have their own
MOs, things they like to steal
and clues they like to leave,
and their own unique nick
names, or “street names.”
In Florida, they are cata-
DEER
From page 4A
or late evening hours - the times deer
are most prevalent to move around
(but to be safe, don’t limit your efforts
to just during this span) - scan a wide
swath of the roadside. Two, if you see
a deer, SLOW DOWN. They are as
you know unpredictable, just as likely
to run back into the woods as they are
to bolt right in front of you.
•>:
Five Points
Firefighters Association
' a > igp ..ox•>,•• -Ww Wmßmm l§
“Allyou can eat"
Benefit Supper
Delicious home-cooked food served from a huge buffet!
Several meats - vegetables - and a variety of deserts
Load your plate! Take out of eat in and enjoy the good company!
Adults $8 • Children (6-10) $4 • 5 and under: Free!
Baked goods will be auctioned throughout the meal!
Stock up your freezer for the holidays ahead!
th *
you walked across them,
eliminating, I am sure, a
great deal of shoplifting
since it prohibited a thief
from sneaking around.
Anyway, we now shop in
dollar stores not dime stores
so while picking up a box
of baking soda, I ran into
Mrs. Rudeseal on the clean
ing supplies aisle. For your
future information: in the
dollar store, baking soda is
on the cleaning aisle not in
the grocery section. Go fig
ure.
“ I read your column today, ”
she said, smiling like she did
when I got a “B” in math
because for me that was the
same as an “A”. “There was
a word in there that I don’t
believe I taught you in the
second grade.” She winked
merrily.
I laughed. “No, in the sec
ond grade, you taught me
cursive writing and for what
loguing these “street names”
in an effort to battle crime.
A South Florida Sun-
Sentinel story details how
police are using nicknames
to nab criminals. The story
says that Delray Beach
police have 659 nicknames
in their database.
Unfortunately, unlike
Gotham City, where all six of
the city’s criminals went by
different monikers, the same
can not be said of Delray
Beach hoodlums. There
are nine guys nicknamed
“Peanut,” for instance. “Big
Man” is also very popular in
the Florida criminal under
world, as is “Champ” and
“Pee Wee.”
So, fathers, be wary if
your daughter starts dating
a guy with the nickname of
“Bean Pole” or “Butter Cat”
or “Boy George” or “Horse
Head” or “Chicken Man”
or “Weasel” or “Tweet” or
“Scarface” or “Snake” or
“Stinky” or “Donkey Weed”
or “Drunk Moe.”
They are all included in
the scofllaw nickname data
base.
And if your 1 daughter is
already dating a young man
named “Donkey Weed,” and
you just became alarmed
after reading this, please
give your child up for adop
tion.
The story details how
Three, if you see one deer, be pre
pared. There are probably more.
And four, according to one inde
pendent story/report, deer whistles or
ultrasonic deer avoidance systems
attached to your vehicle have never
been proven to actually work.
Don’t rely on them. Rely on being
cautious and aware of your surround
ings.
“Oh deer!” is something we really
don’t hope you have to say.
Thursday,
Nov. 1,2007
4:30- 8 p.m.
it’s worth, I still can’t make
a good ‘Q’.”
She also taught me multi
plication tables and to this
day, I still have a hard time
with some of the eight and
nine multiples. Of course, I
now realize this was a fore
shadowing of things to come.
There are just some lessons
in life that are never going
to stick with me.
Let’s see what some of
those other lessons are that
continue to escape my true
grasp of understanding:
If I want my bath the per
fect temperature, I have to
test the water. As ridicu
lously simple as it is, I still
have not learned this lesson.
Every night I draw a bath
by randomly turning the
handles to what I think will
make it the right tempera
ture. But hot water is hotter
in the summer and colder in
the winter so I frequently
a phone shop in Boynton
Beach was robbed, and
how police determined that
a suspect with the street
name of “Twin” did it. Police
then determined that Jean
Prospere “Twin” Destine,
24, was the culprit and he
was later arrested. He is
called “Twin” because he
has a twin brother. I guess
Jean Prospere doesn’t sound
“street” enough. I’d go by
“Twin” too.
While I’ve been called
many things in my life,
I don’t think “That Idiot
Newspaperman” is my offi
cial “street name.” I don’t
really think I have one, and
have no idea how one obtains
a moniker like “Horse Head”
or “Drunk Moe.” Actually,
on second thought, I do.
I think I need such a street
nickname, though, if I ever
decide to engage in a life
of crime. And you can too.
I have devised a formula to
configure your street name.
Here it is: Pick either an
ugly animal or a fattening
condiment + the name of
something on your cranium
or a household pet.
For instance, you could
come up with “Turkey Dog”
or “Margarine Nose” or
“Ketchup Neck” or “Butter
Cat” (already popular in
Florida - good for confusing
the cops).
OPINION
get it wrong. This tribula
tion could be eliminated
by simply putting my hand
under the running water
and testing it. Every time I
step into a bath too hot or
too cold, I chastise myself by
saying, “Why don’t you ever
learn?”
Trust My Gut. When I
do, I’m right and when I
don’t, I’m wrong. Why not
just trust it all the time? I
once dated a guy that my
gut immediately warned me
against but trusted friends
convinced me was a solid
choice.
I threw instinct out the
window and latched on to
their reasoning. Huge mis
take. My gut was right.
Get A Name. I’ve lost
count of the times I have
called customer service to
resolve an issue and was told
it was handled. It wasn’t.
Then a supervisor would ask
I’m going with “Chicken
Lips.” Please don’t utilize
my “street name.” I want
to establish my own street
cred, thank you.
Hearing Tests Set
for Senior Citizens
Free hearing tests will be giv
en at the Beltone Hearing Aid
Center at 212-A Hospital Dr.
in Warner Robins Monday
through Friday from 9:00 to
5:00.
Board Certified Hearing
Instrument Specialists, Jack
Corry, II and Betty Schwartz
have over 40 years combined
experience in the hearing
healthcare field.
Everyone who has trou
ble hearing or who has loved
ones with hearing difficulty
is welcome to take advantage
of this service. Some of the
causes of hearing loss will be
explained and recommenda
tions will be made. Test re
sults will reveal if medical
treatment or hearing aids
will help.
Yearly testing is recom
mended, especially for those
with hearing difficulty.
Current hearing aid users and
those who have been told pre
viously nothing could be done
for them should be tested to
i ( mrx
Call ter your appointment,
so you wort have to wait.,
929-4567 g
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OFFICIAL ABSENTEE/PROVISIONAL/CHALLENGED BALLOT
m
m OFFICIAL MUNICIPAL GENERAL ELECTION BALLOT ,
OF THE STATE OF GEORGIA
“ NOVEMBER 8, 2007
CENTERVILLE
To wxt btedren the Oval PM neit to tie candidate of your choice. To vote for a person not on tie balor, marmaiy WRITE ft h« cr her name ti ihe
_ spaceprovided then blackendie correspoodtog Ora! (M). » you desire tovole YES or HO fora PROPOSED QUESTION, blacken die conesponrfcig Oval
(•). Use only pen or pend. ( yew spd jour bsM, do not erase. Mask lore new Mot
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For City Council
Foots
(Vote for One)
O WHO R. HARLEY
O EDWARD A TUCKER
o
For City Council
Port 4
(Vote for One)
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determine if new
technology would
benefit them.
wßeltone
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2007
on the next call, “Did you get
a name?” No, I didn’t. And
each time, I have scolded
myself saying for the hun
dredth time, “You know bet
ter, you dummy.”
I have learned some
things, though: No brides
maid’s dress will ever be
worn twice; my swim suit
days have melted away like
butter on my thighs and a
man who’ll lie to you, will
cheat on you. It may not be
much, but it’s a good start.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I
need to work on my multi
plication tables.
Ronda Rich is the best
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CITY OF CENTERVILLE
REFERENDUM QUESTION 1
SUNDAY ALCOHOL SALES
(Vote for One)
Shell the governing authority of Centerville, Georgia be
authorized to perm# and regulate Sunday sales of distilled
spirits or alcoholic beverages for beverage purposes by the
drink?
o*»
REFERENDUM QUESTION 2
AMENDMENT OF AD VALOREM TAX
EXEMPTION FOR PERSONS AGED
SEVENTY OR OVER
(Vote for One)
Should the homestead exemption from dry ad valorem taxes
. within toe City of Centerville be emended so fhel the amount of
the homestead exemption from city ad valorem taxes within Ihe
' City of Centorvdte is limited to $25,000.00 of the assessed
value of the homestead (as defined in O.C.GA §4S-5-40) of
each resident bf Ihe dty, aged 70 years or older?
cjtts
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mjMTOaB 1 SEQt I
selling author of What
Southern Women Know
(That Every Woman Should)
and The Town That Came
A-Courtin’.
Jim Collins
Attorney At Law
Specializing In
• Criminal Defense
• Divorce
127 CARL VINSON PKWY. ;
WARNER ROBINS. GA 31088
478-322-2542
13£1
■ WBk:
5A
S3oidd iNnoosml
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J 556431
55086