Newspaper Page Text
6A
♦ WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2007
Tell adopted child he is a blessed addition to family
Question: How would
you go about telling a
child he or she is adopt
ed, and when should that
disclosure occur?
DR. DOBSON: First, begin
talking to your toddler about
his or her adoption before
the child can understand
the meaning of the word.
That way there will never
be a moment when disclo
sure is necessary. To learn
of adoption from a neighbor
or other family member can
be an awful shock to an indi
vidual. Don’t risk the devas
tation of a later discovery by
failing to take the sting out
of the issue in babyhood.
Second, celebrate two
birthdays with equal gusto
each year: the anniversary of
her birth, and the anniver
sary of the day she became
your daughter. That is a
handy mechanism by which
the adoption can be intro-
Pencil accidents can’t be erased
By GLYNN MOORE
Morris News Service
Well, boys and girls, I see
by the shadows on the wall
that Halloween is nearly
here. How would you like for
me to tell you the grisly tale
of the sweet little girl who
was attacked by The Pencil
of Doom? Let’s call the girl,
oh, I don’t know, Karson.
Let’s say she’s 8 and in the
third grade. One day, as All
Hallows’ Eve approached,
Karson’s family received a
call from her school nurse.
I wasn’t around for that
part, though. I became
involved when my wife,
who is the grandmother of
the aforementioned victim,
called me at home on my day
off from work.
“Karson got a pencil stuck
in her stomach and the lead
broke off under her skin,”
JoAn said. “I’m going to the
school now to pick her up. Do
you know whether the lead is
toxic and has to be removed
right away?”
I didn’t, but I reminded
my wife that the poison in
imported toys wasn’t a fac
tor because pencil lead is not
actually lead, but graphite.
I also tried telling her that
pencil juice is called “lead”
because, according to wiki
pedia.com, when a deposit
of graphite was unearthed
HICKS
From page 4A
This policy is not sophisti
cated; it is the height of igno
rance. And it ignores what
we know about underage sex.
Research shows that when
sex is initiated at a young age,
the likelihood of future risky
sexual behavior and multiple
sexual partners increases
(as does the risk for STDs
and pregnancy). Research
also shows that early sexual
behavior means a greater
likelihood for depression, low
self-esteem and guilt.
The pill does not protect
against sexually transmitted
disease, which are rampant
among young people today.
Nor does it protect against a
heart that is broken, possibly
several times over from rela
tionships that end when the
guy gets what he wants and
moves on.
Something like this should
serve as a stark reminder to
all of us who have children to
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55632
Dr. James
Dobson
Focus on the Family
duced. It
also pro
vides a
way to
equalize
the status
of siblings.
Biological
children
have a
psycho
logical
advantage, which they
sometimes lord over their
adopted brother or sister.
That one-upmanship is neu
tralized somewhat when the
adopted child gets a second
birthday.
Third, present the adop
tive event as a tremendous
blessing (as implied above)
that brought great excite
ment to the household. Tell
about how badly you and
your wife wanted a baby to
hold even though it looked
like you wouldn’t get to raise
in England in the 16th cen
tury, they mistook it for the
element and called it plum
bago, or lead ore. Lead, of
course, was called plumbum
in Latin, so now we have
“plumbing.” And graphite,
which is a form of carbon,
means “to write.”
I tried telling her all that,
but she pretended her cell
phone was acting up, so I
promised to find out the dan
gers of graphite.
First, I called a nurse fine,
and she said there was noth
ing to worry about. I must
have sounded unconvinced,
because she turned me over
to the Poison Control Center.
The poison guy didn’t even
give me time to finish my
question. He just laughed.
“I’ve had a pencil point
in my thumb for 20 years,”
he said. “There’s nothing to
worry about.”
When JoAn brought
Karson home from school, I
expected to see a cute little
voodoo doll with a yellow No.
2 sticking out of her stom
ach. The pencil had gone in
at an angle, though, leaving
a mark and a scratch a few
inches long.
Despite her brush with
subcutaneous handwriting,
Karson was in a good mood,
so I offered to remove the
streak across her belly with a
talk to our kids about making
safe, healthy choices when
it comes to sex. Help them
tb maintain their innocence
and be focused on the things
children should be occupied
with in their lives. Society is
doing its level best to influ :
ence our kids.
We should be the final word
in their lives.
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another boy or girl. Then
describe how the news came
that “you had arrived,” and
how the whole family cel
ebrated and cheered. Let
your child know your delight
when you first saw him lying
in a crib, and how cute he
looked in his blue blanket,
etc. Tell him that his adop
tion was one of the happiest
days of your life, and how
you raced to the telephone
to call all your friends and
family members to share the
fantastic news. (Again, I’m
assuming that these details
are true.)
This is the point: The
child’s interpretation of the
adoptive event is almost
totally dependent on the
manner in which it is con
veyed during the early years.
Most certainly, one does not
want to approach the sub
ject sadly, admitting reluc
tantly that a dark and trou
pencil eraser; she didn’t see
the poetic brilliance in that.
She did let us dig out a por
tion of the lead with tweezers
before the pain got to be too
much. We laid aside the cold,
frightening instrument and
took her shopping.
We bought a decorative
necktie to attach below the
three-dimensional face on
the maple in our yard.
Then, to celebrate Karson’s
survival, we all had an ice
cream cone. That wasn’t
scary at all.
The next day at work, just
about everyone I told the
stoiy to had his or her own
account of being impaled on
writing instruments at some
point in life.
They are walking around
today with graphite shrap
nel in their hands, legs, rear
ends you name the body
part and it has sent many a
pencil back to the sharpener.
We live in a world of short
ages and excess. Petroleum
is dear because supply never
meets demand. Water is the
new petroleum because of
our drought.
We can’t do much about
those crises, but I feel con
fident that if this country
ever starts running out of
graphite, we’re a nation of
walking, talking pencil lead
mines.
Georgia Family Council
is a non-profit organization
that works to strengthen and
defend the family in Georgia
by equipping marriage advo
cates, shaping laws, prepar
ing the next generation and
influencing culture. For more
information, go to www.geor
giafamily.org, 770-242-0001,
stephen@gafam.org.
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OPINION
blesome secret must now be
confessed.
Fourth, when the founda
tion has been laid and the
issue is defused, then forget
it. Don’t constantly remind
the child of his unique
ness to the point of foolish
ness. Mention the matter
when it is appropriate, but
don’t reveal anxiety or ten
sion by constantly throw
ing adoption in the child’s
face. Youngsters are amaz
ingly perceptive at “read
ing” these thinly disguised
attitudes.
I believe it is possible, by
following these common
sense suggestions, to raise
an adopted child without
psychological trauma or per
sonal insult.
Question: Children
seem to be growing up at
a younger age today than
in the past. Is this true
and if so, what accounts
LETTER 1
From page 4A
communities in Georgia
have paid a heavy price for
Canada’s non-compliance.
Perhaps equally unfortu
nate, or even outrageous,
has been the U.S. govern
ment’s unwillingness to hold
Canada accountable to the
LETTER 2
From page 4A
know the insurgents will
- ■■ ;
913 tiO ':IiMH r
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for their faster develop
ment?
DOBSON: Yes, it is true.
Statistical records indicate
that our children are grow
ing taller today than in the
past, probably resulting
from better nutrition, medi
cine, exercise, rest and rec
reation.
And this more ideal physi
cal environment has appar
ently caused sexual matu
rity to occur at younger and
younger ages. It is thought
that puberty in a particu
lar child is triggered when
he or she reaches a certain
level of growth; therefore,
when environmental and
general health factors pro
pel a youngster upward at a
faster rate, sexual matura
tion occurs earlier.
For example, in 1850,
the average age of men
arche (first menstruation)
in Norwegian girls was 17.0
DINNER DINING
terms of the Agreement.
While Canada refuses to col
lect an estimated one-third
of the required export taxes
from Canadian producers,
and announces massive new
unfair subsidies in violation
of the agreement, the U.S.
government appears all but
unwilling to force Canada to
comply with the agreement.
I encourage you and your
destroy it all in their civil war.
Polls show that a majority of
the Iraqis want us to leave
- the same with Americans.
Our military by April 2008
Wednesday
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RIB & CHICKEN
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At The Medical Center of Central Georgia
HOUSTON HOME JOURNAL
years of age; in 1950, it
was 13.0. The average age
of puberty in females had
dropped four years in one
centuiy. In the United States
the average age of the men
arche dropped from 16.5 in
1840 to 12.9 in 1950. More
recent figures indicate that
it now occurs on average at
12.4 years of age! Thus, the
trends toward younger dat
ing and sexual awareness
are a result, at least in part,
of this “fast track” mecha
nism.
Dr. Dobson is founder and
chairman of the board of
the nonprofit organization
Focus on the Family, P.O. Box
444, Colorado Springs, CO.
80903; or www.family.org.
Questions and answers are
excerpted from The Complete
Marriage and Family
Home Reference Guide and
Bringing Up Boys, both pub
lished by Tyndale House.
readers to further explore the
agreement, and I have found
a reliable resource at www.
FairLumberCoallition.org. I
also urge your readers to ask
questions about what their
Washington Representatives
are doing to stop Canada’s
infringement of the agree
ment that is putting at risk the
livelihoods of our mill towns.
Rusty Wood, Perry
will be worn out and less
effective, according to Gen.
Petraeus. Help us leave now!
Frank W. Gadbois,
Warner Robins
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