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HOUSTON HOME JOURNAL
Letting go of kids is hard, but has many rewards
QUESTION: I have found it
very hard to turn loose of my
kids and face the empty nest.
I know I need to release them
but it is so difficult. Can you
help me?
DR. DOBSON: Humorist Erma
Bombeck described this difficult
process in terms that were helpful
to me. She said the task of rais
ing kids is rather like trying to
fly a kite on a day when the wind
doesn’t blow. Mom and Dad run
down the road pulling the cute
little device at the end of a string.
It bounces along the ground and
shows no inclination of getting off
the ground.
Eventually and with much effort,
they manage to lift it fifteen feet in
the air, but great danger suddenly
looms. The kite dives toward elec
trical lines and twirls near trees.
It is a scary moment. Will they
ever get it safely on its way? Then,
unexpectedly, a gust of wind catch-
Horoscopes warn of naked busdriver
Many people believe in horo
scopes, and that astrology
controls their fate.
While I respect these folks’ person-
al beliefs, I don’t
really buy into it.
When I asked
my Magic 8-Ball if
astrology has any
bearing on our
lives, it said, “My
sources say no.”
Whatever your
beliefs, there are
few men, women,
or household pets
alive who haven’t
Len Robbins
Columnist
airpub@planttei.net
once scanned, or urinated on, a news
paper horoscope. For the record, I’ve
done both. At a newspaper I worked
at Jong ago, I was the person respon
sible for placing the horoscopes in
the paper.
One day, the horoscopes did not
arrive as scheduled. They were some
how scrambled in the modem from
the company of prophets that sent
them to us daily. Perhaps, if I had
The greatest
gift is teaching
At a Thanksgiving
luncheon, I was
holding my 18-
month-old nephew, Tripp,
as I visited tables to speak
to folks. I
stopped
and greet
ed a friend,
patting
him on
his back.
Tripp
watched
quiet
ly then
leaned
PPMHRPP ;
Ronda Rich
Dixie Divas
down, stretching out his lit
tle arm and patted Billy, too,
in that awkward, uncoordi
nated way that babies have.
I chuckled, realizing that
Tripp had simply emulated
what he had seen me do. See,
children are like that. They,
more often than not, simply
grow up imitating those they
watch. Good or bad.
Every Christmas, I find
myself imitating adults
who used Christmas as a
time of kindness and gen
erosity. Last week, I men
tioned that there are two
particular Christmas memo
ries that link arms and skip
through my memory every
Yule Tide season. My heart
always warms at thoughts of
Daddy’s many generosities
but mostly I am humbled
by what I watched happen
repeatedly, especially when
he gave what he didn’t real
ly have to give. Amazingly,
whatever he had given away
came back to him many
times over.
“You can’t out give God,”
Daddy always said. “Just
try to out give him.” He’d
wink in that smart aleck
way he sometimes had. “I
dare you.”
So, each Christmas, I
think often of that finan
cially bleak year when he
had given away part of his
property tax money because
he found someone who need
ed it more than he. By that
evening, God, not to be out
es the kite and
it sails upward.
Mom and Dad
feed out line as
rapidly as they
can.
The kite
begins pull
ing the string,
making it diffi
cult to hold on.
Inevitably, they
reach the end of their line. What
should they do now? The kite is
demanding more freedom. It wants
to go higher. Dad stands on his tip
toes and raises his hand to accom
modate the tug. It is now grasped
tenuously between his index
finger and thumb, held upward
toward the sky. Then the moment
of release comes. The string slips
through his fingers, and the kite
soars majestically into God’s beau
tiful sky.
Mom and dad stand gazing at
"Whatever your beliefs,
there are few men, women,
or household pets alive who
haven't once scanned, or
urinated on, a newspaper
horoscope."
checked my horoscope the day before,
I would have seen that coming.
Anyway, under the siege of dead
line, I grabbed the horoscope from
the day before, borrowed from its
verbiage, spiced it up a little, and
basically wrote the horoscope that
day myself.
It went as follows:
ARIES: Stress independence, neu
trality, eagerness. Don’t wear brown
shoes. They make your ankles look
like tree stumps.
TAURUS: You will find laughter
today. Unfortunately, it will be at
your expense. Check zipper periodi
cally.
given, had sent back the
money in the form of busi
ness.
As much as I love that
story from childhood, there
is another that still moves
me as deeply as it did the
December afternoon that it
happened when I was five.
The memory is so power
ful that it still easily coaxes
tears from my eyes.
Remember dime stores?
The predecessors to dollar
stores? Mama and I were
shopping a few days before
Christmas in an old-fash
ioned one with ancient,
unvarnished hardwood
floors that were oiled reg
ularly and creaked might
ily. It was fascinating with
its endless rows of trinkets
and sparkling items. While
Mama shopped for Christmas
odds and ends, I wandered
around the magical, dimly
lighted store until she called,
“C’mon. I’m ready to check
out.”
Running my fingers across
the edge of the display
tables, I trailed behind her
to the check-out. A young
man, perhaps 17 or 18, was
handing his merchandise
to the clerk. There were a
couple of costume baubles, a
bottle of cologne and a scarf
of which he seemed particu
larly proud as he tenderly
handed it to the clerk. It was
obvious, even to a child, that
he was doing his Christmas
shopping. I folded my arms,
placed them on the counter
and rested my chin there as
I watched him. Excited, he
waited as she rang it up.
“That’ll be $4.87.”
Carefully, he counted out
dollar bills and change.
Suddenly, panic sprang
across his face. He didn’t
have enough.
“Oh no,” he whispered.
“That’s all I’ve got.”
The derk shrugged. “Well,
you’ll just have to put some
thin’ back.”
Tears welled in his eyes.
See RICH, page 148
their precious “baby” who is now
gleaming in the sun, a mere pin
point of color on the horizon. They
are proud of what they’ve done
- but sad to realize that their job is
finished. It was a labor of love. But
where did the years go?
That is where you are today
- standing on tiptoes and stretch
ing toward the sky with the end of
the string clutched between your
fingers. It’s time to let go. And
when you do, you’ll find that a
new relationship will be bom. Your
parenting job is almost over. In its
place will come a friendship that
will have its own rewards.
Remember: the kite is going to
break free, one way or the other.
It’s best that you release it when
the time is right!
QUESTION: You have recom
mended for many years that
parents take their pre-teens
away from home for what
you called a “Preparing for
Dr. James
Dobson
Focus on the Family
U* | www.hhc.org
I
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OPINION
GEMINI: Pisces plays prominent
role in transaction. Watch out for
naked busdriver. He can’t be trust
ed.
CANCER: Remember - to get a
smile, you must give a smile. Man
with hat wants to kill you.
LEO: Utilize your people skills to
win new friends. You will not hear
something very important due to ear
wax buildup.
VIRGO: Close relative is in need
of your advice. You’ll be chosen for
the lead role in “The Man from
LaMancha.”
LIBRA: Temperamental Leo says,
“You sure are lucky to know me!”
You’ll knock him upside the head
with a paint bucket.
SCORPIO: Attention revolves
around domestic situation. Whatever
you do - don’t go outside.
SAGITTARIUS: Former teacher
will play a role. She now works for
the IRS. Deny everything. That pink
stuff in your attic is not cotton candy
- don’t eat it.
CAPRICORN: Lunar aspect
Adolescence” weekend, dur
ing which they talk about the
physical and emotional chang
es about to occur. I’m interest
ed in your comment that kids
want this information before
they become teenagers, but
they won’t want to talk about
it after puberty. Do their atti
tudes really change that much
overnight?
DR. DOBSON: As a mat
ter of fact, they do. A study of
1,023 children between 10 and
13 showed that the number who
felt uncomfortable talking to their
parents about sexuality nearly
doubled after puberty occurred.
Prior to that, they were very open
to instruction and guidance at
home. Ninety- three percent of
those aged 10-12 felt loved by their
parents “all the time,” says Dr.
Alvin Poussaint, a psychiatrist at
Harvard University. He said, “I
think parents may be surprised
coincides with physical attraction,
participation in creative endeavor,
whatever that means. Horshack from
“Welcome Back Kotter” plays role.
AQUARIUS: Emphasis on finan
cial power, marital status, Viking
food. Watch sky for falling anvil.
PISCES: Absolutely nothing will
happen to you today.
IF YOUR BIRTHDAY IS
TODAY: Scorpio, Taurus persons
play outstanding role in your life.
Attitude toward others undergoes
transformation due to incident with
left-handed rake. During coming
year, you will meet long-lost sibling
you didn’t know you had (Hint: He
works at Shoney’s). You will be one
year older today than you were yes
terday. Close relative will make call
to you. Cake plays prominent role.
As astrology would have it, a cou
ple of days later, I (of the astrological
sign Cancer) did have a man with a
hat who wanted to kill me.
He was a Virgo and was rather
upset that he didn’t get the lead role
in “The Man from LaMancha.”
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WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2007 ♦
that children of this age are say
ing, “We want to be close to you.
We need you and we’re still afraid.
We need the sense of safety and
security that you supply.” The
study showed, however, that atti
tudes changed dramatically when
the children reached the eighth
grade. Those who had been open
to advice the year before were
suddenly unwilling to talk to their
parents. The window of accessibil
ity had closed. The moral to the
story? Invest a little time in the
months before puberty to get your
children ready for the stresses of
adolescence. The effort will pay big
dividends.
Dr. Dobson is founder and chair
man of the board of the nonprofit
organization Focus on the Family,
Colorado Springs, CO 80995
(www.family.org). Questions and
answers are excerpted from Solid
Answers and Bringing Up Boys,
both published by Tyndale House.
Houston Healthcare
SAY
From page 6A
which as a minimum we
would think the FBI or
Homeland Security raise
an eyebrow over.
Yes, he’s a decorated vet
but then so are many of us
- and you - and yes, he’s
done/doing some great
work in regard to multiple
sclerosis, which he report
edly has, but does that
make him above all oth
ers?
If anything we would
argue that - being a role
model - makes him more
accountable.
The point is there is a
major double standard out
there (no, we’re not naive
enough to believe we’re
telling you anything new).
Taking responsibility for
your actions.
Punishment, or rather a
lack of it, is not relevant
to what you say or do, it is
only relevant to who you
are.
7A
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