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and kiss on Mary all day long, and she genuinely
gives that back to them. It’s a beautiful sight.”
However, it isn’t always easy for Blige to express
giddy sentiments when it comes to her man. “When
men get all mush, mush” Blige contorts her
face with horror “it’s like, ugh! lam totally not
the romantic.”
Blige, who spent years in
a turbulent relationship
with singer K-Ci of ,
Jodeci fame, eon
cedes, “I am learn- ;
ing how now
a little mas- jB
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sage, a ‘Hi, baby.’ ” Then she
grows serious, her words J
measured. She explains
why she still at times i ; V
keeps her defenses up, "fj
loses her temper, opens 3
her own doors and pulls T
out her own chairs. “I had \
to be so hard for so many
years. When I showed little
pieces of my affection. I was
taken advantage of. After a
I while, you’re like, ‘Nobody has to
do anything for me’ because of all of the
rejection and hurt. My husband is getting the
bulk of the disaster [that previous relation
ships] caused. But he has been helping me be
cause he is so patient and kind.”
| er journey as a woman and artist
has been an inspiration to both fans
and friends. “Mary is all heart,” says
IX Jay-Z. “I used to sense an awk-
T|k wardness in her, and I assumed
it was a lack of self-esteem, or
maybe she thought she was
-• «k too ‘ghetto’ to hold conver
jjSVLlak sations in certain places. I
wanted to tell her noth
"b ing could be further
from the truth, and
everybody to
know the
tion she has. She
has lived and
survived the
| “My husband’s
jaeKing the bulk
BUie disaster
previous
relationships]
caused. But he’s
helping me.”
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• Above: Blige
with Jay-Z on their
recent Heart of the City ■**«, '
tour. Right, in LA. at the 1999 Grammy nominations.
tale. The real truth about Mary is, she knows she is
only one way from the heart and she chooses
whom to converse with because she knows the world
judges. She’s brilliant.”
Blige was raised in the hardened housing proj
ects of Yonkers, N.Y. At 5, she has said, she was mo
lested by a family friend. Even her love of singing,
a talent she discovered at 7, was stifled. “In the
neighborhood I grew up in, if something good hap
pened to you, you better not tell nobody,” she says.
“If you did something great, you had to pay for it!”
Blige admits that maintaining her positive out
look is a continual struggle. She takes comfort in
her family, the Bible and self-help tomes like A
New Earth. Staying healthy is also a goal; she and
Isaacs have a chef who keeps them on a low-carb
diet, and she works out with a trainer. (Earlier this
year, her spokeswoman denied a report that linked
Blige to steroid use, and she declined to comment
further.) To those close to her, she finally has al
lowed the loving woman deep inside her to flour
ish. “How I see her today is how I saw her when I
first met her, though she didn’t see herself the same
way then,” says her husband, describing a joyful
Blige who indulges in belly laughs and dances
around the house. “She has always been this jewel.
Now, she is shedding whatever insecurities that
might have been holding her back.”
And Blige herself tries not to restrain her happy
impulses. “I had to learn to smell the roses, just en
joy and be happy,” she says. “I learned
to not be afraid and to not be im
prisoned by how r serious I think life
is. That’s the balance.” ca
USA WEEKEND • June 20-22. 2008
FAMILY PHOTO: BfcNNfc TT KAOLIN, WtfttlMAL*. PUtfOKMtNG W>TH MY Z NCK DIAMOND. WMEMAGE AT GRAMMY NOMINATIONS BRENDA CHASE ONLINE USA MA NEWSCOM
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