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A couple of (Mugs you should know about same-sex marriages, the law
Dear Readers: Much
has been made
of the California
Supreme Court’s decision
permitting same-sex mar
riages. Some segments of
society are offended by this
idea. I thought it might be
helpful to discuss the his
torical nature of the concept
of “marriage.”
The California opinion
is a bit unique, because of
the state’s existing law per
mitting “domestic partner
ship.” A few years ago, a
law was enacted granting
same-sex partners the same
civil rights and obligations
as heterosexual marriag
es - the only difference is
that the traditional union
is called a “marriage” and
same sex unions are called
“domestic partnerships.”
Thus, the only issue was
whether or not, given the
laws on the books, there
The ritual of reflection
We accomplish
most of the minor
activities of life
through routine, habitual
behaviors. You probably give
little thought to how you
wash your face, put on your
shoes, or drive to work.
Some of these daily ritu
als began intentionally. For
example, your parents prob
ably worked for months
(maybe years) to cause
brushing your teeth to be
a routine occurrence. The
beginning of other rituals
may be harder to identify.
Still, they contribute to you
making it through your day.
From studying the best
organizations in the world,
we know that they approach
genuine excellence by rou
tinely looking for ways to
improve the products and
services they deliver to their
customers. This applies not
only to the paying custom
ers, but to each internal cus
tomer in the series of pro
cesses required in the orga
nization’s operations.
Achieving desired out
comes requires the execu
tion of proper behaviors.
We choose every day the
most appropriate behaviors
based on the circumstances
we face. This sequence can
MONCRIEF
From page 4A
feeding her babies. And the
babies, best I can tell, aren’t
even squawking: “Buy me
this!” “Buy me that!” How
un-hip is that?)
I’m sorry. I’m not try
ing to be cruel. It just gets
my old goat to hear some
young whipper snapper treat
me or any adult like I/we
haven’t lived. I didn’t jump
off Echeconnee Creek Bridge
(meaning I did) back in my
early hip years (around 16).
I didn’t also watch in horror
as one of those with us hit
a stump and had to be car
ried away in an ambulance,
maybe to never walk again.
I didn’t climb the side of a
mountain in North Georgia
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The'Law'Man
Jim
Rockefeller
Attorney,
Rockefeller
Law Center
was an “equal protection”
violation by giving same-sex
unions a lesser designation
than the more commonly
one of “marriage.”
Some will express horror
at the “destruction” of tra
ditional notions of marriage,
as being only a monoga
mous joining of a man and a
woman. These folks will rest
their argument on the idea
that any other type of union
violates Biblical notions and
the traditions of our coun
try.
Building Future Leaders
•P' A
Dennis
Hooper
Your
Leadership
Coach
be easily expressed in three
simple steps: SEE - DO -
GET. What we get is a func
tion of what we do, and what
we do is a function of how
we see the situation and our
relationship to it.
If we want to improve, it
helps to consciously reflect
on what we did well (so we
can intentionally repeat it)
and what we could do better
the next time a similar situ
ation occurs.
One of my clients is mak
ing steady progress. Several
weeks ago, they held an
important meeting to evalu
ate the way they are commu
nicating with their suppliers.
The meeting was about to
end.
Before the participants
could stand, one person
spoke up. “Aren’t we going
to ask ourselves the two rou
tine questions?” Everyone
- again back in my “hip”
years - only to have a police
officer meet us at the top
with the news three people
had died the previous year
doing just the same thing. Et
cetera. Et cetera.
To me there’s a fine line
between extreme and hip and
trendy and stupid and naive
and only someone who has
seen some of what this world
eventually will offer them
(if “death” is just a word
he/they have yet to learn
anything) can know the dif
ference. If they don’t want to
benefit from the wisdom of
someone who’s already made
the mistake and somehow
lived to tell about it, fine.
And don’t get me wrong.
I am still plenty stupid
and naive in comparison
to someone who has lived
Well. . . not so much. The
United States’ “tradition” of
marriage is not as strong
as some might say. While it
absolutely true that the con
cept of same-sex marriage
has no historical anteced
ent in the U.S., it took a
while for a consensus to be
reached.
Until 1862, polygamy was
tolerated, at least on a cer
tain level. Then Congress
passed a law banning this
practice in the Utah ter
ritories. It was not until
1890 that the United States
Supreme Court definitively
banned polygamy. And in
the echo of slavery and “Jim
Crow” laws, racially “mixed”
marriages were still banned
in some states as late as
1967.
Moreover, it is actually his
torically inaccurate to argue
that the “nuclear” family
- comprising the father/hus
paused, put down their
materials, and sat forward
in their seats. One person
jumped to the board and
started recording responses
to two questions: “What did
we do well in this meeting?”
and “What could we do bet
ter next time?”
The individuals in this
organization are intention
ally building a ritual of end
ing every project, activity,
and meeting with a signifi
cant look at their results and
the individual and collective
actions that delivered them.
Even the employees working
on the production line are
asking these questions.
In their 2003 book enti
tled The Power of Full
Engagement, Jim Loehr and
Tony Schwartz write, “A
positive ritual is a behavior
that becomes automatic over
time, fueled by some deeply
held value.” A sincere desire
for improvement is one such
deeply held value!
“We use the word ‘ritual’
purposefully to emphasize
the notion of a carefully
defined, highly structured
behavior.... The power of ritu
als is that they insure that we
use as little conscious energy
as possible where it is not
absolutely necessary, leaving
long enough to earn “senior
citizen” status, just not, I
believe, as stupid and naive
as anyone who thinks this is
a great thing.
“I’ll stick to being a square
‘daddy-o.’”
But, if it makes the 15-30-
year-olds who aren’t parents
feel any better, I’ll start, my
own website. That’ll keep
the riffraff from hanging out
at theirs.
I’ll call it GutHangingOut.
com. It will be the happen
ing place for the hip-replace
ment generation. Only
unlike him/them I won’t
have any restrictions on
age or anything like that
because some of Brian’s cli
ents, if they keep trying to
skateboard down metal rails
with no success, might just
need a safer place to land.
band, mother/wife, and their
children - is an ancient one.
If we look back to Classical
times, we find a much differ
ent tradition.
As we know, from the sto
ries of the Old Testament,
the tribal nature of ancient
times lent itself to polyga
my and an extremely fluid
and ill-defined notion of a
“family.” This carried over
to Greek and Roman society,
where a “pater” (or house
hold father) ruled over occu
pants in his home, which
included slaves, many wives
and “children,” who might
have been “adopted” (but,
not formally) from dead rel
atives. There is even some
evidence of “gay marriage”
in Ancient Greece.
These traditions spilled
over into the Holy Roman
Empire. As the Middle Ages
approached, this “pater” con
cept morphed into a “feudal”
us free to strategically focus
the energy available to us
in creative, enriching ways
... Creating positive rituals
is the most powerful means
we have found to effectively
manage energy in the service
of full engagement.”
Excellence rarely develops
from random acts of improve
ment. If you are interested
in personal growth or in
leading your organization
toward authentic excellence,
I suggest you consider ask
ing yourself the two “reflec
tion” questions after every
engagement.
Initially, like the team
I’ve described, you’ll have
to make reflection an inten
tional act. If two or more of
you hold each other account
able for asking the questions,
reflection will become a posi
tive ritual.
You probably won’t call it
a “ritual of reflection.” Just
do it routinely, and it will
become one! Your organiza
tion will continually improve,
moving in the direction of
genuine excellence.
Dennis Hooper helps good
organizations build healthi
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r 54
system, where rights and
responsibilities were tied
up in the noble/vassal rela
tionship. To ensure that the
Lord maintained his right
to tax and bequeath the gift
of land to his vassals, the
eldest son (if there was one)*
“inherited” the role of the
“vassal” for the family.
As the population’s health
improved in Renaissance
Europe, the concept of
“inheritance” was expanded
to include ALL children and,
eventually, even the wife,
and “wealth” would build up
in generations of the family
unit.
Hence, the “modern” fam
ily did not really emerge
until the late-16th or 17th
Centuries. Civil law became
more fixed and marriages
were formalized and rec
ognized by the State; simi
larly, canonical law began
to formally sanction “holy
er cultures and future lead
ers. His website is www.
buildingfutureleaders.com.
You may contact him at
dhooper2@juno.com or 478-
988-0237.
Assessing Your
Leadership Skills
-SBS/person
Ii ' I
ELECT
Charles Lewis
Perry City Council
POST 1 • DISTRICT 3
“In Tune With The People Of Perry,
No Strings Attached”
SATURDAY, JUNE 21, 2008 ♦
matrimony” in religious cer
emonies.
As you can see, the histori
cal definition of “family” has
not been static. The idea of
“family” has changed and
evolved as society moved
towards our current post
industrial economy. Today,
the civil rights conferred by
marriage have become a core
component in our economy;
leading the gay community
to push for civil (as opposed
to religious) recognition of
same-sex partnerships.
Local attorney Jim
Rockefeller owns the
Rockefeller Law Center and
is a former Houston County
Chief Assistant District
Attorney, and a former Miami
Prosecutor. Visit www.rocke
fellerlawcenter.com to submit
confidential legal questions,
and to review former arti
cles and Frequently Asked
Questions.
Best Cooks
In Perry!
F. Dennis Hooper
Certified
Leadership Development Coach
Building leaders and
organizations of excellence
(478) 988-0237
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