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Wedding planners reveal telltale signs of marital mayhem on the way to the altar.
BY KELLY DiNARDO
BRIDEZILLA that breed of bride who
who rants and raves her way to the chapel
has become such a fixture of Ameri
can wedding culture that a TV show and
many websites and You Tube clips are devoted to
the topic. Among the horror stories: the bride who
demanded that her bridesmaids diet so they would
look better in their dresses, and another one who
wanted 38 cakes at her reception.
Of course, there’s also the less-heralded but some
times equally appalling Groomzifla, who does things
like including a deposit slip for the couple’s bank
account in the wedding invitation.
These jaw-dropping moves make great tales, but
such prenuptial antics can speak volumes about a
couple’s future. No one knows this better than the
legions of wedding planners, photographers and flo
rists who help more than 2 million couples marry
each year. We asked a few wedding pros about what
they see as the signs of a good (or bad) union.
12
USA WEEKEND ■ June 20-22,2008
Sweating the small stuff in a big way
New York event planner Jung Lee has seen her
share of couples who can’t agree on the small things,
from the flower arrangements to the reception seat
ing plans. Although some disagreement is natural,
a screaming match over tulips vs. roses or
chocolate vs. vanilla indicates a bigger
problem. “If a couple disagrees over
the minute details that really don’t
matter, or if there’s a power struggle
over little things, then that doesn’t bode
well,” says Lee, author of Fete: The Wed
ding Experience.
One-sid«d"ido"
“A lot of times, I don’t meet the groom until the day
of the wedding,” says John Pacetti, owner of Time
less Studio of Photography in FVeehold, N.J. “When
I do, that stands out. I think the more involved he
is in the planning, the more involved he is in the re
lationship. He’s not just going along with her vi-
sion. It’s a partnership.” And the bride needs to re
spect that partnership. “Recently, I did a cake tast
ing with one couple, and the bride didn’t let the
groom speak,” says Jacquelyn Mendoza, who owns
San Diego Destination Weddings. “Every time he
said something, she would pat him on the leg and
say, ‘That’s nice, honey.’ She kept shutting him down
and treating him like a puppy.”
Money pit
Money is a big relationship issue. “It worries me
when couples don’t talk about finances before they
get married,” says Steven Buckwald of Surround
ings Flowers and Events in New York. “I had one
bride who booked the entire party without her
groom’s input. A w r eek later, we got a call from her
fiance. He saw the charge bill and said it was too
much money. I explained we went over this with his
fiancee, and he said, ‘I love this woman, but she’s
going to kill me.’ ”
Friends'attitude
Friends help celebrate the big day, and how the cou
ple interacts with them can point to potential prob
lems down the road. How friends feel about your sig
nificant other can raise red flags, too. “If the brides
maids have given signs they don’t like the groom be
fore the wedding, I would suggest the bride find out
why,” Mendoza says. “Is it insecurity about how the
friendship will change, or is it a bigger issue?”
The parent trap
Parents also may be an indication of how r healthy
a wedding couple’s marriage is likely to be.
“I was at one wedding, and the groom’s
parents were totally in love with each
other,” Mendoza recalls. “They were
older, and this man adored his wife,
and she adored him back. The son was
the same way with his bride. It was clear
that environment really taught him to
be a loving husband.”
HOW PARENTS
INTERACT
MAY BE A SIGN
OF THINGS
TO COME
A photo finish
“If they’re both receptive to suggestions and hav
ing fun with each other during the photo session, I
think that’s a sign of a good relationship,” Pacetti
says. “If they don’t want to be lovey or romantic for
the photos, that [is a warning sign] for me.” E 3