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VOLUME TWO.
WHAT WE THINK OF WHAT WE SEE
We can recall several occasions when we were
growing up that the distinguished visitor to the
school discussed very optimistically the possibility
within the grasp of every boy listening to him,
namely, that of becoming President of the United
States. This was such a favorite subject with dis
tinguished visiters that it got on our mind and we
began to consider being President. It was not long,
however, until we were convinced that the job didn’t
carry a salary in keeping with the onerous duties
and responsibilities thereunto appertaining, so we
turned our attention to other matters. But now
when all our training and experience fits us for to
tally different work, we learn that we made a mis
take. The present President of the United States,
Mr. Theodore Roosevelt, has been presented with
a fourteen karat gold pass to the ball games played
by every baseball league in the United States and
Canada during 1907. He can enter the ball park
in 258 cities, go right up into the grandstand and
watch the game without having to dig up one cent.
We are not sure but that the pass also provides that
peanuts and lemonade shall be furnished him. Just
think of this! Why, in this day and time
it must be a real pleasure to be president. There
is something to it. As we said before, just think —
but what’s the use? It simply requires the imagi
nation to get the whole vision of what that pass
means.
•5
There is a story extant which tells of a very
successful politician in the rural districts of a South
ern State, who attributed his success to the fact
that he could not write, and hence none of his po
litical enemies could come forward with his letters
on various issues. Perhaps the most interesting
letters in a sense are the love letters which are made
public now and then in breach of promise proceed
ings. Read in the cold, gray dawn of the morning
after, as it were, they are strong evidence ~f how
successfully people of good sense in other directions
can act the fool. The newspapers have recently
been publishing the troubles of a gentleman who is
about to become the defendant in a breach of prom
ise suit. His letters, as given out to the sympathetic
reporters by the lady in the case, are remarkable
documents in their way. The lady resided in an
other state, and after admiration had grown into
love and the engagement was entered into, he wrote
her quite a number of letters, suggesting that she
secure a position in his city, and being thus equip
ped to assist in providing for the expenses of house
keeping. they would join their fortunes for weal or
woe. The business side was thus kept in mind; and
the devotional came in for attention as well; each
letter abounding in prayers that the lady secure the
desired position; that she be guarded and protected
in her outgoings and her incomings; etc, etc. But
after a time something struck the romance like a
blighting frost, and the cruel, prosaic machinery
of the courts will probably be resorted to. Evi
dently the gentleman’s prayers, for some reason,
went astray. The line was busy or the current was
ATLANTA, GA., MAY 30, 1907.
Sy A. E. RAMS AUK, Managing Editor.
off, mayhap. There are several morals in this story
which can so easily be found that we will not linger
to specify them in detail. We started out to say
that there should be some decision by our courts
determining just how much latitude a lovesick
swain is entitled to in his epistolary statements,
before he shall bo considered to have crossed over
into the danger zone. Sometimes very little things
cause trouble. We heard of a gentleman once who
wrote to a lady that he wished her and himself to
be “ co-equal, co-essential and co-eternal.” Just
what he meant is in some doubt, but a jury of good
men and true said that such talk as this was cal
culated to ensnare the affections of a trusting fe
male, and he had to dig up to settle damages.
The Dunkard National Conference met in Los
Angeles a few days ago, and among other resolu
tions offered for the consideration of the body
was the following: “We advise our members
against the wearing of neckties and fashionable
hats, yet we do not see our way clear to make
this a test of fellowship. At the same time we
urge our members to guard against giving offense,
according to Romans 1:19, and first Corinthians
10:32-34.” This resolution was rejected because it
was not strong enough. It is said to be possible
that a rule be made making the wearing of neckties
a bar to membership. We are reluctant at all times
to rush forward with comment on subjects about
which we are not fully advised. On the face of it, if
Dunkards and Dunkards’ women-folk are like ordi
nary folk, we can catch some gleam of wisdom in
the barring of fashionable hats, but cutting out neck
ties altogether seems to be going some. Now if they
would prescribe that members array themselves in
ties of solemn black, that would be conservative
and perhaps proper. There is no kind of doubt that
a gentleman looks somewhat as though he had come
away hurriedly when he appears in public without
covering of any kind whatsoever to vary the monot
ony of his shirt front. In our younger days, spent
amid truly rural environments, it was considered
perfectly propei for a gentleman with a flowing
board to dispense with the necktie. Tn fact, having
a beard as specified, it would have been esteemed
vulgarly ostentatious to add a tie. As a mattei of
fact the beard was a great institution. It relieved
of the necessity of purchasing neckwear —it made
the shirt’s term of usefulness longer; and best of
all, imparted a dignity to the wearer that far
transcended ordinary honors. So if the Dunkards
have long beards wo can see how they will manage;
without the beard it is hard lines.
** *.
We have more respect for the mother-in-law as
an institution than we have for anything w’e can
now’ think of, except the freedom of the press. We
never lose an opportunity to condemn any one w’ho
seeks to make a joke of the mother-in-law. We
cannot be sure that w’e have really accomplished
anything in our defensive crusade, but we do rejoice
in the consciousness of duty performed in so far
as'our abilities would permit. We confess also to
a fondness for the Irish. They are a generous, lov
able people and not their least charm is their unfail
ing gift of wit. But we now have to confess that we
are disappointed in at least one member of that
race. We have read in a contemporary of an Irish
man, just over from old Erin, who walked into an
undertaking establishment in Philadelphia and asked
for the proprietor. When that personage appeared,
Pat asked: “What is the badge of a death in the
family in this country?” “Well,” said the under
taker, “when your mother or wife dies you wear a
wide black band around your arm or hat. If it is
a son or daughter you should wear a smaller band. ’ ’
“Sure and give me a shoestring,” said the mourn
ing Irishman, as he fumbled in his pocket for a coin;
“me mother-in-law has just died.”
It It
The recent action of the Evangelical Ministers’
Association of Atlanta, Georgia, in abandoning
the belief in the total depravity of human nature as
being essential to membership in that body, has
aroused much interest and discussion. A correspond
ent writing to a daily paper of this city, says,
among other things: “We grab what is in sight.
Religion has a bright side, but not in a worldly
sense. The church has built up its social side to the
actual detriment of its religion. Give us pastors
whose visage rather suggests the grave yard than
the ball room. We live in a rush and hell has be
come a chimera.
“What do we believe, and will stick to, any
way ?
“The best friend any man ever had was the one
who made him believe he’d go to hell should he
die. If religion is anything, it is everything in the
final round up.”
In tliis connection, we are reminded that this al
ways interesting subject of a state of suffering
awaiting the sinner, was approached in the proper
way by an exhorter whose views are printed in a
contemporary magazine. He started out by telling
his hearers just how long they would have to suffer
should they be turned away with the lost. He
said: “Eternity is forever and forever, and five
or six everlastings on top of that. Why, brothers
and sisters, after millions and billions of centuries
had rolled away in eternity, it would still be a
hundred thousand years to breakfast time.” Even
this most praiseworthy effort to give a realizing
sense of the length of eternity was outdone by a
colored minister of whom we read. He was denounc
ing the sinner contingent of his congregation, and
as a warning, told them: “Why, my poor, sinful
friends, Hell is going to last a long time. Suppose
an English sparrow would take a drop of water out
of the Pacific Ocean and hop one hop a day till he
dropped it into the Atlantic Ocean, and then hopped
a hop a day back for the second drop, and so on till
he had the Pacific dry; why, even then, it wouldn’t
be sun-up in Hell!”
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