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VOLUMT. TWO
‘KU/f'BE'R FORTY-OTIE.
WHAT WE THINK OF WHAT WE SEE
Professor Woodrow Wilson said recently: “As
soon as President Roosevelt thinks, he talks.” He
must do bis thinking while he sleeps, so as to be
ready for the talking next day.
n m
The newspapers contain notices to the effect that
“ Washington is filling up in anticipation of Con
gress.” We presume the natives are trying to beat
the lawmakers to it for fear the supply won’t go
all the way round.
The Progressive Farmer (Raleigh, N. C.) is giv
ing especial attention to hog raising. It makes a
statement in the last issue that is very startling,
namely: “It is not so important what kind of an
cestors you had as it is what kind your hogs had.”
That sounds real anarchistic.
* H
Mr. James J. Hill, who is regarded as something
of a financier, says that it is time for the whole
country to “sober down.” There are a number of
states in the South where the citizens are sched
uled to sober up in a few weeks. It is to be hoped
that sobriety can be reached in both directions.
Punch tells of a Scotch minister who is wondering
whether his sexton intended to compliment him on a
certain occasion. The minister had been away
on his vacation. Upon his return he asked the sex
ton how all had gone in his absence. “Very well,
indeed,” was the cheering response. “They do say
that most meenisters leave some one worse than
themselves to fill the pulpit when they go away—
but you never do that, Sir.”
It is certainly remarkable how far afield some
people will go to knock a great and good man. It
has been asserted that the prime cause for the
high price of provisions is the endless procession
of Bryan dinners. Well, there is one thing certain,
no rank outsider has yet slipped in and ordered
cocktails for the crowd as was done for Buttermilk
Charlie.
it n
Great applause was given to Earl Barnes, a mar
ried man, the other day, when in a speech before a
mothers’ congress partly composed of maiden ladies,
he said: “Statistics prove that the criminals of
the world are generally those who are not mar
ried.” The ladies rejoicing in this blow handed out
to bachelors forgot the old saying that “There are
lies —lies and statistics.” In addition to the fact
that the crimes of unmarried males under the age of
about (twenty-five cannot be chargeable to the
bachelor class, there is a long list of crimes that
bachelors, with all their imperfections, cannot com
mit; such, for instance, as wife beating, wife mur
der, desertion, bigamy, cursing a father-in-law,
A. ’JANTA, GA., DECEMBER 5, 1907.
Sy A. E. XAJVSAUR, .Managing Editor.
cruelly and inhumanly treating a mother-in-law,
and a lot more terrible things. The whole truth
of the matter is that the balance is preserved by
the good and firm mothers-in-law of our land. There
is no doubt that man, in his natural state, is totally
depraved. Left alone, he would probably go through
the world killing and laying waste to his heart’s
content, swelling the long list of crimes charge
able to the unmarried; but let him once come under
the guidance of a careful mother-in-law and he
settles down and devotes his attention to being a
good citizen. The unmarried should not be blamed;
they are to be pitied.
It •?
Much is said relative to the bad condition of some
of the roadbeds of the Georgia railroads. A story
is told which illustrates the condition of a certain
road. A tourist in the dining car had given an
order for fried eggs. “Can’t give yo’ fried eggs,
boss,” the negro waiter informed him, “lessen yo’
want to wait till we stops.” “Why, how is that?”
asked the tourist. “Well, de cook he says de
road’s so rough dat ebery time he tries to fry
eggs dey scrambles.”
* M
We suggest that the following notice as published
in a Siamese newspaper contains valuable sugges
tions to all papers wishing to win subscribers:
“The news of English we tell the latest. Writ in
perfectly style and most earliest. Do a murder git
commit, we hear of and tell it. Do a mighty chief
die, we publish it, and in borders of sombre. Staff
has each one been college, and write like the Kip
pling and the Dickens. We circle every town and
extortionate not, for advertisements. Buy it. Buy
it. Tell each of you its greatness for good. Ready
on Friday. Number one.”
* »
We have often and often wondered just how
many pins are used in the United States every
year. We have tried to calculate how many were
used per month; how many were lost per week,
whether more pins were used in Summer than in
Winter; how many fingers were pricked during the
month of November; how much profanity is trace
able to pins alone, etc. It is very interesting. Now
our dear, good Census Bureau has figured it all
out. We should be grateful for the many ways in
which our government ministers to our wants and
supplies our thirst for information. Thus we
know that in the year 1905 one hundred and thirty
three million gross of pins, nineteen billion pins,
were manufactured in this country. That is 225
pins for every man, woman and child in this coun
try. These figures cover only the common or gar
den variety of pin. The hair pins, safety pins
and imported pins are not included. And that
brings up another question; what went with all of
them? We have not had our 225 by a long shot.
We don’t recall that during the whole year 1905
we had more than seven or eight pins, and most
of them we received when we didn’t want a pin at
all. Other times when we needed a pin and
would have paid handsomely for it, there was not
one to be had. So this is a point that must be
attended to. Just think of it; right at the time
when we were suffering dire need of one Httle pin,
there had been manufactured 19,000,000,000 inches
of pins, 1,600,000,000 feet of pins, 320,000 miles of
pins; pins enough if laid end to end o reach around
the world thirteen times, pins enough to make a
hundred-strand cable between New York and Liv
erpool. And after all that, we didn’t get our share.
Some time we will be able to discover where are the
pins of yesteryear.
•t •?
A recent news item tells of two little boys of
about seven and nine years of age, being found wan
dering around in Central Park, New York, without
any apparent notion of where they were or where
they wanted to go. A policeman carried them to the
station and placed them in charge of the station
sergeant. He was a large, fatherly kind of man,
and seemed to win the confidence of the boys and
got them finally to talking. The older one was
spokesman. The sergeant got around to asking
them their names, where they came from, etc., The
boy said:
“We live in the country, and w T e have run away
from home.”
The sergeant waited patiently and asked him to
proceed.
“Well, it was this way: we had a pig at our
house and it died and we ate pork for three .
weeks. ’ ’
“Go on,” said the sergeant.
“Then we had a cow and she died and we ate
beef for six weeks.”
“Well, go on,” said the sergeant again.
A look of horror began to overspread the boy’s
countenance, and he said in an awed voice: “Then
our grandma died and we ran away!”
n it
We find the following in the New York Suns
“We cannot but think that Governor Hughes must
presently find himself seriously embarrassed by his
organ in this town. It is not that it is so badly
written or that its rhetoric is as vulgar as it is
passionate, but that its vice of mendacity is so
wholly devoid of cultivation or intelligent direction.
A little organ is a dangerous thing.” Now we do
wonder if The Sun intends to say that its contem
porary doesn’t know how to lie to advantage? We
have been puzzling over that for quite awhile.
Surely, surely, such is not the meaning of those
sweet and graceful phrases.
TWO DOLLARS A YEAR.
FIVE CENTS A COPY.