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VOLUME TWO
r FO XT Y-TW O .
WHAT WE THINK OF WHAT WE SEE
Now Santa Claus so jolly
Upon us starts to move,
The only stocking hoarder
Os whom we all approve.
Just Before Christinas.
“Mary had a little hint,
What she would like, you know,
And everywhere that Mary went
The hint was sure to go.”
A news item states that “Too many dresses” was
the cause of one actress’ nervous breakdown. The
same thing has been the cause of many a hubby’s
financial breakdown.
it it
An Eastern physician says that he has attended
300,000 lectures during his lifetime. His wife must
be as great a talker as Mr. Bryan.
* M
We extend a cordial welcome to a contemporary
recently launched in Washington, D. C., The Con
gressional Record. It bids fair to become one of the
leading home publications of the day.
it it
The janitor of a certain apartment building in
New York City says that he is haunted by the ghost
of a recently deceased tenant who constantly de
mands more heat. This should certainly be com
forting to the family of the departed.
•t it
The new Fall serial announced by The Congres
sional Record is “My Message,” by Theodore
Roosevelt. It is said to be thrilling in plot, force
ful in style and plenteous in language. It will
run through several numbers. The rights of dram
atization are reserved by the author and The Con
gressional Record Publishing Company.
H It
A Western man recently committed suicide be
cause he had not, according to a message he left,
had anything in thirty-six years to be thankful for.
He would doubtless be mighty thankful now if he
could just get back to add another spell of waiting
for the good things to come his way. Such impa
tience is shameful.
It It
The use of slang phrases is becoming very preva
lent. So much so that old-fashioned people can
hardly determine just what is meant by certain ex
pressions which have become almost as reputable
parts of our language as though they had been char
ter members at its first organization. As an illus
tration, what could be better than this:
“What salary do you want?” asked the prospect
ive employer.
“Twelve dollars per,” answered the applicant.
“Per week, per month, or perhaps?”
ATLANTA, GA., DECEMBER 12, 1907.
Sy A. E. “RAMSALTR, Manatini “Editor.
Persons wishing to secure large, handsome mir
rors, heavy oak chairs and tables and those pretty
little glass and decanter sets can secure the same
at a bargain on and after the first of January, in
Atlanta, Georgia, U. S. A. That kind of furni
ture will not be of service after the change of style
occurs in certain places of business beginning with
the new year.
h n
The London Chronicle is a very severe critic of
the President’s message. It says that the length of
the document is not atoned for by boldness of con
ception or originality of ideas. It further remarks
that “what is new and suggestive is a mere rivulet
meandering through and ultimately swallowed in
an arid desert of words.” Those English people
certainly are hard propositions. We don’t wonder
that our folks moved away to this country a long
time ago.
* H
The Superintendent of the Southern Pacific din
ing car service recently received the following let
ter of resignation sent in to him by a Japanese
waiter boy:
“My Dear Great Man Boss: I beg to you that
I am absent today and I am thanking for your great
kindness. But I have necessary to desire that to
resign with my business because I had sickness on
hand. Your faithfully. M. Fujiyama.”
That is a very highly finished piece of Japanned
English.
*
They say that! this is the way a young lady sent
off a telegram at an office in one of our Southern
cities:
She sailed into the telegraph office and rapped on
the counter. The clerk remembered that she had
been there about ten minutes before as he came for
ward to meet her. He wondered what she wanted
this time.
“Oh,” she said, “let me have that telegram I
wrote just now; I forgot something very important.
I wanted to underscore 1 perfectly lovely’ in ac
knowledging the receipt of that bracelet. Will it
cost anything extra?”
“No, ma’am,” said the clerk, as he handed her
the message.
The young lady drew two heavy lines beneath the
words and said:
“It’s awfully good of you to let me do that.
It will please Charley so much.”
“Don’t mention it,” said the clerk. “If you
would like it, I will put a few drops of violet ex
tract on the telegram at the same rates.”
“Oh, thank you, sir. You don’t know how much
I would appreciate it. I’m going to send all my
telegrams through this office, you are so obliging.”
And the smile she gave him would have done any
one good, with the possible exception of Charley.
A South Dakota farmer has inserted the follow
ing advertisement in his home paper:
“Wanted —A man to plow. Will furnish riding
plow with canopy top. I will feed, harness, hitch
and unhitch horses, and carry breakfast to him in
bed. If water does not agree with him, will get
something that will. Will furnish team and buggy
to drive evenings and Sundays. Should he .prefer
an automobile, will buy him one.”
Farm labor seems to be pretty scarce out that
way; just as kitchen help is here. And the situa
tion is going to remain unchanged so far as cooks
are concerned, until the people learn to treat them
with more consideration. They should be given
more days off, should have the parlor evenings,
should be allowed to take music lessons on the fam
ily piano, should be invited in to meet visitors, and
should not be humiliated by being treated with any
less consideration than the daughters of the family.
Kindness and considerateness will solve the prob
lem.
« l?
Every neighborhood has its weather prophet.
Each of us can recall with vivid distinctness the
patriarch of our particular community who pre
dicted drouths, freshets, early Winters, late Springs,
etc., and the faith he seemed to place in certain
weather signs. One of the characteristics peculiar
to each was the belief which they finally grew to
hold that Providence having once permitted itself
to hang out a certain weather sign, just could not
change the weather menu at all. It was inevitable
that the signs make good. This is well illustrated
by the following anecdote of a White Mountain
prophet who was possessed of honor in his own
country: A city man who was spending his vacation
in the White Mountains was planning a certain
trip on his motor cycle, but the morning on which
he had been intending to start was so gray and over
cast that he felt some hesitation about setting out.
He was trying to persuade himself out of this feel
ing, even though his better judgment was against
him. The mountains were veiled in wreaths of
mist and cloud that had settled down almost to
their bases. He was getting his wheel ready, when
one of the nearby farmers came up and watched
him.
“I s’pose ye don’t mind gettin’ some wet,” he
finally insinuated.
“Oh, I don’t believe it’s going to rain,” answered
the optimist, jauntily. “It looks a bit threatening
but I think it will clear up by noon, so I’m going
to start.”
The farmer was silent a moment, then he pointed
solemnly toward the clouds, which had entirely shut
out from view the mighty mountain four miles
away.
“Young man,” he said impressively as he point
ed, “look thar. When the cloud settles doyvn over
Kearsage God A’mighty couldn’t stop the rain!”
TWO DOLL AUS A YEAR.
FIVE CENTS A COPY.