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HINTS tnON HISTORY:
Sy A. H. 'Ellett.
“Hast thou seen the treasures of the hail?” Job
38:22.
T hailed here in Blue Mountain last
night. An uncommon thing, isn’t it,
for December? Uncommon things hap
pen, though, when the causes operate.
The infidel scientist who believes in the
uniformity of law is nearer God than
he thinks he is. A girl handed me one
of the hail stones. (She first offered to
drop it down my collar, but I declined,
I
then she handed it to me.) Here was an ounce of
hydrogen and oxygen. Where had it come from?
When was it born? Where was it going?
I know hail stones haven’t a special reputation
for courtesy. But there are a lot of people who
are better than their reputation. Some of them
are really hungering to prove it.
I thought I’d put my question, anyway, and if
I were snubbed I wouldn’t let on. I’d just keep
quiet and the folks wouldn’t find it out on me. I
think that’s good pedagogy.
Coming on down to my room, then, I said, as
civilly as I could, “Mr. Hailstone, would you
mind telling me something of your history?”
“Be dee-lighted.” (Up-to-date hailstone, thought
I.)
“Why, to tell you the truth, there are a number
of us here. Ourselves and our wives. My name,
sir, is Mr. Oxygen. I, sir, and each of my brothers
living in this state, are married. We have two
wives apiece. I know it is against the Edmunds
Bill, but we are not naturalized. We are strictly
cosmopolitan. Do you know where I met my wives?
I had the distinguished honor of being one of the
first atoms of oxygen that filled the lungs of Adam.
In the capillaries of Adam’s body I first met my
wives, the Misses Hydrogen. It was love at first
sight. We were there and then united, and we have
been on our honeymoon ever since. I had been
a bachelor for a long time before that, and did
well enough in my way, I suppose, but I didn’t
weigh much.”
I saw he was disposed to be facetious, but 1
thought none the less of him for that. I have
known some semi-idiots who were mighty solemn.
Said he, “If you are going to base your pedi
gree on the age of it, we are all right. We are a
good deal older than Adam. You know, it was in
the evening that Adam breathed us in. We were
breathed out in time to come together on the grass
blades before day next morning, and there we were,
the first dew drops that Adam saw in Eden. We
were wearing our wedding diamonds. We still have
them.
“Have you read that account in Genesis that
tells about the flood? We were in it. That’s the
nearest we’ve ever come to having it all our own
way.
“Remember that bottle of water Hagar brought
back to Ishmael under one of the shrubs? We
were in the bottle. That boy was nearly dead when
we reached him. In fact, had we not reached him
as soon as we did, a large page would have been
left out of history. Mahomet would not have mar
ried the widow; the Koran would not have appear
ed; the Saracens would not have been there to
stand the Christians off from the sepulcher —Mr.
Creacy would have been left with only fourteen
battles —the battle of Tours would not have been in
the list. Charles Martel, therefore, would have had
no opportunity to use his hammer, and make a
reputation, so as to give his little son Pepin a
chance; so he in turn could give Charlemagne a
start, so that he in turn might drive the Saracens
back across the Ebro. But my, my! lam running
in a circle. Anyway, you can see if we had not
saved Ishmael things would have been different.
That is, of course, if the Arabs were descendants
of Ishmael, which they say is in no way certain.
We might have known for certain about it if we
had stayed in Arabia, but we found it a lonesome
sort of place. Sometimes you might travel for
davs without seeing any of your kind. It was too
The Goldeii Age for December 19, 1907.
dry for us. We came back by aerial navigation in
time to be in the well, La-hai-roi, when Jacob came
to draw a bucket to make that pottage he bought
Esau’s birthright with. And do you know that as
soon as Esau had swallowed us he hurried off and
found the daughter of Ishmael and married her?
It began to look like we would not be able to get
away from that branch of Abraham’s family. By
the way, have you noticed hoW certain old traits of
the grandfather will bob up in the grandson? We
have noticed it, and indeed have had a good deal
to do with it, because we haVe often been present
in each of them when the bobbing occurred.
“Did you read that story of Moses leading
the children of Israel out of Egypt? Yriu will ire
member that members of our family cut a pretty
big figure in the narrative. We ourselves were not
present on all occasions, of course, but we were at
Marah. I am a little bit ashamed to confess this
part of it, but they say ‘an honest confession is
good for the soul.’ At Marali was the first place
that ahy bitterness had occurred in the family.
You will remember that Moses healed it by giving
us a brushing. We were sweet after that. How
do you think it -would do to substitute that proc
ess instead of the divorce courts? We were not
concerned in the incident at Meribah, and I have al
ways been rather glad of it.
“We have had Very intimate experience
with the great Warriors. There is something at
tractive about a warrior. I suppose that is the
reason mankind has always acted the fool about
him. We just happened to be on hand that night
in time to get on the fleece that Gideon spread out.
He wrung us out in the bowl next morning
There is something especially gratifying in the con
sciousness that you are essential to the happiness
of some oile —particularly so, if that some one is
strong and self-reliant, ordinarily. Like it was with
Samson, for instance. Do you remember how he
cried for us on one occasion? Just after he had
killed one thousand Philistines single-handed? He
cried like a child for us, just as your great Caesar
did two thousand years later when he had that
fever in Spain. Yes, sir.
“ ‘That tongue of his that bade the Romans
Mark him, and write his speeches in their books,
Alas, it cried “Give me some drink, Titinius.”
As a sick girl.’
“We could tell you many stories of our military
life, but the fact is, we do not care to let our mem
ory dwell upon it. We have too often heard the
heartrending cries of the poor, wounded fellows on
the field of battle. Your books record the glory;
they do not utter the groans. To be sure, an in
cident like that when Sir Philip Sidney, at Zutphen,
himself wounded unto death, passed the cup from
his own lips to those of the dying soldier beside
him —an act like that serves to illumine the dark
ness of centuries of selfishness and pain, but acts
like that are too rare. Besides, with all the hero
ism of it, it was impotent to save either Sidney or
the other soldier.
“Now, we were concerned in a little episode with
a great captain once which we really enjoyed. I
refer to the case of Naaman, the Syrian. We hap
pened to be passing down the Jordan that day and
came up with him just as he was dipping himself
the seventh time. I understand a girl sent him
there. By the way, do you not think the women
could abolish war if they would try?
“But this incident with Naaman makes me think
of my experience with hydropathy generally. I’ll
tell you about it when we get to your room.”
« *
The Sunday Closing Lalvs.
Among the symptoms of awakening public con
science is the widespread demand that people be
have themselves on Sunday.
The Baptist Commonwealth, of Philadelphia, has
a very timely and judicial discussion of the Sun
day baseball and dancing at League Island Navy
Yard. It says franklv that the navv yard belongs
to Uncle Sam, is his private grounds, and that if
the keeprs of the grounds want to play ball or
dance on Sunday, they have the right to do
it. „ So far as those specific acts are concerned no
complaint will lie. But a man has no right to
maintain a nuisance on his private grounds, or to
disturb the peace and quiet of the community by
keeping a disorderly house, though the roof may
shelter his own family. The commandant of the
navy yard may protest that the sailors have a right
to their amusements. But people outside have the
right to enjoy a quiet Sabbath. The Commonwealth
closes with this:
“It is riot only the recreation of the sailors that
must be considered, but the general good of the
city. If public games and theaters and open stores,
a general wide-open Sunday, is best, let us have
that; but inasmuch as that is not the sentiment of
Philadelphia, or these parts, it is neither just riot
kind for the commandant of League Island, Or ahy
other navy yard, to try to break the spirit, if riot
the letter, of our law, arid thrust upon us what the
State has said we do riot want. There is rio na
tional Sunday law, but we believe it to be bad
morals, bad law and bad manners for the United
States government, on its reservations, to do those
things that offend the State in which the reservation
is located, though that offense may please a ma
jority of the sailors and a good percentage of the
public.”
In this connection we note that in a spasin of
righteousness the police of New York City enforced
for one day the law requiring business houses arid
recreation places to close on Sunday. The riews
dispatches speak of the effort with a sneer. Ehit
they need not sneer. This thing is not a mere freak
of morality. It is a symptom of awakened con
science, and the Suriday business in the United
States is going to be confined to work of necessity,
religion and charity, and New York City will, ere
long, be closing up the unlawful places, even if the
present city government should abandon the ex
periment just made.
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