Newspaper Page Text
Wednesday, December 6,2023
Fayette County News A3
In Memoriam: A Guide to Processing Grief During the Holidays
Submitted
Leah Banks
Senior Reporter
leah@fayette-news.net
The holiday season is
meant to be a time of good
cheer, but for many who
are grappling with the loss
of a loved one, it may be a
time of remembrance of
days past. For Jason Tut
tle, the idea of grief and
loss is all too familiar.
Tuttle lived in Fayette
County from 2000 to 2007
and taught in Fayette
County from 2002-2011.
He and his wife Jennifer
had two children, Zachary
and Samantha, both with
special needs. Jason’s life
took a turn when his family
suddenly and unexpectedly
lost their 15-year-old son
Zachary on Jan. 28, 2022.
“My son was born with
Eagle-Barrett Syndrome
(AKA ‘Prune Belly’), which
is a rare condition, severe
neurological developmen
tal delays, epilepsy/sei
zures, was nonverbal,
could walk with assistance
but needed his wheelchair
98 percent of the time, and
at the time of his passing
was going through more
genetic testing because
they thought he might
have ANOTHER rare con
dition (rare to the point he
was going to be case
number one),” Jason said.
The sudden death of
Zachary led to Jason be
ginning his path toward
healing and processing the
changes by sharing his
story through his Facebook
blog called “Letters to Za
chary,” which he says
chronicles his grief journey
as he navigates life without
Zachary in hopes of shar
ing the viewpoints of grief
and loss from the eyes of a
father.
Throughout the jour
ney, Jason says he recog
nized that men are the
lesser percentage of people
to share their feelings
about grief, loss, and
death. Through his Face-
book blog, Jason chron
icles each thought he has
had since the death of Za
chary, allowing vulnerabil
ity to take shape and
become a norm for many
men and women who may
be able to relate to his sen
timents.
“If there’s a stereotype
of gender, then typically
the women would open up
more than the men would,”
Jason said. “That’s what I
run into. So, I get into
these groups to kind of say,
in this day and age, with all
of the mental health issues
and things you see on TV,
outside of the fact of what
suppressing this will do to
you physically, whether its
stress or just wear and tear,
I get in there and say, ‘You
need to get it out’.”
Last week, Jason took
to his blog to write about
the holiday season and
grief as it relates to his per
sonal feelings and his jour
ney.
As the world enters the
holiday season, many
people will be in a similar
position to Jason, taking
time to not only process
the loss of a loved one, but
attempting to understand
how to navigate a season
that is meant to embrace
familiar traditions and rit
uals.
According to Dr. Su
zanne Degges-White,
Ph.D., a licensed coun
selor, grieving a loved one
during the holidays is a
feeling that can be signifi
cantly challenging, partly
because the person’s ab
sence forever changes
longstanding rituals.
“In life, rituals provide
a sense of direction, stabil
ity, and an anchor for us as
we move through the year.
We may not realize how
much we enjoy the rituals
in our lives until some
thing happens to disrupt
their occurrence or shift
the composition of the
group with whom we cele
brate or mark them,”
Degges-White said.
“Family dinners, car
pooling, holiday gift-giv
ing, special desserts, and
so on may all play a signif
icant role in the shape of
our lives. When someone is
missing, we mourn their
absence at an event, but
also recognize that the rit
ual and celebration has in-
alterably changed, as well.”
There are multiple
methods that Degges-
White suggests to assist in
celebrating the holiday
season while also process
ing grief and its stages, in
cluding shared laughter.
“Having a laugh can be
a great way to cope with
our loss physically and
mentally,” Degges-White
said. “Mourning doesn’t
follow just one path, but
grief should never be seen
as an endpoint in itself - we
may work through grief
and carry our grief with us
somewhere in our hearts,
but grief is not a destina
tion.”
Other tips that Degges-
White suggested to cope
with grief include allowing
oneself space to acknowl
edge any losses, despair, or
hurt one is feeling, sharing
feelings with others who
Zachary and Samantha Tuttle.
care - make it OK for the
one hurting and for them
to talk about the person
who is no longer there, and
seeking professional help if
a person feels over
whelmed and unable to
manage on their own.
Do not turn to un
healthy self-soothing be
haviors such as alcohol,
overeating, or other risky
behaviors.
For members of the
community that are endur
ing a similar journey as
Jason, both men and
women, he shares that he
wants members of the
community to know that
they are not alone, and that
grief is not a one-size-fits-
all journey.
“My common state
ment is, ‘Grief Sucks’. It
really does,” Jason added.
“There’s no way around it.
It’s hard, it’s difficult, it
takes time. We, in the grief
community, say we don’t
get over it, we move for
ward from it, meaning it
will never go away. We
have to learn to live, right
now, with this scenario. It’s
learning how to adjust to
the waves of grief. It’s how
you get through it.”
Jason emphasizes that
his blog, Letters to Za
chary, is open to all
genders, races, and reli
gions, and that he encour
ages anyone who is in their
grief journey to interact in
the blog and through grief
groups.
HOLY TRINITY
CATHOLIC CHURCH
welcome konw.
Holy Trinity a vibrant
Catholic community
in Peachtree City, GA
invites and welcomes
you to our parish.
Thank you for being with
us this weekend as we
gather together at the
table of the Eucharist.
Saturday- 4:00p.m. and 5:30p.m.
Sunday- 7:15a.m., 10:30a.m.
12:15p.m., 1:45p.m. (Spanish)
and 4:30p.m. (Lifeteen)
HOLYTRINITYPTC.ORG
770-487-7672
101 WALT BANKS RD.
PEACHTREE CITY, GA 30269
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