Newspaper Page Text
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£ J
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THE RED AND
li / iMy
BLACK
VOL 2.
UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA, ATHENS, (.A., FEBRUARY 16, IM>5.
NO. 19
IF JULIUS C£$AR CAME TO THE U. OF G.’
What He Wou'd See and Do An Interesting
Story.
Nuniorou* articles have appeared of
late ainon^ the newspapers proposing
the most unique surmises, should cer
tain ones, ,\vho have departed this life
many years ago. rise from their ashes to
witness the wonderful meta
morphosis that has oi jurrcil since their
ancient existence.
If Julius Cn sat came to the U. of Ha.
is the fantastical theme which is pro
posed to he discussed in tlu following*
The writer proposes to acquaint Mr.
Caesar with the ways of college life, and
to lead him through all tin so red and
intricate paths of our college.
It is morning. Casar has t ntered the
campus gate. II<* gazes with unfeigned
astonishment upon the throng of hoys
that hurry on toward the chapel. Pres
cntly the hell gives forth its accustomed
toll, and Casar with great trepidation,
cries out: "Hark! What heir I? Has
some great victory or some direful ca
lamity occurred, or will some cowardly
attack he made upon our innocent
salves? Ilasic, give me my arms.*’ It is
with much trouble that 1 assure him
that lie is in no immediate danger; that
the tolling merely sm^^us us to our
nrayuH wlii' h occur iianv before «»ujt
college duties begin. After w • had
come from within the sacivd walls, I es
iorted him to “Yahoo," the “piiblba
domus,” as i explained it to him. We
had just cnteied the first room, when,
suddenly, Julius fell upon his knees,
raised his hands toward the celling and
in a suppliant tone began to pray. I
asked him the “causa actlonis,” and he
replied in solemn tones, that lie w as sup
plicating the statue of Venus, which
stood before him. in vain did I explain
to him that “the statue" was merely
the life-size portialt of some actress
who wished to display her beautiful fig
ure. I then left the “Yahoo," knowing
tl»..t if 1 remained with Mr. dinar to
examine the other rooms, lie would
s|H'iid the rest of his mortal life in
prayers.
We spent the remainder of the morn
ing in examining the different depart
ments, all of which pleased him very
much; hut tlia* which he admired most
was the biological laboratory, is he said
that resembled one of Ids battle fields
after the bloody struggle with the fero
• Toils I/imhaki
In the afternoon, Casar and I went
out on the grid-iron where a practice
foot ball game was l>eing played. “What
kind of animals arc those," said he,
“with such huge, aquiline noses and
such long loc ks." “They," said I, “las
long to the genus homo, and—" Before
I could finish, lie had dashed out among
the players, striking right and left and
causing much pain and consternation
among them. With extreme difficulty
did 1 finally persuade him that It was not
a gladiatorial contest nor a pitched bat
tle. but merely the dally past-time of
the hoys.
After cooling off his heated feeling
with a coca-cola which he said was much
inferior to the Bacchanalian fluid he was
wont to imbibe, we perambulated by
Lucy Cobh. “ Why," said he, “do you
have thsee sentinels? Is the place under
martial duty?" I explained to him that
the “sentinels" were “ Les Chevaliers
I>e La Rose Rouge,'* and that the huild
ing was inhabited by a number of beau
tlful maidens to whom the “Chevaliers’
sent candy and fruits, and who in return
received winsome smiles from the fail-
lasses. “What animals are they on tbe
portico ?" said he. “ Are they to be sa
critired to the gods?" I informed him
that they were known throughout the
civilized world as “the Lucy Cobb
Goats;” that they were figures placed
there to be painted annually a scarlet
line, variegated with a sombre black.
We then returned to my boarding
house, but at supper he refused to eat,
explaining afterwards that lie did not
wish to destroy the continuity of his
dental organs upon tlm unyielding vie
tu.ils given him.
After supper we went to my room, ac
companied by nine boys whose “sweep
ing" ability was the talk of the college.
At a liven signal, the light ceased to give
forth its radiant beam, and the atmos
phere begun to be filled with brooms,
pokers, books, base-balls, bats, Indian
clubs, bottles, boots, coal, chairs,trunks,
wardrobes and several sundry articles
w hose durability w as extremely marked.
Finally. 1 i< lit was restored *uid, to ! 1
behold ! Ca s u s cranium was swoollcn
three times Its normal siz.». He wanted
at once to display his pugnacious quali
ties. but 1 explain d to him that he had
just passed through the delightful fcel-
jing of a “sweep," and that the condi
tion of his head was another example of
the infallible rule, that “no two bodies i
can occupy the same portion of space at
the same time."
Tims closes a day spent by Julius (‘n»
sai at the U. of. («a His general opin
ion of our college was verv favorable,
but he said he preferred to remain where I
be was before lie came to this salubrious
clime.
HIGHER EDUCATION AND PAINTING GOATS.
The Athens University, the perennial
claimant that is regularly and promptly
before every legislature seeking for an
appropriation for “highereducation," is
hedged around about by a peck of tribula
tion. It is all about the Lucy Cobb goats
and a certain speech that a certain young
student delivered in a society contest for
a gold medal. He is from Atlanta, and
lie won the place for which he contested.
Then some jealous ones among the de
feated aspirants made the charge that
this young man’s speech was a plagiar
ism—that it was stolen substantially
from a speech delivered by another stu
dent some two years ago. This the
young man vehemently denied, and a
“board of honor," as they called it, wa*
appointed to look into the matter. This
“ board of honor" made some “findings"
and transmitted them to the Faculty of
the University. These “findings” con
sisUd in the statement that the two
Speeches favored each other very much.
The grave and reverend seignors of the
Faculty assembled in solemn conclave,
took the speeches, examined them from
every conceivable standpoint, read and
reread them through, turned them lieels-
upward and re aw l them sgaiu, and finadly
discovered tiiat they were remaakabiy
similar. They have not yet announced
their decision in the matter, but are saiid
to be strongly impressed with the idea
that, one Is a plagiarism of the other or
that both hio plagiarized from the saum
source. Both seem to have drawn lieav
ily upon the speeches of Alex. Stephens
and the Life of Robert Toombs.
Now, the Faculty shouldn't be too
hard on the boys. They expect them to
get up great speeches, full of statesman
ship and exalted thoughts an 1 patriotic
fervor. And bow are they going to do
this when their time is taken up playing
football in the summer and painting the
Lucy Cobh goats in the winter? They
can’t do It, of course ; at least a common
raw student can’t. No lie has got to ac
cumulate bis speech from some 'source
other than his own thinking machinery.
No give the boys a show, we say.
Along about the time (lie Faculty were
laboring over the prodigious problem of
the plagiarized speech they w« n* con
fronted with another question of equal
if not greater magnitude, which was the
painting of the goats at Lucy Cobb In
stitute by several of the students of the
Foil Rkd and Black.
••the beautiful snow.
MONDAY.
Falling, falling,
The beautiful snow,
Falling, falling,
Noilly and slow.
Falling alike on the quick and the dead/
f overing the wanderers uncovered head,
Covering the roofs of the high and the
low,
No democratic! The beautiful snow.
FRIDAY.
Thawing, thawing,
The beautiful snow,
Thawing, thawing,
So very slow »
Thawing alike on the eanipus and town,
Melting as slowly and still falling down,
Down from the roofs of tlm high and the
low.
It’s confounded slushy ! This beautiful
snow.
“Tin \VKAniKit Man." B.
^ iii
THE PICTURE IN MY HEART.
In each in in s soul there lives a dream
Lit by a woman’s eyes,
\\ hose glance is like a tender gleam
That thrills tiie evening skies.
Unlvejslty, which same students had
quietly reigned, I their tents ilk. u u , l(lr( „ im tlmt m , ver ,„ lllta
t"" ArabM * llu '“ B - «b west ... « ... I.ohdla,
S'. f Tint tlM r.. .' notily .mint,
particular* ,.f tl.ii. affair. W. I.avn't A pietur* .... ,t. walla,
learned li.iw many Kn it* were paint..I or
wli:>t color they w.ro paint..I or what
color they w.r. originally. In fa.t «...
hail never k..ppon.il they kept goats
alio.it thin InHtlti.tion, for of all thing*.
in tho world a gnat I* the leant Hi.ital.l.
an an embellishment of a female college
Hut that they hail Koala there, la not to In ea.h man'* heart there lloata a voice
oc.hni.il, for tho iliapat.h.a atat. that That apeaka to him alone,
the atu.l.nta painted them, ami how The vole. 1 of her, Ilia api.it'a choice,
eoi.l.l they paint them if they were not II. lo.ir* to call Ilia own.
there? | The dayaiiiny liaat... like the wind,
8o taking all tl.ea. thing* into .....aid <*r lag kill. anil... feet,
.ration we are convinced that tl.e one Son., day Ilia w.ind.ring heart al.all tin.I
I. ta my dream at midnight,
Vl.d It. the crowd.d mart.
That darling face
M III. g.ntlo grace—
T'li. picture in my heart !
thing needful al.m.t the State University
la higher education," with the State
to foot the hllta. Then the hoya eoi.l.l
make tho center roali.a with Irreaiatihle
energy anil paint the Lucy Cold, goat*
with an artiatle touch that would dia-
ar... crltlclain.
Latkk.—1Ve*l.ave juat learned that
the Faculty found a true hill agalnat the
young man—that the two apeechea were
too aiinilar to be accidental. The young A( ’"|
...a., proteata Ida innocence and ha* rc
fuaed the medal, which leave* the Facul-
ty a medal better off than they were lie-
fore. A* to tho goat*, they wore made
of 4Georgia marble and *tood in the front
yard. It I* *ai.l that *o many depre.hi'
tion* have lieen eommitted on tho pre
mia.'* of Lucy Cobb that the health of
the principal ia rapidly declining, and
eince the painting of the goat* ahe l.a*
aent in her reaignation.
“ Higher education” ia what these stu-
denta need.—Gainesville Kagle.
The f • <i he long* to meet.
V
I ■ I my ll.'.a.o at midnight,
Ira dear eyea ne’er depart.
<>h, where la ahe,
My bride to In.—
'fjhe picture in my heart?
Oh, aome 1 heart* range the wide world
through
And hh^o.gl. to find their mate,
some amid the darltnea* rue
That they have met too late ;
A wi*tful glance betray* to each
What neither darea to *igh ;
A wedded bond forl.ida the Npeecl.
That'a uttered by the eye.
It i» my dream at midnight,
It make* my pt.lae* atart.
4lb, Fate, be kind
And let me tfhd
Tl.e picture in my heart.
[ Exchange.
(Milieus—“I do hate to walk on tlieae | The undent* of tho University of
»lippery pavement*.” Cyni.ua—"Never Michigan are formingclt.h*,qualification
mind, old chap, there’s a good time coil, to ...enite ^hip of which I* that each »tu-
ing. There won’t be any Ice in the next dent shall allow Id* whlaker* to grow,
world.” And now Milieus Is wandering Tide le the meanest blow at the ■ud"
wl.at he meant. woman which l.a* yet been
UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA l.lilUAUUJ
Man lsckift cou.lc t ion
