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H»K** 4
Tlic lied and '.lack. Tuesday March *5 1979
^Perceptions
1
In receni years students have
grown very iax about marijuana
smoking Most people seem to
feel that if they aren't handling
larg? amounts cf pot or if they
aren't dealing in it that tney are
immune from any action by
police
Nothing could be further from
the truth as evidenced by an
arrest Tuesday of two University
students for possession of less
than one ounce of marijuana.
For having less than one ounce
Drug arrests
on them these girls have turned
over to the Clarke County Sheriff
and were later released on a $500
bond.
A $500 bond is steep but is
nothing compared to the cost
these girls must pay as they face
friends, relatives, and profes
sors. These girls, 18 and 19 year
olds, face an interruption of their
college careers and the stigma of
having been placed in jail
Last year University Police
said that they weren't going to
A
y
be cracking down on pot users
unless they suspected them of
being dealers. This arrest,
however, seems to directly
contradict that statement.
Most persons who use mari
juana. and many who don’t^view
marijuana as no more dangerous
than alcohol—an accepted drug
in our society.
We don't want to see this
isolated arrest become part of a
trend w’hich would advocate
crackdowns on pot users.
The problems with yankees
Chuck Westbrook
Many southerners have staled that
yankees are pompous, rude and ill
tempered Those believing this statement
are unquestionably correct Nothing is
more offensive to a self respecting
southerner than a loud mouthed yankee.
Chuck Westbrook is a freshman in the
School of Arts anil Sciences
Every southerner knows the character
istics of a typical yankee Yankees
always claim to be right in every
situation It doesn’t matter if the topic is
nuclear energy or the diameter of
Barbara Streisand s nostrils The Yankee
claims to know all This claim is
laughable because there are so mans
things about which yankr are ignorant.
Ask them about a president named
Jefferson and they will always mention
Thomas Jefferson. Any educated south
erner would know to first mention
Jefferson Davis
How can a person maintain he is
always correct when he doesn't know the
difference between a roly pol\ and a
d'Mkile bug’’ Yankees are ignorant that
they think hominy is music with chord
relations Speaking of hominy you will
never see a yankee eat grits without
choking Some will cheat and throw
sugar and jelly into the grit> hut they
still wince with each mouthful
Yankees are chain smokers usually
smoking tobacco, although man> of the
long haired yankees also smoke the
wicked weed (more commonly referred
to as marijuana > One chain smoker from
Morristown. New Jersey actually smokes
the metal links of chains We must be
careful not to blame all yankees for the
antics of New Jerseyites since New
Jersey is the perversion of the north.
Yankees already have enough flaws with
which to malign themselves without the
burden of New Jersey
One would not think >ankees are happy
in the land of magnolias and mint juleps
by listening to them talk They are
always exhalting the north and degrading
he south Their claims range from
superior night life to cleaner snow . Why
ire all ol these wailing northerners
remaining in the very conditions they
claim to hate'* I believe it may be due to
the JERK SYNDROME The jerk is that
northerner who complains without
reason In his home territory the yankee
complains of crime and pollution These
points are valid areas of concern and the
yankee seems rational to complain in this
situation.
However, if you take the yankee down
south, he must invent things about which
to complain. This is the Jerk Syndrome
As a matter of fact, the monicker,
"yankee.” originated from the Jerk
Syndrome. Jerk and yank are synonyms
which mean to pull or tug quickly. The
term "jerk’’ evolved to mean oaf.
"Yank'' was also used to mean oaf since
it was already so closely related lo
"jerk.” As transplanted northerners
proved what oafs they were, the word
"yank" evolved to mean northern jerks.
A radio program. JERK OF THE
NORTH, popularized the concept long
before the radio was invented.
Because they are jerks, yankees have
strange speech patterns. They say
"deesc”. "dose”. "dem'\ and "dat”.
They kid us about saying “y'all." I’d
much rather say "y’all" than “youse."
Y'all is a natural contraction of the
words "you” and "all ’ Where did the
word "youse” originate? For that
matter, where did yankees originate?
The obvious answer is "the north.”
However. 1 v ant to know how the yankee
cult was started Certainly the Indians
weren't running around in tweed breech
cloths or living in penthouse teepees The
Pilgrims never drove on a turnpike or
bragged about dropping in one Broadway
to see the latest play I guess yankees
were a mutant strain from Canada that
was so awful and strange that they were
ostracized from their homeland to the
northern wasteland ot America These
people immediately began building
skyscrapers and pouring asphalt on the
ground Prudent southerners said. "I
want none of that craziness down here.”
As a defensive measure. Mason Jarr and
Dixon "Dixie” Cupp constructed a wall of
glass and waxed cardboard called the
Mason-Dixon Line. If it had worked the
south would be yankee-free today.
The question still remains; how did the
yankees invade the land of goobers and
grits'.’ Though I hate to acknowledge it, I
fear a southerner imported the first
yankee. This northerner was probably
brought down south as a novelty. The
southerners marveled at the peculiarity
of their neighbors to the north. Soon
everyone wanted to observe yankees
They had become the pet rocks of the
eighteenth century This condition grew
worse when the yankees refused to leave
after their novelty had worn off Despite
southern efforts the yankees remained as
stubborn!) as crabgrass. The southern
states had to devise a plan to remove the
"damn yankees." They decided to create
a huge dump for their garbage. They
called it Florida and sent every available
yankee down there to live. The high
concentration of yankees is still there
today. Hindsight allows us to see the
wisdom in the decision to move the
yankees to Florida; otherwise every state
may have become a Mickey Mouse
operation. Luckily, only Florida suffered
that fate.
Although most of the yankees are in the
north or Florida, a few still exist
elsewhere I understand there is a
powerful tribe of yankees in Atlanta This
means that we southerners can never be
caught off guard. You can lessen that
threat by taking a yankee to lunch. By
feeding him collards. hog jowls, cracklin'
bread and grits you may be able to
remove his tendencies toward abnormal
behavior. At the very least you will be
able to see a yankee turn green. And for
once, he’ll be quiet
WTO w.
mc&?
We need people to
tell us how to think
Brian O'Shea
Next time you go shopping, don’t be
surprised if you see a sign like this one
on your favorite saccharin-sweetened
product:
Brian O'Shea is cit> editor of The Red
and Black
Warning: The Surgeon General has
determined that this product may be
hazardous to the health of laboratory
animals if consumed in large amounts
Fortunately, things have not gotten
that bad yet. but one can never tell. It
sometimes seems that the smarter the
scientific world gets, the less intelligence
they give us normal folk credit for.
I bought a coffee pot the other day and
for no extra charge the manufacturer
threw in a list of sage advice for all of us
amateur water boilers.
“Your hot pot and its cord should not
be used outdoors, immersed in liquid,
placed near a hot gas or electric burner
or placed in a heated oven." It certainly
is a good thing I decided to read the
instructions.
"Do not touch Hot Pot when it is hot
Use handle for lifting or carrying
"Your Hot Pot has a short cord as a
safety precaution If you must use a
longer cord set or extension cord, be
careful not to trip or become entangled in
the cord ." I guess I'm just not very
smart. Back where I come from, whole
families get together on Sunday
afternoon just to trip and get entangled in
their power cords
This coffee pot is no ordinary one. You
can also heat soup and things in it. but
the process is difficult "When pouring
liquids through spout, make certain cover
is locked securely into place Remove
cover when serving solid foods "
It makes you want to cry To think
there are people in this world who might
stand there all day trying to pour solid
food out the spout with the cover on. We
have plummetted to new lows in this
country
Recall last Christmas when the poor
little tyke fired a plastic missile into his
throat and almost suffocated Boy were
his parents mad. There were no warning
labels on the toy which said. "Caution;
Do not fire missile into throat as the
Surgeon General has determined it may
inhibit breathing "
Such a caution would have made all the
difference in the world If the kid had*
seen the warning, he would have known
not to try and kill himself that way
The cars that go on sale in 1980 should
carry this warning: "Caution: do not.
drop lit matches into gasoline tank” and
on the front bumper. "Do not lie under
wheels when car is rolling "
, It's about time the government got into
the act. After all people are stupid and*
need hundreds of bureaucrats to draw
high salaries and look after them.
The government should tell the people
how to operate their machines, what *
foods to eat so they won’t get cancer,
what kind of thoughts to think and
whatever else they can squeeze in. With
all of these stupid people running around. 9
it's good we have such nice bureaucrats
to look after them
THOUGHT FOR TIIE WEEK: Mod
ern man is suffering from a hardening of*
the oughteries"—Ogden Nash
PERSONAL: To the hat-nappers Your
ransom demand was too steep Try
again. •
Letters
‘Leave speed limits to the states’
TO TIIE EDITOR:
The 55 mph speed limit has been a
subject of considerable controversy since
it was made law in 1974, and rightfully
so. The state of Wyoming made a bold
attempt to repeal the law in their state,
but the boys in Washington quickly ended
that state's protest by threatening to cut
off some $15 million in federal highway
monies Now. they're telling Georgians
that it’s going to cost us between $12 and
$15 million if we don’t lower our average
highway speed from 59.7 mph to the legal
limit.
I say that the government agencies
responsible for gathering and supplying
highway statistics are throwing us
something of a curve. The major
argumtnt given for the 55 mph speed
limit is that it “saves lives.” An article in
the May. 1978 issue of Car and Driver
Magazine points out that a good deal of
statistical juggling has taken place to
support the argument that "55 saves
lives.”
For those argue that 55 saves gas. the
article also points out that the most
accurate government surveys show that
the reduction in the speed limit is
responsible for a maximum of one
percent in fuel savings This is such an
insignificant reduction in consumption,
an official from a major tire and rubber
company has stated that a one percent
increase in fuel economy can be gained
by increasing radial tire pressure from 24
to 26 psi on the average car.
On top of this, the actual demand for
gasoline has risen since 55 mph became
law.
I’d like to see the speed limit left up to
state governments. After all. we have
lived with the 55 mph speed limit long
enough to find out that it doesn’t
accomplish what it was meant to.
VINCE KEANE
‘ Blood drive
disappointing’
TO THE EDITOR:
The lack of participation in the recent
Red Cross blood drive at the University
is disappointing In the past, the
University has been the Georgia Red
Cross' largest supplier of blood donors in
the state However, the school failed to
live up to the Red Cross’ expectations
during the last blood drive
The failure of the blood drive presents
several consequences to us Lesser
amounts of donated blood such as that
supplied to the Red Cross lowers the ratio
of donated blood to sold blood This lower
ratio results in an overall supply of lower
quality blood The quality of Fold blood is
lower than that of donated blood because
a substantial number cf sellers of blood
are drawn from the population where
hepatitis is common The price paid to a
seller is incentive to withhold information
about hepatitis or other infections.
Whereas, a person donating blood has
less incentive to withhold information.
Because hepatitis is undetectable in the
blood, transfusion with blood containing
hepatitis can occur, thus allowing the
individual receiving the blood to contract
hepatitis.
A short supply of blood is another
consequence we must face. At times it is
very difficult for persons to get blood. It
is even more difficult for persons having
rare blood types In many cases blood
isn’t available when it is needed
A problem exists. The problem is that
of persons who do not give blood, receive
it the same as a person who does In a
sense, the person who gives the blood is
paying for the individual who doesn’t.
The nondonor receives the benefits of the
system without contributing to it.
We should all study the consequences
of not giving blood. There are many more
in addition to the few I have mentioned.
We should then ask ourselves if the time
that it takes to give blood is too much of
an inconvenience to stop us from
contributing to a system that could help
save our lives.
THOMAS G. CARTER
‘Moral confusion
in their lives’
TO THE EDITOR:
In the middle of an otherwise
irresponsible and morally repugnant
film—last weekend's Pretty Baby-was a
truly inspired and wholesome scene; the
young whore and a neighborhood cat
sharing a glass of milk
Oddly enought, this was the only scene
able to evoke any (considerable) signs
of disgust from the audience. Despite all
the groans of repulsion, not one drunken
voice shouted "Go for it” as Brook
Shields reached for the tainted glass
One wonders at this inverted morality
evident in some University students The
only conclusion; the moral confusion in
their lives is worse even than that of poor
Violet
JOHN RICHTER
‘Ignoring the
students’
TO THE EDITOR:
The SGA continuing in its role of
ignoring student demands I sat in at the
"swearing-in session” of the newly-elect
ed senate It was the first such meeting 1*
have attended at the University I was
appalled by the lack of order, confusion
and bickering that went on at this the
first meeting Ex senate Pres. Key*
denied the newly-elected SGA President
Mulherin the right to speak citing a lack
of time then proceeded to give a
ten-minute speech on not allowing the*
vote to interfere with friendships Key
went on to name some members of his
fraternity as sergeants-in-arms, for what
reason he declined to mention .
When Lynn Johnson was elected Senate
President, SGA President Mulherin asked
for her permission to speak She was*
about to grant this when a senator
Dbjected. Several voiced votes were
taken without a clear winner Senator
Greg Jocoy asked Pres Mulherin how*
long his speech would take. A
flabbergasted Mulherin said about a
minute and the vote turned in favor of his
speaking with still a few senators. Irwin*
included, against it.
The strangest move by this student
body all night occurred when they elected
Barry Irwin as Senate Vice-President
Sen. Irwin, a law student, was asked
before the voting took place what he*
would do with his salary? "I would keep
it,” he stated-the only candidate for a
senate office who openly admitted this all
night When questioned about the fact
that students had voted overwhelmingly
for the abolition of salaries, the senator
replied that he "represented the students
who had not voted.” After this brash,
ridiculous statement he was elected
Vice-President even after some students
had pleaded that a sensible, compromis
ing person must be elected since the V P
works very closely with the SGA
President
When asked later about abolition, Sen.
Irwin thought that most students didn't
really want to see SGA abolished and
the only reason Harold Mulherin was
elected by a 53 percent majority, the
student did not want to vote for Key
When asked why Mulherin lost the
Vice-presidential race by only a slight
margin, did the students have something
against Steve Caldwell’ Vice President o?
senate Irwin had no reply All in all, it
took this confused body of students three
hours to elect four officers who with the
possible exception of Lynn Johnson, seen?
to have never heard the term
compromise It seems that the SGA is
determined to fight to the bitter end
Hopefully, this will be soon in order l-r
put it out of its "misery."
It should be mandatory that University
students attend one of these meetings t<s
see why nothing of any consequence
could ever be accomplished for the
students by this "organization.”
JOCELYN McKEKVEK
m Red and c BlacK
Staff
Milor Hon* Dlugntima
tiecutise editor rathy M L*wi«
aiufrr FA Stamper
\4sertising Miugrr Charles Kuaaeii
<op> editors Scott Jacobs Gary Fnuw.
mnw Skinner
< ampos «
Oh•
r„u
tar Bn an O Shea
i edivoc Tammy Sava*
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