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Rage J
The Ked and Black, Friday. March JO, 1979
Perversions
A good solution
There are two persistent
problems which have plagued
the University community for
years—too little parking and too
little money. We've heard many
griping about these problems
and have come up with a solution
that should please everybody.
The idea is to tear down some of
the unnecessary schools on
campus and replace them with
parking lots. There would be
more room for cars and more
money for the other schools.
Now a sensible, clearly thought
through plan like this is bound to
offend some of the trouble
makers who write letters to this
paper In particular, we expect a
lot of response from those whose
schools would be eliminated. We
are ready to take flak about this
idea, however, because we
believe in the soundness of it.
We’re not suggesting schools
like Journalism be torn down
because that’s where all the
talent is and we certainly
wouldn’t tear down Agriculture
because that’s the school that
brings in the money. What we
propose is to do away with
buildings that have had con
demned signs hanging on them
for years, anyway.
Aderhold has definitely got to
be the first to go. Its box shape
and broken escalators have
turned off people for years.
The ROTC building is another
one whose time has come. There
is no war now in progress and it
seems a waste to just have it sit
there. Of course, should another
war arise we’ll take an entirely
different stand in our editorial
and blast the administration for
not having an ROTC Building.
The next logical one to go
would be the Public Safety
Building. Since there are going
to be ample parking spaces there
is no need for a campus police
department anymore. The few
people who do have to stay can
find offices in the Stegeman
dressing rooms.
The list can go on and on but
our smarter readers should see
the point by now. It’s time for
the administration to either stop
sitting around and do something
about these problems or let The
Red and Black run this campus.
It’s just hell
to work here
Dr. Horatio F. Thudhumper
Justin Gillis wrote a column that
appeared in The Red and Black the other
day that I would like to argue with. Mr.
Gillis painted a rosy picture of life at The
Red and Black in an effort to get writers
and reporters to work for him.
Everything he said was a bunch of bull.
We need you
Dr. Horatio F. Thudhumper is a
professor in the school of pre-natal care.
If you like what you see in
today’s paper and think you
would want to work with a crew
of people like this then you’re
invited to this Sunday's new
staffer meeting.
We’ll meet at 8 p.m. in our
offices in 309 Journalism. It’ll be
a chance for anyone who is
interested in writing, taking
pictures, or illustrating to come
by and talk to staff members
about how to get started.
If you have experience in
writing it helps but we’re not
going to turn away anybody who
wants to get started. After the
meeting there’ll be refreshments
so you get to know our staff
members on a more informal
basis.
The Red and Black, as most people
believe, is very clannish. If they don’t
like you, you don't get to work there. I
base my statements on my experiences
when I was a student at the University. I
got suckered into coming into The Red
and Black to work, because someone
convinced me that everyone there was
really nice.
But I, like anyone who responds to
Justin Gillis' column and goes to work for
this piece of trash, found the people
working at The Red and Black crass,
rude, obnoxious and uppity.
It is true that they stick together,
largely because no one in their right
mind would want to be seen with these
bores. The group is so tightly knit that no
one could possibly gel in. even if they did
want to.
When I tried to join the staff of The
Red and Black I was ignored, degraded
and totally humiliated by the egotistical
staff members And I fear Mr Gillis'
column may sucker others into this
messed-up existence The column was
probably written as part of a sadistic
ritual to torture unknowing freshmen
Besides all of the things I have
mentioned above, there are numerous
reasons why you shouldn't work at The
Red and Black. If you work (or this
paper, you have no time to study The
average Red and Black staffer is lucky to
graduate.
People working at The Red and Black
also develop a great fondness for
skipping classes. I’m sure many of you
have noticed one in one of your classes.
They’re easy to recognize, they're the
ones who show up once a week just to
make sure they are still on the roll
Letters
Also, people who work on this paper
have no social life. That's not to say they
would have a social life if they didn't
work here though, because most of them
wouldn't. There are few people who
would want to be seen socially with this
motley crew.
Another reason not to work for The Red
and Black (notice all the bad points) is
that most of the people who work here
feel they are very talented None of the
people who work here are very talented
Many people believe that The Red and
Black throws great parties These same
people probably believe it snows in
Hawaii every weekend Red and Black
parties are fine, if you like parties where
everyone either sits around and stares at
one another or talks about The Red and
Black.
This brings me to another point. Red
and Black people only talk about one
thing: The Red and Black
The reason I wrote this column was to
warn all the unsuspecting freshmen and
sophomores about The Red and Black
Do not be suckered in by Mr Gillis'
column. It's a lousy place to work.
••
‘I just hate letters that ramble on for no reason I can see’
TO THK EDITOR:
I am writing this letter to complain
about the number of letters your paper
prints which do nothing but ramble I can
not understand why you print these
letters that do nothing but ramble, except
to fill space These letters go on and on
and on and on about nothing significant
and 1 am tired of reading them, as I’m
sure others are So please quit printing
letters that ramble on. but make no point
whatsoever, or repeat the same point
over and over again Your efforts to rid
the paper of these rambling letters would
be appreciated
4 Thanks again
Gregg Joyboy’
It’s the greatest thing since the Ginsoo
knife!
Besides the neat picture on the front
it’s also good for picking locks and
cleaning dope. And it’s accepted at eight
Athens merchants.
Thanks Gregg!
TO TIIE EDITOR:
BARRY HOI LD
I think you should join me in giving a
big pat on the back to our campus
consumer saviour, Gregg Joyboy, for
bringing us the Stupid Buying Power
Card.
Yes the man mountain who brought us
the famous play. "Suppose they gave a
consumer conference and Nobody
Came." has done it again
A THANKFUL STUDENT CONSUMER
‘Just who
is dead? 5
TO THE EDITOR:
Fear and loathing
at Derby Day
Paul McCartney is dead Jim Morrison
is not Just thought you might want to
know.
ELVIS PRESLEV
‘I love
this paper’
I was standing on the side of Legion
Field when the drugs took hold What in
God's name was I doing in Athens.
Georgia" It all came back to me like the
cruel remembrance of an unfortunate
drug crazed incident
It was hazy but I had a vague
recollection of some three piece hip
capitalist New York editor screaming at
me over the phone that I had to be in
Athens. Georgia before Saturday Why
had I ever let that bimbo talk me into
this Had 1 really told him that I had
planned on attending all along"
But he was right about one thing There
was no way I was going to miss the
granddaddy of Southern debauchery,
affectionately known as "Degradation
Day " Yes sir. I had to be there for
Sigma Chi Derby Day.
Where else but Athens, Georgia, in the
lingering embers of the plantation South
could vou find 3000 drunken daughters of
the Confederacy gratefully humiliating
themselves to the obvious pleasure of
8000 inebriated sons of the Confederacy?
Evil Vibes and Bad Craziness all
around I had stationed myself by a beer
keg alternately drinking straight from
the tap and splashing beer on myself to
facilitate the tanning process
I had hired a journalism student—the
son of the President of a local bank—to
caddy my cooler of Wild Turkey. Cuervo.
Budweiser and grapefruits. The only
thing that really'worried me was my
rapidly diminishing supply of amyls.
I saw a division of seriously demented
sorority girls performing some act of
ritual bondage and degradation It looked
more and more like an obscene tribal rite
in the jungle of New Guinea A mind
wired by amyls, alcohol, and ether is not
ready to view 3000 sunburned, drunken
college girls roll in flour and sit in ice
water filled tubs.
When they started running around base
ball bats in circles and then ran around
the field like hamsters on peyote. I got a
bad case of the Fear
1 asked some burned out jock in a
vomit stained Izod when the frat boys in
Confederate uniforms would be riding
through on their white horses I must
have been babbling incoherently because
he began moving away very slowly 1 felt
myself slipping into unconsciousness
When 1 awoke at the Holiday Inn the
paint seemed to be dripping off the wall
I shielded my eyes against the glare of
the Southern sun which was creeping
through the shades What had I done with
those sunglasses" And I desperately
needed vitamin C.
Where had I passed out? It had to have
been in that dive called the Frog Pond
lounge I had tried to maintain as well as
possible but the army of poisonous toads
and malignant grasshoppers were
creeping closer I knew I would be
heading for a bad crash very soon
I had stopped sweating That was a bad
sign As long as 1 sweated, I knew the
poisons were being flushed from my
body
Why had I ever accepted this
assignment anyway?
that black stuff made my face break out
in these awful-looking zits. and yesterday
they started oozing and dripping this
disgusting yellow slimy stuff all over my
face and neck. Boy, it made me want to
die! All of my sorority sisters think I
have some weird kind of disease and they
keep pointing at me and making these
funny faces like they think I’m some kind
of leper or something and they said I’ll
have to move in with the Betas if I don’t
look better soon And when I try to
squeeze the pus outa those zits it splashes
all over the bathroom mirror and looks
real gross I try to make it go away by
rubbing all those stupid acne medicines
that you hear about on the radio, but they
just make my face real slippery and I
smell like I was just disinfected in a
hospital some place Today flies started
swarming all around me and landing on
my face and they wouldn't go away so I
slapped and squished them and then all
these fly guts were smeared on my face!
Boy, was I a mess! To try to make me
look better I tried wiping my face off in
today's copy of the paper, and it made
my face look even worse But did 1 have
some fun! I stuck the copy of the paper I
wiped my face off in back in the stack of
papers near the English building so some
poor clod will have to put up with all this
gross stuff I had to go through!
Well, it just goes to show you, it's
always something.
TO TIIE EDITOR:
JOANN JOANNADANNA
I would like to commend The Red and
Black for a job well done. While many
complain about it, I feel The Red and
Black does an outstanding job and
deserves to be praised as one of the best
newspapers in this country.
‘Lets stop
the opinion’
JOE SMITH
B*ock No. 17
Milledgeville
TO THE EDITOR:
‘This letter
is sick’
TO THE EDITOR:
I have a complaint to register with
your paper that 1 know others are
concerned about, just like me It appears
to me. through daily reading of your
editorial page, that your columnists insist
on putting their opinion in their stories
The editorial page is no place for opinion
and to be quite frank about it, I'm sick of
it. That's my opinion.
Exec. Cathy Lewis in full makeup and spiffy hairdo
I am humiliated and dejected
Dearest to the Editor: I alias Hopei
I picked up my copy of The Rude and
Bleak the other day, and It just about
made me sick! I mean, not inly was the
content as stupid and insipid as usual,
but the printing was just awful! The
paper had all these little bumps and
spots all over it and was all wrinkled and
crinkled, like somebody picked up the
paper and sneezed in it and stuck it back
in the stack with all the other ones! Then,
all that black ink the paper is printed
with rubbed off on my fingers, and then I
wiped mv face because this funny-looking
bug bit me on the cheek and it itched,'
and I got that black stuff on my face. I
must have looked like a fool! And then.
JOHN SMITH
Block No. 1)
Mllledgevllle
‘Don’t print
this letter’
TO THE EDITOR:
I am writing this letter because I know
you probably won't print it anyway (It
works for everyone’else.)
How could they?!
I am humiliated, dejected and so mad
that people would dare to criticize my
column
And on top of that, accusing me of
undermining women's liberation. I am
too, liberated. I go without a bra on every
other Sunday and kiss on the second date
I just cannot believe that students on
this campus could get so riled up over
such an innocent little thing as the
. . _ '6 l IIC
fortune we women spend on make-up
now. really!
NAME WITHHELD
And you Hope Dlugozima. you you
traitor, you are a disgrace to your
profession Allowing personal opinions to
appear in a newspaper, the opinions of
fll Red and ‘Black
Editorial iuMm( Jn*l Andrews
k4.eru.mg units Greg Griffith Donna Pcavey. Donna fUlcMord. Bob R>aU Unda Sptka
La Wifcoo
ClassIftH advertising mint get Susan Turner
Letters policy
Staff
Grsphic coordinator Frank La*
liters will be printed at _
and Ubatons Malarial I atiaes Mast
* t» type4 4noble .paced on a «a spare line
»*» T*a Had sod Mach
Editor Hopa Dtugmima
Executive editor Cathy M Lawu
(>a«»er■ I Manager Ed Stamper
kdverttsing Manager Charles F
t apy edtamt Scott Jacob* Gary FouU
(an
rhy t
Fee to
i editor Justin Gillis
Mar Bnan O Shan
r% editor Tammy Savage
IGA To4
Graph it designer Wayne E Nall
\saietaat rsMpos editors Bobby Byrd. Cindy Jackson
Usfciant eMy editor Seth Cohan
\sstotant feature, editor Krts Young
Assistant sports edMors Norm RatUy Andy Cork
Assistant |
The Had and Black stndenl eea.poper of the ( alversMy of Georgia. Athens is poMished Tuesday through
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Contacts
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I nixersMy of Georgia Ingnirtes 'Nterslag sd.ertis^l .JI'?* 1 * »dltorta| offices Journalism
( orrespondeocr should he addressed is ll* T.L ‘ at U* bosJL? J.T -
Georgia Mbras Georgia MM
offices ilPti M2 Mill
- ■ - a^» 1,11111 '
Halbba rabanftr al
your readers especially, tsk. tsk.
verybody knows that newspapers are
an d only print their staff's
“)*’ here you are allowing your
f * t ?" or 10 h* criticized in print
for God and all the world to see
lam so ashamed of you.
Vmi!3 cr — cs 1 Sfl y pooh, pooh! And
IiFh l W> "‘ ng for lhe ch *nce to get you
aN back in my next column (When I find
^typewriter under all the damn
p, {. al “V apartment, that is.)
.akin. you Chuck Westbrook for
taking the heat off me.
Ju »> call me Maxi-mad al the
Rude 4 Bleak
CATHY M. I Made-up) LEW IS
’