Newspaper Page Text
Thursday, April I, 1982
The Ked and Black
Pa « e5
Most Slanted News of All
Monks march for peace,
Kennesaw disarmament
Polaroid by Jim Rockford
Teller Tina Teller tells all
Area banks to hold
bounced check bash
By ATINEB TTEGGOD
Rude and Bleak Staff Writer
Because students at the University continuously write bad
checks to local merchants, Athens banks are going to throw a
party in honor of all those students who have paid over $25 in
service charges because of bounced checks.
“We figure it's the least we can do for the students who
bounce the checks. After all, because of their stupidity we
make eight bucks a shot on them,” said Tina Teller of Aliens
and Eastern National Bank.
Not only is ASE going to participate in the upcoming event,
but also the Third Radical Bank of Athens. Third Radical
president Benny Bounce-a-checky said he agreed that
without the students' business, his bank would be in serious
financial trouble.
"Every week our bank makes close to $500,000 from
students’ service charges on bounced checks,” he said, “And
now that the University has over 22,000 students, more and
more checks are bounced each day. I just love it”
“We're going to be serving hamburgers and hotdogs to
those who have bounced five checks or fewer and champagne
and caviar to those who have bounced over five checks. I
urge students who have only bounced five checks to go
bounce a few more before the party, I wouldn’t want anyone
to miss out on the good stuff,” he said.
Local merchants in Athens agree it is a good idea to give
the students a little recognition for bouncing so many checks.
Priscilla Pepperoni of Dynamoes Pizza said because of the
extra revenue they make from service charges on bounced
checks, Dynamoes is donating 25 large pizzas — all with ex
tra anchovies and black olives — for the big event.
The party will take place Saturday, April 4 in the parking
lot of the Third Radical Bank.
By DMITRI AGNOSTOPOLOPOULOS
Rudr and Bleak Staff Grfrk (iod
Two people and a fish were trampled
and badly mauled in a stampede by 12
peace marchers in the Drugs-R-Us
Apothecary on Broad Street Wed
nesday.
“The march started off peacefully,
but then the marchers saw that sign in
the drug store window and went crazy”
said Ferd C. Denizen, who was mar
ching with the group in support of world
peace and disarmament of the town of
Kennesaw,
Most of the marchers were local
people, but the ones who caused the
stampede were 12 long-distance mar
chers who started in New Orleans on
Jan. 1 and stopped in Athens on their
way to Newark, N. J., where they hope to
be mugged.
According to Denizen, the Zambian
Zulus were walking down Broad Street
with the rest of the long-distance
marchers chanting in prayer, “O-mi-a-
king-feet.” Then the monks saw the sign
in the drugstore window which heralded
a two-for-one sale on Odoreaters, and in
their frenzy to get into the store, two
people and a fish were trampled.
“I was just going in to buy a truss for
my husband, J.J., and this seven-foot
man in an orange toga picked me up and
set me ir. the aquarium in the window,”
said Faye Kaye Maye Wray, who was
badly cut by coral in the bottom of the
fish tank. “That’s when the fish got hurt
too,” Wray said. “When I got dumped
into the tank, the halibut that was living
in it was sloshed out. Somebody
screamed, 'There’s a sole on the floor!'
One monk thought she'd said Scholl and
tried to stuff it into his shoe.”
“Like, I was, like, just like picking up
like my prescription for marijuana, you
see, like I have, like, glaucoma, and,
like, I have a brother who’s an eye
surgeon, like Then, like, 1 got knocked
into a valium display and I was, like, out
cold. What a trip, like,” said Terry
Terry, a graduate student in nuclear
physics at the University. Terry was
treated and released for an acute attack
of appendicitis at Athens General
Hospital. "Well, like, 1 really had a
concussion, but, like, it was just such a
trip to be operated on I didn't say
anything," said Terry.
No one else was injured in the melee,
but after the seven other long-distance
marchers had joined the monks and
destroyed the Odoreaters display, the
store looked like it had just been at
tacked by a podiatric convention
Kenny Kensworthy, proprietor of
Drugs-R-Us said, "Um, well, as long as
they, um, didn't touch the, um,
medicinal marijuana, it's ok. It's
amazing how much eye disease we have
in Athens."
UGA Vesterday
Fading green
The deadline for picking up scholarship checks was
Wednesday, March 31 at 5 p m. Financial Aid Direc
tor Acid Tripp said that all students who failed to pick
up their checks by this time would lose their scholar
ships for the year. The checks were at the Chicopee
Building.
Just remembered..
Wednesday, March 31,
is positively the last op
portunity to join the
University Pro-
castinator’s Club In
terested students should
turn in their applications
at the last possible
minute to Room 222,
Clarke Howell Hall
Brownie points
The University Resume-building Club met Wednes
day night at 7 in the Law Library. Dr. N. Flated Ego
spoke on "Joining Honor Societies Without Showing
Up." All interested persons who were not there miss
ed it.
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