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244 OCONEE STREET
shop davison's daily 10am to 9pm, Sunday 1pm to 6pm
By WORLD B. GONZALEZ
Rude and Bleak Illegal Alien
Only days after coming under excruciating pressure to hire
the school s first black football coach, Georgia Coach Vince
Fooley once again finds himself staring down the wrong end
of a minority gun. Fooley was contacted Tuesday by local
Athens Equal Rights Amendment supporters and women's
activist, Bella Steinem, who demanded a meeting with Hje
Head Bulldog to discuss the lack of women on the present
Georgia coaching staff.
Georgia is one of many schools in the Southeastern Con
ference that does not employ a female football coach.
“I think it is disgraceful that women are relegated to the
position of promiscuous cheerleader or supportive wife in the
football power structure," complained Ms. Steinem The
rotund activist spoke while sporting an Atlanta Falcons
helmet, shoulder pads and a jersey reading, "Women kick
butt.”
Fooley was shellshocked by the attack and issued a hurried
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reply Wednesday. “I was not aware of the need for a female
football coach at the University of Georgia, but obviously
some people feel there is one. It looks like we've opened up a
whole new can of worms here,” Fooley whined.
When asked if her group had any promising candidates in
mind, Steinem was a picture of bovinity. “We have our
woman and feel that she is more than qualified for the job."
The woman Steinem was referring to was, of course, semi
legendary mentor, Bertha "Alonzo" Stagg, niece of football
institution Almost “Alonzo" Stagg.
Ms. Stagg currently directs the powerful Newark Nuns
semi-pro gridiron squad and is executive director of BIA
(Broads in Athletics), a pseudo-terrorist pressure group,
specializing in violence and harassment of male sports
figures. Ms Stagg reportedly claims responsibility for
spraypainting a derogatory slogan, "Keep us in the kitchen
and we’ll keep you in traction," on the side of Alabama Coach
Burrhead Bryant's 1964 Buick sedan.
"Women have suffered in chauvinistic subjugation long
enough. Pigs like Fooley must pay for their transgressions,"
screamed Ms. Stagg, speaking before a frenzied mob.
"Fooley will face our charges or face the consequences.”
Ms. Stagg s teams have been known for wide-open offense,
stifling defense and innovative uniforms. She is the
originator of the protective collar and revolutionary flak
habit. "I am equally schooled in offensive and defensive
schemes," bragged Stagg. "Fooley needs me and he knows
it."
Fooley met with University President Ferd C. Denizen
Wednesday night, and the two battled wits for over two
hours, finally agreeing to take sugar in their coffee instead of
cream. At press time, no further talks were scheduled, and
both participants remained monotonous
After the meeting Fooley quipped, "No comment." Un
substantiated rumor and innuendo has it, however, that
Fooley is considering naming Ms Stagg to replace aging
Bulldog personality "Squib" Jones Jones is reportedly in
line for the head coaching job at New England, where he is
being hailed as the offensive logistician the Patriots have
always needed. "I've waited my entire career to work with
someone as gifted as Squib,”' gleamed Patriot quarterback
Steve Grogan. "1 get all goose-pimplely just thinking about
it,"
Ms, Stagg will return to Athens within the week with her
agent, Elmo "Escape” Clause, to discuss contract demands.
"I want big bucks," Stagg stated. “And when I say big, I'm
talking about massive cash outlay ."
Mulberry to play for Dogs again
By DR. M
Kutlf and Hlrak Dunk Spri-lHlUl
Generic Mulberry, Georgia's senior guard recently named
to the National Invitation All-Tournament team, has won
hardship status and will be eligible for a fifth year of eligibili
ty with the basketball Bulldogs next year.
Mulberry found no lakers in the National Basketball
Association as he combed the streets of Salt Lake City,
Cleveland and San Diego recently looking for jobs
The Brooklyn, N Y , native was at his home in New York
when the NCAA informed him of his academic status
Apparently, Mulberry did not see enough action in the final
10 minutes of any game this year for the 1961-82 season to
count toward his eligibility
If Domino Wilkins should spurn NBA offers to turn pro, the
Bulldogs would have their entire starting lineup returning for
the second year in a row.
Mulberry would return along with Dern Phlegming at
guards, Terry Flair at center and Wilkins at forward along
with Atlanta's James Blanks.
NCAA troubleshooter David Burst told The Rude and Bleak
that if Georgia doesn't play Mulberry in more crucial situa
tions next year, Georgia Coach Due Hurham could be
suspended or the team could be placed on probation.
Hurham said he didn't see any prubiem with plenty of play
ing time for all the Dogs' returning starters.
"Generic Mulberry, in particular, will be a major con
tributor to our program next year," Hurham said Wednes
day “Mulberry's been working his butt off for four years and
we owe him the chance to start here ’'
‘Mulberry’s been working his butt
off for four years’
—Due Hurham
In other Georgia hoop news announced Wednesday,
“Tree" Mulberry, brother of Generic, said he will sign a
grant-in-aid to play basketball for Georgia next year.
The 6-foot 11 Mulberry said his final decision was between
Georgia and St. John’s, but he chose Athens because of his
brother’s recommendation.
Magoo unveils hats
Georgia tennis Coach Fan Magoo has recently come out
with a new line of designer hats. Shown above is one of
Magoo's favorites called the pancake sombrero. Magoo's
whole line of hats is now available at the University
Bookstore. "Our fans have always been special. Now they
can own something special that will really set them apart,"
Magoo said.
peach of a sola
Friday and Saturday only. We’re winding up our spr
ing sale with one spectacular peach of a sale - a
whole new crop of fresh buys on sale for two days on
ly!
25% off EVERYTHING
DLKIM W'EAtt
Beechwood Shopping Center
Alps Road
549-3658
25% Off
men’s short sleeve dress shirts
Reg. Fit: white, blue, ecru, pink,
maize. Reg. $14. Sale $10.50
Fitted: white, blue, ecru. Both 14’/,-
17.D8. Reg.$16,sale $12
davisoris
MATS
JLiWOMENSWEAR
Perfect for every look this spring,
\ A Jean Jacket
\ for the
} Spring Rusl
J Look
The Dirndl Pant
for the
Spring Dressy
Look
33% off
our entire stock of misses’ spring
jacket dresses
From DWD, R&K, Kathy J, Melissa
Lane, KHII, Lady Carol, more. Sizes 6
to 18. Styles vary. D. 134/ 138/ 18^
245. Reg. $52. to $144, Sale $35 to $96
25% off junior Sasson baggy
pants.Choose from assorted colors
and styles. Sizes 3 to 13. D248.
Reg. $38 to $52, Sale 28.50 to $39
$16 special purchase misses’ action
scene playwear
100% cotton tops and shorts all in
white. D172
25% off junior Condor plaid blouses
and plaid walking shorts
Sizes 3 to 13. Reg. $22 to $24
Sale $16.50 to $18.00
25% off
our entire stock of swimwear for
children
such as Izod, Rob Roy and Danmoor.
For girls, choose Sasson, Izod, Bay
One or Dune Deck. D51/61 / 65/7274'
142. 148.Reg.7.50 to $24,sale 5.60 to
$18
Preteen sizes not available in Colum
bia Mall, Athens,
Columbia, S.C.
25% off
misses’ Young Collector t-shirts and
shorts
Fashion stripe tee in sizes S-M-L.
Orig.$36,sale$27
Shorts in fashion colors for spring!
In sizes 6 to 14. D662 / 670. Reg.
$18,sale 13.50
50% off beautiful machine made
Oriental design rugs.
Ivory Kerman or Red Sarouk. D82.
Reg.$550,sale $275
comfortersiall sizes $25.
Choose from a great selection of
prints and colors in twin, full, queen
and king sizes. D59.
40% off Nikon EM 35mm camera and
kit!.
the lowest price of the season! D96. If
purchased separately.
$500, sale $300.
20% off
a great selection of genuine leather
handbags for spring.
Choose your favorite from a wide
range of styles; some with single an
double straps.
Bone,beige,cashew. D603
Reg. $29.sale $23.
Brand New Store Sale
Coming April 3rd
LEON
RUSSELL
(Russell tickets now on
sale at The Record Bar
and Turtles)
April 1st and 2nd
QB-1
Thursday, April 1, 1982 The Red ami Black Page 7 .
Fooley feels pressure to hire woman coach
• JJ.'.'J. 7T