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The Krrf and Black
Thursday. May*. IkK-l
THE RED AND BLACK
Establiihed 1893 — Incorporated I9H0
Harry Montevideo, General Manager
Clarice Makemson, Editor-in-chief
James Kendley, Managing Editor
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An indrprndi>nt «lutlrnl ns>w ujxif
Opinion
Tabloids offer unique style of news
Repression
As we all await Superior Court Judge James Barrow's decision
on the release of the NCAA investigation documents, an important
question of the public's right to know needs to be addressed
Attornies representing the University of Georgia Athletic
Association and Bulldog center Cedric Henderson argued before
the judge Wednesday that release of the documents before
completion of the investigation is a violation of Mr. Henderson’s
privacy and would do more harm than good to the University.
While the attornies’ concerns are understandable, what hap
pened to the public’s right to know? Is it up to these men to
determine what the public may or may not know? We think not
The University is a public institution which Mr. Henderson
attends at public expense He also represents the school at
basketball games.
If the documents on the details of the University’s responses to
the NCAA allegations are published, the University may look
something less than pretty to the public. However, if the men’s
basketball program is innocent it, like the women’s program, will
be exonerated, If it is found guilty authorities should handle the
situation with as much dignity and honesty as possible. Until an
official NCAA decision is handed down — a ruling is expected May
14 or 15 — the public, through the newspapers, has a right to know
what is transpiring between the University and the NCAA In
fractions Committee
Assistant Attorney General Pat McKee said if the documents
are published before the NCAA decision is rendered, it would be a
“half-truth "
Mr McKee is assuming an overwhelming degree of finality in
the situation if the documents are published. Instead, he should
realize that the issue would be far from dead with the release of
the documents. No one is going to ignore Mr. Henderson or the
University when they are able to comment publicly without the
constriction of NCAA or legal gag orders. On the contrary The
information Mr Henderson has represents unripened fruit for
which we are all eager
Mr. McKee and the Athletic Association representatives seem
more willing, however, to let it rot on the vine.
According to Mr. McKee, the University is seeking to put the
issue to rest as “expeditiously" as possible with as little “fanfare"
as possible. We really have to wonder if expediency is truly the
issue here.
I have grown sick and tired lately ot pseudo
intellectuals slamming those supermarket
throwaways such as the Enquirer and the
Examiner Sure, they're silly improbable rags
believed only by people with third grade educations
who live in Madison County, but maybe those are the
only sensible enough to realize that the stories these
"newspapers" fabricate aren't that different from
those found in supposedly credible magazines and
newspapers
Last week's Time cover story reads, "Did Comets
Kill the Dinosaurs?” A lengthier description of this
article in the table of contents reveals "Comets may
have killed the dinosaurs and could strike again '
I'm not questioning the credibility of this story I'm
sure scientists spent many years researching the
possibilities that comets exterminated the dinosaurs
Fine But the whole prospect still sounds ridiculous
And why do I have this premonition that Newsweek
will retaliate with "Did AIDS Kill the Dinosaurs’ 1 A
startling new theory explains how homosexuality
proved the downfall of the Brontosaurus "
True or not, this headline doesn't sound that much
different from such Enquirer-style headlines as
"Aliens Repossessed my Car "
One of these unintentionally humorous Kroger
crudities tells the poignant story of an Austrian
housewife who watches her beloved accordian-
playing husband turn into a crazed bloodsucking
vamptre every night Yet this [lab’s next to the recent
Andy Smith
discovery that Britain's Princess Michael had a Nazi
fora father
Time covered the story with a short paragraph
People ran a glamorous shot of the princess on the
cover and a three page story featuring a photo of the
old Hun father smiling and holding a rifle 1 shudder
to think what the Enquirer will do with this scoop
probably superimposed snapshots of Michael’s father
the Baron Gunther von Reibnitz and Hitler em
bracing with a swastika armband prominently
displayed on the Baron’s arm
So where does truth end and fabrication begin?
With the world getting stranger by the day. it
becomes increasingly difficult to tell How does the
reader or TV viewer really know that saccharine
causes cancer or that man has landed on the moon 0
How do we know that the people who publish the
Enquirer don’t also publish Time. Newsweek. The
New York Times or even The Red and Black for that
If Nazis can invade mother England and comets
can end life as we know it at any time then why can't
A stowaway bride die in a suitcase' or an "Alien
Planet Contact Earth?"
Probably the main difference between the
supermarket tabloids and credible journalism is that
serious newspapers generally use actual people as
sources and report the stories after they happen
rather than before
Newspapers relv on hindsight while the intrepid
news hounds at the Enquirer cover the story before it
happens using sources that might exist, and
assimilating facts that their vast psychic powers say
might be true
So in fact the guys at the Enquirer, that bastion of
Piggly Wigglv propaganda, are sharper, more alert
reporters than any of those bigshots at Time
magazine.
They wouldn't just report that crazed comets an
nihilaied the dinosaurs, they'd go out and interview a
pterodactvlor two
Sure there aren t any of these winged reptiles left
on this planet but why should that stop them, half the
things that really happen in the world today sound as
if they were made up by the t.nmm brothers anyway
/\ndv .Smith is
ami Hlack
ate news editor at The Red
Minority assistants serve a significant purpose
TO THE EDITOR: l>omax was the guest speaker Mr
laomax observed white and black at
On Monday. May 8. the Minority titudes of the past and present He
Assistants Program sponsored a forum suggested ways to overcome social and
titled “Blacks on White Uampuses “ economic obstacles through racial
Fulton County Commissioner Michael identity and coalitions Such programs
Save all living creatures!
TO THE EDITOR
It hits come to our attention that
Mobilization for Animals, the group
that opposes the use of "certain"
animals in medical research, is being
selective and inconsistent There are
thousands, nay millions, of fruit flies
imprisoned in genetic research
laboratories Consider their plight
entire generations trappy! in tiny
vials, living on top of the remains of
their predecessors — little fruit fly
concentration camps Think of the
experiments, the intentional induction
of mutations, the creation of new , weird
creatures They spend their entire lives
in tiny vials, never having reveled in
the navel of a Florida orange And after
their faithful service, they are killed
simply to make room for more Oh. the
horror of it all!
Their organization has also forgotten
plants There are acres and acres of
plants tortured daily in botany and
horticulture experiments These labs
routinely perform limb removal and
vivisection without using anesthetics! I
lie awake at night thinking of their
silent screams
Our organization. The Coalition For
The Right To Life For All The Living.
Even Bugs and Plants (TCF
TRTLF ATLEB&P > is volunteering
human subjects to replace these op
pressed creatures We consider this as
partial payment for the wrongs suf
fered by past generations of bugs and
plants We urge Mobilization for
Animals to do the same or perhaps a
group suicide would be more ap^
propriate for assuaging their guilt ami
making a proper statement in the face
of this horror
TCFTRTI.F ATI.EB&P
Job well done
TO THE EDITOR:
Because of the work the University is
doing in Africa and because of the
strong personal interest 1 have in the
people of many of the countries in that
vast continent. I found your in
stitutional editorial on Friday. April 2ft.
titled. “Real Relief.” to be especially
appropriate The points you made
regarding famine relief on one hand,
and long term needs on the other, are
points that need to be noted and ad
dressed
I believe most concerned people
understand and appreciate the moral
questions you posed The basic issue is
one of identifying nx>t causes ami then
addressing those causes through
research
You and your staff are to be com
mended for your thought provoking
editorial
DARLE. SNYDER
Director. International Development
included The NAACP. The Black Urban
league. Black Student Union and the
Minority Assistants Program
Recently, questions about the
significance and intentions of minority
assistants have b«*en raised by whites
and others (in>ups have asked me. as a
black, why there are only blacks
representing blacks in the MA program
and not other minorities I don’t know
That is a good quest ion
During the qu<*stion and answer
session the other night, a young white
lady who is a resident assistant asked.
“Why is there a wed for MAs when
there an* RAs? She said she was a
very open minded person, but still she
could not see why MAs were needed
Immediately hands shot up
throughout the audience Most of us
wished to address her question A few
wanted the floor to set this “insensitive
white chick straight Unfortunately,
this brave girl, whom 1 admire, was
verbally attackt*d by some for her
ignorance
As one who recognizes the need of
MAs. I strongly advocate their
presence hero Wo blacks have specific.
some thoughts
OB MANl I CAN'T
Beueve \t! t almost
F&eacrr mother's dan !
unique needs, particularly because of
our history Because we were treated
like third class citizens in the past and
are treated like second-class ones to
day. we must prove to the world and
ourselves that we are capable
I am a prime example Last year I
entered a strenuous and challenging
program with few black pioneers I felt
I had to constantly prove myself This
attitude caused me temporary read
justment problems that my grade point
average reflected I had begun to
believe that some whites thought I was
inferior
Why should a black student talk to
most RAs and expect them to un
derstand when a very “open-minded
white RA didn't understand the MA’s
influence enough to validate an answer
for her residents 0
There is a definite communication
breakdow n here It can only be resolved
through honest discussion without
criticism for not understanding
Otherwise, how are we to know the
minds of others 0
MITZ1 TAYLOR
Junior. Landscape Architecture
erik Johnson
WMfcN X TMiNIK Qt
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JVJST VOLL- KANSELF
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'•znvtovJT a ceHT
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Evolution is survival of the fattest
There's a real irony about having a hungry person
turn down a big slice of pepperont pizza or a hoi fudge
sundae, but it happens all the same Al the University
alone there are hundreds that forego meals for the
sake of vanity There is something seriously wrong
with our society when people would rather live on
powdered low-fat milkshakes lhan on thick steaks,
baked potatoes and cheesecake
It all goes back to the (act that people think if there
is a little fat on their bodies they won’t be able to
function it. modem society A.id in a way we're
turning it into a self-fulfilling prophecy “Thin is
beautiful" may be the American way but it isn't very
practical In fact, it’s unnatural
The beauty of science is that every now and then it
is changed significantly by a new theory The concept
I am about to present could win a Nobel Prize It is a
little mutation of Darwin's theory of evolution, but as
you'll soon agree, Darwin was only close. If he had
the insight he would have realized that evolution is
really the survival of the fattest
This comes from the obvious notion that fat people
have more protection from the elements and that
they have more surplus to sustain them through
periods when food is scarce
This would explain why so many people are trying
to lose weight They are genetically fat. and modern
American society has eliminated the need to be fat
All the glamor has gone out of fatness, so as a group
they just need to bide their time and wait for a nice
long famine, which will, once again, put them at the
top of the species
Starvation is a worldwide problem and just who's
dying’ The thin people, that's who.
Larger people are like human camels in a way And
when the nuclear ice age hits they'll have the ad
vantage at being able to eat lots at once and go
without food for a long time
The word fat here is appropriate whereas the chic
term "overweight" is not Overweight implies that
Joe Schnvrtz
‘When the nuclear ice age
hits, fat people will have the
advantage of being able to eat
lots at once and go without
food for a long time’
the thin people are right Fat, on the other hand, is an
actual physical part of a person's body
Another reason that fat is more appropriate than
overweight is that it's perfect to use in twisting
Darwin's catchy little phrase into a cute little pun
chline. an integral part of the humorous impact of the
column Without it, we're lost
Fat isn't to be confused with obese, which sort of
slows people down This is casually defined in Tab
commercials as over 200 pounds in males and over
about 140 pounds in females
I guess the throngs of the New Right are ready to
jump down my wiry little neck by now because I've
endorsed the only realistic theory of human
existence "God made people fat." they'll scream I
don't think so; if he did. why would he create the
Cambridge diet’
A lot of diets are dangerous and since most have
their basis in peer approval and acceptance maybe
they could be solved in the same way What it
amounts to is a deprogramming of learned eating
habits
Take bulemia for example This could be solved
[partially anyway) by a strategic ad campaign
featuring Brooke Shields, as she lies seductively on
her side she raises a bushy eyebrow and says:
"/ went out with this guy I thought he was really
neat, and he tooh me to this nice restaurant, and on
the way bach to the car he stuck his finger down his
throat and threw up Naturally 1 was grossed out "
At least I'm offering a solution
Technically, fat is caused by a combination of
metabolism and pizza It must be a combination
because, although I eat pizza every night. I still gel
invited to anatomy classes when skeletons are
scarce And. although a lot of people in Ethiopia
have slow metabolisms, there just isn't any pizza
around
So as a rich country with all the food that the
wealthy can eat there isn’t any excuse for people to
be on diets
And you can deny it for now, but when the big one
drops, you won’t be letting food go so you can watch
your waistline. Some president will probably refuse
to praise the Nazis or something and "Boom!” —
Mad Max for real; people dressed in leather and
scraping for dog food Not a pretty thought,
especially considering that it won’t star Mel Gibson
So eat pizza while you can and build up an internal
reservoir, because getting stuffed on pizza beats the
hell out of dog food
Joe Schwort* is the Photo Editor of The Red and
Black