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■ FANFARE
Sophomores Lisa Salvatierra and Stacy Sheppard began play
Thursday in the Women's Riviera All-American Tennis
Championships in Pacific Palisades, Calif. The tournament is
the second leg of the ITA Collegiate Grand Slam.
The Red and Black » Thursday, October 29.1992 » >
SPORTS
Lady Spikers aim for
second consecutive
NCAA tourney
By JOSH KENDALL
Staff Writer
After 22 matches last season the Lady
Bulldog volleyball team was 16-6 and on their
way to an NCAA tournament berth and their
best NCAA 6nish ever. After 22 matches this
season they are 17-5 and again ranked in the
top-20 by the AVCA (American Volleyball
Coaches Association).
Thanks in large part to sophomore
Priscilla Pacheco’s 379 tolls, the Lady Spikers
are averaging .36 more kills a game and have
bumped their attack percentage by .23 points.
Behind Hadli Anstine’s team-high 73 blocks,
the Lady Bulldogs have nearly doubled their
blocks per game, jumping from 1.83 to 3.42.
The team has improved in every category,
save digs, at this point in their season.
Still, the Lady Spikers are not satisfied.
“Looking at this season, we’re not where 1
wanted to be,” head coach Jim lams said.
Three of the team’s five losses have come
at the hands of Florida, LSU and Texas, all
teams ranked higher than the Lady Bulldogs.
The other two losses, to unranked Texas
A&M and Duke, are what bother lams.
"Those were two losses that were real
tough to take,” lams said. “1 feel we are a bet
ter volleyball team than both of them.”
These losses, coupled with the team’s trou
bles against highly-ranked opponents, giveB
lams reason for concern.
“What we haven’t done yet is beat the real
good team (i.e. Florida and Texas), and I
know we hove the ability to beat them,” lams
said.
However, lams is not totally pessimistic,
and he stresses the opportunity that the re
mainder of the season holds for his team.
“At times we have played outstanding vol
leyball,” lams said. "Being 17-5 with three of
the losses to close to Top 10 teams is not a
terrible situation.”
“We still have many opportunities, and if
we are as good as 1 think we are we can take
advantage of them,” lamB said.
Please see Spikers, Page 7
Jerks, tacky gold and big hair easy to find in Gainesville
When instructed to write the annual
anti-Florida article this year, I must ad
mit to being a bit wary.
After all, I’m the same person who re
ceived death threats from our beloved
friends at Clemson University last year
after writing a similar article prior to
Georgia’s win over the Tigers.
But, after approximately four seconds
of deep and profound thought about the
consequences of my poisonous pen, I con
cluded that I would be completely out of
danger from any attack at the hands of
our reptilian rivals.
After all, any Gator that ventured to
Athens to do me or my fellow Bulldogs
any harm would quickly blow his cover
with an inch-thick gold chain, neon tank
top, and mustache that strongly resem
bles that of a high school sophomore.
By the way, the aforementioned char
acteristics also apply to Gator females,
but I’m sure their big hair or a thunder
cloud of hair spray would give them
We tried.
We really, really tried to unearth
new dirt, or clay, or whatever the heck
that stuff is, about Georgia.
We sent field reporters to Athens
dressed in fatigues, carrying shotguns
and spit cups, but the truth is, we
couldn’t find anything we didn’t already
expect. We regretfully admit defeat.
So instead of taking unsubstantiated
(that means unfounded — and that
means things we couldn’t prove) jabs at
your beloved and sacred campus, we de
cided to print what we found — the hon
est to goodness truth. Honestly.
In between loads of dip and chewing
tobacco and shooting at anything that
walked (remember, we tried to fit in),
our diligent reporters managed to take
notes of the goings on at UGA.
Unfortunately, our pens ran out of ink
and we were forced to borrow crayons
from your engineering lab.
away long before they crossed the state
line.
Pass the cheese, please. Has anyone
noticed a serious depletion of the O-Zone
layer over Gainesville?
All jokes aside, we at Georgia would
like to congratulate the Gators on their
recent SEC title and two consecutive
wins over the Bulldogs.
I’m sure it’s entirely possible Florida
won the SEC fair and square last season.
And the Pope isn’t really Catholic, but
instead is a Muslim with strong Mormon
overtones.
What’s it like to be in the same state
as Miami and STILL be regarded as the
most dishonest team in Florida?
By the way, honors to the Gators for
hiring Steve Spurrier two years ago.
Must be nice to be led by a coach that, in
just five years of college experience, has
managed to solidify his place among the
biggest jerks in all of college football.
Hey, maybe I’m wrong. If you don’t
Here’s a look at what we found:
Most Popular Courses at UGA:
3. Peanutology — the study of
peanuts.
2. Jimmy Carterology — the study of
American mistakes.
1. The General Sherman Years —
what went wrong?
Most Popular Bumper Stickers:
3. My girlfriend, er, my daughter and
my money goes to UGA.
2. Redneck on board.
1. My other car is a tractor.
Most Popular T-Shirts:
3. I sent my kids to UGA and all I got
was a stinkin’ can of Copenhagen.
2. If God isn’t a Dawg fan, why did he
paint the sky red and the sun black?
1. None at all.
Most asked questions at UGA:
believe Spurrier is the world’s greatest
coech and an all-around nice guy, just
ask him. He’s proven more than happy
to tell anyone and everyone about his
undeniable greatness.
And another thing. Before you
Florida fans get too cocky about recent
success, let’s remember that your
beloved Gators have finished in the final
Top Ten poll a grand total of four times.
Once without being on probation.
Wow, we at Georgia can only sit back
and envy such a proud and honored tra
dition.
Way to go Shane Matthews. It’s not
just any player who can take himself out
of the Heisman race in the span of one
game. Heard you were dressing up for
Halloween as a real quarterback - you’d
certainly get honors for the best costume
of the day.
Enjoy the award, for it’s likely to be
the only one you receive this season.
And how about Errict “The Human
truth from a
3. Duh, What does UGA stand for?
2. Duh, Where’s the beef?
1. Duh, Where’s the Parthenon?
Most Popular Reasons for at
tending UGA:
3. Easy entrance with two Skoal
Bandits proofs of purchase.
2. Couldn’t get job at Burger King.
1. Free Vince Dooley autograph with
tuition.
Most Common Sights at UGA:
3. Sister kissing.
2. Sorority tractor pulls.
1. Nose picking.
Least Common Sights at UGA:
3. NFL Scouts
2. Indoor Plumbing
1. Teeth.
Most Famous Alumni:
3. Uncle Jessie
Typo" Rhett? Hey Errict, if you ever
need to spell anything aside from your
name, perhaps you should ask someone
from UGA.
To put things in terms that even a
Gator fan can understand, if Georgia
didn’t show up in Jacksonville for the
next 19 years, the Bulldogs would still
have a winning record against your ad
mirable program.
Has any other legitimate rivalry in all
of college football been more one-sided?
I have serious doubts.
Remember, two straight wins don’t
take away from decades of dominance,
no matter what Steve Spurrier tells you.
Mike Flttyd i» a staff writer for the
Red & Black. After finishing this ar
ticle, a rowdy group of Gator fans
rampaged our office and dragged
him away. His whereabouts are un
known.
Dawg hater
2. Cooter
1. Jethro
Most Common Occupations for
UGA Grads:
3. Selling boiled peanuts.
2. Monopoly board painter.
1. UF waterboy.
Least Common Occupations for
UGA Grads:
1. One that involves money.
Thanks for being so cooperative and
just plain dumb. In other words, thanks
for being yourselves.
Keith Niebuhr is the football beat
writer for The Daily Alligator. Vte
think it was unwise of him to make
so many derogatory statements
about shotguns, but then after hav
ing to watch a season of Florida
football, we can understand how his
brains turned to grits.
The honest to goodness
Above
Gizmos and
Junkman's
Daughter
1
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tv
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hursdav
Nickel Night
Drinks & Draft w/ The Simpletons
$5.00 COVER
D V B S E V!
Ac/wYa Original Snort* Bar
Thursday
"The
Downtrodden"
950 Rolling Rock
ABC SPORTSCARDS
on Gaines School Road
next to McDonalds
10% Discount to UGA Students
Hours 11-6 548-8382
(C American Heart
Association
CONGRATULATIONS
UNIVERSITY OF
GEORGIA...
PARTY ON!
Playboy's photographer is
now interviewing femole
students attending the Uni
versity of Georgia for a spe
cial spring pictorial, Women
of the Parly Colleges.
In January 1987, Playboy
shook the nation's walls of
ivy by publishing a list of
the country's top good
time schools. We followed
that with a pictorial tribute
to femole students attend
ing those schools. The list
and the pictorial went on
to become two of the
most popular and talked
about features Playboy has
ever published.
Now, after five years of re
search, Playboy will pub
lish an updated list of party
schools, as well os a picto
rial celebrating beautiful
women at each school.
Congratulations! The Uni
versity of Georgia is on
the list.
Female students interested
in appearing in the maga
zine should call to sched
ule an interview session
that will take place at the
location listed below. To
qualify, you must be 18
years of age or older and
registered as a full-time or
part-time student at the
University of Georgia.
PLAYBOY
WOMEN OF THE PARTY
COLLEGES
APRIL 1993
University el Georgia Students
Call David Chan/Playboy Suite
Wednesday, Oct. 28 - Friday, Oct. 30
Holiday Inn
Bread St Hull Streets
Athens, GA
(706)549-4433
5
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