Newspaper Page Text
« » Th« Red and Black W—kmd • Friday, February 26, 1993
OPINIONS
The Red & Black
Established in 1893 - Incorporated 1980
An independent student newspaper not affiliated with the University of Georgia
Mike McLeod/Editor-in-Chief
Johnathan Bums/Managing Editor
Melody Willis/Opinions Editor
■ EDITORIALS
Let it snow, let it snow
We know what you were thinking.
The silent chant began with the first hints of possi
ble snow and soon reverberated throughout Athens.
Like a native American incantation for rain, the cry was
soundlessly hurled at the sky.
“Snow Day!”
“Snow Day!”
Imagine scores of Georgians, whose cars immediately
begin to slide off the roads at the mere touch of a single
snowflake, praying for ice and snow to deliver them
from the burdens of another winter quarter Thursday.
“Snow Day!”
“Snow Day!”
A horde of Georgians, who wore short sleeves on
Christmas Day, telepathically asking for cold and snow
and ice.
Sounds great, doesn’t it?
It’s funny how a whisper of a report of possible snow
can start images of sleds and slushball fights dancing in
our heads. Keep chanting, because we’re going to need
all the help we can get.
Despite reports of snow in Atlanta, threatening skies
here and the hopes of about 30 students who called the
University from Gainesville and Atlanta - hoping in
clement weather would negate their daily commute -
time off for winter weather happens here only very
rarely.
Though we could find no official records, you are
most likely to graduate never having had a day off for
snow. Even when the University does declare a snow
day, it is due to ice on the roads, stairs and sidewalks -
not snow.
Three University officials (who will remain unnamed
due to fear of unsolicited lobbying by students) met on
threatening days to determine if there is enough of a
danger to call off school.
Though it is unlikely to happen, justice demands
that nature deliver us a snow day. This year our spring
break is only six days, from Wednesday, March24, to
the following Tuesday this year.
Keep praying. It could happen. It would only be fair.
Screwed for phone sex
If you want to have phone sex, you no longer have to
be home by the phone to do it. A new fad, a collect call
1-800 phone service, has started up allowing your an
swering machine to be responsible for picking up the
call - and billing you $2 each minute.
Yes, this new scam involves an initial toll free call to
the service. Then, the bogus company’s computer asks if
you want to continue on the adventure. Sure, you say.
Well, from that point on, their computer will be calling
your phone incessantly, charging you the whole time. It’s
called a 1-800 call back scheme - and it’s on the rise.
Some students have installed a 1-900 call block on
their phone lines so they can’t be suckered into those old
tricks by phone hucksters. But, this new gimmick seems
harmless, at first. How can a 1-800 number cost us any
thing?
Ask your answering machine, whose taped message
triggers the phone sex computer to kick in the collect
charges - all being tallied by their shyster billing ser
vice.
Of course, you are supposed to have the option to
just say no to phone sex, but do you trust these guys?
Some of these shady companies conveniently have a
small glitch in the software that makes the computers
remember your telephone number - forever.
Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Phone sex here. Can we play
a game?
Sure, Mr. Intrusive Computer Phone Sex Dialer.
Let’s play complain to the Public Service Commission
until something is done about you.
Click.
STAFF
ADVERTISING: 543-1791
NEWS: 543-1809
John Kauu. Carta Part*
ng Aaatataats: Argaia Craa. Cathy Matthew*
*rc(«ct» Caar^Ratar Ryan Reagan
Rg Rapraaantattvw: Jonathan Dubov*ky.
Faanay, Lon Floyd. Eric Gant, Brad Hardy.
**— Robinson. Sharia
Mill*. Thsrasa Walsh
Groover. Knt Patcharawtsa*
Stair, hufcart Hang, Laura Pot/ida*.
r. Harry Montevideo
K Cathieen Egan. David TwWdy. Ru»*
Thome*. Lon Wlachman, Kelly
t. Gary People* Maura Comgpn.
Publishing Company Inc. All
■ QUOTABLE
"I would visit Aspen, and I would take Harry Connick Jr. along
with me."
—Caroline PlauchA, a freshman from Winter Park, Fla., de
scribing her ideal spring break.
Aictlwlfictaiy forM.r.V&ihjfcr/WAa£ Anice,clean K,0.ovcrMr Snowyf
That dearly wakes ktvi undispirfct/ champion httt inAthns^A? v
Cure for late night doldrums - Phil Hendrie show
Are you looking for a good late night laugh?Is
Jay Leno a dork with no capabilities to be fun
ny, does King David Letterman come on too
late? Well, I have the solution to your dilemma.
Beginning at 10:00 p.m. and lasting until 2:00
a.m. is a man known as Phil Hendrie. He is on
WSB-AM 750 radio, and he is quite possibly the
funniest man ever put on this earth. No politics,
no hot topic debates, no right or left-wing name
calling, just good humor that will most likely
keep you laughing into the next day.
I have personally undergone a complete sense
of humor metamorphosis since listening to
Hendrie. I can just here his voice now and begin
to laugh. If you listen to him though, you must
understand that he likes to play with people. He
will incite the listeners to the point of insanity
by using his cast of characters. By this I mean
he portrays someone fictitious to push the lis
teners’ buttons, and he does this incredibly well.
For example, the other night he pretended to be
an old lady calling up to complain about Michael
Jackson grabbing his “crotch area” during the
half-time show at the Super Bowl. He main
tained this character for hours and at the same
time continued to portray himself as the host. It
was great because as the old lady he would say
completely ridiculous things that would make
almost anybody mad, and then as himself he
would argue with her and provoke angry, and ig
norant, callers to phone and complain about the
old woman. It all sounds very confusing, and the
point behind my explanation is to remind you
Timothy
Moody
that you must listen to his show with an open
mind.
If you need a break at night and just want to
sit back and laugh, then Phil is your man. He
takes hot button topics and puts a comedic spin
on them that I have never seen before. For ex
ample, about a month ago when we were all
wondering what Saddam Hussein would do next
Eind the political cow dung was being hurled
about, Phil Hendrie transformed himself into
one of his many characters and pretended to be
a redneck that was sitting in for Hendrie to host
the show. He continued to complain about how
America had gone “soft,” and he was irritated
because the United States wasn’t “kicking ass”
like they used to. Well this incited dozens of peo
ple to call up and complain about him and cre
ate an extremely funny show for the listeners
who knew that he was just joking around.
Perhaps the funniest show I have ever heard
was just the other night when Hendrie decided
he wanted to rewrite the Andy Griffith Show to
resemble the 1990s. A few of his script ideas
were Aunt Bee growing marijuana in her gar
den, Barney having a cocaine problem, Gomer
getting beaten up at the mess hall because he
revealed his homosexuality and Barney loosing
a hand as the result of the bomb that he was go
ing to throw at the Synagogue exploding prema
turely. As you can tell by these examples, the
Phil Hendrie show is not for everyone, just peo
ple with a good sense of humor and an open
mind. If you can figure out how to tune in an AM
radio station, I highly suggest that you listen to
him. If you get offended, just change the station,
but I promise you will laugh at something he
says.
If you need a good, entertaining break from
real life, listen to Phil Hendrie - you will laugh
until your sides hurt. And if you don’t laugh, at
least you will know how deranged society can be.
A fair warning though, his show can become
very addictive and you will not want to miss a
single broadcast. If you like David Letterman,
Phil Hendrie almost puts him to shame, but I
doubt if he makes $50,000 a day like Letterman.
So one last time, please listen to the show - it
will do a great deal of good to society because
perhaps people will lighten up and have a sense
of humor. The world is too serious, we’ve all got
to relax. Prescription number 1: The Phil
Hendrie Show at 10:00 p.m. on AM 750.
Timothy Moody is a senior in history.
Debunking conservative view
on environmental problems
After checking my calendar to
verify it wasn’t April Fool’s Day,I
re-read Jerry McGahagin’s column
concerning the “environmental
wacko” in the Feb. 16 Opinions sec
tion. With phrases like “the truth
will set you free,” “the simple fact
of the matter” and “this is scientif
ic fact and can’t be argued with,”
you would think McGahagin an ex
pert in the field of environmental
health, or environmentalism in
general, and would support his
contentions with facts. Yet
throughout the article no facts are
given, merely vague references to
volcanic ash, the ozone layer, fur
coats and spotted owls.
McGahagin begins by
stating his doctrine on
environmentalism;
“Recycling is a wonderful
thing, and those who pol
lute should be punished
for their actions.” How
trite. The extent of his
knowledge on environ
mentalism appears to be
limited to polluting and
recycling, yet that’s only
the tip of the iceberg.
Nevertheless, he feels
compelled to write an article con
demning environmentalists who,
in most cases, are far more knowl
edgeable.
Next, McGahagin attempts to
clarify his position by saying that
it’s only with “extremists" that he
disagrees, giving an example of
someone pouring blood or paint on
another individual’s fur coat.
Really McGahagin, don’t you think
you’re watching too much televi
sion? Are you sure you’re not bas
ing these statements on a few iso
lated television accounts?
McGahagin then paraphrases
the Bible in reference to God’s cre
ation of man superior to other crea
tures to support his viewpoint that
man “shout a not have to suffer or
lose jobs just so tweety bird will be
OK." Yet he neglects to also para
phrase (or preferably quote) where
God tells man to be a good steward
over his domain. I guess causing
the extinction of a species is good
stewardship in McGahagin’s ideol
ogy. Just think, Noah ensured the
survival of these species under
God’s direction, yet McGahagin be
lieves it’s appropriate for us to de
stroy them.
McGahagin points out that we
should abandon the spotted owl to
save jobs. According to timber in
dustry experts, at current cut rates
these jobs will be gone in approxi
mately 10 years. We can either ad
dress the issue of this job loss now
or wait 10 years until a majestic
old-growth forest is completely de
stroyed, at least one species be
comes extinct, and thousands of
timber jobs are lost. Good steward
ship favors a long-term solution,
not a destructive short-term fix in
tended to sustain jobs regardless of
cost.
Next, McGahagin goes into a
tirade about the ozone layer. It is
obvious that he knows very little
about this subject. He compares
the relative levels and dangers of
volcanic ash and CFCs
from aerosol cans in the
atmosphere, yet fails to
mention how long each
remains there. He then
spouts “Who has the
conceit to say that man
can destroy something
nature itself can’t even
do?" This has to be one
of the most ridiculous
statements I’ve ever
heard. When was the
last time you saw a car
rier pigeon? What caused many of
the ancient forests on the African
continent to become deserts? How
did many of our water resources
become polluted? Why are this
country’s wetlands disappearing so
fast? In each case, mankind, not
nature, is responsible. I suppose
Three Mile Island wasn’t
mankind’s fault either, right?
Finally, McGahagin takes a t ast
gasp swipe at some environmental
ists by pointing out the apparent
irony of those who favor abortion,
yet support saving other animal
species. Whether you like it or not,
there is a school of thought which
believes a species facing extinction
deserves saving at virtually any
cost, especially if mankind is re
sponsible for taking it to the brink
of extinction. The human race is
not in any danger of extinction due
to low population. On the contrary,
we face environmental problems
caused by overpopulation. Thus, in
this school of thought, an animal
species like the spotted owl facing
extinction is valued more highly
than an embryo of a species not
facing extinction. Lest you put
words in my mouth, note that I did
not specify whether I agree with
this ideology.
This past weekend I, along with
■ FORUM
■ The Red end Black welcomes letters to the editor and prints them in the Forum
column as space permits. All letters are subject to editing for length, style and li
belous material. Letters should be typed and doublespaced, and they must in
clude the name, address and daytime telephone number of the writer. Please also
include student classification, major and other appropriate identification. Names
may be omitted with a valid reason upon request. Send letters by U.S. mail or
bring them in person to The Red and Black s offices at 123 North Jackson Street,
Athens, Georgia 30601.
over 30 other individuals, had the
pleasure of participating in the
Oconee River Cleanup. I regret
that you were not among that
group, as it would have given you
some facts for your editorial. I
would encourage you to enlighten
yourself in this, the most basic
form of localized environmental
ism. Next time you’re at
O’Malley’s, take a look at the
banks of the Oconee River covered
in trash and recite to yourself the
biblical paraphrase of stewardship
of the earth. Is there no inherent
value in nature other than that
which we can cut, burn, till under,
mine or otherwise destroy?
Scott Hamel
Senior, psychology
Well, I thought that the Red and
Black had John Turco as humor
columnist and then only on
Fridays. But to my delight, I read
Jerry McGahagin’s farcical piece
on Feb. 16. McGahagin presented
an excellent portrayal, brilliantly
capturing the ignorant, foolish,
young male conservative. Such re
alism and wit! With his delightful
sense of the obscure, McGahagin
evokes a clumsy logic that at
tempts to tie together fur, abortion
rights and ozone destruction! He
also illustrates the “us vs. them”
ideology by exclaiming that he’s
only criticizing those “extremists" -
not us regular folk. A near perfect
portrait - down to the cute, catchy
byline description:”...giving conser
vatives a voice.” He even manages
to capture the joy of total ignorance
of ecological relationships, not to
mention the arrogance of the
Christian paradigm! Wow! Thank
you, McGahagin. Thank you, Red
and Black for adding another hu
mor column - it really brightened
my dull week. I look forward to an
other soon.
I However, I do hope this new
humor column is not in vain; sar
casm has often seemed lost on the
Red and Black readership.]
All Jones
Senior, botany
Prejudice part of racism
It has come to my attention that
people often misname prejudice
and racism. Therefore, I must en
courage all to read “Cress Theory
of Color-Confrontation and Racism
(White Supremacy)” by Frances
Cress Welsing, M.D. This pam
phlet deals with the definition as
pect of racism. People often confuse
prejudice and racism. The two are
different; prejudice is only a com
ponent of racism. Prejudice, ac
cording to G.W. All port (The
Nature of Prejudice), is an aversive
or hostile attitude toward a person
or group and is, therefore, pre
sumed to have the objectionable
qualities ascribed to the group.
Racism is prejudice plus power.
Power to oppress and “dominate”
systematically “across-the-boards”
in nearly all
facets of life.
According to
Welsing,
racism is
systematic
oppression,
domination
and subju-
gatjon of all
people with
the capacity
to produce
significant
quantities of
melanin skin-pigment: black,
brown, red and yellow people. Now,
to my knowledge, at this point in
time, people of color do not have
this power to systematically op
press “across-the-boards,” but they
do possess the “capacity to produce
significant quantities of melanin
skin-pigment.” Therefore, it seems
to me that people of color are inca
pable of being racists. So, as one
can see racism is indeed white
supremacy at its highest. Please
take note, and in the future, use
the correct terms accordingly. If we
are to label, let us do it correctly
and intelligently.
Todd Roberts
Doctoral student, animal and dairy
science
\ \ »