Newspaper Page Text
'I
r 4
V
4 | Thursday, ]*nuaky 13, 2000 I The Red * Black
Kevin Clark | Editor in Chief
eiHtor@mndh.com
Jonathan Reed | Managing Editor
me@mndb.com
Meghan Roecklein | Opinions Editor
opiniori8@randb.com
Our Take
Majority opinions of The Bed <£• Black’s editorial board
Dinner and a... ?
Alps theater closing means the loss of
an Athens favorite to big enterprise
Many of you may have noticed a new absence in
the Athens movie scene. For the first time in 12
years, Alps Cinema is closed. Owner Sol Abrams
found himself unable to compete with the new
Carmike and renovated Beechwood theaters.
For those of us on a budget (namely, all stu
dents), Alps provided a fun place to meet up with
friends and watch our favorite movies for the price
of a few quarters.
After the Georgia Square Mall theaters began
showing second-run movies, Alps began running
art films but was unable to turn a profit.
With all the controversy lately about big business
coming into town and driving out mom and pop
establishments, Alps is a case in point. We should
all do our part in supporting local businesses or
who knows what will be next to go.
Getting a free ride
A local cab company wants to give
students free rides from downtown
Big Dawg Shuttle has been working to find spon
sors who will help pay to get students home safely
on weekends. When students hire a cab to take
them downtown, the driver will give them a pass for
a free ride home.
Local businesses who sponsor the program and
Big Dawg are showing their appreciation of student
patronage and a concern for student safety. It’s nice
to know they care and understand that our safety
means our continued business.
While nothing is definite yet, Big Dawg Shuttle
ran this program successfully on New Year’s Eve
and hopes to continue on upcoming holidays.
It will take longer to get the program for week
ends set up, but if and when it is, being able to
catch a free ride home will help reduce the number
of drunk drivers. Also, students who live in dorms
will be able to ride safely home rather than walking
late at night and putting themselves at risk.
Show appreciation
The time is right to support the
Lady Dogs in their game vs. the Vols
There is practically no reason why every single
one of us should not be in Stegeman Coliseum to
root on the No. 7 Lady Bulldogs as they battle No. 2
Tennessee Monday at 1 p.m.
The women’s team consistently outperforms the
men’s basketball team (they have five Final Four
appearances to the men’s one), but they rarely see
any significant show of fan support.
Our women’s basketball team has a winning
record against every SEC team except Tennessee. If
you think the football rivalry between these two
schools is big, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
Let’s all get it together on our day off, turn out to
support our Lady Bulldogs and enjoy what is sure
to be one of the most exciting games of the season
— men’s or women’s — for free.
Our Staff
NEWS: S43-1809
tows Edrtoi Louis Roffes
Associate tows Editor Jennifer Copeland
Opnon Edfcy Meghan Roecklein
Sports EdNor Gentry Estes
Variety Editor Wl Kae>
Recruitment Edrtor Tara McCormick
Chief Copy Editor Lacey White
Front Page Copy Editor tan Shelton
Copy Editors Amanda Brannon. Erm Dickerson. Michelle
Thomas
UGA Today‘Oucktaka Jeff Moniemayor
Onlne Edrtor Frank Hams
Web Intern R LeeGuameUa
Photography Editor Rakhi Dalai
Chief Photographer Heather Allen
Photographers Becky Reid
News Writers Chandler Brown. Paul Fulton Jr. Shane
Galenane. Samira Jafan. Miranda Mangum. Mark Nieese
Krteten Wyatt
Sports Witters Darren Epps. Josh Katzowitz Undsay Ridden
Variety Wrtters Suzanne Kayes. Kyle Mmshew. Craig Phrtkpe
Stingers Kathleen Baydals. Mo*y Barrett Ouanza Brooks
Graham Gameon, Marc Gmetoerg. Bryan Grantham. Chns
HassMis. Bianca Henderson. Hrtey Hilkard. Cory Kampfer
Dana Lentz, Ksnberfy Martin. Stewart McAIpne Kyte Mnehew.
Amber Shaw. Mark Anthony Thomas. Joseph Wfta. Mary
Ataon Wishes. KyleWngMd
ADVERTISING: 543-1791
Advertising Manager Sara Spun
Advertising Assistant Mary Beth Smuro. Jessica Lambert
Advertising Director Jason Valentine
Account Executives Jusbn Brocks Leake irvmg, ShAsta
Jones. Jana McDaniel Holy Memtt. Cardin Murphy Courtney
Renew. Knstm Stapleton
Special Protects Amanda Burton
Student Classified Manager RuefyCMfon
Circulation Assistant Ryan 0 Mara
Production Manager Amy DeWstrand
Aswtant Production Managers Jeremy Pickett, Brittany
Raines
Production Start Beryamn Comers Stephanie Dev* Jason
Wiggeie Enn W*am*
Publisher Harry Montevideo
Office Manager Mary Straub
Edrtonal Adviser Jen Godfrey
Assistant Office Manager Kim Darrow
Receptionist Regina Pack
Edrtonal Assistant Tata Margohaa
The Red 4 Black « pubtahtd Monday throu^i Friday fa* and
spring samesters and aach Thursday summer semester, except
hokdays and axam periods, by The Rad 4 Black Publishing
Company Inc. a non-profit campus newspaper not affiliated
with the Uraversrty of Georpa Postal address 123 N Jackson
St Affiant GA 30001 Fax 540-7251 Subecrtpbon rale $150
per year
Opriona expressed m The Red 4 Black other than unaignad edtonak era the opnons of the wnters of signed columns widnolnac-
aaaarffy ffioee olThe Rad and Black PubWsng Company Inc Al rights reserved Reports by pamssann of the edtors
Reaching Us
Phone (706) 543-1809 | Fhx (706) 548-7251
opinions@randb.com | www.redandblack.com
123 N. Jackson St., Athens, Ga., 30601
Letters should Include name, year In school, hometown, phone
number, major or job title or other appropriate identification.
Letters should be no more than ISO words. All letters are subject to
editing for length, style and libelous material.
Ka&Black 1
An independent student newspaper serving the I'nivervity ol Georgia communit)
ESTABLISHED IK9.1 INDEPENDENT 1 9K(»
Australia’s nicer, but home is home
I burst through the door to my
fh ;nds’ house like a rotten
appendix.
"I just checked out my own
groceries,” I shreiked.
“This computer told me what
to do. and I did it and I scanned
some green beans and ...”
I stuttered, suddenly uncom
fortable and a tad out of breath.
They were looking at me, this cir
cle of friends, like John Rocker
had just strutted into the Million
Man March.
They must just be jealous, I
thought, and attempted to con
tinue.
"The machine said, 'You may
now place the item in the bag’
and I did ..." I trailed off as more
perplexed stares shot like laser
darts toward my delicate frame.
Finally, a friend spoke.
"UMMM. Yeah. We’ve been
doing that forever,” Ms. Buzzkill
said.
So sue me.
I’ve been in Australia for the
past six months watching the
cricket on any one of our four
television channels. I’m not up
with all these new American
advances in convenience..
But it's not like Australia is’all
too far behind America in this
overwhelming technology era. No
Aussie is without a cell phone
implanted in one ear at all times.
And Pokemon, in all his forms,
has caused the mass meltdown
of the brains of most Australian
children, too.
But, OK, I missed some
things. I’ll admit it.
While I was busy eating
blooming onions and saturating
my liver with Fosters (Just kid
ding, Australians hate Fosters
and they ain’t never heard of a
Bloomin' Onion), Americans
Lindsay Riddell
▲
finally decided to lend their
enthusiasm to a women’s sport.
Women's soccer, to be exact.
Why this phenomenon
occured just as I, outspoken and
some would say bordering on
fanatical advocate for women’s
sports, left the country, I have no
idea.
But nonetheless, Americans
were pumped about the whole
thing, and I couldn’t be more
excited.
Australian men couldn't be
more excited either, as the buzz
at the local rugby match was sat
urated with the phrase “and
then, she ripped her shirt off.”
But you can’t really blame
them. Australians, while they do
get constant coverage of three
different types of the best sport
in the world — rugby — their
other spectator sporting options
are limited.
For God's sake, netball is on
TV all the time. For those of you
unfamiliar (as you should be),
netball is no-contact basketball
without backboards.
I’d rather sit through a lecture
on dillweed enemas than watch a
game of netball.
And the cricket... don't even
get me started (and why the hell
do people always say “THE crick
et"). Any sport where you get a
break for tea and wear white
sweater vests has to be ridicu
lous.
Oh yeah, another thing I
missed: movies. Upon my re
entry into the States I said:
"Hey guys, let's go to the pic
ture show. I heard a film called
E.T. just came out.”
Al] right, so they get movies a
few months behind. We’re actual
ly similar cultures with similar
misunderstandings of each other.
Australians think all
Americans carry guns. My inno
cent-looking best friend had no
problem convincing people that
she slept with one under her pil
low.
But Americans think
Australians wrestle crocs and
wear leather vests with no shirts
on underneath.
And Australians told me mul
tiple stories where they con
vinced an American not to cross
the Harbor Bridge in Sydney
during certain hours because it’s
closed for Kangaroo crossing.
Thank God living in America
taught me not to believe anyone.
It was the best of times, it was
the, well, best of times. But I try
to convince myself to look on the
bright side.
Sure, I'm not lounging on the
most beautiful beaches in the
world and jetting up to scuba
dive at the Great Barrier Reef
every weekend or watching the
Rugby World Cup with the
friendliest, rowdiest, most intoxi
cated fans in the world.
But I'm back in America
where people are constantly
suckered into reading my col
umn, and I can check out my
own groceries.
— Lindsay Riddell is a sports
writer for The Red & Black.
MRS degree requirements defined
W hat is a university? To
some, it’s a bastion of
knowledge to be sponged
up with reckless abandon. To
many, it’s a fortress of free
speech and liberated thought.
To others though, it's a place
to find a date, or maybe a mate.
Perhaps you’ve heard about
the infamous MRS majors. Of
course, you’re not one, but in
case you have a,friend who is, or
ever just wondered what exactly
MRS majors study, here’s the
MRS program of study, complete
with course descriptions.
AERO 3000: Individual
Fitness — Students learn ways to
keep in shape for the daily rou
tine of wake up, make up, flirt
and shack. Emphasis given to
reduction and avoidance of beer
guts, which are often associated
with going downtown every
night.
Classwork includes creating
harmony between your daily
workout routine and soap opera
schedule, and preparing for fit
ness after graduation.
DRIN 2000: Introduction to
Drinking — Explains the link
between alcohol and relation
ships with the average university
male. Focuses on building toler
ance, acting drunk while sober,
and developing an individualized
drunken stagger for downtown.
This is the first course In the
DRIN sequence. MRS majors
must take at least two more
courses from this sequence:
DRIN 2050 (Beers of the World),
DRIN 3000 (The Liquor vs. Beer
Debate), DRIN 3050 (Effects of
Alcohol on Scholastic
Endeavors), DRIN 4000 (Effects
of Alcohol on Personal
Appearance), DRIN 4050 (Effects
of Alcohol on Sex Life).
Those with significant high
Kyle Wingfield
A
school experience can apply to
take graduate level courses from
the department.
FLIR 4030: Advanced Flirting
— High-level discussion of the
use of flirting techniques previ
ously developed. Differentiates
between flirting to get into bars
underage, flirting to get a free
drink, flirting to give/get phone
number* s), flirting to get a free
ride back to your apartment and
flirting to get a free ride back to
his apartment.
Emphasis placed on out-of-
class lab experiences.
GAPP 30SO: Contemporary
Fashion — Highlights the basics
of any collegiate female’s
wardrobe, especially black
stretch pants, various pairs of
ridiculous shoes, black stretch
pants, low-cut tops, black
stretch pants, midriff items and
black stretch pants.
Discusses the selection of gar
ments for the individual, Includ
ing discussion of who should and
should not wear tight clothing
such as black stretch pants.
KECS 2500: Fundamentals of
Partial — Includes proper party
behavior, socializing techniques
and shack partner selection.
Discusses differences between
parties and the downtown scene.
Evaluates the merits of Greek vs.
non-Greek parties, kegs vs.
BYOB parties and large vs. small
parties — all in the context of
getting desired results from the
party.
Includes labwork with “MR
majors." Students are advised to
have previously taken DRIN
2000, FLIR 4030, GAPP 3050
RING 5500: Senior Seminar:
Securing a Marriage Proposal —
The final class for most MRS
majors. Discussions range from
desperate pleading to closing the
deal, depending on the status of
students in the class.
Students will be challenged to
examine the lengths to which
they will go to get a proposal and
the ethical ramifications of such
choices.
Must be fulfilled before MRS
candidate will be granted a
degree.
SEXX 4080: Exotic Sexual
Techniques — Prerequisites:
AERO 3000, DRIN 2000.
Students who need a course
description are advised not to
take this class.
SUVS 6050: Sport/UtMHy
Vehicles in Suburban Society —
Graduate level course. Deals
with the selection of an appropri
ate SUV for carting kids around
town, including classic questions
such as: Suburban or Excursion?
Four-wheel drive or two?
Discusses the risks associated
with driving anything that
wouldn’t demolish a Honda
Accord in an accident caused by
backing up or parking.
Well, there you have it. MRS
majors are advised to have
another major, as many candi
dates have difficulty in passing
RING 5500. For more informa
tion, contact the academic advis
er for the major, Kyle Wingfield.
— Kyle Wingfield is a junior
in publication management.
i M ‘ ggJ1 ’■ 11 **■ ■
Patrick Saunders
A
| Trendy music
won’t stand
| test of time *
W hat keeps the music q
business going is the ;
presence of the one-hiit
I wonder.
I An artist comes out and j
I sells a million copies of a song
I or album and then vanishes.
: Just like that, their spot is
j reserved on VH1 's “Where Are
I They Now?"
Predicting who will make it
j and who won't is a tough task,
i Well, it’s usually tough, as long
j as we ignore the case of
j Chumbawamba. «
Among those with staying
i power are the Dave Matthews
j Band and Counting Crows.
! The one thing that separates
DMB from the Widespread
j Panics, Grateful Deads and
! Phishes of the world is that
: they sell records. Girls show
: up at concerts for Dave Guys
: show up saying they’re only
: there for the girls. They both
j see solid musicians, and the
: guys don’t feel less manly
j when they catch themselves
j singing “Satellite" in the
j shower.
DMB distanced themselves
j from the early, insane compar-
: isons to Hootie's three-chord
: crap and now stand to have a
j long career ahead of them as
j a result.
Counting Crows displays
i the same characteristics as
j REM: soul-searching lyrics,
j popular frontman, non-com-
: mercial. The formula works,
j and it looks like they will have
: just as long and prosperous a
j career as REM.
One genre that rose to
j prominence in 1999 was rap-
i rock. Leading the pack were;
j Kid Rock, Korn and Limp *
j Bizkuit. Each had multl plat*
i inum albums out this year. *
j So, who will fiame out the
: fastest? Kid Rock. Take away
j the trailer trash allure, the
i incoherent song titles and the
j dope-smoking midget and
! you’ve got a roadee for Winger
: infecting the world with the
I most embarrassing rhyming ■
i skills of any artist working
I today.
j Limp Bizkuit and Korn
: should be sticking around for
j a while. Limp has benefltted
i from the fact that Fred Durst
i is not a punch line (yet, any-
! way). Plus, collaborating with
i Method Man will add five
: years to anybody's career.
Korn can cash in on this
i trend for maybe two more
j albums — after that, the fad
j will be over and so will they.
Thank God Rage Against
! The Machine wasn’t thrown
| into the same group as the
: Korn and Limps of the world-
: This band stands above the ■
! latest trendsetters and should
! go on to a long and prosper-'
i ous career — as long as they
i can get along with each other,
j The members havV a tur-
j bulent and well-documented
j history of internal turmoil.
I These four guys parting ways
i is a very real possibility, and I
: think we might only see one -i
! or two more albums out of |
: this group before they call it
; quits.
Wu Tang Clan is slipping
: but can rebound as long as
i they don't get shot and can
j stay out of jail (“Mr. Bastard.
! please rise”).
One of the biggest groups
i that arose in the ’90s was the
: BUgees. They could go on to
: legendary status, but egos wt 1
: have to be put aside for this !
: to happen. Each member is
| good enough to make it solo
(Pras being the weak link),
I and that's gonna make it
i tough for this group to stay
! together. Even if they don’t,
: expect a big reunion 10 years
! after they break up that will
: sell millions of records.
So why listen to me?
I'm not a famous music
j critic. I’m not even the musii
j critic for this paper.
You can base your declsloi
! on the simple fact that we lik :
: listening to crap. If you don’t
I believe me. look at the
j Billboard charts for the past
j year. This proves that some-
i times your guess is as good a
j mine.
— Patrick Saunders is i
j Junior in telecommunition .