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The Red & Black | Wednesday, February 14, 2001 1*5
Am I hot or not? Viewers give reporter 9.1 sex appeal
By ANDI HERMAN
For The Red a Black
It’s that time of year again.
Valentine’s Day is here, spring is
coming, the birds and the bees
are going at it, and we’re all feel
ing frisky.
Unfortunately, some of us are
feeling single too.
I’ve been listening to some of
my friends rag on Valentine’s Day
for weeks, and being the caring
friend that I am, I’ve found a
surefire way to shut them up.
Three words, one URL.
AmIHot.com.
That’s right, all it takes is
posting one little picture on this
Web site to get back creative
compliments such as “cute,” “u r
cute” and “cute pic.”
Not only can you post your
own picture, you can rate others.
Gentlemen, you can find your
self a hot, hot lady (or an over
weight pedophile who’s posted a
picture of a hot lady) just by
SPECIAL | The Red a Black
A Reporter Andi Herman
puts her picture to the test.
browsing through the site.
They even make it-easier for
you by dividing pictures into cat
egories. High scorers are posted
in the “Favorites” section, new
posts are in the “Fresh Meat” sec
tion, and everyone else is herded
into what they call “The
Stockyard.”
Thousands of pictures are
posted, just waiting for you to
reduce a human being into noth
ing but a number.
Browsing through them all can
seem a little overwhelming. But
since I am a dedicated, bored
journalist, I’ve picked out some of
the site’s highlights. I also hap
pened to have a gorgeous photo
of myself lying around, so I went
ahead and posted that too.
I first went to AmIHot.com
with the intention of making fun
of it, but the site does a great job
of turning the tables on you. Its
slogan is “We Survive Off Your
Insecurity.” Slabs of meat serve
as backgrounds on pages, and
the button you click to post a pic
ture reads “Let’s Go Cattle!”
It’s necessary to register with
the site before you can upload a
picture and receive a logon, and
you’re required to give out a
name, e-mail address, ZIP code
and country.
Everything else is strictly
optional. AmIHot.com wants to
know your race, your eye color,
your gender (hermaphrodites are
included), your body type (“Fat
Bastard” was my favorite choice),
and what kind of underwear you
prefer. (Warning: if you select
“unspecified” from the choices
available, your bio will say you
enjoy not wearing underwear —
like mine did.)
The reigning best question,
however, remains “Top or
Bottom?”
After uploading your picture,
it’s reviewed by the site and post
ed within 24 hours.
In 12 hours, I had been voted
on by 20 people and had an over
all score of 8.4.
Lots of users recognize the site
for what it is — a good laugh.
There are photos of people in
rainbow wigs and fake buck
teeth, skinny 13 year-olds show
ing off their nonexistent biceps,
and old fat men rubbing then-
beer bellies.
Then there are the contenders.
These are people who see
their score as validation that
they’re hot.
Women pander for 10s, finding
their way around AmIHot’s “No
nudity, no wet t-shirts” rule. They
throw in see-through shirts and
pictures of girls kissing each
other.
My boring, non-lesbian head-
shot is doing pretty well. I’ve
been posted for a week, received
about 100 votes, and I’m current
ly a 9.1. Besides the requisite
postings of “very cute” and
“you’re beautiful,” I’ve had some
interesting compliments.
“Those eyes could stop a
storm’s fury!” Skitzl466 said.
I’d better call the Weather
Channel and let them know.
According to Craigfiend, not
only am I “a modem day Helen of
Troy,” I’ve also got “the beauty of
Rachel Leigh Cook, the sarcasm
of Twain, and a unique intellect.”
He says he’s coming to
Georgia to wage war for me.
Just so long as he brings a
teddy bear and roses.
ANDES STATS
Title: Georgia Girl
Rating: 9.1
There have been 94 votes so far
Photo description: "No I will NOT
make out with you!!!!"
Name: Andi3eb
Age: 18-21
Race: White/Caucasian
Sex: Female
Sexuality: Straight
Country: United States
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
College: University of Georgia
Occupation: Student
Andi3eb enjoys not wearing any underv.
wear T
Hobbies: Integer factorization, knitting^
motorcycle/dykes on bykes, building
sand castles, sharpening knives, churning
butter, drinking/getting drunk, falling oft
roofs, donut making, making soap, body
piercing, stalking, taking showers, cow tip
ping
Biography: Please God don't take-
anything you see on here seriously. Except*
that.
A good time means: A good time is;
when you don't remember a thing from the
night before, but you've got an extra $20 ig,
your purse and no burning sensation wheg
you pee.
LEESELAH, MY FAVORITE REDHEAD,
YOU’RE. MY bestest friend and other half of my Thanks for always keeping me in line and always
brain. May the “Pit-monster” live forever! I love ya, overreacting with me. Don't forget...! did it all for...
girl! Killer
Dahsey
MY PHOTO STAFF,
Becky, Dan, and Kendra, you guys kick butt. My
life would not be as much fun without you guys by
my side.
Stephen
JEFF,
...BUT LOVE is a durable fire
In the mind ever burning:
Never sick, never ok), never dead
From itself never turning.
I love you Jeff.
Amy
JAS,
HAPPY VALENTINE'S Day! I love you, Boy How
dy! Love,
Me
JESSICA,
HERE’S A tip worth more than )5%! I’ll wait on
you anytime baby! Hehe.
Your sexy waiter
BRYAN,
THANK YOU for teaching me what love is.
You have been a true blessing in my life! I
love you Baby!
Karen
BUBBA,
THERE ISN’T a day that I don’t thank God
for you. When I found you, I found my
missing hall. I love you.
Your man
| TO MY ONE & only, Miriam,
( When I think about you, all my worries go
, away. You brighten my work) with your lov-
, ing way.
. Michael
SHEVARIS,
THANKS FOR everything! You’re too good to me
and I appreciate it! Have a lovely day and I’ll see
you soon
Shir Shrin Skin
STEPHEN,
[ YOU ARE the love of my life I’m forever
, thankful to God tor having you. Thanks for
t believing in me. my love
i Audra
SQUIRREL,
YOU'LL ALWAYS be my butter bean. Looking for
ward to age 30. Best friend numero uno. Love ya!
Suzanne
JESSICA & MARY BETH,
Thanks for always helping out with everything.
You two are the greatest ad assistants ever. Love
ya!
Regina
DARCEY,
IF YOU can't be a rock star, just party like one.
Thanks for bringing a smile to my face.
Your biggest fan
, SIDEBURNS,
| EVERYDAY IS Valentine's Day with your
smile, your kiss, and your love I love you al
ways and forever.
Scooby
DEAREST NATHAN,
YADDA yadda yadda.
All of my love forever. Snowflake
♦
¥
*
¥
*
t
DEAR DAVE,
FLOWERS are great,
as is a love-letter.
But after thirty-two years,
a dinner is better!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Love,
Mary
* SHAGGY,
^ IT’S BEEN five years since we met and I
V cherish every memory. I will love you with all
V of my heart forever.
* Bubbles
PANDA & CLEO,
Together we’ve learned to tell time, rhyme and
talk. Ya’II are the best roomies EVER! I love ya
both!(Zeus says hi!)
Dilfer
POOH WOMACK,
I’M so lucky having you in my life. You’re my BF
and the love of my life. You make me a better per
son nub.
Beeza
OUR GIRLS,
LOOKING forward to our romantic pot luck
evening! It’s better to be single tonight anyways!!
Love ya!!
Rachel & Katie
PAM,
THANKS FOR always cooking for me and being a
fabulous roommate and sister. I love you and I’ll
miss you next year.
Kid
LAURA,
IT’S BEEN fun working with you! You’re a sweet
girl. Hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!
Karen
CURLY,
FROM THE day we met, you have been my
everything. My love for you will be endless
and always plentiful.
Love, bacca
JIM,
HAPPY VALENTINE’S Day Angel! I am so happy
you are here with me. You mean the world to me. I
love you.
Mandy
SNUGGLEBUNNY,
I WANT you to know that I thank God you were
given to me, and you mean the world to me.
Shmily!
Temptress
CHRISTINA,
BABY GIRL, I hope you know how much I love
you. We have been together 9 months, let's make
it a year!
Orion
TO: EVERYONE
WS Have a wonderful
V Valentine’s Day!
From: SGA Presidential &
Vice Presidential Candidates
Lhoris & Trapper
JAMES,
HONEY, YOU know I love you so much and I want
to spend my life with you, but please get me flow-
, ers.
Kerri
JANA,
WITHOUT YOU, the office wouldn't be nearly as
much fun! I’m glad to have gotten to know you.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Darcey
ROBB,
HAPPY VALENTINE’S Day. You are my
sweet sweet candy pow! I love you.
Mariel
JLCUDNIK,
HEY SWEET Buns. I hope you're having a won
derful day! There is so much to say but I ran out of
space!
RMK
ELI,
I LOVE you so much! Thanks for staying with me
for so long. I’m hoping for at least another seven
years.
Nat
JESS,
ONCE A man of constant sorrow, now you are my
sunshine. Let’s go down to the river to pray cause
I’m bona-fide.
Chris
«*¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥
BRADLEY,
2 YOU ARE the love ol my IHe. Your beauty is
2 like a diamond in a sea of coal. The touch of
^your skin is as smooth as silk. Your kiss
v makes my heart run wild, You will always be
^ my Valentine Love.
wMatt #35
SAMANTHA,
WAS YOUR daddy a thief? I think he stole the
stars and put them in your eyes! Thanks for mak
ing me smile!
Your secret admirer
MY EMOTIONAL MANAGER,
Even though we’ve had hard times, you’re al
ways there tor me. You can make me smile when
no one else can. You are by far the cutest, and
you will hok) a special place in my heart forever!
Love, Machu Pichu
, WANTED:
, ONE GOOD Bacca. Must enjoy shootin’,
pfishin', drag racin', buntin' rubber, rods a
.plus Cows, chickens a must Take me home
^forever.
\ Curty/Apt. 530
df lanapn'ss
^SALOON & EATERY
ELIZABETH,
ON THIS 14th day of February, I want to
thank you for 14 wonderful months. Happy
Valentine's Day. Love always,
Chris
PUDDIN’ YOSHING,
YOU’RE the best. Can't wait to live with you when
we re 35. Stop sticking your toes in my face. It’s
annoying.
Butterbean
YOLLI,
BE MY valentine! Please, please, please! You are
so foxy! I want to smooch you like a hound dog on
a Friday night.
Your man
J KRISTAN,
2 THE BEAUTY of your heart and your soul
2 eases my mind avarytlma i think of you. I
2 love you more as each day passes. You are
v always with me. Love,
M Blake
Z Gifts SPor four Sweetheart Z
10% off with Student Id)
^ The Garden Gate Ca "° L£ s
The
Moon
— And —
V
V
w
:
GLOOMY EEYORI, 2
THAKS for all the hunny. I can “bearty stand 2
"■ z
Pooh ▼
ANDREA,
SURPRISE! HAPPY Valentine's Day Sweetheart.
I hope our second one and all the rest are as good
as the first. I love you,
John
SWEET PEA,
“LOVE is a canvas furnished by nature and
embroidered by imagination."-Voltaire
Princess
TARA,
I THINK the world of you. All of my heart I do.
Blood through my veins for you. You alone have
all of me. Love you.
Bryan
® JASON MCDUFFIE SUGAR, ®
® Wishing you a very special Valentine's. You ®
mean so much to me. I Love You!! Hugs & ®
? Kisses. Your one and only,
® Jessica Tripp ^
0 «
SUNNY,
FROM CYCLING across Georgia to paddling with
alligators, you've shared and helped make my
fondest memories over the past two years
Thanks
Dan
7^ In the of Mve Points
1700 S. JCumpkin St. 354-1188
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Genuine Pearl .Necklace <§' Matching fairings
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