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Friday, September 7, 2007 | The Red & Black
Juanita Cousins | Editor in Chief
editor@randb.eoni
Matthew Grayson ! Managing Editor
me(a ra ndb.com
JoAnn Anderson | Opinions Editor
opi n ions(ara ndb.com
Opinion Meter
A wrap-up of the week’s ups and downs
Flip-flop cream of the shoe crop
In addition to the health hazards,
wearing flip-flops in public is sure to
be the cause of a socially-retarded
moment or two. For example, when
you’re walking across campus, and C L
someone steps on your heel, and your \ f
flip-flop comes off, and you have to
turn around, fight the crowd, go back,
pick up your shoe, and all the while
you’re hobbling with one shoe on and
one foot bare, and people are starting
to laugh ... All we’re saying is be care
ful out there.
Mission: Exploding Muffins?
We learned this week the University
Bomb Squad does so much for the
University and the state of Georgia
while operating with so little money.
These real-life Jack Bauers oper- J)
ate under the tensest of conditions, r—f jhy
whether the actual endings of the sit- -rjy
uations result in imploding bombs or
pastries. We salute these officers for
their hard work, but hopefully nothing
will come to our campus that would
require their services.
Childcare woes
The SLC, Ramsey and a host of other
swank buildings may draw prospec
tive students to the University, but
what about faculty who are consider
ing settling down in Athens and need r~~"3
a child care program for their kids? I
As it is, we have McPhaul Children’s 'ey
Center, a facility with a waiting list
250 strong. If we’re truly to improve
academic rigor at this University, we
need professors who are here to stay,
not ones that get the itch to leave the
minute that strip turns blue.
Lights, camera, action
This week Georgia Gov. Sonny
Perdue, Miss America Lauren Nelson ~
and Chick-fil-A cows made fashion
able appearances at the University. rj
We’ve had more cameos in recent
days than a Will Ferrell movie. Next
time the cows make it rain we request
some chicken nuggets ... and sauce.
The Great Paper Caper
OK, you paper thieves, you stumped
our staff on Tuesday when 3,000 cop
ies of The Red & Black went missing
from campus bins. We’ll keep an eye ( 1 3
out for you ink-stained wretcheds \
when you try to redeem all those cou- V
pons. In the meantime, we’re content
in thinking that you must love us
really, really love us.
Cock-a-doodle-don’t
We opened the season last Saturday
by stomping a bona-fide Division I-A j)
team. This weekend we’ll show Steve r\ jfe
Spurrier that you don’t bring a cock Uijrv?
to a dogfight.
Quote of the week: “It is a five-letter word that
is the foundation of everything I know about
leadership the lubricant of society trust.”
Sonny Perdue during his Sept. 5 campus
visit about what makes great leaders.
ONLINE POLL RESULTS:
Who stole the papers from the paper bin?
Greeks - 26 percent
Red & Black staff - 22 percent
Pharmacy students - 21 percent
Michael Adams & Cos. -16 percent
The Freshmen Seven - 8 percent
ATF officials - 7 percent
Our Staff
NEWS: 706-433-3002
News Editor: Alexis Garrobo
Associate News Editor: Melissa Weinman
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Chief Photographer: Josh Weiss
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Pearman Parker, Samuel Steinberg, Sarah Watkins
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Taylor, Ashley Twist
Stringers: Rusty Bailey, Aaron Barton, Brad Bostwick,
Kristen Boyd, Paul Cherian, Kevin Copp, Ryne Dennis.
Opinions expressed in The Red A Black other than unsigned editorials are the opinions of the writers of signed columns
and not necessarily those of The Red and Black Publishing Company Inc. Al rights reserved. Reprints by permission of the
editors
Editorial board members include Matt Brandenburgh, Jay Butler, Juanita Cousins, Matt Grayson. Jacquelyn Greenwood,
Bill Richards. JoAnn Anderson.
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Opinions
mi
Eternal future not so bright
I’ve come to a recent
realization: I’m going
to be dead for eternity.
That’s an amount of
time that’s incomprehen
sible to the human mind,
and, personally, I would
prefer for my soul not to
spend all of its time in the
fiery confines of hell.
Kind of wanting to avoid
this outcome, I decided to
delve myself into reading
up on any way to avoid
never-ending torture. I
mean, I can barely stand a
paper cut, so I don’t even
want to imagine hell.
Also, there’s no way
this research can be a
waste of time since the
consequences of my deci
sion actually will resonate
with me for all of eternity.
Let’s see if that excuse
flies with my professor for
why my paper’s late.
Unfortunately, there
appears to be a lot of reli
gions to choose from.
But if I make the wrong
choice then I will cement
myself further as being
owed limitless punish
ment in the eyes of the
Eternal Judge.
This decision seems
slightly more important
than choosing what to eat
for breakfast.
Luckily, this Eternal
Spirit judged my pre-bom
soul to be worthy enough
to be bom into a society
where I would be able
to make choices when it
comes to my faith.
I feel pity for the
poor Chinese farmers or
African villagers who toil
away just to be fated for
hell because they weren’t
bom with better options
that’s pretty rough.
Mailbox
E-mail and letters from our readers
Flans need to boost spirit this weekend
Need more of a reason
to scream and cheer on
the Dogs this weekend?
According to the
coach of Oklahoma
State, our noise levels
were nothing special. He
mentioned that Florida
State and Florida, which
he called “extremely
loud,” and Big 12 sta
diums at Nebraska,
Oklahoma and Texas
A&M all ranked more
difficult to play in when
compared to our own
Sanford Stadium.
Fellow Dog fans, those
stadiums all seat less than
Sanford.
These are fightin’
words. There is no reason
that we, as the fifth larg
est stadiium in college
football, cannot be the
toughest venue to play
in. Get on your feet, sing
“Glory” till your voice is
hoarse and scream your
heart out.
The LSU game of 2004
was the loudest cheering
I have ever heard inside
Sanford, and I know if we
try, we can do it again.
South Carolina won’t know
what hit them. Go Dogs.
TYLER STINSON
Senior, Acworth
History
Be kind don’t
sit in alum seats
I was inspired to write
in after reading Tyler
Estep's Sept. 6 column
about student tickets.
Students, if you don’t
3.
Drew Lichtenstein
▲
“I mean, I can barely
stand a paper cut,
so 1 don’t even want to
imagine hell. ”
It doesn’t seem, though,
that deciding which reli
gion to follow is enough.
You apparently really
have to narrow it down if
you want to have your soul
accepted into Paradise.
I kind of think all of it
is the same, but I wouldn’t
tell that to the millions
who have died throughout
the centuries for believing
the wrong religion in the
wrong place.
Fortunately, we live in
a society far removed from
such petty squabbling
because I’ve never had
anyone tell me I was going
to hell if I didn’t follow
their particular beliefs.
And I’ve never read
about anyone killing any
one else over religion in
the news. Yup, good thing
that never happens.
Choosing the right reli
gion isn’t the free ticket,
though. See, once you nar
row down what you think
will be good for getting
E-MAILING US
Questions, comments,
complaints? Here’s where
to point and click:
Letters I opinions@randb.com
News Tips i news@randb.com
have a stub for a seat
you are sitting in and you
aren’t in a designated stu
dent section, don’t be an
@%3 and just stand there
when someone who pays
a lot of money shows you
a legit ticket stub.
I graduated in 2005 and
I know how the student
section works I did it
for four years.
But if you are going to
sit in a non-student sec
tion, you have to be will
ing to move.
I’m ashamed to say
I’ve never been to a game
as an alumnus in which
some student wouldn’t
move after being shown a
ticket.
Some @%s even had
the audacity to ask am old
man a row in front of me
this past week, “Are you
even a student?” News
flash: you aren’t in the
student section, moron.
I understand completely
the students embody the
most spirit, but remem
ber, alumni contributions
go a long way toward
ensuring y’all have a
pleasant college expert-
Gnce.
I don’t mind rowdy. In
fact, I love it, and I’m
Red&Black
An independent student newspaper serving the University of Georgia community
ESTABLISHED till. INDEPENDENT
your soul into heaven (and
hopefully you made the
right choice), you’ve got
to follow the rules —and
there are a lot of rules.
I can’t think of a good
reason why God the
Creator of an intricate and
complex universe with bil
lions upon billions of gal
axies containing billions
upon billions of stars, each
governed by amazingly
complicated scientific
laws and rules at the sub
atomic level wouldn’t
care about the clothes you
wear, what you do on the
Holy Day (by the way, is
that Saturday or Sunday?)
and the who, what, where
and why of the people you
choose to have sex with.
Of course, none of
this really matters since
the Divine Eternal surely
already has my fate pre
determined.
It’s a little frustrating
to think I’m sitting here
worrying about the con
sequences of my actions
when, really, whatever I
do was known before the
universe was created.
I think it’s a little unfair
to be punished or reward
ed for those actions, but I
guess “free will” isn’t what
it’s cracked up to be.
So I guess there’s no
avoiding it l’m going
to hell.
However, based on
most everything I read,
there’s a good chance the
rest of you are, too.
At the very least, we’re
all in this together - for
ever and ever, amen.
Drew Lichtenstein
is a junior from Marietta
majoring in history.
right there standing with
y’all most of the game,
but please be respectful
of the alumni and their
rights to their seats
especially the older ones.
F. BROOKS ZEIGLER
Alumnus, Savannah
Management
More students,
more cheering
In light of recent com
plaints and personal obser
vations over Georgia foot
ball and student tickets, I
propose the following.
First, all students be
granted the right to a
Ml season of tickets at a
higher price than current.
Let’s say S2O a game.
The Athletic Association
gets their money, we get
our tickets and Sanford
Stadium becomes an even
more intimidating place
to play.
Second, all student
tickets become general
admission. Those who get
there early get their pick,
others go upstairs to the
600 level.
Finally, anybody who
doesn’t know to shut up
on offense and yell as loud
as possible on every down
of defense needs to be
escorted from the stadi
um immediately as if they
had just gotten caught for
underage drinking.
RYAN MCDEERMOND
Graduate Student,
Richmond Hill
Science Education
A
Jeremiah Johnson
A
Hybrid sport
beats others
hands-down
In 1993, a group of
businessmen staged
a contest they
dubbed the Ultimate
Fighting Championship.
Advertised as “There
are no rules!”, the event
sought to answer the
age-old questions of
“Can a boxer beat a
karate fighter?” and
“Can a wrestler beat a
judo champ?”
Soon afterward, the
UFC and the sport
of mixed martial arts
(MMA) exploded.
Fighters learned how to
mix deadly striking with
wrestling and jiu-jitsu
submissions. No longer
could a one-dimensional
fighter survive in MMA.
Today, MMA is the
world’s fastest-growing
sport. Contests are
fought under ath
letic commissions and
the Unified Rules of
Conduct, separating the
sport from its bloody,
no-holds-barred past.
Victory can come
from a knockout, sub
mission attempts such
as chokes and joint
manipulations, or a
judge’s decision if the
fight does not end in the
allotted rounds.
Having been a fan
of MMA for some time,
in the past year I’ve
started training. About
four times a week I train
in boxing, wrestling and
jiu-jitsu at The Hardcore
Gym here in Athens.
While the sport isn’t
for everyone, I can say
it’s the most fun I’ve
ever had with any sport
or athletic activity, peri
od. Getting punched
in the face on a regular
basis might not be your
definition of a great
time, but in a strange
way it works for me. I’m
convinced MMA is the
greatest sport in the
world.
What makes MMA
the best? The purity
and realness of the com
petition. When you are
playing basketball, you
want to beat the other
guy, but you do so by
putting a ball through
a hoop. In football, you
try to cross a line to
claim victory.
“Getting punched in
the face might not
be your definition of
a great time, but in
a strange way it
works for me. ”
While I’m a fan of
both sports, there’s
something strange
about claiming superior
ity because you can put
a ball in a hoop more
times, or because you
crossed the line more
often, or because you
kicked a ball through
two yellow poles. Who
cares about that stuff?
With MMA, two men
enter the cage or the
ring, and one man walks
out victorious. There is
no artificial or abstract
goal; instead, the goal is
to force your opponent
to quit via a submission
or to knock him out so
he is unable to continue.
Other than a few
common sense rules
against moves like bit
ing, eye-gouging and
head butting, there’s
absolutely nothing con
trived about it.
Impose your will on
the opponent by any
means necessary, and
fight until one man can
no longer continue or
gives up. That’s the
essence of MMA, and to
me, it’s more pure and
real than any sport in the
world.
Jeremiah Johnson
is a junior from
Lawrenceviiie
majoring in
economics.