Newspaper Page Text
16
THE ATLANTIAN
July, 1922.
Where Shall We Eat?
CHEF LEONARD
Thornton’s Cafeteria*
72 North Forsyth Street
RIALTO THEATRE BUILDING
ALL EXPLAINED.
“Fifty dollars for six photo
graphs?”
“That’s what I paid.”
“Where d5es the work come in to
justify such prices?”
“Well, they look like you and yet
they don’t look like you. There’s
where the fifty dollars comes in.”—
Louisville Courier-Journal.
OUR SPRING THRILLER.
“I’ve got you at last,” he cried,
“move if you dare, move! It’s taken
me many years, but at last I’ve got
you where I want you! Now I dare
you to move!”
“Yep, you’re right,” replied his
friend, “it’s the first game of check
ers you ever did win from me.”—Treat
’Em Square.
THE SLAMBACK.
The Comedian: Hey, you, my
dressing room is hot enough to fry
eggs.
The Stagehand: Don’t worry; it
isn’t hot enough to cook a ham.—
Youngstown Telegram.
TRULY, BROTHER.
“What are the wild waves saying?”
she murmured poetically as they
strolled the beach.
“I dunno, exactly,” he replied, with
a gulp. "But th’ waves of twenty
years ago’d be shocked if they could
hear it. I bet!”—Richmond Times-
Dispatch.
Prospects who are not expert me
chanics will think twice before plac
ing their order for a car with a dealer
who advertises: “Spend your week
ends on the open road.”—Toronto
Telegram.
WHAT EVERY MOTHER WANTS,
ters): Is this baby's bonnet well
made?
Saleslady: Well made, Madam? It
will last your baby a lifetime.—Le
Journal Amusant (Paris).
THE OLD STEED.
From a Texas Obituary—“Just
about daylight the Pale Horse came
for him, with saddle and bridle of
righteousness, and he straddled it and
rode home.”—Boston Transcript.
THE SUSPENDED SENTENCE.
She: There’s the ermine I told you
I wanted. But you may find it a lit
tle—er—too dear.
He: Not at all. . The cost is noth
ing to me—
“Oh, how wonderf—”
“Since I don’t intend buying it for
you.”
—II Secolo XX (Milan).
FROM THE BACK SEAT.
Friend: What do you get out of
your car?
Married Man (who drives under in
fluence of his wife): Oh, about ten
thousand words to the gallon.—Flor
ida Times-Union.
A maiden fair to look upon,
Maria dwelt where settlers shiver
In white Quebec, near Lake St. John,
Across the Peribonka River.
Her father, Farmer Chapdelaine,
Was much too fond of pioneering;
He scorned the cultivated plain
And loved the lonely forest clearing.
She loved young Francois Paradis;
But Fate his life-thread rudely
scissored:
That fearless woodsban frank and
free
Succumbed to fierce December’s
blizzard.
Then suitors twain of good renown
Besought the melancholy charmer:
Lorenzo Suprenant from town,
And plain Eutrope Gagnon, a
farmer.
“Be mine!” Lorenzo urged his plea,
“And taste the joy of life in
Lowell!”
“Abide,” Eutrope, implored, “with me;
’Tis best to stick to those you know
well.”
But when Maria’s mother died,
Her doubts were solved; her vow
v^s spoken
To be the humble farmer’s bride;
For hers were bonds not lightly
broken;
For these were hers and she was
theirs;—
Her little church of heavenward
steeple,
Her homely duties, joys and cares,
Her simple, hardy, pious people.
And if you’d list a lovely song
Of life beyond our northern border
Where no one does a thing that’s
wrong,
This book is just the book to order.
—Arthur Guiterman.
LET “DAD DO IT”
207 Whitehall St.
CATHOLICITY.
The advocates of opera-in-English-
at-any-price recall Julian Street’s his
toric interview with William Jennings
Bryan some years ago. Street asked
him to name his favorite picture.
“The Madonna,” promptly replied
Mr. Bryan.
“Which Madonna, Mr. Bryan?”
“Any Madonna.”—New York World.
REST AND RELAXATION.
Doctor: You must take a complete
rest. By the way, what’s your occu
pation?
Patient: I’m an anarchist.
Doctor: Well, don’t throw any more
bombs for a month at least.—Punch.
“My gracious! You speak very
lightly, sir.”
“What can you expect, madam? I
do not know how to weigh my words.”
—Le Journal Amusant (Paris).
LIEBMAN
Real Estate, Renting
Loans, Insurance
53 North Forsyth Street
HEALEY BUILDING
Phones Ivy 2233-2234
>+++++ + ♦■
We cordially invite you to give
us an opportunity to serve
you in any of the Four
above mentioned
lines.