Newspaper Page Text
July, 1922.
THE ATIiANTIAN
17
“THE END”
That children often find interesting
those very things in newspapers which
parents would rather they did not was
brought home to a certain mother at
the time of the Landru execution.
Upon coming to the breakfast table
one morning she found her seven-year-
old daughter eating her oatmeal in a
state of great thrill.
“Mother,” the little girl said breath
lessly and with much joy, “Bluebeard
is dead!”
Mother swallowed hard, thought
quickly, and said quietly, “Is he,
Patsy?”—New York Evening Post.
MODERN MANNERS.
Scene: Top of a bus. Two young
women, apparently' clerks. Rain be
gins to fall.
First Girl: Conductor, any room
inside ?
Conductor: Only standing room,
miss.
First Girl: Any men sitting down?
Conductor: Three or four.
First Girl (to Second Girl): Come
on downstairs out of the wet.
Conductor (to the rest of the pas
sengers on the top): Well, that just
about wins it!—London Morning Post.
“Spiffins is the most henpecked man
in the world.”
“How come?”
“His wife makes him put on evening
clothes to sit home and listen to a
radio concert.”—Buffalo Express.
* THE PHILANTHROPIST.
An old woman went up to the fish-
hawker’s barrow and looked at his
stock with longing eyes. She was evi
dently very poor, for when the hawker
asked three-pence for a scaleful of
selected bits she hesitated.
“Have ’em at tuppence, mum,”
growled the hawker.
“No, it’s too much,” said the woman
dolefully.
“Have ’em at a penny, then.”
Still the old woman hesitated.
There was a look of pity mixed with
digust on the hawker's face, and,
turning from the woman, he said:
“Here, missus, I'll turn me back
while you sneak ’em.”—Pearson’s
Weekly (London).
LET “DAD DO IT”
207 Whitehall St.
HOW IT IS AT COLLEGE.
At one of the dormitories of a well-
known college for women two young
housemaids were comparing notes on
academic life.
“Well,” said Norah, dimpling, “the
faculty has the brains, and the college
girls has the clothes, but, believe me,
the maids has the looks!”—Youth’s
Companion.
PIITSBURGH, CHICAGO OR NEW
YORK?
“Waiter, bring me a glass of
water.”
“Yes, sir. What flavor, sir?”
Stephens & Hawk
Prescription
Druggists^..
14th and West Peachtree ATLANTA, GA.
Phones Hemlock 225-256.
We Want Your Trade
If Good* Reliable Goods, Lowest Possible
Prices, Fair and Square Dealing, Polite At
tention will get it, we can count on you for
a customer.
STEPHENS & HAWK
Rector*s Cate
NEW AND UP-TO-DATE
A CLEAN PLACE FOR
Ladies and Gentlemen
WHOLESOME COUNTRY COOKING
WELL SERVED
At Popular Prices
GROWTH.
He was a serious-minded youth.
“My experiences,” he said, “illustrate
a great truth in life. I shall write
them—develop them into a treatise on
human psychology.”
He grew to manhood. “Probably,”
he mused, “I had better convert this
idea into a novel. It would receive
greater attention—more people would
read it.”
Time passed. He wrote his idea in
to a short story, and the publishers
rejected it.
Finally, he received his inspiration.
He wrote a two-line joke, introducing
into it his idea, and sold the joke to
Life.—Georgia Cracker.
THE LIMIT.
“Bump is awfully henpecked.”
“Yes,, his wife lets him eat only the
things which agree with her.”
Doctor—No, you’ll not be able to
leave the house for a week at least.
She—Oh, dear! Then I shan’t see
Emily married! I’ve missed two of
her weddings already, and it may be
months before she’s married again!
170 PEACHTREE STREET
TOM DATOS, Manager
THE CAFE DeLUX
: 1 ; .... i ,y
ENCOURAGING.
He Who Is About to Take It Up:
Tell me. How long does it usually
take a man to learn to play golf.?
.He Who Has Given It Up: Well,
for the first five or six months you
play a pretty rotten game. After
that you grow gradually worse.
LOGIC.
“You want more money? Why, my
boy, I worked for three years for six
teen dollars a month right here in this
establishment and now I’m owner of
it.”
“Well, see what happend to your
boss. No can who treats his help that
way can hang onto his business."—
Boston Transcript.
MASTERPIECES.
He (at studio tea): Georgette is
an angel.
She: Bah! She’s all over paint.
He: But I never saw an angel that
hadn’t been painted.—Le Journal
Amusant (Paris).
“We should endeavor to concen
trate on higher things. I hope you
don’t think too much of the material.”
“Oh, dear no! I always let my
dressmaker pick it out!”
THERE’S ROOM FOR EVERYBODY.
The Joneses were deep in despair
As their son wasn’t really “all there,”
But their gloom is now joy
As they found that their boy
Was a movie scenario bear!
THAT TERRIBLE HABIT.
“Is there anything you care to
say?”
“Well, really,” retorted the golf en
thusiast from the scaffold, “would you
mind if I take a few practice
swings?”—Buffalo Express.