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Ho Leads Us On.
He leads us on,
By paths we do not know;
* Upward He leads ua, though our step
be slow,
Though oft wo faint and falter by the
way,
Though storm and darkness oft obscure
the day,
Yet, .when the clouds are gone,
We know He lead us on.
He leads us on
Through all the unquiet years;
Past all our dreamland hopes and
.dßStfljts and fears,
He guides our steps. Through all the
tangled maze
Os sin, or son ow, and o’er clouded days ,
We know His will is done,
And still he leads us on.
And He at last, j
After the weary strife,
After the restless fever we call life—
After the dreariness, and aching
pain— «
The wayward struggles, which have •
provid rr^ain —. ]
After our foils are past—
Will give us rest at last. '
Why lam Trying to Preach. *
- J'
Elder A. V. Simms, • <
Valdosta, Ga., 1
Dear Brother:—l have been re- J
quested by many to write a short «
sketch of my life in the ministry c
for the Pilgrim’s Banner; and t
while I now attempt to do so, yet s
still, I feel I have not the bright I
evidences that some of our min- 1
istering brethren are blessed t
with. i
BSome good brethren said to me a
from the time I was received into v
the church, and before I was bap- o
I would have to preach. But it
did not trouble me at that time,
however on the morning of the
seventh day after I was baptized
it occured to my mind what the
brethren had been saying to me
about it, and with the thought a
great dread or fear came over me
and I trembled at the thought.
I felt called upon to do something
that I knew I could not do. I tried
to think it was all a notion, and
had the brethren never mentioned
it I would never have thought of
it. But no, I could not feel easy
about it, and become so troubled
about it I could not rest at home,
at meeting, or anywhere. I would
Offen shed tears in thinking of it,
which I found then, as 1 have of
ten found since to be the only
thing that would alleviate the pain
of an aching heart.
So solemn and sacred was the
responsibilities of a minister of
the Gospel, that I prayed to die,
rather than assume such a
position. My father was a preacher
and I felt like I knew at least
some of the bitters connected with
such a life. But the main thing
was I thought I never could stand
in the sacred pulpit. I was too
sinful and ignorant, and why am [
I troubled about it? I know I
can’t preach. But I was so
troubled about it that I often
dreamed of being called upon to
take part in the services, and
would try, but could not speak.
When I Would think of my dreams,
I would know, it seemed, it would
be that way if I ever tried. For
several months I suffered much
mental torture thinking over these
things, I finally made up my mind
to sell my place to a certain neigh
bor who I knew had the money,
and leave the country. Jacob’s
words were continually in my
mind—“ How dreadful is the
place; this is none other than the
• house of God.” On Friday night
before I intended selling my farm
the next day, (and which was my
»@lje Pilgrim’s Banner.
“THOU HAST GIVEN A BANNER TO THEM THAT FEAR THEE, THAT IT MAY BE DISPLAYED BECAUSE OF THE TRUTH.”-Psalms 60: 4.
meeting day, though I did not in
tend going to meeting) I dreamec.
of trying to run away, and in one
day the mules I was driving be
came too poor to travel. When?
awoke next morning it was inter
preted to me in this way: If you
leave these good people that have
proven their love to you, will
surely come to want. I was afraid
not to’go, I was miserable:.
•Up to this time I had never
told anyone of my impressions,
but strafige to say old father Par
rish soon began to call on me to
engage in public exercise, as
though he knew my every thought.
But I would refuse, feeling that
it wasimposible for me to speak
in the great and dread name of
God; yet he treated me as tenderly
as a father would his own child;
and when I looked upon his pale,
but pleasant face just before his
body was entered •in the Parrish
graveyard 1 felt that my father
in Israel, if I had one, was gone.
I dreamed one night that the
deacons of Oat Creek church: viz:
Brethren Adams, Shaw and
Knight, earned me into the pulpit
ahd sat me down, and after some
one had talked, I was called on to
try. I started up but could not
speak. The people all seemed to
be effected, and shed tears as free
ly as I have ever seen them, even
under the sound of good preach
ing. When I awoke I felt easy
and my burden was gone, and 1
wished for an opportunity to talk
of the goodness of God. My mind
greatly illuminated, and! felt
comforted and strengthened wjiile
pondering over the precipus things
of the kingdom. I saw such
beauty in the work, and mercy of
God that I wanted to speak of it.
I now promised the Lord for the
first time that I would try to do
whatever He enjoined upon me.
Soon after this Elder P. T. Everett
preached at Cat Creek and when
the time for service arrived he
asked me to open the meeting for
him. But in this time I became
so troubled that I thought I would
feel better to be ottt of the church;
So 1 told the dear Elder that I
wanted to talk to the church while
in conference and ask them to drop
my worthless name from the roll.
He made aae believe they were in
confefenee & that time, so I arose
and for the first time tried to talk
and requested them to drop my
name—that I thought I would be
better off, and so would they be.
Elder Everett bursted into tears,
and said: “If you turn him out,
let me go too.” From this time
on I would sometimes try and
sometimes refuse. Sometimes I
would feel relieved after making
an effort, then, , again I would
make such a bad failure it would
almost make me sick, and would
resolve in my mind never to try it
again.
I have had many trials of dif
ferent kinds. It was about this
time some very grave and dam
aging charges was circulated a
gainst me; all of which I accepted
as evidences against me. And
had I never read in God’s good
Book, and had help from the Lord
to believe that the innocent should
not die, I should have given up
and fainted by the way.
In the winter of 1891 my or
dination was called for by two
churches —Antioch and Forrest
Grove; also my home church con
sented, and a presbytery was call
ed in and I was ordained Decem
ber sth. This was another severe
trial for me. To allow those dear
DEVOTED TO THE CAUSE OF CHRIST.
VALDOSTA, GA., APRIL, 1, 1895.
men of God to lay bands on me
and set me apart to the full work
of the ministry seemed more than
I could bear. My poor old father
was among them; he had known
me all my life. Oh! what a trial!
I know I did not desire these
things, only as I was made, I hope
to desire them by the indwelling
power of the spirit of God.
Now comes the part of my life
that I desire most to write about,
I was now about to enter upon a
work that I had said often during
my boyhood, I would never do—
serve churches. I had seen my
father leave home to attend his ap
pointments, leaving mother with
the tears rolling down her cheeks.
I had seen all this, and much
more—enough to keep me back
from such a troubledjife. I think
I might safely say here that I
would never have gone back on
my word had I not boen forced to
do so by some unseen power. I ]
lave had to leave wife and -wphil- 1
dren in tears behind, many, many <
times with my own poor heart <
feeling like it would burst with <
sorrow.
Among many other things that 1
troubled <ne was, I could not see 1
iow I could serve churches and
make a support for my family! I 1
did not think of the churches help- <
ing me in this at all at that time, j
and if I had, I should have knowki
that the two little churches I had
iegan to serve was not able to
help much. I now . labored bard >
to support my family and be able I
to serve my brethren free of cliffgUff
for I did not want to be burden-1
some to them. But alas! My
health soon failed, and my debts
accumulated so fast that at the
end of three years it taken all I
possessed in the world to pay them.
It did seem that I was called on
to prove—with a mighty effort,
whether I loved the Lord “more
than these” or not, for I had to
give up everything I had to keep
the fair name of Primitive Baptist
from trailing in the dust. This was
a severe trial to my weak faith.
Sometimes it seemed like I could
trust the Lord, but occasionally,
and very often too the thought
would come “what will i do?”
When I would think of the duties
of the church to her pastor, I
would think I was unworthy of
any help, and therefore could not
expect it. Brother Simins do you
remember the time you called on
the brethren at the Association to
help me ? I never was so surprised
in my life to find you had such
tender feeling for me, and I was
so ashamed of my poverty-stricken
condition that I could not hold up
my head. But after all it is the
greenest spot in my memory to
day. Not because they gave me
over SIOO, at that meeting, but the
PROOF THEY GAVE THAT THEY LOVED
me. When the meeting had closed
brother Tom Murphy—-a man
that I did not think had ever
given me any reason to believe he
cared anything for me—came to
me in tears and said he had
given me all he had but
he was not satisfied, and he had
borrowed five dollars more and
had come to bring it to me. I
> speak of this in connection with
my many trials, because I feel that
the Lord gave me a lasting as-
> surance that he would provide for
t me, by opening the hearts of the
■ dear brethren, sisters and friends
- to minister to my needs. The in-
- trinsic value of the money sank
i into insignificance, as compared to
r the love which caused them to do
; it, <‘Hid the blessed assurance of
(idfl’s protection of me a poor sin
ner. Oh! how good God is.
• My mind led me to give up my
old home, the my child-
Jwod, and come h«e. This was
aifothcr sore trial’to me. To leave
thosehlear saints who had been so
generous and kind to me, and who
had so patiently Borne with my
weakness was a bitter trial in-
They had given me a home
when I was homeless; they had
bgprf'niy friends when I felt to be
friendless. They had stood with
me in all my toils, and when I was
in chains they were not ashamed
of my chains; when I was sick
they visited me, and would shed
tears of sympathy around my bod.
These told me that behind
those tears was a sympathzing
heart.
But my mind led me away; and
I shall never forget the sad even
ing I left my little home. Just as
the wagons was beginning to roll
off, my little boy three years old,
commenced running over the yard
crying, and saying, “papa what
will we do?” No tongue can tell
nor pen portray the anguish of
my poor heart at that moment
Indeed what were we to do? But I
found that I must
taste Os the bitters if I would en
joy the sweets. The children of
Israel ate the Lamb that is called
m th&Bible the “Passover” with
sitter merbs. We cannot serve God
withojit a sacrifice; and I have
been jpade. glad many times, while
’tllJli’W'p 11iat (Hie of* n 1
life \ < i
I awunable Bow to do any
ual Xbor whatever, and every
thingxlooks very gloomy at times.
At other times I feel hopeful, and
want to trust the Lord, and be
lieve I shall have all I need in
this world. I cannot hope for
much, neither do I desire much.
I have a pleasant home here—one
that my fmaily is well pleased
with; and better still, it is surround
ed by many good lovely, faithful
Baptists, who visit us often and
see for themselves what is needed
and furnish it. Ju this they prove
in a substantial way that they love
me, love God and are willing to
obey Him. If I was asked the
question which He asked the dis
ciples on their return from their
journey: “Have ye lacked any
thing:” my answer would be simi
lar to theirs. “No.”
lam now trying to serve three
churches and the most distant one
is only ten miles. One of these
churches had twenty seven added
to her number from January to
year. Another was
constiiuted last September with
twenty-one members, and now
numbers thirty. The third I have
only been serving a few months.
One ; has been added to it. I cannot
but take these as evidences that
the Lord had something for me to
do here. When ray meeting days
come I am always glad, with lit
tle exception. I am not like I used
to b(J; Tam anxious to go, I cannot
then I think I have
become more submissive to God’s
wii I used to be. I delight
mpregiliis service, and I hope I
ant, willing, daily coming unto
that is disallowed in
deed, but chosen of God
and precious,” which is Christ, the
Lord. -
Now pother Simms in conclu
sion,!, want to write in the way of
encourifeement to Deacons R. L.
Hqfeson ahd J. JD. Smith, and let
them know that I fully endorse
them in their recent writings in
the Banner. I want to say to
them and all other deacons to
write and talk more about the
things so necessary in the church
of God, for I must think it will
have a better effect, .than for
preachers to write and preach
about it.
It is invariably the case when
deacons are given their charge,
they are charged with the re
sponsibility of seeing after those
things, and rightly too, I think.
Then if so he is better capable,'of
knowing what the preacher needs,
than he himself. There was a
time since the organization of the
church that there was no deacons.
“But when the number of disciples
had increased, there arose a mur
meringof Grecians against the He
brews, because their widows were
neglected in the daily ministra
tion. Then the twelve called the
multitude of the disciples and said:
It is not reason that we should
leave the word of God and serve
tables, wherefore look ye out
among you seven men of honest
report, full of the Holy Ghost and
wisdom, whom we may appoint
over this business; but we will
give ourselves continually to
prayer, and to the ministry of the
word. Acts vi chapter.
I know that Paul taught it too
plainly to be denied, that it is
the duty of the churches to take
care of her pastors, and I will
xv. 26 ar d 27. Ist Cor. ix. 11.
Gal, vi. 6, Also Christ taught tire
Matitrolo. Luke x 17. I think
it should be preached only when
deacons become slothful. And if
deacons should discharge their
duty and the members fail, then
something should be done; and
inasmuch as the Bible has said
that covetousness is idolatry, I
think if a case of coveteousness—
pure and simple, appears in our
churches, such an one should be
dealt with in the same way the
church deals in other things. But I
have known members who were said
to be stingy and close, who when
admonished to do f.o by the deacon
would respond freely. Baptist
sometimes have to bo told of their
duty before they- see it, and who
is more fitted for telling them than
the deacon? But I have some
fears that we have some members
in uur churches, who would not
do their duty in this respect, no
.latter who might tell them, and
the Apostle asks the question:
“How dwelleth the love of God in
him?” Such an one also proves
■
that he is without faith; for if
some reliable man was to come
to him and ask a loan of ten dol
lars, and promise to pay forty
next week, he would surely get it
if he had to borrow it; and in
doing so he would prove that he
had more faith in the promise of
man than the promise of God.
The church can do well without a
member who has neither the faith
nor love of God in his heart.
Now let me turn the picture
and look on the other side. Can
not preachers become covetous,
and want more than they need?
Israel’s shepherds did of old.
Read Ez. 34th chapter. They
were entitled to the milk of the
flock, but they ate the fat and
clothed themselves with the wool.
Now my dear burden-bearing
brethren in the Gospel, suffer my
to plead with you to be careful,
inasmuch as their is danger of
covetousness on both e-ides, let us
leave it with the deacons, only
when duty requires us to do other
wise. Elder Barwick’s faithful
talk on this subject at the Union
Association sank deep into my
heart; and I think all that heard
him received his words.
Deacons let a poor sinner per
suade you to lay hold of your du
ties and perform them faithfully
apd well. “For he that would use
the office of a deacon well, pur
chases to himself a good degree
and great boldness in the faith,”
If after you have done your work
in behalf of your pastor or some
needy one in the church and the
brethren will not respond as they
ought, do not become discouraged.
Now a word to the churches in
general. Do not treat the ap
pealing words of your deacons
with contempt. Remember you
yourselves placed him where 114 is,
and you should come to hj's re
lief. Such lethargy and neglect
of duty as this has caused the can
dlestick to be /removed and dark
ness, coldness ai d barrenness has.
followed as a result. \
I/fenox, Ga.
We hope our brethren and sis
tsrs will read the foregoing letter,
and read it slow.. It will profit
you.—S.
a Dade City, Fla.
Elder Leo Hanks:
Dear Sir. By your request I will
try to explain my feelings. I hard
ly know what to say. I feel so
unworthy to write to such a good
man as you are.
Since I met you I have had many
serious thoughts. I feel that I am
the worst sinner that ever lived.
All is darkness; jl cant see any way
out of it. Oh that I could under
stand and be with the children of
God. It is my desire to be, but I
have no hope now. ,„I hope you
will give me some encouragement
and I think you will. Sunday
evening you took did on surprise
and I wanted to get away to keep
you from talking tdme.
My parents were Methodists.
My mother died’two years ago. I
think she was a good woman and
is at rest- Oh how 1 long to meet
her therq, but without Jesus I can
do nothing. I have explained
some of my feelings, yet not like I
desire. I want you to pray for me,
I need the prayers of all good peo
ple. Write soon to me and encour
age me all you can.
Your most unworthy friend.
Mrs. Eunice G. Rogers.
None feel such anguish of soul as
the above but living subjects. When
grace illuminates our poor sinful
hearts, we view ourselves as mis
erable sinners. The Lord is gracious
ly leading this dear woman. Jesus
never turns away a poor beggar
empty. She is now a living child of
God. A child never cries without
life.— H.
No. 7 fc