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Vol. 3.
A WAIL BY THE WAY.
Weary, footsore, hungry, cumbered,
Fearful and fainting by the way;
while gross darkness,ills unnumbered,
Marks all the path wherein I stray.
My tongue unbridled speaks my want
Os fair discretion isolate :
While for errings tears repentant
Flow now no more to paliate.
My heart seems tnrned to adamant.
The fount of love as frozen o’er;
"While conscience, all indifferent,
Does not this state, so sad, deplore.
Dear Lord, and can it be I live?
And canst Thou own a wretch so vile?
Then once again the assurance give
That I may claim Thy pardoning smile.
Oh for that faith to hear and see,
Alone, what God to me hath said;
And that His law a lamp would be
As shining light upon my head.
Ah yes, and as in days agone,
To shine upon my weary way;
Nor leave me once again foreiorn,
But shine unto that perfect day.
Then with that shield, let Patience
have,
Her perfect work in me complete;
And Hope and Love’s deal labour pave
My way with joys divinely sweet.
Then with the preparation strong
Os gospel let my feet be shod;
Then all the rugged way along,
I’ll walk in fellowship witw God.
And when at last I come to meet
My last great foe, Oh be Thou nigh?
That I but fall down at his feet,
To rise and reign with Thee on high.
R. H. B.
Dear Brother Gold :—About a
year ago some one styling himself
“A lover of good tidings,” request
ed me, and several other preach
ers to give our experiences and
that some older
ones mentioned, would 'lead the
way, but none of them have writ
ten; therefore I will venture to
give a synopsis^of my exercises.
In my early life I was taught
that it was’right to read the script
ures, behave myself at* 1 preaching,
and show'a proper respect for wor
ship, and often when alone, I
would go through some sort of
a form of prayer, but I now feel
tha, whatever I did, was bringing
God under obligations to me, in
stead ot casting myself a helpless
pensioner upon his mercy.
When I was perhaps not more
than ten years old, I remember
thinking that if God would do
certain things for me, I would get
religion. I did not realize that
my plan wouldhnake God the beg
gar, instead of the bestower. I
felf that if I should be so kind to
God as to heed his beseeching me
to give him my heart, he would
then be under obligations to save
me, and would be unjust if he
did not do so. I had not yet seen
the vileness of my nature. I felt
that, on account of my morality, I
would be more likely to be saved,
than others with whom I was ac
quainted. My father sent me to
school a great deal, and though I
wa» not as studious as I might
have been, I acquired a sufficient
education to teach a common
school, and did so before I was
tweenty years old. After teaching
one year, I concluded to go to
school again, and secure a classical
education. While at school, a
protracted meeting was held near
the place, and I attended, though
at first, I took no part in the meet
ing. Finally, one night while the
preachers were calling for mourn
ers, one of my teachers, in whom
I had confidence, came to me and
asked me if I did not want religion.
I told him I did, and I really
thought I was sincere. I did not
g) to the mourner’s bench, but
simply kneeled at my Brat. As is
customary on such occasions,there
“THOU HAST GIVEN A BANNER TO THEM THAT FEAR THEE, THAT IT MAY BE DISPLAYED BECAUSE OF THE TRUTH.”—Psalms 60: 4.
was great excitement, one singing,
and another exhorting, and per
haps another shouting. And the
confusion was so great that I
could not concentrate my thoughts,
therefore, the next day, I dtt jr
mined to go off to the woods where
I could be more quiet and think
sobei ly about the salvation of my
soul. While there alone, upon my
knees, most of the day, I shed
many tears; as I then thought,
tears of repentance; but I now
think that they were merely tears
of earthly grief My grand-father
just died, and the preacher, as
such men usually do, had a great
deal to say about dead friends,and
told many pathetic anecdotes,
such as are calculated to stir up
natural sympathy; therefore 1
was grieving more about my grand
father’s death, than I was my sins.
Doubtless thousands of persons
are thus deceived, mistaking earth
ly sorrow for godly.
After spending the greater por
tion of two days in the woods, Sa
tan told me that if I would go to
the meeting house the next night
I would get religion. Accordingly
I went, and the preacher described
the borrows of hell in exciting
collors, and Satan excited me to a
very high pitch, and then with
drew his terrors, and began soothe
me, and tell me that I had religion,
I yielded to his bewitchings, and
thus became therefore I
know by experience, the meaning
of the “When
the unclean spirit is gone out of a
man, he waKeth through dry
res f an d : and find
t h none, he saith, I will return to
my house whence I came out
And when he conihth, he fiudeth it
swept and Then goeth
h% and taketh to him seven other
spirits Bsrofo wicked than himself,
and they entered in, and dwell
there: and the last state of that
man is worse than the first.” Luke
11:24, 26.
The unclean spirit was not cast
out, but merely went out, of its
own accord, therefore it could re
turn at pleasure, whereas if it had
been cast out, it could never return.
There is not an instance in the
scriptures of its returning after it
had been cast out.
Many of the students of the
school professed religion during
said meeting, but none of them
continued steadfast till the clos<
of the session, except myself, and
I was nothing but a full grown
Pharisee; therefore the evil spirit
returned to them in the shape of
carnal wickedness, but to me, in
the form of spiritual wickedness —
Satan transformed into an angel
of light. My having been thus
deceived, accounts for my being
so much opposed to excitements.
“A burnt child is afraid of the
fire.”
I remained in this deluded con
dition about two years, during
which time, I thought I was doing
great things for the Lord. Lest I
should commit a sin, on one occa
sion, though very hungry, I re
fused to eat a bunch of wild grapes
near the road, in the woods, and
not in any enclosure, forgetting
what David did when he was hun
gry, and what the disciples did
in the corn field on the Sabbatii
day. On another occasion, I
threatened to beat a fellow-student
for forcing his way into my room
on Sunday and thereby disturbing
me while reading my Bibble;
about to commit a greater sin in
order to prevent a lesser’’evil.
How foolish such conduct seems
to those who have eye to see! but
Pharisees are Hable to strain at a
JHlgrimg Bunner.
DEVOTED TO THE C YUSE OF CHRIST.
Valdosta, Ga., April 1, 1896.
gnat and swallow a canul.
In the mean time I joined the
Methodist and became remarkably
zealous of their doctrine, and I
verily thought that if Elder John
Stadler and a few others, who
preached like L<m, could be got
ten rid of, we could soon “Evan
gelize the world.” I thought that
whenever we could get our relig
ious operations in good plight,
Eld. John Stadler would come
along and preach a sermon which
would be like pouring cold water
upon fire, it would check the
whole.
Once at a protracted meeting,
I held a young man and exhorted
him till near midnight, thinking
that if I could be the means of
converting him, I would thereby
add one more star to my crown.
I, rayself, a' poor,blind Pharisee at
that time, knew nothing of the
true teaching of the Lord, and
from the fruits that I see, I fear
that many others are now occupy
ing a similar self-righteous posi
tion. in that condition
are more to be pitied than abused.
When I see others equally as good
by Mature as I am, permitted to go
on unchecked in their delusion, I
am made to exclaim:
“Why was I made tohear his voice,
And enter while ther’s room;
While others make a wretched
choice,
And rather starve than come.”
In the fall oi 1859,1 taught in
a private family, near Wylies
bnrg, Charlotte county, Va.; and
while there I believe tho Lord
sent the arrow of true convicrion
to my heart. I became disturb
ed, but could not understand the
cause. I did not think of its be
ing conviction, for I thought I was
already a Christian. Persons un
der conviction never know what
is the matter. “The wind bloweth
where it listeth, and thou heareth
the sound thereof, but canst not
tell whence it cometh, and whither
it goeth; so is every one that is
born of the spirit,”—John 3: 8.
Being thorough Armenian, I re
solved to pray my troubles otf;and
indeed, I felt that it would be a
small job, and soon completed,
but, to my utter suprise, the more
I prayed the worse I felt. As light
increase in my heart the darkness
disappeared, and my inbred sin
became more and more visible.
Light develops things which dark
ness hides. Paul says, “For I was
alive without the Law once: but
when the commandment came, sin
revived and I died.”—Rom. 7: 9
My foolish thonghts became
troublesome, and satan intruded
himself into all my efforts to wor
ship God. My troubles w r ere so
great that I was scarcely competent
to attend to my school. I was forc
ed from my schcol-room many
times during each day to pray
in secret; and then my conscience
would lash me with the idea that
I was not doing justice so my pat
rons. Thus I was in a strait
betwixt two, not knowing which
to choose. Satan would tell me
that if I did not kneel down aud
pray in the presence of the whole
school, I would be a hypocrite,
and God would not answer me.
He would quote, “For whosoever
shall be ashamed of me and of my
words, of him shall the Son of
man be ashamed, ween he shall
come in his own glory, and in his
Father’s,and of the holy angels.”
Luke 6: 29. Irealy thought it
was the spirit ol God wooing me
l ° humble myself; for I didn’t know
tlia| Jesus elsewhere said “Bu
rh(li,wlien thou prayest, enter in
to thy closet, and when thou ha
shut thy door, pray to thy Fathe
whijh is in secret; and thy Fathe
which seeth in secret shall re
wart thee openly.” Matt 6:6. It 1
very! difficult for convicted sinner
to decern between the operation
of tl® Spirit of God and the temp
tatiojis of Satan. He had the au
dacitv to try to persuade Jesus
thatjif Le did not convert the
st on >3 into bread, and jump dowr
fromithe pinnacle of the temple
he wirald not prove that he was;
the Spn of God.
Foi some weeks before I came
to the “end of the law,’’Satan
would tempt me to swear every
time 3 would kneel down to pray,
wherqas an never escap
ed my lips during my whole life.
While thus tempted, I would fre
quently hold my hand upon my
mouth, and clinch my teeth to
keep pie oaths from being utter
ed. T/y this temptation I learned
that tltere were oaths in my heart,
and th|at I was too weak to con
troll i|y thoughts:‘For out of the
abundance ot the heart the mouth
speaketh.”—Matt. 12“34. Up to
this tiihe I had considered my
heart ’ight good, but I now ielt
that if. was vile, and was the
sonree from which sprang all the
sins of which 1 had ever been
guilty.! During the last three
days, fll'vious to my delivery, I
was r s i free fiom said temp-
one minute at a
time vfflnle I was awake, and my
trouble'became so great that I
could ent and sleep but little. I
was really afraid to sleep, lest I
should awake in hell. About
twilight!one evening 1 was leaning
against the post oi a porch, look
ing at the frogs jumping over the
yard, and a dog lying near by, and
I thought their condition was pre
ferably to mine. They had no
souls, and I had one that I ieared
would suffer forever and ever I
feared that I had, for my last
time, seen the sun set. 1 did not
think that I could live many hours
and 1 felf unfit to die. The moon,
stars and skie seemed to look
gloomy, and I returned to my
room with the view of praying
as long as I had breath.
I thought kneeling down was
not low enough for such a sinner
as 1 was, therefore I fell down on
my face upon the floor and remain
ed there most all night. The
next evening while walking the
floor, wringing my hands in agony,
thinking that I h*ad committed the
unpardonable sin, and therfore
there was no mercy for me; I was
enabled, at this extremity, to sur
render all into the hands of God.
At this juncture there was a
small lapse of time in which my
thoughts were so completely taken
from earthly things, that I can not
tell what I was doing, or how my
burden passed off. The first thing
I knew my burden was gone, and
I was saying aloud, “I will trust
the Lord! 1 will trust the Lord!” A
calm feeling of love for God and
his people pervaded my sou], and
I was brought to love the same
Elder Stadler whom I had hitherto,
so much persecuted, and greatly
desired to converse with him, but
he died before 1 had an opportu
nity to do so.
Whether I am a Christian or
not, I can safely say there has
been a striking change in my re
ligious feelings and views. Soon
after the departure of my burden
I stood near the same place where
I stood the previous evening, and
looked at the stars, moon and sky,
but they bore an aspect very differ
ent from that of the proceeding
evening. All things seemed to be
rejoicing, and I think I felt as Da
vid did wnen he said, “The heav
ens declare the glory of God; and
the firmament sheweth his hand
work.”—l9th Ps. 1.
When I was made willing to
trust the Lora, I did not know that
there were so many instances of
that sort in which God’s people
were reduced that to extremity. D
avid says, “In thee, O Lord, do I
put my trust..’—P. 71: 1. “Trust
in the Lord and do good; so shalt
thou dwell in the land and verily
thou shalt be fed.”—Ps. 87: 3. I
will also leave in the midst of
the an afflicted and poor people
and they shall trust in the name
of the Lord.—Zeph. 3 12, Since
my deliverance these and many
other similar expressions have
been of great comfort to me. In
deed I Jiave nothing in which I
can trust but the Lord.
I soon became troubled in ref
erence to sprinkling, and, being
eager in search of truth, I read
the whole of the scriptures
in less than five months, and
when I got through, I had not
seen a single syllable to authorize
the practice. I then began to ask
myself the question:“Uan it be pos
sible that all of the-smart men who
hold to the practice of sprink
ling are mistaken? ’! resolved there
fore to get some book treating
upon that subject, in order to
find their arguments “in a nut
shell.” Accordingly I took a book,
called “Miller on infant Baptism.”
I had not read beyond the twelth ;
page before I found that the au- '
thor willfully or ignorantly pre
verted the Seriptures. He claim- ]
ed that sprinkling w r as a substi- j
tute tor circumscission, and that (
circumscission had never been re
voked. It then occured to my
mind that if circumscission had
never been revoked we had no
right to substitute something else
for it, but should practice it in its
original form. However the same
day that I read his view, I read
also Paul’s expression in which he
positively revoked circumscission.
“Behold, I Paul say unto you,
that if ye be circumscised Christ
shall profit you nothing.”—Gal. 5
2: “For in Jesus Christ neither
nor circumcision availeth anything
uncircumscision,but faith which
worketh by love.”—Gal. 5:9. “for
asmuch as we have heard that cer
tain which went out from us, have
troubled you with words, subver
ting your souls, saying, “Ye must
be circumscised and keep the law;
to whom we have no such com
mandment.”—Acts. 15 24.
There are many other texts of
Scriptures showing the fallacy of
Mr. Miller’s arguments but let the
foregoing suffice.
Since that time I have been very
cautious in receiving men’s opin
ions. Men are liable to err. “Eor
the leaders of this people cause
them to err, and they that are
led of them are destroyed.”—lsa.
9;16.
Doubtless extravagant leaders of
ten reccomend unscriptural meas
ures, simply because it is to their
pecuniary interest to do so. Final
ly I resolved to leave the Meth
odists, not because I had any per
sonal enmity against any of them,
i but simply because their doctrine
i did not accord with my expe
-1 rience, and with what I now con
, ceive to be the teaching of the
- Scriptures. Their leaders taught
; that men could get religion as op
; tion,w T hereas I tried for more than
.! four months with my utmost en
. ergy and made a most signal
[ failure. Indeed, if lam a Chris
tian to day, religion got me. I did
not get it.
• The Lord sought me and found
me. I was too weak and dead to
find him. “He brought me to the
banqueting house, and his banner
over me was love.”—Solmon’s
Song 2;4. “He found him in a
desert land, and in the waste how
ling wilderness: he led him about,
he instructed him, he kept him as
the apple of his eye.”—Deut. 32:
10. “For the Son of man is come
to seek and to save that which was
lost.”—Luke 19: 10. “The Lord
hath done great things for us,
whereof we are glad.”—Ps. 126:23.
Before I left the Methodist, I
tor k the precaution to get a cer
tificate of my good deportment,lest
some one might say that I was
excluded, but when I offered my
self to the Baptist church. I did
not snow the certificate- I knew
the Baptist would require “area
son of the hope that was within
me/;
No doubt there are Christians
among other denominations, and
such Christians should be treated
K;iore as erring brethren, than as
avowed enemies. “And the ser
vant of the Lord must not strive;
but to be gentle unto all men,
apt to teach, patience; in meek
ness instructing those that oppose!
themselves; it God peradventure
will give them repentance to the
acknowledgeing of the truth.”—2
Tim. 2:24, 25.
When I joined the Baptists, my
religious opposes fabricated many
reasons for the change in my
course. One conjecture was, that
wife caused me to change; but
that supposition was as foreingn
from the truth, as light is from
darkness. Neither she, nor any
other member of her family was
a Baptist when I joined. God
knows that I did not “confer with
flesh and blood” in forming, or ex
ecuting my religious views. I was
baptized by Elder James Wilder
at Arbor, second Sunday morning
n May, 2860. During that even
ing I felt no particular change in
my feeljugs,but at night after I had
gone to bed, I began to think how
many enemies I had made Jn my
course during the day. I then
thought il I was deceived, my
sacrifice would all be to no pur
pose, and I began to hunt up my
evidences, but for the time being,
they all seemed to be gone, I be
came alarmed, and concluded that
I had been baptized in my sins.
In the height oi my excitement
satan said to me,“This night shall
thy soul be required of thee,” and
just at that moment a bat came
through the open door into the
room, and began to flutter in the
dark. I verely thought that had
come to take me off, but 1 soon
fuund that it was nothing but a
bat, and then 1 became composed,
and after a short season of rejoic
ing 1 quietly fell asleep. As soon
as 1 saw the sun next morning, 1
was fully assured that it was satan
that had said to me, “This night’
shall thy soul be required of thee;”
because if God had said so, it
(Continued on second page.)
No. 7