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Wednesday
November 9,
2005
'I do not agree with what you have to say, but
I'll defend to the death your right to say it'
Dear Student Body,
As Editor-In-Chief of this
newspaper, it is my duty to tell
you that it has finally happened.
The Mad Grad Jesse Bishop
finally crawled far enough
under the wrong people’s
skin and I was advised to stop
running his column.
Just to be clear, Juan
Ramirez Bellicoso, whose letter
was printed in the Mad Grad
space last week, is really Jesse
Robert Bishop. The letter was
intended to be taken as satire,
but some people were offended
(see letters on the page 5). Others
correctly suspected that the letter
was authored by Bishop and
thought it was funny. Either way,
this is not the first time Bishop
has irked some readers.
He has a way of ranting,
insulting and general name
calling that some readers find
offensive. And to those offended,
I am sorry. I do understand why
some would not enjoy reading
what Bishop writes.
I also respectfully request
that future complaints about the
student newspaper be sent to the
students who create it. UWG
Why you should eat, not save, a whale
Double Vision
D °npjG a^ioij
By Jake Earl and Luke Abel
lukeandjakearehott@yahoo.com
A great tragedy has
befallen our world. This
disaster of devastating
proportions is sure to rock
not only economies and
governments around the
globe, but also the day-to
day proceedings of normal
human existence.
Mankind has been
thrown into an existential
and epistemological crisis
as a result of this bafflingly
horrifying incident, a crisis
that delves so deeply into
the very essence of the
human understanding
such that we may never
be able to crawl our way
out. Perhaps asserting
the impending nature of
the inevitable apocalypse
that will result from this
event would insult your
intelligence as my gracious
reader, or would unduly
frighten any children who
happen to pick up this paper
in a desperate attempt to
escape the knowing and
fearful looks of every adult
around them.
®ijc West Georgian
The University of West Georgia
University Community Center, Room 111
Carrollton, GA, 30118-0070
Editorial Line: (678) 839-6527
Advertising Manager: (678) 839-4783
Editorial E-mail: uwgpaper@westga.edu
Advertising E-mail: ssmith2s@my.westga.edu
On the web at http://www.thewestgeorgian.com
Opinion
students create everything you
see and read in this publication.
Students write the articles,
reviews and columns, students
draw the cartoons, students edit
the text, students create the ads,
students take the photos, students
design the pages and students
proof the pages.
Considering this, it only
seems right that complaints
would be sent to the students.
However, this is not often the
case. Granted, we are not yet
working professionals, but we
are all adults and we should
be treated as such. If someone
found offense with the Times
Georgian, they would write
the editor of that publication,
not the mayor of Carrollton. I
believe it should be the same
with this publication.
Never the less, complaints
were sent to someone and
those complaints eventually
made their way back to me. 1
contacted my editorial board
and the board consensus was
that we should not stop running
a column most readers enjoy
because a few people thought
a line had been crossed (we’re
strong believers in the First
I will not, then,
describe in any further
detail the eminent doom
that hangs over all of us, but
will rather do my final duty
as a reporter and elucidate
the tragic series of events
that led our world to this
brink of destruction.
In the late evening
hours of Tues., Oct. 25
and the early morning
hours of Wed., Oct. 26,
the great cataclysm struck
Australia’s island state of
Tasmania. The epicenter
of this disaster lay off the
southeastern coast of the
island, in the treacherous
tropical sinkhole that is
Marion Bay.
There, on that
fateful night, nearly
130 long-finned pilot
whales (Globicephala
macrorhynchus) became
stranded on the rocky
shores of the bay by some
mysterious mischance.
By the night of Thurs.,
Oct. 27, a full count of 110
whales had perished from
Amendment). Where this line
is located and when it has been
crossed is up to the individual
reader and his/her tastes.
Despite our opinions,
Bishop chose to stop writing
his column. He said via e-mail:
“We tell each other and students
that we protect free speech, but
we don’t. We only value the
opinions that we agree with,
such is human nature I suppose.
Yet, in a newspaper that I
personally won several editorial
awards for. I’m being forced
out because I’m abrasive? ... So
that’s it. I quit. Officially, that
is. I’ll continue to write letters
to the editor with expectation
that they be printed just as any
other student’s would. And I’ll
continue to point out problems
with this cesspool nation and
floating-turd-of-a-state. Maybe
name-calling bothers some, but
the way I see it: I’m just saying
what the other scared people of
the world want to say. And we
should be scared."
So, despite the fact Bishop
was Opinion Editor of this
newspaper before I was even a
student here, he is gone. That
bit about awards is true too.
exposure, as the limited
number of volunteers
could only save twenty of
the group.
Over the course of
the next week the fresh
corpses of these innocent
sea mammals were laid
to rest a few hundred feet
up the shore from where
they met their demise.
The beaches of Marion
Bay are still to this day
littered with the putrid
stench of ignominy and
pilot whale vomit.
In the aftermath of
“Brine/11,” humanity
has cried out to the local
Tasmanian government
desperate to make some
kind of sense out of an
almost unthinkable loss.
Thankfully, wildlife
professional Mark Pharaoh,
a seasoned veteran of
the Tasmanian Parks and
Wildlife Service who led
the perilous rescue attempt
to redeem the pilot whales,
was able to share some
much-needed insight as
to why the whales became
stranded on the shores
of Marion Bay: “I think
they got themselves all
disoriented about what’s
going on,” (Reuters).
Pharaoh’s insight
coincides with what is
known about the undersea
topography of Marion
Bay, namely that it is
Daniel Bell, Editor-in-Chief
Stephanie Smith, Advertising & Business Manager
Kristal Dixon, News Editor
Bobby Moore, Sports Editor
Samantha Bishop-Bell, A&E Editor
Sunay Tamashev, Photo Editor
Samantha P. Bishop, Copy Editor
Amy Lavender, Copy Editor
Elizabeth Bounds, Webmaster
Doug Vinson, Advisor
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establish
ment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;
or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the
right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition
the Government for a redress of grievances. ”
- First Amendment, United States Constitution
When he was an undergrad,
and Opinions Editor, he won
several individual awards for
his editorial writing, and The
West Georgian won first place
for its Opinions Section from
the Georgia College Press
Association. Who would’ve
thought?
Now I know that some will be
glad to see him gone, and I know
others will be outraged that he was
forced to quit because someone
up the ladder thought he should.
Speaking for the editorial board,
we were upset that anyone would
even suggest that we stop allowing
someone to say something because
some were offended. Though
we agree that sometimes Bishop
tiptoed near the line, we don’t
think it was crossed. And although
we think that sometimes he could
have toned it down a bit and still
made his point, we don’t think he
should stop what he’s been doing.
But no one asked him to
tone it down. No one asked me
to ask him to tone it down. No
one asked our advisor to ask
me to ask him to tone it down.
Someone told someone else to
tell me to pull the plug, and even
though I didn’t, the Mad Grad is
somewhat complex with
many rocks and odd
geological formations.
The disorientation spoken
of by Pharaoh was in all
probability the result of
the complex topography
of the area, which the
whales were obviously
unable to navigate.
This is the anatomy
of a tragedy, ladies and
gentlemen. Marion Bay is
the new “Ground Zero”
to which the entirety of
our civilization has been
reduced. What world is it
that we have created, when
a young and impressionable
sea mammal is capable
of ending his own life
with such ease? What
sort of society have we
built that an entire pod of
pilot whales cannot even
navigate the intricacies of
their ocean home?
Ladies and gentlemen,
perhaps we should feel
ashamed and point not
at topography or adverse
weather conditions in
order to shift the blame
away from the guilty.
Who is to blame for this
unimaginable devastation,
this terrible ravaging of
our kinder sensibilities,
this brutal affront to
human decency and moral
sensibility?!
Answer: the friggin’
whales.
There is a good
possibility that this is the
dumbest thing I have ever
heard of in the entire history
ofanimal-relatedaccidents.
More than a hundred of
these pilot whales failed
at performing the one and
only task which nature
has assigned to them: be
pilot whales. What sort of
whale can’t even manage
to get out of some little
cove when he (or she)has
the power of sonar at his
(or her) disposal?
I know that sonar
gives them some kind of
sense of dimension while
they’re swimming about.
So how is it that some
geological eccentricities in
this bay could’ve steered
them to the shore? “Oh, I
sense that there are some
stalactites (mites?) roughly
200 feet below me. Well, I
guess I’ll just keep going
forward and...Oh Jesus!
I’m stuck on the sand! I
was deceived!”
As if to make this
joke of natural selection
even crueler, these are
pilot whales. Of all types
of whale, it is the one that
has been given a name
associated with knowing
where you’re going that
ends up beaching itself for
no good reason.
What does this event
in the annals of animal
Copyright Notice
The West Georgian , copyright 2004, is an official publication of the University of
West Georgia. Opinions expressed herein are those of the newspaper staff or indi
vidual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of university faculty or stall
Letter Submission Policy
The West Georgian welcomes letters to the editor Letters may be mailed to
Editor, The West Georgian, University of West Georgia, Carrollton, GA, 301 IK.
or sent via electronic mail to: uwgpapertowestga edu
All letters must be signed and include a phone number and mailing address for
verification purposes Letters should not exceed 350 words and should be submit
ted by noon the Friday prior to publication Editors reserve the right to edit for
style, content and length
still gone.
So, next week I think we
should have a column called the
Mad Student Body. I am asking
that everyone who reads this
to write me a letter. Then tell
everyone you know to read it and
write a letter. I don’t care which
way you lean on the situation;
I just want to know that people
have an opinion. Even if you
only send me a one-sentence
note that tells me what you think.
I’ll gladly print it.
The first letter you see on
the next page is such a response
from an English graduate student
who heard about Bishop quitting.
The rest are the responses to last
week’s MIA Grad (that were
sent in by 8 a.m. Monday. If you
sent one later. I’m sorry it didn't
make it in this week. I will print
it next week ).
Thank you,
Daniel Bell
Editor-In-Chief
PS. The person quoted for the
headline is author/ philosopher
Francois Marie Arouet (pen name
Voltaire). He was not American,
but his ideas were.
history mean to us? Most
importantly, it reveals that
even animals that we are
told to believe are very
intelligent (such as whales
and gorillas) are in reality
very dense, and hence do
not deserve our respect.
Since even the smartest of
all animals may be dumb
enough to fail at being
itself, it follows that the
animals that are deemed
by science to be less
intelligent than this animal
deserve even less respect.
If whales (or cows,
pigs, chickens, etc.) can
be so completely lacking
in their own natural
capabilities, it follows that
they do not in any way
merit our sympathies as a
hunter species. All dumb
animals, therefore, are up
for the eating.
“Brine-11” then,
has resulted in serious
damage being dealt to
moral vegetarianism in its
many bastardized forms,
in that it has established
that the animals which
are supposed to be the
smartest are, in fact,
morons. 1 recommend,
therefore, that in
memoriam of this tragic
event, each and every one
of you purchase, cook and
eat a meat product, since
that is apparently how 110
pilot whales wanted it.