Newspaper Page Text
Thursday, April 6, 2000
The Southern Cross, Page 5
Everyday Graces
Service without a smile
O ne night, I took my three younger chil
dren for ice cream. It was after nine
o’clock, a little late, but nothing out of
the ordinary in a resort area like ours.
We chose a shop that’s part of a large
chain. It was well-lighted and
through the windows we could see
about a dozen patrons inside. As we
approached the entrance, a young man,
an employee of the store, hurried to the
front door. Before we could try the
knob, without making eye contact or
offering a word of explanation, the employee
bolted the door. Stunned, the kids and I stood
outside the door waiting for an explanation, but
the employee ignored us. A patron who wit
nessed the scene approached the employee to
urge him to let us in, with no success.
While I’ve grown accustomed to a lower stan
dard of customer service in many areas of life, I
was taken aback by this level of rudeness.
Driving to a second ice cream shop, the kids and
I rehashed the situation. There were no clues the
shop was closed or even due to close soon. It
was bustling with customers, and even the large,
neon “Open” sign was lit.
I decided to write a letter to the manager, the
owner, perhaps even the chain’s CEO. The kids
and I were indignant. But later that evening, a
conversation with my oldest child, Katie, then
15, tempered my indignation and helped me gain
perspective. Katie had a summer job serving ice
cream and fudge at a tourist shop, a block from
the beach. I was driving her home from
work that same evening when I
launched into my tirade about the
young clerk’s rude behavior.
Expecting Katie to assure me that
she would never treat a customer so
rudely, I heard her wearily remark:
“He shouldn’t have locked the door
in your face that way. But when it’s
closing time, even one scoop of ice
cream can be too much.”
Suddenly I was able to see the situa
tion in a new light. Yes, the clerk’s people skills
left a lot to be desired. No, he shouldn’t have
handled the situation as he did. But through
Katie’s eyes, I could be more forgiving of his
mistake. She went on to tell me how much
empathy she’s gained for people in service jobs.
And, seeing her at the end of the night, exhaust
ed from working a 12-hour shift and sticky to
her shoulders from dipping ice cream, I started
to feel more understanding, too.
It’s been a long, long time since I worked a
minimum wage job. I’ve forgotten what it’s like.
Yes, many servers are inadequately trained,
sullen, even lazy. I’ve heard many horror stories
about how difficult it is to hire reliable, hard
working employees. And I am convinced these
employers have valid complaints. But there’s
also another side to the story, another side of the
counter. And now that my daughter’s experi
enced life on that other side, I am trying to be
more patient. Knowing Katie is personable and
hardworking—but not perfect—I’m hoping
employers and customers will be patient with
Katie when she makes mistakes.
Even the hardest workers have bad days. They
get confused, flustered, tired. Even a clerk with a
sullen attitude can be softened when approached
with a little good humor, an enthusiastic greet
ing, courtesy. As customers, we must never lose
sight of a server’s humanity, dignity. When I
really think about it, I’m sure I’ve witnessed
more instances when customers have behaved
rudely than the other way around. Indeed, people
in the service industry deserve a lot of credit for
graciously tolerating boorish behavior. And the
majority of them work long and hard for low
wages. While that fact doesn’t excuse poor ser
vice and a bad attitude, it makes such problems
easier to understand.
Years ago, I ate lunch at a fast food chain with
my friend, Sister Jane Claire Simon. Before eat
ing, Sister Jane Claire said the blessing, includ
ing a prayer of gratitude for those workers who
had prepared and served us our food. I was
struck by the simple beauty of that prayer. To be
mindful of and grateful for those who serve us,
even in the most mundane settings, is indeed a
basic practice of our faith. Yet it is a practice too
easily overlooked as we hurry through our lives.
Mary Hood Hart lives with her husband and
four children in Sunset Beach, N.C.
Mary Hood Hart
Q uestion: It is my understand
ing that neither the pope nor a
council has formally defined Mary,
Mother of God, as Co-redemptress,
Mediatrix and Advocate of the
People of God. Can you clarify that
this refusal to define these titles
means?
—Jeff Morris
A nswer: The titles proposed
belong properly to Jesus Christ
(“Redeemer,” “Mediator,” the
“Advocate who always pleads our
cause”) and to the Holy Spirit
(“another Advocate”). Although the
Virgin Mary has been invoked by
similar titles through a process of
analogy, the Church judges it inop
portune to define them, for “no
creature could ever be counted
along with the Incarnate Word and
Redeemer” (Lumen Gentium) or
with the Holy Spirit. Pope John
Paul has reaffirmed the Second
Vatican Council’s treatment of the
Blessed Virgin Mary in the context
of her Son and his Church: “Only
in the mystery of Christ is her mys
tery made clear”; the pope adds in
the encyclical Redemptoris Mater
that the reality of Christ’s Incar
nation “finds a sort of extension in
Questions
the mystery of the Church — the
Body of Christ.”
In his letter Marialis Cultus, Pope
Paul VI wrote of the Solemnity of
the Annunciation (March 25) as the
“commemoration of the salvific
fiaf [“be it done to me according to
your word”] of the Incarnate Word,
who, entering the world, said: ‘God,
here I am! I am coming to obey
your will’” (see Hebrews 10:7).
With regard to Mary, Pope Paul
points out that the liturgy celebrates
the Annunciation “as a feast of the
new Eve, the obedient and faithful
who, with her generous 'fiat'
became through the working of the
Spirit the Mother of God, but also
the true Mother of the living, and,
by receiving into her womb the one
Mediator, became the true Ark of
the Covenant and the true Temple of
God.” Here Pope Paul quotes Saint
Paul (1 Timothy 2:5).
Mary’s fiat echoes that of God’s
eternal Son, the one Mediator
between God and man. As Pope
John Paul has affirmed: “The
maternal role of Mary towards peo
ple in no way obscures or diminish
es the unique mediation of Christ,
but rather shows its power”; it is
mediation in Christ.
& Answers
As Christ’s first disciple, Mary’s
response in faith to God’s choice or
election, expressed at the Annun
ciation, “Be it done to me according
to your word,” is a model for the
response of all believers. The grace
that enabled her to make this
response (her Immaculate
Conception) is also available to all
through faith and baptism. God
called her to bear Christ into the
world as the “God-bearer.” So to
believers are called to bear him into
their worlds as “God-bearers.”
Mary became the Mother of the
Redeemer because of the overshad
owing of the Holy Spirit, to which
she consented. The annunciation
account in Luke keeps us from con
centrating on Mary’s fiat, for it
emphasizes the role of the Holy
Spirit, not only in overshadowing
her, but in gracing her in the first
place to enable her to say “yes” to
God’s call. Mary may thus be con
sidered as “Spouse of the Spirit.”
But Pope Paul VI sought to avoid
any “detour” of Catholic piety from
the Spirit to Mary in a letter to Leo
Cardinal Suenens, on May 13,
1975: “We must believe that the
action of the Mother of the Church,
to the benefit of the redeemed, nei
ther substitutes for nor rivals the
all-powerful and universal action
of the Holy Spirit, but rather
implores and prepares for it, not
only with the prayer of intercession
[...], but also with the direct influ
ence of example, including most
importantly the greatest docility to
the inspiration of the divine Spirit."
From Saint John’s Gospel, we
know that Mary can never take the
place of the Holy Spirit, the other
Advocate promised by Christ to his
disciples, but she can be seen as an
“icon of the Holy Spirit,” as “the
instrument and locus of the mani
festation of the Spirit” and as the
“Spirit-bearer” par excellence of
the Spirit of God. When she is seen
in relationship to the Spirit as well
as to the Son, Mary is revealed also
as faithful daughter of the Father.
Related theologically to the three
divine persons, Mary, foremost
member of the communion of
saints, is revered as Mother of the
Church, which is the People of
God, Body of Christ and Temple of
the Spirit. As such she is not only
an example but also a companion in
prayer of the Church on pilgrimage
throughout the earth.
— DKC