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Thursday, May 25, 2000
IFsiflttita AfltiwS
The Southern Cross, Page t
Biblical images of one who nurtures
By Father Eugene LaVerdiere, SSS
Catholic News Service
13 id you know that St. Paul
compared himself and his compan
ions, Silvanus and Timothy, to a
nursing mother? To the community
in Thessalonica, Paul wrote: “We
were gentle among you, as a nursing
mother cares for her children” (1
Thes 2:7).
Describing their motherly minis
try among the people, he continued:
“With such affection for you, we were
determined to share with you not only
the Gospel of God, but our very selves
as well, so dearly beloved had you
become to us” (1 Thes 2:8).
St. Paul also compared himself
and his companions to a caring fa
ther: “As you know, we treated each
one of you as a father treats his chil
dren” (1 Thes 2:11).
Again, describing their fatherly
ministry, he spoke of “exhorting and
encouraging you, and insisting that
you conduct yourselves as worthy of
the God who calls you into his king
dom and glory” (1 Thes 2:12).
These comparisons are striking.
We do not think of Paul as a nurtur
ing person. Our image of Paul is of a
strong, zealous, fearless apostle fac
ing and overcoming every obstacle in
order to preach the Gospel every
where.
But Paul had another side. He
loved the communities established by
his ministry. He also loved every
member in the communities.
Of course, Paul was strong-willed.
As he wrote to the community in
Thessalonica, “We were able to im
pose our weight as apostles of Christ”
(1 Thes 2:7). But he did not do that.
Ministering to the communities, he
was a brother, a nursing mother and
a gentle father.
St. Paul preached the Gospel in
Thessalonica, capital of the Roman
province of Macedonia. The ancient
Thessalonica has become a great,
modern city in northern Greece.
Hearing Paul, some of the Jews
and a great number of gentiles ac
cepted the Gospel and came together
as a church. That is how the church
in Thessalonica was born.
This community — with both Jews
and gentiles as members — was dis
turbing for many in Thessalonica,
particularly those who attended the
synagogue.
When persecution broke out, the
young community sent Paul to a city
called Beroea. But Paul did not aban
don the fledgling church. He nur
tured them as a newborn infant by
sending Silvanus and Timothy to
visit and by writing to them. Later,
he would visit them.
Paul nurtured the communities
established by his ministry like a
good mother and a good father, even
like a loving God who cares for the
people.
In the second part of Isaiah, now
Ail contents copyright©2000 by CNS
called Deutero-Isaiah, God spoke gen
tly to the people through the prophet:
“Comfort, give comfort to my people,
says your God. Speak tenderly to
Jerusalem” (Is 40:1-2).
Isaiah described God’s presence as
strong and powerful (Is 40:9-10). But
God’s presence also is gentle: “Like a
shepherd he feeds his flock; in his
arms he gathers the lambs, carrying
them in his bosom and leading the
ewes with care.”
Reading this, we are not surprised
that Paul would later compare him
self to a nurturing mother and a car
ing father.
(Father LaVerdiere, a Blessed Sac
rament priest, is a Scripture scholar
and senior editor of Emmanuel
magazine.)
What children need from parents
about Canadian summer flora.
Similarly, in the social climate sur
rounding families, what is expected of
children and parents often doesn’t
match the realities of personality and
circumstance. All children need exer
cise, for example, but not all are ath
letes. Success is rewarding for all, but
it is defined in 1,000 different ways.
ithout consistent, focused effort,... the
ongoing tasks that enrich family life —
meaningful conversation, shared work,
common meals, play, laughter—evaporate
like dew in the hot summer sun.”
CNS photo by Bill Wittman
By Dan Luby
Catholic News Service
.t his new “old” house, my
brother Jack proudly was showing his
carefully planned backyard garden to
his siblings. Moving from vegetable
patch to shade garden to flower beds to
compost pile, I was struck by the simi
larities between good gardening and
families.
In both, illusion is the enemy of
success. Summers are brutally hot
where I live. So a gardener’s expec
tations are certain to be disap
pointed if they’re based on books
While parents need to provide clear
vision and values, they also need re
spect for the unique constellation of
gifts, interests and experiences
brought to the table by each family
member.
My brother’s garden is thriving,
but getting it to that point required
a major investment of time and en
ergy. In similar fashion, a family
that is nurturing is a labor-inten
sive enterprise. Without consistent,
focused effort, it is easy to find that
the ongoing tasks that enrich fam
ily life — meaningful conversation,
shared work, common meals, play,
laughter — evaporate like dew in
the hot summer sun.
That means parents and children
have to make choices, sometimes
weeding out even appealing options in
order to ensure sufficient time and
opportunity for each other.
Not that new possibilities don’t
have a place. Helping children to
bloom where they’re planted provides
a crucial stability. But
if we never nudge
them outside their
comfort zones of famil
iar friends and activi
ties, conversation and
ideas, we risk stunting
their spiritual and
emotional growth.
Walk through any
'- r • neighborhood nursery
and you’ll see that
even the most specialized tools and
exotic nutrients are useless without
sufficient water. In families, the wa
ter that sustains healthy children is
simple, consistent affirmation.
Nothing causes children to wither
more devastatingly than being ig
nored.
But loving touch, respectful
speech, appropriate inclusion in
conversation and decision making,
an approving notice — these are
FAITH IN THE MARKETPLACE
rain to the thirsty young child’s
roots and lay the foundation for life
long health and growth.
When my brother decided he
wanted a garden, he sought help
wherever he could find it. In the same
way, no parents can provide for a
child’s every need. Smart parents rec
ognize their limitations and draw
upon community resources for assis
tance.
Aunts and uncles, grandparents,
friends and neighbors, teachers,
coaches and youth ministers can all
be important allies, helping parents
give children what they need.
The last stop on Jack’s garden tour
brought us to a fence festooned with
slender green tendrils and delicate
purple flowers. It was, he said, a “vol
unteer” — a plant usually identified
as a weed but which he recognized as
beautiful.
It reminded me of the role of grace
in creating healthy, vibrant families.
In the final analysis, the beauty of a
garden and the beauty of a life-giving
family both have the quality of bless
ing.
(Luby is director of the Division of
Christian Formation for the Diocese
of Fort Worth, Texas.)
1
lna Nutshell
Teen-agers, wanting to appear grown up, independent and
self-sufficient, may resist revealing their vulnerable side to
parents or anyone else.
To know a child well, parents need to understand and
respect the child’s uniqueness. Each child has a unique
constellation of gifts, interests and experiences.
By recognizing each child’s uniqueness, parents reflect the
kind of love the Creator has for that child.
What steps can parents take to know their teen-agers more fully?
“I had four teen-agers myself. You never quit being a parent to them, but you
can become a friend to them as well. I believe in communication. Talk to them.
Make sure they know you care.” — Colleen Shackelford, Idaho Falls, Idaho
“Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance in every situation.... Drive them and their
friends places. Car chat can clue you into issues in their lives. And be around so
when they want to talk you are there. I spend lots of time around the house kind
of maintaining it for these chats.” — Lenore Scatuorchio, Mt. Holly, N.J.
“You listen to them. Find out their interests and become involved with those
things as best you can.... Also, get to know your children’s friends. Finally, get
involved with your children’s school to know what’s really going on.” — Christie
Yencho, Fayetteville, N.C.
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