Newspaper Page Text
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PAGE 2—The Georgia Bulletin, April 17, 1980
Getting Married?
t .
BY CATHERINE A. AND
EUGENE J. FISHER
NC NEWS SERVICE
(One In A Series of Ten)
Mixed marriages are
hardly a new phenomenon
in religious experience.
Joseph’s wife, the Bible
records, was an Egyptian
and Moses’ a Midianite.
Nor are the peoblems
faced by those entering
into such unions entirely
new. The tensions that
result between families
which are thrust together,
sometimes against their
will and usually without
their consent, can become
a source of embitterment.
In Genesis, Jacob is sent
off to distant relatives to
find a wife among his own
kind because of unnamed
troubles ensuing from his
older brother’s marriages
to outsiders: “Rebekah
said to Isaac, ‘I am
disgusted with life because
of the Hittite women. If
Jacob should also marry a
Hittite woman . . . like
these, what good would
life be to me?’”
Fortunately today,
tensions between families
in mixed marriages seldom
reach the level of violence
illustrated in Shakespeare’s
play, “Romeo and Juliet.”
But this does not mean
that challenges no longer
remain to be met or that
the decisions that face
those entering such unions
are any less painful.
The first major set of
challenges, as already
indicated, is an external
onn: the difficult time
each partner’s family is
likely to have in accepting
the fact that someone
close has married “outside
the fold.” This reality,
which is nearly universal,
is not something to be
lightly regarded or simply
rejected as representing
mere Neanderthal thinking
on the part of one’s
parents and older relatives.
Rather, it should be
taken seriously and faced
honestly and frankly the
moment one begins to
consider such a marriage.
Even though two people in
love may feel that love
conquers all, both the
challenges and the
potential enrichment of
the relationship if they are
successfully met are
deeper than the romantic
notion of love can
encompass. The couple
should thus plan to spend
a major portion of time,
even before the marriage
and also during it, in
discussion of the options
and difficulties they are
likely to encounter. Close
family and friends should
be included in this process
and, throughout, the priest
for the Catholic party and
the minister or rabbi for
the non-Catholic should be
a constant participant.
Such questions, such as
whether the family will
worship together as a unit,
and where, are obvious
ones but not always easily
resolvable. In a
Catholic-Jewish union, for
example, will Christmas or
Hannukah be celebrated or
both? And what will be
the impact on the
children’s sense of identity
of the various options?
Some couples at the outset
seek to resolve these issues
by watering down their
individual beliefs and
striking a happy medium -
in effect inventing their
own religion or simply
wandering into religious
indifference. This,
however, deprives the
children of any consistent
religious vision. While it is
the easiest path, it may be
the most harmful in the
long run.
This leads to the next
critical set of challenges,
the internal one. Here the
dynamics are more subtle
and hence more difficult
to perceive and to deal
with. There are cultural
ramifications to what we
are that each of us brings
with us from our own
rootedness in the history
of our family and ethnic
group. Many of these are
unconscious, yet deeply
woven into the fabric of
our religious identity.
They influence our basic
perceptions of reality, the
way we think, pray and
even play.
A person raised in an
Italian Catholic setting, for
example, will have a quite
different sense of family,
of* social mores and of the
social proprieties than one
raised as an Episcopalian
or a Presbyterian. These
differences of religious
belief and ethic identity
can, if openly faced,
provide an exciting
opportunity for
ecumenical encounter.
Striving to increase in
knowledge of and respect
for the other person’s
faith, and at the same time
share the unique insights
of one’s own tradition not
only broadens each
partner's spiritual
horizons, but should
enrich and deepen the
commitment of each to his
own faith community. If
the encounter is carefully
nurtured, each partner can
become stronger in his
own faith not through a
process of competition but
one of cooperation and
mutual searching for the
one God.
ENGAGED COUPLES
GATHERING - Marital Sexuality
will be just one of the topics
discussed at a seminar for engaged
couples scheduled for Holy Cross
Church on April 25.
BYTHEA JARVIS
Ms. Christiane
Brusselmans, internation
ally known author,
lecturer and teacher, was
the keynote speaker at the
National Catholic
Educational Association
convention held recently
in New Orleans. The
NCEA convention,
attended by over 9500
delegates, had as its theme
‘‘Catholic Educators:
Partners with the Family.”
Included in Ms.
Brusselmans’ talk were the
following remarks to
convention delegates:
‘‘Family m i nistry
involves announcing the
good news to those within
the immediate family
circle first of all. However,
family members should in
turn be aware of the
Christian family’s
authentic mission to
evangelize the wider
community.” (from the
National Catechetical
Directory)
“The parents not only
communicate the good
news to their children,
they also receive the same
Gospel in return as their
children live it.”
‘‘Such a family
becomes the evangelizer of
many other families and
the neighborhood of
which it forms a part.”
‘‘Since it is the
domestic church, the
initiation of the children
into its worship is a central
part of its role.”
“A Christian family
first of all introduces its
members to daily family
prayers.”
Christiane Brusselmans
“As the children grow,
the parents are entrusted
with the ministry of
sponsorship. It is the
Christian parents who
formally present their
children to the sacraments
of Christian initiation.”
“Further, Christian
family life involves
prayerful celebration on
its own, as well as active
participation in the
liturgical celebration of
the parish community of
which it is an integral
part.”
“Each individual family
seeks, according to its
ability and opportunity, to
minister to the spiritual
needs of the whole human
family.”
‘‘Parents are also
pastors, sharing in the
pastoral ministry of Christ
because it is to them that
is entrusted the task of
leading their children on
paths of justice and
peace.”
“Parents are priests
sharing in the priestly
ministry of Christ because
it is through their love that
life is given a child. By the
offering of the child to
Christ in Baptism, this life
is sanctified and
transformed into the body
of Christ.”
Christiane Brusselmans,
presently professor of
pastoral catechetics at the
University of Louvain in
Belgium, received the
highest award given by the
NCEA’s Department of
Religious Education. The
author of several books on
catechesis and sacramental
initiation, Ms. Brusselmans
was cited for the programs
she has designed and
written for family
catechesis.
THE PLEASURE OE COOKING
Pius X Compiles Cookbook
HIGH SCHOOL COOKING -
Annette Coulter, Publicity (seated),
Elaine Oakes, Chairman (standing)
Selma Nort, Art and Recipe Testing,
Kay Newbern, Co-chairman
(standing) Father Terry Young,
Principal, Committee for “The
Pleasure of Cooking.”
St. Pius X High School
is proudly presenting THE
PLEASURE OF
COOKING. The idea was
conceived as a way to raise
money to underwrite
tuition costs - to keep
them within an affordable
range.
The cookbook will
feature many specialties
from well-known Atlanta
restaurants such as
Anthony’s and Herron’s.
Besides these culinary
choices, there will be
many elegant but easy to
prepare recipes from the
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faculty and parents in the
school community. Father
Terry Young, principal,
has submitted several of
his favorites.
In the range of 500
tested recipes, the book
includes family delicacies
of European and Oriental
cultures as well as a
feature giving the
historical background of a
variety of herbs.
To introduce the
much-anticipated book,
the Home & School
Association at St. Pius is
hosting a “Tasting Tea” on
Sunday, April 20 from 2
to 5 P.M. in the school
cafeteria, free of charge.
The public is invited to
sample goodies made from
recipes contained in the
book and door prizes will
add to the fun. Beautifully
designed, THE
PLEASURE OF
COOKING will make a
perfect Mother’s Day,
Birthday or Hostess Gift.
Books will be available at
the Tea and anyone
wishing further
information, may call
Annette Coulter,
491-0536 or Elaine Oakes,
237-0611.
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Getting Engaged?
Brusselmans Addresses NCEA
BY THEA JARVIS
(For the past several
weeks, the GEORGIA
BULLETIN has featured a
series entitled “Getting
Married.” Readers of that
series might wish to avail
themselves of the excellent
program described in the
following article.)
Engaged couples in the
archdiocese are invited to
gather the weekend of
April 25th at Holy Cross
Church in Chamblee to
examine their
committment to the
sacrament of marriage.
The Archdiocesan Office
of Religious Education,
headed by Father James
Kelly, will sponsor a day
and a half seminar
specifically designed to
give couples the
opportunity to discuss
topics central to Christian
married life. Time will also
be set aside for private
reflection and dialogue to
underscore the uniqueness
of each couple’s
relationship.
Pre-Cana Instruction
The program represents
a new approach to
Pre-Cana Instruction.
Under the guidance of
four married couples and
one priest, participants
will be encouraged to
delve into what moderator
Father Frank Ralph, O.P.
terms the four “problem”
areas in marriage today:
contemporary views of
marriage, the importance
of communication in
marriage, God’s presence
in the marriage covenant,
and marital sexuality. In
addition, brief talks will be
given highlighting natural
family planning and family
finances.
Motivation for the
program derives from a
realistic acknowledgement
of ever-rising divorce,
separation, and
annullment rates in our
culture which induces the
church “to look at the
beginning processes of the
sacrament and how we are
encouraging and sustaining
marriages with family
programs in the parish,”
according to Father Frank.
For him, “Family life is
the heart of the parish. It
was rarely looked upon as
an opportunity for
ministry in the church.”
Reinforcing the
importance of the
community in its role as
minister to those about to
marry, the program for
engaged couples properly
fits the description of
William J. Bausch in his
book A NEW LOOK AT
THE SACRAMENTS:
“Sacramental celebration
is a communal response to
God’s call in Christ.”
Using a wide range of
workable techniques
culled from marriage
encounter, pre-cana
conferences, and engaged
encounter, the couples will
examine what God is
calling his people to
become in the sacrament
of marriage.
Contemporary Christian
Views of Marriage
Married couples
representing the entire
church community include
Rosalien and Bill Payne of
Chamblee, whose talk on
“Contemporary Views of
Marriage” will contrast the
Christian understanding of
marriage as a direct call
from God with more
secular interpretations.
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For Rosalien and Bill,
active in cursillo and other
facets of parish life, this
program represents a new
opportunity for outreach:
“In doing our Father’s
work in this way, we know
that He will use us as His
instruments in bringing
Christ to all those working
and participating in this
seminar.”
Communication
Larry and Cindy Neer
of Gwinnett County have
previously worked on
many weekends for
engaged couples. Their
scheduled talk on “The
Importance of
Communication in
Marriage” will touch on
the difference between
hearing and listening, the
recognition of anger as an
emotion, and the reality of
healing and reconciliation
in a conjugal setting. For
the Neers, “Communica
tion is a tool through
which we build a loving,
sharing, and giving
relationship that will stand
the test of time, unfolding
our inner selves to each
other.”
“God’s Presence in the
Marriage Covenant” will
be presented by Stan and
Diane Zieg of Tucker,
both of whom are deeply
committed to family
ministry. Their own
interfaith experience -
Stan has an Episcopalian
background, Diane a
Catholic one - will lend
special insights to those
who share a similar
relationship. The Ziegs feel
strongly that “God is
continually calling us to be
present day signs of His
covenant with His church
throughout all of time. We
are to remain faithful,
loving, and just to our
spouse ... as the Lord is
to all people.”
Larry and Lyn
Crutchfield, also of
Tucker, would like to “see
other couples get into the
heart of their relationship
prior to marriage.” After
having deepened their own
committment to each
other through the Marriage
Encounter Movement,
Larry and Lyn are eager to
share their belief that
“Marriage is a permanent
committment” where
“there will be struggles - in
a love relationship these
struggles are normal.”
Their talk on “Marital
Sexuality” will show that
sexual expression is not an
isolated part of a marriage,
but one that m ust
harmonize with the whole
of the conjugal union.
The two day program
will end with the
celebration of the
Eucharist on Saturday
afternoon. Father Frank,
who will homilize at that
time on the sacramentality
of marriage, clearly
manifests the optimism of
the entire team as he
reflects upon marriage as a
partnership in the Lord:
“Marriage is a continuing
sacrament. All areas have
to be continually worked
at. But we have God’s life
to help us as we live out
the ‘everydayness’ of this
sacrament.”
The seminar for
engaged couples will begin
at 8:00 p.m. on Friday,
April 25th and will
continue on Saturday,
April 26th from 9:00 a.m.
to 5:00 p.m. at Holy Cross
Church, off Cham-
blee-Tucker Road in
Chamblee. For directions,
reservations, or further
information, please call
the church at 939-3501 or
939-3502.
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