Newspaper Page Text
June 18,1981
PAGE 5-
When A Parish Touches All Of Life
BY FATHER PHILIP J. MURNION
One of the fastest growing ministries in the
church today is the ministry to separated and
divorced Catholics - people who especially
need the care of the church. There are some
aspects of this ministry, it seems to me, which
suggest ways for parishes to develop other
ministries as well. Let me cite some of its
qualities.
1. The ministry obviously touches a critical
moment and concern in people’s lives. At the
time of separation and divorce, everything
seems to be coming apart -- not only the
marriage, but people’s sense of self-worth,
their relationships with other people, perhaps
their attitudes toward their jobs and their
futures. For many estranged spouses going
through the separation and divorce
experience, everything else is seen through the
lens of the experience.
2. Ministry can touch on all aspects of the
experience of divorce - the psychological
experience of self-doubt, as well as the
religious experience of guilt. It is a ministry
that can touch concerns about a possible
annulment, about the value of continued
participation in the church, about legal
questions of agreements and credit.
Also touched: family questions related to
the new kinds of relationships a divorced man
and woman will have with their children; and
social questiQns, for example, new
relationships with friends and neighbors.
There is no part of the experience which is not
considered an appropriate concern of the
ministry.
3. This is essentially a peer ministry. It is
primarily the separated and divorced who
minister to one another. Surely others can be
helpful, but the care and support of others
who understand the experience from the
inside out is a most important part of this
ministry.
4. Those responsible for this ministry may
draw on outside resources when these prove
necessary - the diocesan marriage tribunal,
lawyers, psychologists and others. These
people can give participants in the program
helpful information for coping with their
problems more realistically and effecitvely.
5. The ministry enjoys the hospitality of
the church, including not only the use of a
church building, but the constant care of
priests and other parish staffers. And the
church provides the support of spirituality
and sacraments. Few people can better
identify with the death and resurrection of
the Lord in the Eucharist than people who are
going through a kind of death of their own
and looking for the grace of new life.
6. Programs for the separated and,divorced
provide those who participate an experience
of reconciliation. People receive a sense of
being accepted as they are. They discover they
are worth loving, at a point when they doubt
this in their own minds.
7. Because reconciliation is offered, those
involved can express strongly the values and
ideals they must strive for. Although it may
appear paradoxical, groups of separated and
divorced persons in the church assert strongly
the importance of permanent marriage.
Not having to defend their worth by
pretending that the separation or divorce is
not sad or disappointing, separated and
divorced people can still acknowledge the
importance of what they were not able to
achieve.
These are some of the features that I feel
have made the ministry to separated and
divorced people such an effective ministry for
so many people throughout the country.
It seems to me that this ministry may well
provide a model for parishes to use in helping
people through other kinds of critical
experiences in life. The same sort of peer
ministry might prove invaluable in other
instances, opening up many new possibilities
for a parish.
This approach could well deepen the ways
people connect their lives of faith and grace
with the struggles and joys of their lives.
Perhaps it is the problems of work that
preoccupy some people who could be assisted
by a peer ministry. Or it may be the
transitional years in a marriage, when the
spouses approach 40 and begin to question
the meaning of their lives.
It may be the experience of physical or
mental illness in the family. It may be the
challenges of being parents of teen-agers.
Whatever matters are most important to
them, parishioners - if they are invited to do
so - are likely to welcome the opportunity to
help each other discover the healing power of
grace that is shared.
through dull times as well as high moments,
which works almost “sacramentally” in a
community. It symbolizes and effects
bonding and the strength and serenity that
brings. Ultimately, exercising that concern is
the role of each parishioner, but the
neighborhood representative can serve to
focus and be a model of it.
In his best-selling novel, “Back Bay,”
William Martin points out something many
Catholics have experienced. Fallon, the hero
of the story, is attending a wake for a friend
who has been killed; the author records his
thoughts:
“By the time the priest said the final Hail
Mary, Fallon understood once more the
power of the Rosary. He took no comfort in
the words themselves, but their repetition . . .
was almost hypnotic. The rhythm of the
words created concentration which led to
contemplation and, ultimately, to serenity.”
There are a lot of elements in parish life
which act like the rosary; their quiet
repetition creates a rhythm which can lead us
through rough waters to serenity.
In that sense, ordinary parish life is the
“horizon,” the backdrop against which even
tragic events can be focused and kept in
perspective. Death and divorce and
breakdown - these are realities we have to
face. If there is no context of faith, hope and
love, mediated by the concrete concern of
people with whom we feel a bond in a parish,
difficult events have the power to overwhelm
us.
But if we experience in the rhythm of
parish life that ongoing concern which is
almost “sacramental,” we will be
strengthened to share Paul’s confidence that
“neither death nor life . . . nothing that exists,
nothing still to come, not any power or height
or depth, nor any created thing, can ever come
between us and the love of God made visible
in Christ Jesus Our Lord.”
In that sense, a parish can be for all its
members God’s own neighborhood
representative!
BY FATHER JOHN J. O'CALLAGHAN, S.J.
Not long ago I saw a whole parish reel
under tragedy. The young son of very active
parishioners was killed in an automobile
crash, caused by the usual ingredients: dark,
wet road, bad curve, high speed.
Word traveled quickly, and the parish
rallied around the grief-stricken family. The
pastor spent all day and all night with the
family, seeing to what needed to be done.
Some people sent in food, others
contacted distant friends and acquaintances.
The liturgy committee worked on a
profoundly beautiful liturgy, many people
saw to it that prayers and Masses were offered
for the boy and for his family. The wake and
funeral was filled with concerned
parishioners, and over the next months they
kept close touch with the family.
Clearly, the parish was a strong support for
people plunged into shattering sadness. Just as
clearly, the experience occasioned for the
whole parish what any crisis does: sober
reflection on the meaning of life, on Christian
faith in the resurrection, on our bonds with
one another.
I was pushed by it all to reflect on the
importance of that bondedness. It is
somewhere near the very center of parish
vitality, I think. If it is present, then members
of a parish face the whole range of life’s ups
and downs - birth and death, joy and sorrow,
the fruits of virtue and of vice - not just as
individuals but as sisters and brothers in the
Lord. What a difference!
That same parish has in recent weeks added
a whole new dimension to its life:
neighborhood representatives. Their function
is to exercise special concern for the
parishioners who live in each small area of the
parish. They’ll welcome new members,
organize home Masses, discussion groups,
suppers and social action projects. They’ll
be attentive to need in times of crisis, of
course, but that may be only as helpful as the
quality of their ongoing concern.
It’s that ongoing concern, day by day,
such times can put things in perspective
and give us a sense of peace. (NC Photo
by Bob Taylor)
REFLECTING ON A BIBLE
PASSAGE can bring a fresh perspective
during a time of crisis. Turning to the
Bible or to the parish or to a friend at
/ \
KNOW
YOUR
FAITH
(All Articles On This Page Copyrighted 1981 By N.C. News Service)
A CHILD IS BORN and is baptized. A young couple make
a commitment to one another and are married. An elderly
parishioner dies, a funeral Mass Ls celebrated and the person is
buried. Parishes and pastors are looking at these most
significant events in people’s lives and trying to develop ways
that will make them more meaningful to those involved. (NC
Photo by John Gregg)
Facing Ups And Downs
Paul Is Not Content To Babble
BY FATHER JOHN J. CASTELOT
The church in Corinth seems to have been
largely unstructured, freewheeling and
charismatic. Ideally, each community was
supposed to operate well because of a smooth
interplay of the gifts of the Spirit, with each
member using his or her gift in the service of
the whole community. But where human
beings are concerned, ideals too often remain
ideals.
Judging by the amount of space St. Paul
devoted to the discussion of spiritual gifts in
his First Letter to the Corinthians, the gifts
apparently were a source of no little trouble
to this Corinthian community. Furthermore,
from the attention Paul gives the gift of
speaking in tongues, this particular gift seems
to have occasioned special concern on his
part.
At the beginning of Chapter 14 of the
letter, Paul compares tongues rather
unfavorably with the gift of prophecy - a gift
for edifying, consoling, encouraging and
motivating the church community. The
exercise of prophecy makes a positive
contribution to the community. The gift of,
tongues, on the other hand, may profit the
one who receives it, but seems to be of little
benefit to the larger church under ordinary
circumstances.
Paul then launches into a lengthy
demonstration of his position, using argument
after argument.
Just supose he had used the gift of tongues
when he came to preach the Gospel to them.
They wouldn’t have understood a word he
said. Therefore, not only would he have
conveyed no message to them, but in all
likelihood they would have considered him a
crackpot, a madman.
Turning to the field of music, Paul points
to the obviuous fact that an unharmonious
jumble of notes is simply noise, not melody.
Paul also points out that if soldiers can’t tell
whether the bugler is playing reveille, taps or
the signal to charge forward, they simply will
be confused.
Paul applies these examples to the case at
hand in Corinth. Speech is meant for
communication, but if someone uses a
language no one else understands, he ends up
“talking to the air.” More important for Paul,
communication is intended to create a bond
between speaker and listener.
But if the listener hears only unintelligible
sounds, no such bond is forged, no
interpersonal relationship takes place, no
community is created. The speaker becomes
not a brother, but a foreigner (literally, a
“barbarian,” a babbler) to the listener.
Knowing the almost exaggerated esteem
the Corinthians have for intellectual things -
for wisdom and philoosophy - Paul appeals to
them next on this score. He calls their
attention to the fact that one who speaks in an
unintelligible tongue without being able to
interpret its meaning may be spiritually
uplifted but remains intellectually
uninvolved. His “mind contributes nothing.”
As far as Paul is concerned, “I want to pray
with my spirit, and also to pray with my
mind.” In the liturgical gatherings, then as
now, the community was supposed to assent
to the prayer with a sincere, “amen.” But,
Paul asks, how can people assent to something
they haven’t understood?
Paul ends this particular line of argument
with the telling remark: “Thank God, I speak
in tongues more than any of you; but in the
church I would rather say five intelligible
words to instruct others than 10,000 words in
a tongue.”
Discussion Points And Questions
1. According to Father Philip Mumion, what might the ministry to
separated and divorced Catholics suggest about ways of helping other
groups in the church?
2. List and discuss two ways in which people benefit from the ministry
to the separated and divorced?
3. Why does Father John O’Callaghan think that ongoing concern with
all that happens in everyday life is important for a community? Do you
agree with him?
4. What does a neighborhood representative do in the parish described
by Father O’Callaghan?
5. According to Father John Castelot, which gift of the Holy Spirit is
more important in the Corinthian community -- the gift of prophecy or
the gift of tongues? Why?
6. In your opinion, why does Paul mention that he himself speaks in
tongues?
7. Take a few minutes to think about your own family, your friends,
your co-workers, etc. How do you help each other out on a regular basis?
What special ways do you help each other in times of crisis? What events
would you and your family regard as a crisis?