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Page 2 • Faith Today
Curiosity — the
driving force in
human growth
By David Gibson
NC News Service
The struggle between an expan
ding stomach and its owner, a
man reaching middle age, was re
counted in a short story by
American writer John Cheever.
The stomach won the struggle.
The personal expansion the man
then underwent may have been
typical, though not the sort of
growth actively sought out by
people his age.
What kinds of personal growth
are open to adults like the man in
Cheever's story? Undoubtedly
Cheever had his finger on a real
concern of many who would like
to alter lifestyles by eating less.
Probably they’d also like to alter
lifestyles in other ways: by reduc
ing stress or getting free of a habit
that enslaves them. Some want to
grow r by entering into more
valuable conversations with
spouses and friends — and by
listening more carefully to those
very people.
The “me generation” proposes
that you grow best by becoming
rigorously independent, seizing
control over life’s events and
making certain those events are to
your advantage. And, it can’t do
much good if life’s events swirl
out of control, making you their
victim.
But there is another side of the
coin. It is found in a Gospel that
proposes adults grow by discover
ing the true potential of
interdependence.
“Communication with
the others who are in
timate parts of your life
is of the essence when it
comes to decisions
about change.”
The pursuit of adult growth can
be frustrating at times.
A photographer can observe a
plant’s development over time,
capturing each stage of that
development on film. Yet if you
sit still and watch a plant, you
can’t see it growing.
It is much the same with per
sonal growth. After a long period,
an adult looks back and says
“Yes-, I’ve grown, matured.” But
the growth may have been nearly
imperceptible all along the way.
Furthermore, the growth likely
occurred along a twisting, ir
regular path.
It seems that the conscious deci
sion to foster personal growth
does not produce instant
perfection.
□ □ □
A decision to grow — to
develop as a person — is a deci
sion to change. This kind of deci
sion, of course, can produce its
own set of fears. Not least is the
fear that your own change won’t
be welcomed by others — or,
worse, that your changes will hurt
others. This fear can be a healthy
reminder, however, that personal
change isn’t achieved in isolation.
Communication with the others
who are intimate -parts of your life
is of the essence when it comes to
decisions about change. Isn’t it
possible that people will grow
together?
There is, however, a basic
curiosity that drives people to
develop as persons. We sense that
we are underdeveloped in certain
areas.
This writer confesses he is an
underdeveloped pianist. At age
19, 12 years of piano were behind
me— literally. I gave it up, only
to return 20 years later wondering
just how much I’d left behind.
Our niece, a piano teacher, says
she now takes more and more
students in their 40s, people
just like me. They are curious to
discover how much they left
behind — to recapture a missing
part of themselves.
Thomas Merton, the Trappist
monk who was an influential
writer, was driven by curiosity
about his potential for spiritual
growth. He died of accidental
electrocution while visiting
the Far East. But he left behind
his “Asian Journal” to reveal just
how intense his curiosity was
about ways to grow as a
Christian.
Like Father Merton, many peo
ple suspect there are depths not
yet touched within themselves.
And they become curious about
those depths. It is, I think, a
curiosity colored by the sense that
each human person is incomplete
— with much more to come in
the future.
(Gibson is editor of Faith
Today.)
horizon
By Suzanne Elsesser
NC News Service
Some of us sat in comfortable
chairs; others perched on chair
arms; most of us were seated on
the carpeted floor, the spot young
people find most comfortable in
any location.
That was 25 years ago. We
| were a group of senior women
gathered in the living room of a
red brick dormitory at Skidmore
College in Saratoga Springs, N.Y.
We were together for a last con
versation with the college presi
dent. We would soon graduate
and he wanted a few informal last
words with us.
It’s amazing how I still remember
the faces and personalities in that
room — my roommate Gail and
close friends, Judy, Barbara and
Betty. We’d lived, studied and had
fun together for four years. Now
we were leaving.
words President Joseph Palamoun-
tain used that even-
recall his image of an amusement
park set beside the ocean.
He said that when we got “out
there in the real world” there
would be choices to make. There
would be the gaudy lights, the
noise and the self-serving activities
of the amusement park. And there
would be the natural beauty of the
ocean with its vast horizon on the
other.
Palamountain implored us not to
spend our lives caught up in the
glitter, commotion and finiteness
of the amusement park. With a
gentle smile and pull on the pipe
he always held, he urged us in
stead to set our sights high, to
look toward the horizon that
would expand even as we moved
toward it.
I liked the president’s imagery.
But how little any of us knew then
what reaching toward those
horizons and . not getting stuck
in distractions
would really
mean for us.
Many of us married and started
families soon after our graduation.
JvVe spent the swirl of the 1960s
— the civil rights movement, the
Great Society, Vatican II, the Ken
nedy assassinations, Vietnam — as
young wives and mothers. We
gave our first priority to spouses,
the creation of a home and
the raising of our babies as they
^came.
Our priority was family and we
did that well. But we did more.
We continued studying in
graduate schools, we read, we
listened to what was being said
around us, we worked and learn
ed, we discussed and kept the im
age of boundless horizons before
us.
Gail, Judy, Betty, Barbara and I
are different now — different than
we expected ro be in I960. We
thought then that our moment of
maturity had come with diplomas
and marriages.
Among us now we have five
masters’ degrees, 13 almost grown
children and careers that involve
us beyond our families. Gail is a
psychotherapist in private prac
tice; Judy the manager of a New
England business; Betty a com
munity organizer in the South;
Barbara a social worker with
adolescents; I a writer and
pastoral minister.
The five of us have grown
through the continuing challenges
of parenting and marriage, the
realities of relationships and
our fears as we tentatively took
steps into the new world of
work.
In I960 we were not fully
aware how much we were poised
on the edge of world-changing
events. Nor did we truly suspect
that 25 years later we would still
be moving, with increasing self-
confidence, toward the horizon
that so preoccupied us on gradua
tion eve.
'
(Ms. Elsesser is on the staff
? South Bronx Pastoral
Life's meaning restored
By Father John Castelot
NC News Service
Jesus was a dinner guest at the
home of a certain man named
Simon (Luke 7). His host had
treated him quite rudely, omitting
the customary kiss of greeting and
the soothing anointing of his head
with perfumed oil.
This had to create a certain ten
sion and matters didn’t improve.
The dining area was on the
ground floor, open to the street.
The interesting tabletalk of a
group of intelligent men was a
strong attraction and it was not
unusual for passersby to slip in
unobtrusively to sit quietly along
the wall.
On this occasion the party
crasher was a woman, a notorious
streetwalker. Her entrance surely
brought the conversation to a sud
den, embarrassed halt. The guests
reclined around small tables, sup
porting themselves on their left
elbows, with their legs extended
into the room.
The woman made straight for
Jesus, fell at his feet and wept so
copiously that her tears splashed
on them. Embarrassed now, she
hurriedly wiped away the tears
with her hair (loose hair was the
mark of a loose woman). Then,
brazenly, she kissed his feet and
rubbed them with scented oil she
had in a vase.
This was too much for Simon
who muttered: “If this man were
a prophet, he would know who
and what sort of woman this is
that touches him, she is a sinner.”
Jesus then told about two men
who owed a moneylender unequal
amounts. The creditor wrote off
both debts. Which person would
be more grateful? Simon grudging
ly replied: the one whose debt
was greater.
> Jesus then applied his little
parable to the present situation,
explaining that the woman’s tears
were a genuine expression of
gratitude for God’s forgiveness of
her sins.
In contrast to her behavior, that
of Simon was deplorable.
One scholar, Frederick Danker,
sums up Jesus’ comments to
Simon in his book, “Luke” (For
tress Press, 1976): “And so (Jesus)
said of the woman, whose sen
sitivities the rude host had punc
hed with hypocritical volleys,
‘Look at all her kindnesses. As a
hostess she has done better than
you. As for her sins, I grant you,
they are many, but she has
already received forgiveness.’”
(7:48).
Jesus’ comments were not the
polite thing to say but the
kingdom took precedence over
the socially “correct things,” said
Danker.
Jesus gave this woman a new
perspective on life and opened up
the future for her. Before the en
counter with Jesus she had lost all
self-respect and had given up
hope. Now she was rid of guilt
and self-hatred.
Previously she had felt like a
non-person, a thing, despised by
those who used her and by those
who didn’t. Now she was a per
son, with a potential for growth
and achievement.
Something similar happened
repeatedly in Jesus’ ministry. He
had a way of giving people a new
perspective, of showing them that
their lives had meaning and un
dreamed of potential for future
growth.
(Father Castelot teaches at St.
John’s Seminary, Plymouth, Mich.)
FOOD..
•Desire — clarifying what is
most important to a person — is
“the beginning of change” for
Dolores Leckey, director of the
U.S. bishops’ Laity Secretariat.
Desire is vital when it comes to
promoting growth as a Christian.
She pointed out that Jesus in his
healing ministry often asked peo
ple: “What do you really want?”
Mrs. Leckey said that assistance
in discovering how one wants to
change can come from spiritual
directors or a small group in a
parish. She told of a woman
who was convinced she had no
gift for church ministry.
In talking with a spiritual
director, it gradually became
clear that the woman had a gift
for interior decoration. But, Mrs.
Leckey explained, the woman
never had considered this gift, in
terms of a ministry.
Through prayer and discus
sion, the woman finally saw that
“creating beautiful spaces for
God” could be a Christian gift,
Mrs. Leckey said. Now the
woman uses her gift to create
peaceful environments in special
group situations where troubled
children are living temporarily
away from home.
•Skill at listening is a key factor
in Christian growth, according to
Suzanne Elsesser of Larchmont,
N.Y.
“When I became a Catholic,”
Ms. Elsesser said, “I listened a
lot to what others said about the
...for discussion
1. It is easy to see that young
people grow and develop. But
what kinds of growth are possi
ble for mature adults?
2. Adjustment to change can
be a special challenge, Father
Walter Burghardt suggests in an
interview with Katharine Bird.
He says that for him the answer
has been to adapt creatively to
changes taking place. What are
some changes in the course of
ordinary home life, or life at
work, that challenge a person to
adapt creatively?
3. Suzanne Elsesser recalls
goals set 25 years earlier in her
life — goals still being pursued,
though in fresh ways. Are there
goals that have run through your
life like threads, goals you’re still
pursuing, perhaps in fresh ways?
4. As you look back over the
weeks of Lent, what do you see
as the purpose of this season?
What can this season mean for
you?
Faith Today • Page 3
...for thought
church and about what they
were doing in the church.” From
listening she discovered “what I
was looking for — a community
of people trying to accomplish
something together. That was
very attractive to me,” she
commented.
She added that “listening in
prayer” is helpful for growth
too. She often prays without us
ing words. “Something happens
in the quiet,” Ms. Elsesser said.
“I get new thoughts and make
connections. Somehow God is
communicating with me.”
•Developing a positive outlook
on the possibility of personal
change is an essential skill in
Christian growth for Theodore
Hertgesbach. A theologian, he is
a teacher and administrator at In
diana University in South Bend,
Ind.
Making changes is very dif
ficult for most people, he said. It
is all too easy for people “at a
crossroads to look at the
negative side of change,”
Hengesbach added. “This can
make them feel apprehensive.
Yet growth comes when people
begin to believe it is possible to
improve the status quo” for the
benefit of all concerned.
Those are some skills and
characteristics important for peo
ple who want to grow as Chris
tians. What are some others?
SECOND HELPINGS
“If I’m a Christian, Why Be a
Catholic? The Biblical Roots of
Catholic Faith,” by Holy Cross
Brother James Hanson. “This
book is born of personal pain
and pastoral concern for those
who struggle to integrate their
experience of being human,
thdir experience of being
Catholic and their experience of
reflecting on the Bible,” Brother
Hanson writes. His book, in
question-and-answer form, is a
“biblically based statement of
Catholic faith.” Some of the
many questions posed in the
book are: “What does the word
church mean?” “When was the
New Testament written?” “Can
we still know the risen Lord as
the first Christians did?”
Brother Hanson writes that
“Scripture, church teaching,
liturgy and human experience”
all can be seen in faith as signs
of Christ in the midst of human
life. (Paulist Press. 545 Island
Rd., Ramsey, N.J. 07446.
1984. $4.95.)
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