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PAGE 5 — The Georgia Bulletin, June 20,1985
Dolores Curran
Three Kinds Of Vacations
A couple experiencing marital problems decided to get
away to a remote cabin for a couple of weeks and it nearly
broke up their marriage. “It was awful,” she said. “There
was just too much togetherness with nobody else around to
dilute the constant contact.”
Sometimes marriages need a rest more than
togetherness. Much has been written on the separate vaca
tion, most of it negative. The idealized family enjoys being
together, experiencing new places and activities, and never
gets bored.
I wonder how realistic this ideal is. We’ve had some
wonderful family vacations but we’re always happy to
come home. I notice that each of us treasure the privacy of
our room and activities more after being crammed into a
car and motel rooms for a week or two.
If I had my druthers, I would opt for several weekends
away sprinkled throughout the year over one long two-three
week trip. But these aren’t always possible. Such weekends
take advance planning and calendar control — skills in
short supply for most of us.
I believe three kinds of vacations are needed to refresh
and renew ourselves in today’s fast-paced culture—the
family vacation, the couple vacation, and the away-from-
both vacation.
These don’t have to be long and costly. The family could
take a four-day camping trip and six months later the cou
ple could spend a weekend at a nice motel with pool and
bar. They get a chance to finish a conversation, to be silly
without the kids around, to take in a good movie, to window
shop, and to be intimate. It’s a real investment in marriage.
I also believe we have a need to get away from our
families and spouses at least once a year. This can be a
retreat, a convention, or a fishing trip. It can be alone but
it’s more fun with friends.
We have long acknowledged this need for men. Hunting
and fishing trips for groups of men are commonly accepted.
Men need these times to get away from shaving, women,
and polite language, we’re told.
Well, fellows, so do women. We need to get away from the
kitchen, men and mothering. We need time to be carefree
with good friends. Although my work requires a lot of
travel, it’s with eager anticipation that I view an annual
five days spent away from home with my sister, my sister-
in-law, and a longtime college friend.
We sightsee, shop, giggle, and talk. We usually go in
January after the holiday bustle and we go with the bless
ings of our husbands who, no doubt, are glad to give us an
RESOUND ~
The “Techys”
To the Editor:
I read with pleasure your article, “No More Ramblin’ For
Tech Chaplain,” (Georgia Bulletin, May 16,1985), rejoicing
in the progress that has been made on the new Catholic
Center at Georgia Tech. It was especially gratifying to
read, since what emerged was the heart and spirit of
Father Mario Dilella rather than merely dry statistics
about a brick-and-mortar enterprise.
It has been my good fortune to know Father Mario for
some four years through his visits to his Franciscan
brethren at the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. He
has always presented himself as a warm and joyful in
dividual capable of inspiring good cheer among his friends
and associates.
The clear testimony of Father Mario’s loving campus
ministry comes through at the St. Francis Table on Satur
days, where his “techys” help to serve a hot lunch to the
street people. These great kids bring with them good
humor, dedication, and competence. You cannot imagine
how wonderful it is to have Tech students around when a
machine breaks down! But far more importantly, when one
of us feels tired or sad, we are cheered by the fun and
friendship these young men and women from Georgia Tech
bring to their ministry. We might sing Broadway melodies
around the dish-pan, for instance, or invent a “Song of the
Mopper” to inspire the efforts of one of the volunteers.
When Father Mario’s kids come, everyone gets fed.
I will surely miss those who will graduate this spring.
May their lives be filled witn all good things . . .
Brenda Griffin
St. Francis Table
Shrine of the
Immaculate Conception
Atlanta
opportunity to rid us of a certain amount of frivolousness
that builds up during the year.
We have all met friends who express envy when they hear
about our trip. “My husband would never let me do that,”
they say. But I’ve found they haven’t asked their husbands.
I realize how fortunate we are (and what good taste we
had in choosing husbands) but it’s possible to get away with
friends for a shorter time close to home. I know of a group
of four women who rent a hotel room in their own city one
evening in early December.
They Christmas shop all day, eat out, talk into the even
ing, sleep late and go home refreshed to families who are
happy to see them. Another group of avid bridge players
rents a condo for a weekend and play bridge incessantly. By
numbering eight, there are always enough for a table of
four. They bring their own food so their only cost is one-
fourth of the condo.
All of us — men, women, and children — need time to
spend with peers way from the family occasionally. It isn’t
selfish. It’s good mental health. And it’s good for the family
as well.
RESOUND
“The Silent Scream”
To the Editor:
Recently I viewed one of the most heartbreaking films I
have ever seen. “The Silent Scream” is a film which uses
the ultrasound to show the violent destruction of a tiny
human life. A defenseless 12-week-old fetus is shown
desperately trying to avoid his inevitable fate — death by
means of a suction abortion.
Narrated by Dr. Bernard Nathanson — himself a former
abortionist — the film shows this innocent child being total
ly dismembered by use of a suction instrument. At one point
during the last few seconds of his short life, the baby opens
his mouth wide in a silent scream — one no one can hear.
The horrifying thing is that we have allowed abortions
like this one to take place legally for the last 12 years. It is
estimated that 4,000 babies are destroyed per day in the
abortion mills across the country.
We must end this mass slaughtering of our young and
stop using abortion as a means of birth control. Wake up
America! It’s time we learned the truth about abortion —
we’re killing BABIES!
Jane Krutzky
Snellville
Ivan J. Kauffman
Fathers Are Real Men
“To Parents: Your role, in our eyes, is unsurpassed by
any other; the foundation of society is the family . . . We
pledge our continuing pastoral support in the common
objective we share of building a peaceful world for the
future of children everywhere.”
— The Bishops Pastoral Letter
‘‘The Challenge of Peace”
I’m a father. I have two
children, a son and a
daughter, both now just
finishing college. I’m im
mensely proud of both of
them. Over the last 25
years their mother and I
have devoted so much of
our lives to their welfare
it’s often hard to remember
where their lives end and
ours begin.
I’m also a son, and a
grandson — and if events
continue in the usual way
I’ll be a grandfather in the
not too distant future. I’ve
told both my children
there’s no hurry, but when
the time comes I’ll be more
than happy to assume the
responsibilities of grand
parenting. The fact is I love
kids, especially little kids,
and my own most of all. I’d
do anything for them.
Almost all men; I’ve
discovered, feel that way
about their children. We’ve
been trained not to show
our emotions — “real men
don’t cry,” you know — but
that doesn’t mean we don’t
have any. Every father
remembers the times his
children were sick or in
danger; it’s an emotion so
powerful the memory
never really leaves you.
The parental instinct to
protect your children is in a
class by itself.
There’ve been a lot of
jokes recently about what
“real men” do and don’t
do. They’re a reflection, it
seems to me, of our
uneasiness with the
“macho” male image we
grew up with — the image
portrayed by boyhood
heroes like the Lone
Ranger and Superman.
These were the strong
silent types who never
needed any help, who never
experienced defeat, and
whose only apparent rela
tionship with women was to
impress them.
Another important thing
about these mythical
heroes was they never had
children. Can you imagine
the Lone Ranger changing
diapers? Or Superman get
ting his little girl to eat her
peas? In their world “real
men” never did anything
but defeat enemies — who
always conveniently ap
peared as bad guys you
could either shoot down or
throw in jail. Every prob
lem could be solved by
force.
But if you live in the real
world, and you’re a father,
things are much more com
plicated. When your 9-year-
old can’t sleep because he’s
afraid of the dark, it
doesn’t help very much to
get out your six-shooter
and tell him you’ll blast
away at anything that
comes through the window.
Or if your teenager comes
home from a party and
tells you everybody else
was smoking pot it’s not
very practical to tell her
you’ll go along the next
time and beat up the first
guy who lights up a joint.
There’s nothing more
central to being a man than
protecting your family, but
doing that in the nuclear
age is much different than
it was in the stone age. It
used to be the enemy con
sisted of things like wild
animals and savage tribes.
Now it’s things like drugs
and fear — and above all,
war itself.
We often forget there’s
nothing more important to
a young person than feeling
he or she has a future. In a
real way the possibility of
nuclear war takes that
from them. One 15-year-old
girl said recently, “The
United States and Soviet
Union keep on making
more bombs, and sooner or
later they will drop them.”
Obviously if you feel that
way it doesn’t make much
sense to start a family.
Being a father means
giving life, but if we can’t
give our children peace,
the biological life we’ve
given them won’t be worth
much. We’ve got to protect
them from nuclear war,
and there’s only one way to
do that — make sure one
can never happen.
And there’s only one way
to do that — for every
father to get personally in
volved in a specific
peacemaking activity.
There are many things we
could be doing we aren’t.
What matters is choosing
one of them and giving it all
you’ve got.
Is there anything more
real any father could do?
TWELFTH SUNDAY
JUNE 23, 1985
Our own lives reflect today’s
Gospel. At times we are too
assured of ourselves. Then
uncertainty strikes. Christ will
subside all storms in life if we
but renew our faith and total
abandonment to the Father.
The Mass is both the effective
reminder of Christ’s presence
and the occasion of our
personal inner renewal.