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Page 2 • Faith Today
Old, young:
natural
friends
By Father Eugene LaVerdiere, SSS
NC News Service
I once watched the seeds of
friendship take root during a
six-week summer school ses
sion. The place was the
University of San Francisco.
Let me say at the outset that in
most ways friendships among Chris
tians are like all other friendships.
They are based on people recogniz
ing that they have important values
in common.
In some ways, however, friend
ships among Christians are different.
They are based on a recognition that
people have significant Christian
values in common: Jesus Christ is
important to them. So are his church
and the many things they do that
have their origins and inspiration in
Jesus’ life.
Christian friends appreciate one
another as human beings but also as
Christians, followers of Christ.
In our class, the subject was the
Eucharist — the Mass that we con
tinue to celebrate today — and how
it began and developed in the early
church.
Our reference work was the New
Testament where we explored some
of St. Paul’s words about the Lord’s
Supper and some Gospel stories
about meals with Jesus. These meals
eventually led to the Last Supper
and are part of the story of the
Eucharist’s origins.
“It is a great thing to
see young lives and
older lives nourishing
one another.”
Together we explored its origins
and what we could learn from them
for our lives today.
The composition of the class was
extraordinary.
There was a Jesuit priest, a mis
sionary in northern Thailand, who
was about 80. He was there because
he felt a need to bring himself up-to-
date on the New Testament.
There was a 70-year-old Maryknoll
priest, a missionary in Bolivia who
was responsible for what many con
sider the most important language
school for foreigners in South
America.
There also was a Trappist monk
from Alabama, a Sister from a native
American family in Alaska, and lay
people, Sisters and priests from all
over the United States and several
foreign countries.
Altogether there were about 40
students, people young and old,
from their 20s to their 80s.
One thing became clear early on.
With all the Christian and special
missionary experience in the class, I
would have the opportunity to learn
a great deal from the students and
their interchange.
I also noticed that when older
members shared experiences which
helped everyone get a deeper insight
into the New Testament stories, all
the younger people listened intently.
The older people had the respect
of the young and their affection.
People who have lived a long
time, especially if they have lived
dedicated lives, have a rich ex
perience to share.
When older people share their ex
perience generously, younger people
respond. It is a great thing to see
young lives and older lives
nourishing one another.
What you see in a classroom also
can be seen in families.
Little children, for example, res
pond instantly to their grandparents’
warmth. And grandparents reach out
to their grandchildren’s smiles.
Friendship between the young and
the old is natural. The young and
old are complementary. The young
are full of hope and promise. The
old are rich in fulfillment.
It leads me to muse about the age
of the disciples. I think of Peter and
Paul as relatively young men when
they first became followers of Christ.
But the years went by. Then along
came Mark, Timothy, Silvanus, each
at one time an associate of Paul.
Friends across the generation gap
ment in shaping the future of the
people, notably by instituting the
monarchy “in Israel.”
He and Eli must have shared all
sorts of experiences, for the shrine
was a sort of central intelligence sta
tion to which news was brought by
pilgrims from all over the land.
Eventually their relationship was
severed by a shattering experience.
Threatened by the powerful
Philistines, the people took the Ark
of the Covenant from the shrine to
lead them into battle. The ark was
captured, Eli’s two sons were killed
and at this news “Eli fell backward
from his chair into the gateway;
since he was an old man and heavy,
he died of a broken neck” (I Samuel
4:18).
Friendships between young and
old were not uncommon in Israel.
There was a generation gap, of
course. But there was no paralyzing
culture gap between the generations
as there is today.
Old and young shared the same
values, interests, occupations and
preoccupations. They danced the
same folk dances and sang the same
songs.
The young were taught to respect
their elders. But there is no reason
to think this respect was a cold at
titude of awe. It was that genuine
sort of respect which does not form
a barrier to intimacy.
(Father Castelot is a Scripture
scholar, author and lecturer.)
place. But Hannah would not take
no for an answer.
So little Samuel took up residence
at the shrine. As time went on, Eli
came to like the young fellow more
and more. He was sharp, alert, per
sonable, respectful, eager to learn. A
bond of friendship between them
grew and Samuel filled an aching
void in the old man’s heart.
Eli had two sons of his own and
they were a disaster. They exploited
the people who came to the shrine
to offer sacrifice. Brazenly they
would steal the choicest parts of the
sacrificial meats for themselves. But
as their perfidy was broadcast
throughout the land, so, by contrast,
was Samuel’s integrity.
The March December friendship of
Eli ‘and Samuel paid rich dividends
for both. Eli found solace and warm
companionship, and Samuel learned
more and more about his people and
their stormy history. Eli was able to
guide Samuel when the young man
was struggling with the vocation to
be A prophet.
One day a voice came to Samuel
in his sleep and he thought the old
map was calling him. When he went
to Eli, the sleepy priest told him to
go back to bed. He hadn’t called.
But the voice persisted. The third
time it called, Eli realized that the
Lord was speaking. So Eli instructed
Samuel to answer, “Speak, Lord, for
your servant is listening” (1 Samuel
3:9).
Indeed, it was the Lord.
Samuel was to become an instru-
1
Second Helpings. Think what happens when you feel angry and resentful
at a close friend but are afraid to tell the friend how you feel. Most often the
result is a friendship that cools off, with both people becoming polite and dis
tant. Relationships deepen when people are willing to let themselves be seen
as they really are, writes Jesuit Father William Barry in God and You: Prayer
as a Personal Relationship. The author points out that getting to know God is
akin to friendship. People can draw closer to God when they trust enough to
share negative feelings as well as positive feelings with God. (Paulist Press,
997 Macarthur Blvd., Mahwah, N.J. 07430. 1987. Paperback, $4.95.)
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Think back to a relationship between parents and an adult child that you
would characterize as a true friendship, perhaps a friendship between you and
your own parents. Tell the story of this friendship in your own words.
•What special gifts did each person bring to this friendship?
•Were there obstacles to the friendship that needed to be overcome?
•How do friendships between parents and their adult children help to
manifest the riches of God’s creation?
NC Photo by Rudoph Vetter
Mark and Peter. That must have
been some friendship.
I wonder about Mary Magdalene
too, first the young Mary, then the
mature older Mary. She must have
been a great friend to have.
I also think of the mother of
Jesus, a young woman in her teens.
And I think of Mary with the Chris
tian community years later after her
son died and rose — in her 50s and
older. She, too, would have been
some friend to have.
(Father LaVerdiere is editor of
Emmanuel.)
By Father John J. Castelot
NC News Service
E li didn’t need an assistant.
But a woman named Han
nah was determined to
dedicate her long-awaited
son to the Lord’s service
at the shrine at Shiloh in Old Testa
ment times.
She had prayed her heart out to
have a child and the old priest had
joined his prayers to hers. Now that
the prayers were answered, he felt ?
rather obliged to accept her
generous gesture of appreciation.
At his age, Eli probably was not ,
thrilled at the thought of having a
young boy running all over the
Sharing silence with Grandpa
By Jane Wolford Hughes
NC News Service •
n the waiting hour of twilight
my grandfather taught me
about silence. We fished in a *
small rowboat in a Michigan
lake until after the moon rose
glistening on the water. *
He explained the rules of fishing,
“Bait your own hook, sit still — and
don’t talk or you will disturb the
fish.”
Each trip was the same. We left
behind the clutter of life in the cot
tage and as we moved farther and e.
farther from shore, a new peace
came to us.
One time his voice entered the
silence saying, “If you listen really
hard God will tell you stories.”
I listened, and he was right. My
mind envisioned new and exciting -
“somedays” and I came close to
tears in the face of the starry night’s
beauty.
Grandpa had been a traveling
salesman whose integrity, eloquence
and charm brought a good income.
On the road he had been comforted
by the companion he came to know
so well — silence.
Though I was barely on the brink
of adolescence, I felt privileged to
have his friendship. We needed no
words to sustain it.
After college graduation I wrote
fashion copy for Hudson’s Depart
ment Store. Each morning Grandpa
drove me downtown on his way to
work. We settled comfortably into
ou» caring, silent intimacy.
It was a good way to start the
day, letting “God tell us stories.”
The world we were about to enter
would be noisy enough.
Some days my father rode with
us, for Grandpa now worked for
him. A few years later my dad and I
talked nostalgically about those rides
and the gift of growing closer
through the silence.
When my husband and I returned
from duty with the armed services
with Grandpa’s first great-grandchild,
he acted as if he were holding a vi
sion of immortality in his arms. He
was enormously pleased but
characteristically thoughtful.
'We lived in a small house which
Grandpa named The Doll House. He
visited often, puttering around fixing
things or weeding the garden.
He had a fetish about knives. Mine
were dull, which to him was one
step removed from a cook’s mortal
sin. He sharpened the knives on his
stone once a month.
Each visit he spent time holding
Diane, humming little tunes and
snatches of hymns.
When Diane was walking he took
her for strolls to the park nearby,
pushing her gently in a swing. Occa
sionally he talked to her about the
birds and flowers.
I don’t know whether their
silences left a mark on Diane or if it
is in her genes, but she grew up
seeking, guarding and relishing
places of silence away from the bus
tle of her brothers and sisters.
In 1947 when I looked at Grand
pa in the casket with his red tie and
his elegant suit I grinned, remember
ing his old tan fishing sweater frayed
at the sleeves.
I sat next to the coffin for I was
carrying his second great-grandchild
and standing was hard.
Pondering all he had taught me, I
heard him say gently, “God has
many more stories to tell you.”
He was right.
(Mrs. Hughes is a religious educa
tion consultant and a free-lance
writer.)
Page 3 • Faith Today
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Age: 33
Native of: Pennsylvania is
home, but raised in a military
family and lived in a number
of foreign countries and
several states.
Education: B.A., Immaculata
College, Pennsylvania; AD
in Nursing, Cochran School
of Nursing, New York
Outside Interests: Reading,
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“My interest in nursing developed concurrently with my desire to make a
lifetime commitment to God. My vocation, a gift from God, is a means
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DOMINICAN SISTERS OF HAWTHORNE
A religious community of Catholic women with seven modern nursing
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