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PAGE 10 — The Georgia Bulletin, March 1,1990
By Katharine Bird
Catholic News Service
For Jesuit Father Robert Fambrini,
one blessing of being a pastoral minister
to people with AIDS is witnessing the
reconciliation that can occur.
He is associate pastor at Blessed
Sacrament Parish in Hollywood, Calif.
Fluent in Spanish, he often ministers to
Hispanics with acquired immune defi
ciency syndrome.
He told of a San Diego, Calif., dentist,
bom and raised in Tijuana, Mexico, who
became ill with AIDS. Father Fambrini
provided pastoral care to the man and
his mother for the 15 months until his
death.
“The miracle, or healing, that took
place was he became aware for the first
time in his life that he was truly loved
by his family,’’ Father Fambrini said.
The family became “totally accepting”
and the young man died “very much at
peace.”
Asked to explain what a pastoral
minister to the sick does, Father
Fambrini said he tries to be the kind of
“supportive, loving presence” Christ
would be if he were here today.
This means ministering the
sacraments when they are requested,
spending time with patients, keeping
alert to what patients and families need.
For Father Nicholas Christiana, a pas
toral minister is “a person of compassion
and love willing to be patient in listen
ing.” He bases his ministry on Matthew
25 which says, “Whatever you do to my
brothers and sisters you do to me.”
Father Christiana is consultant to the
AIDS Chaplaincy Program in San
Diego, Calif. It is an ecumenical con
ference with 90 men and women minis
ters, lay and ordained, from 21 different
faith traditions.
Father Christiana became an AIDS
pastoral minister after going through
quadruple bypass surgery and then a
year later discovering that one can be
infected with the AIDS virus through
blood transfusions. He had eight during
surgery, but was not infected by the
virus.
“The question that came to mind was,
If I had AIDS what would I want?” he
said. “My answer was to be ministered
to in a non-judgmental way.”
He told of talking to a young AIDS
patient, who “was devastated by what
people will think. He felt lonely and
isolated and rejected.”
Father Christiana said he reassures
AIDS patients that “they are loved by
a loving God.”
A pastoral minister’s task with ter
minal patients is “to collaborate with
them through this important passage of
life,” said Trappist Father Basil
Pennington.
Along with ministering to AIDS
patients, Father Pennington serves at
the Trappist infirmary at St. Joseph
Abbey in Spencer, Mass., where he lives.
He is a well-known writer and lecturer
on spirituality.
Father Pennington traces his concern
for the sick back to the age of 7 when
his father became sick with rheumatic
fever.
He said he was “deeply impressed”
then by the strength and peace that his
mother and grandmother displayed dur
ing the 20 weeks his father “wasted
away.” They communicated a sense of
“hope and peacefulness despite the
stark tragedy of losing a young man of
33,” the priest said.
The pastoral ministers I interviewed
spoke of some special dimensions of
their ministry.
Many AIDS patients who are gay
“have the sense that society and the
church hate them,” Father Pennington
said. This makes AIDS “a terrible
burden.”
Accordingly, ministers try to provide
a “positive spiritual program of sup
port,” he said. They need “to be heal
ing persons knowing a tremendous
amount of healing needs to be done on
all levels.”
The minister must have a good under
standing of AIDS and “not be afraid of
it or have negative attitudes toward
people who are suffering from it,”
Father Pennington said.
AIDS also can pose special problems
for family members.
It can be a “triple whammy” for
families, said Father Fambrini.
Sometimes a family comes from some
distance away to discover at one and the
same time that their son “has AIDS
and is dying and is gay.”
In such cases the minister needs to
provide compassionate support as
family members deal with their feelings.
Atonement Friar Father James
Gardiner’s special concern is “who
ministers to the minister” — all the staff
people who provide care to people with
AIDS.
“I’m not sure we are good enough yet
at recognizing the needs of people on the
front line and doing enough to respond
to them,” he said.
On his weekly visits to a day-care
center for homeless people with AIDS,
Father Gardiner said he “invariably
ends up talking with the staff too.”
Because their clients are getting
weaker all the time, they “expend a lot
of energy,” he said. They need some
encouragement and recognition that
their hard work is appreciated.
Father Gardiner has worked with
AIDS patients in New York City for six
years. He says he has about one funeral
a week of patients who range in age
from 23 to 60; the majority are in their
late 30s.
Father Gardiner’s concern for support
staff is a carryover from his mother’s
eight-year illness with Alzheimer’s
disease.
“She suffered, but I saw my father
suffer and the rest of the family too,”
he said. “One person has the disease,
but all suffer.”
(Ms. Bird is associate editor of Faith
Alive.)
FAITH IN THE MARKETPLACE
What can members of the church do for the sick that makes a difference?
My youngest son died four
years ago and I still cherish those
who took the time to listen and to
love We as church members
need to be there — in prayer, as
listeners and to help with little
chores that must be done.”
— Anne Fitzgerald, Durham, N.C.
In my opinion, the best thing
we can do for the sick is to show
them that we care and that they
are not left alone.”
— Shirley Becker, Moscow, Idaho.
A friend was dying of cancer.
She loved pancakes, so we
brought her pancakes whenever
we could. She was so grateful
for the breakfast and for our
concern.”
— Marie McFadden, Havertown, Pa.
i£
The really big thing is to talk
to them and not let them remain
alone in their suffering. Ask them
what it is like.”
— Andrea Davidson, Grangeville, Idaho.
An upcoming edition asks: As a participant, what makes you active, not passive, during the Sunday liturgy?
If you’d like to respond to that question for possible publication, write: Faith Alivel 3211 Fourth St. N.E., Washington, D.C. 20017-1100.