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JOKES
I'cachcr: (Bible class) “How did Saul iirst
meet David?”
Student: "When Saul had the blues David
came and played for him."
Teacher: “If your father knew how you
were acting he’d be grayheaded with grief.”
Student: ‘That’s nice. He has been bald-
headed for some years now."
Bill: "Are you all out
of breath?”
Jim: "No, the breath is
all out of me.”
Professor: “Late again
! And for what are
you late this time?”
Student: “For class, I
think.”
He: ‘If you look at me like that I am going
to kiss you.”
She: “I can't hold this expression much
longer."
Fortune Teller: “Your husband will be brave,
generous, handsome and rich."
Mary: “How wonderful! Now tell me, how
can I get rid of the one I have now?”
ANOTHER GREAT PERSON
BORN IN FEBRUARY
February 8 was the day Miss Julia Pate
celebrated. On that evening she entertained a j
few of her friends at her birthday party. The 1
guests spent the time in chatting, joking, and |
admiring the gifts of their hostess who in her
accustomed cordial and charming manner, serv
ed a delicious course of cold air sandwiches
and cold water sauce (with repartee).
FABLE FOR JUNIORS
(II ith Apologies to Mr. Lowell)
By Pauline A. Nelson
“There’s one near you,” Sadie Brown, “the
eternal flapper.” Now, “Count the Buick”
with Naomi Smith, who “drives it herself.”
It's agreed that Gaston Bradford, who wears
"correct dress for women,” is “the prefer
ence of men of good taste.” It’s all “wet”
that “brains and beauty" count, for we see
it very prominent in “Bee” Tucker, who is
“best by test" in athletics. It’s rumored that
Retha Jackson with “a skin you love to
touch," and Aquilla Jones, whose “every
musical transaction is a satisfaction,” are
“citizens where they serve." Take notice of
Florence Jones, who has “all the qualities
of good health," and “they say a certain
young man at Hampton is tried and true.”
\Ye are all betting on Genevieve Lee, whose
Northern brogue has a “smack that others
lack."
“It’> toasted," and “they satisfy,” says Alice
Priestly concerning the numerous holidays of
New Orleans. A certain young lady, so I'm
told, is on intimate terms with the “Don't
cuss; phone us" man, during the cold days
especially, and that a certain Mr. S. A. V.,
certainly “says it with flowers." Wonder if
the young lady is Ann Nabrit? “When it
rains it pours" out that Mosetta Miles is
"modern t<> the minute," and that “Julia
Pate is "the choice of those who know
what’s what” in brilliancy. We can't forget
.Mina Ferguson, who is "on the road to sue-j
THE CAMPUS MIRROR
cess” for “success is surely the reward of
her toil.”
Frankie Clark and Eunice Roberts, the
proud possessors of "that school girl com
plexion" are constantly receiving boxes of
"Norris Exquisite."
‘Satisfaction is surely a certainty" with
Irene Dobbs when all of her piano perform
ances are “good to the last drop." Does the
sun ever set on the popularity of Barbara
Smith? "It won’t be long now” till Alice
Webster has "a good place to eat.” Per
haps we have the "season's best in 1 helma
Brown, who gets oranges from California
that have "a flavor you can’t forget." We
have the "best for less” in “Bill" Barnett,
“the King of them all." “Every drop is a
drop of delight" when it comes to Estelle
Bailey’s personality.
There’s Myrtle Clarke, who says, “They
don't know what it’s all about" since her de
portment seems “better than ever. 1 he
whole of difference in Thelma Bolling is that
her wisecracks “cover Spelman like the dew.
Please accept these criticisms “from a wom
an who knows,” or Pauline Nelson, "the poor
man’s friend.”
HIGH SCHOOL LITERARY
SOCIETY
By Lennie Green, H. S. '28
The Braithwaite Literary Society, composed
of members of the Senior class of '28, held
its first regular meeting on December 20. The
officers are Augusta Johnson, president: Edna
Blackburn, vice-president; Lennie Green, sec
retary; Helen Carr, treasurer; Bernice Young,
critic; Vivian Richardson, chairman of pro
gram committee; and Garnie Ison, sergeant-at-
arms.
The aim of the society is to secure to its
members intellectual and social culture and a
knowledge of parliamentary usage. The motto
is “We learn not for school but for life."
The society meets on the first and third Tues-
I days of every month in the Laura Spelman
j assembly room.
The programs are planned to acquaint the
members with the stages of literature as adapted
to various ages. The first program was con
fined to nursery rhymes, and the second, fables, j
Nursery rhymes and fables are child’s litera- I
ture.
THE WAR STILL GOES ON
By Augusta Johnson, H. S. ’28
I am a diphtheria germ. My present resi
dence is a tiny spot on Throat Avenue. It
would be an ideal home if there were more
like me to keep me company. This seems
impossibe, however, as my landlord uses such
health regulators as pure food, pure water,
plenty of fresh air and exercise to prevent
my family from being increased.
In that respect he is somewhat different
from my last landlord. It took me no longer
than 24 hours to get settled with him and to
start raising a family. Soon there were great
crowds of us and we were having a merry
time—at the landlord's expense. Finally he
cotdd stand us no longer and sent around a
messenger, who gave us notice that we must
vacate immediately. If we refused (and of
course, we did) the matter of our leaving j
would be settled by combat.
The combat began immediately. We fought
with all our might—not merely to keep our
home but to maintain our very existence
against an enemy which seemed set on an
nihilating us. For three days the struggle
continued with the outcome doubtful. At
the end of that time we perceived ourselves
losing as more and more of our numbers
fell. The victory was complete. The few of
us who remained alive planned a hasty de
parture. As we were leaving, I heard the
landlord say: “Yes, the antitoxin saved the
day.”
It was then that I learned, for the first
time, whom we had been fighting. From
subsequent remarks I gleaned that these ene
mies had come from the blood of a horse.
So greatly had they impressed certain men
by the manner in which they had resisted
a company of diphtheria germs which had en
tered the horse, that the men hired them as
a standing army to fight other diphtheria
germs.
Woe is me if they should find me here!
There is hardly enough luck left to allow me
to escape a second time. I have not out
raged the landlord as yet by trying to in
crease my tribe—in fact there has been little
chance for it owing to reasons I mentioned
at the beginning. The only thing left for
me to do is to watch and wait. Perhaps
some day I may catch him off his guard
and then perhaps I shall win. Who knows?
FOR LINCOLN'S BIRTHDAY
Such a life and character will be treasured
forever as the sacred possession of the Ameri
can people and of mankind.—James .4. Car-
field.
He has no parallel since Washington and
while our Republic endures he will live with
him in the grateful hearts of his grateful coun
trymen.—Schuyler Colfax.
I had never had a feeling politically that did
not spring from the sentiments embodied in the
Declaration of Independence, which gave lib
erty, not alone to the people of this country,
but to the world in all future time.—Abraham
Lincoln.
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