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VIEWPOINTS
Taking Care of Our
Children and Ourselves
As lesbian and gay people we are often diligent in our attempts (at least in theory) to embrace
people from opressed minorities. We strive to ensure the rights of all others, understanding that
"none of us are free until all are free". However, as a community we fail frequently when we do
not include and support a large and silent voice: the children of lesbian and gay parents.
There has been a lot of discussion about our desires to nurture children and our choice to take rat
a parental role. The case is often made that we are not thinking for ourselves when we choose to be
parents. Instead, we are following prescribed social norms that opress us and don’t allow us the
freedom or energy to live our lives productively. There is a kernel of truth in those words. Indeed
parents (traditionally mothers) have given a great deal of their energy to nurturing children with
little or no support from society and certainly not from the lesbian and gay community. However,
children are human beings (contrary to popular belief) with thoughts and feelings that are always
unique and often very exciting. They, in return, have gifts for us if we will listen.
Many of us do have children. By virtue of the fact that their parents are lesbian and gay, they
too are a part of our community. Regardless of their consciousness of their own sexual orientation,
we have a community responsibility to include their voices as part of our community. We cannot
pretend that the children do not exist.
This does not mean that lesbian and gay parents should be delegated solely for educating and
nurturing children. Everyone is responsible. We attempt to educate the media, government
employees, our families of origin and people we come in contact with. However, we do not
discuss educating children similarly. Perhaps this is partly because they are perceived as not
having power, therefore, unworthy of our attention. This is a very limiting and dangerous view.
We need to begin to create environments where our children are welcome rather than
occasionally tolerated. When organizations plan events, provisions for children should be an
automatic and credible part of the planning process. It is an intolerable assumption that childcare
provided at events will be staffed by parents. Event organizers have often said that people do not
utilize childcare provisions, thus conclude that it is not important. Isn't it understandable? It is not
enough to provide a small space away from activities and an undercurrent of hatred and
unwelcomeness. Given the choice, most people would not choose to be in a place where they are
at best tolerated and often the source of political discussion on their "right to be".
We need to welcome lesbian and gay parents and their children. Children are not inherently bad
because they fall under the range of acceptable chronological age. We can learn a great deal about
each other and ourselves by listening to someone who has not weathered the fears of our society's
opressive values. Many of us expend a lot of energy getting in touch with the "child within" yet we
shut children out. Perhaps it's our homophobia or anger at anything we perceive as being a part of
heterosexual society that causes us to deny the existence of children in our community. To do this
because the children may be the product of a heterosexual union is foolish, not to mention
injurious, to our children and to ourselves.
It's time we face the fact that there are children in our community; it is not only their parents'
responsibility but everyone's responsibility to care for them and to love them. Children are great
teachers—it's time to start listening. That way, we take care of the children and ourselves.
SOUTHERN
VOICE
Managing Editor Assistant Managing Editor
Chris Cash Chris Duncan
Art Director Advertising/Classifieds
Stebbo Hill Joe Vindich
STAFF
Karl Boyce, Marie duPont, Dave Hayward, Patricia Jackson, John Kappers, Rhonda
Mensen, Jeanine Quintana, Elena Rutter, Leigh VanderEls
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Page 4
Pedophile/Homosexual:
The Myth Lives On
Stories of sexual abuse of male children by male perpetrators are hot topics for the media these
days and they have been fa- seme time. The daily and more frequent horror stories of female
children abused by males are seldom mentioned. As lesbians and gay men, it's understandable for
us to assume that the same-sex aspect is the underlying reason for the media attention. But is the
alleged "homsexual" nature of the crime the primary reason we are served up story after story of
men molesting male children? The answer is more complicated than that. Both homophobia and
sexism are driving the media in this coverage.
Historically, male children have been more highly valued as a group than female children.
Also, it is still assumed by a large portion of our society, that men have an jnherent right to be
sexually agressive where women are expected to be passive and accept this imbalance of power.
The media reflect all of these values. The reason we see more stories of sexual abuse of males
than females is because the abuse oT males is perceived as a more heinous crime. Rape puts the
male child in the traditional role of "female". And like it or believe it or not, the female role is near
the bottom of the hierarchical power ladder, right down there with gays and lesbians, people of
color and people with disabilities. The media's emphasized coverage of man-to-boy abuse is not
just homophobic, it's sexist.
The majority of child sexual abuse cases involve a heterosexual male perpetrator and a female
child. This is well-documented and statistics are easily available from the Georgia Council on
Child Abuse. But the media do not report on these unless the story also involves mutilation or
murder. It appears that incidents of grown men sexually abusing little girls is-commonplace,
expected, and therefore, not newsworthy.
The homophobic aspects of mainstream media coverage of man-to-boy sexual abuse come into
play when they make no distinction between pedophilia and homosexuality. No disclaimer or
statement is ever made that says, "the overwhelming majority of gay men are not pedophiles," and
they should say that; it is irresponsible and dangerous not to do so. When a reader or viewer
learns that a man has sexually abused a boy, a logical assumption is made that the man is a
homosexual, but this may or may not be the case. By failing to make a distinction between
homosexuality and pedophilia by omitting that information, the tired old myth that gays "recruit"
children is perpetuated ad nauseum. And sins of omission are as dangerous as sins of commission.
As long as people are fed the myth, our battle for equal rights under the law will continue to be
thwarted. We will never be seen as a "minority" that deserves fair treatment as long as the media
present us as criminals. We will continue to have violence against us as well, because the myth
also gives license to people to "bash the queers".
The myth of homosexual as child abuser is the one we must fight first, and the hardest, because
it is the one that continues to be put in the face of the American public on a daily basis. Until we
educate the media, we cannot educate the public. Unfortunately, today more than ever, the media
is the message.
For more Information call — 766*8631
Atlanta, Ga. — April 30th
Gather at World Congraaa Center 12 noon, March at 1:00 pm
Rally at 2:00 pm (In Civic Center Parking Lot)
Jobs With Justice: A Nationwide Campaign for Workers' Rights, will hold a march and rally in
Atlanta on Saturday, April 30th. Jobs With Justice is a national coalition of community, religious,
civil rights, labor and women's groups who have come together to build unity and support for basic
workers' rights and to gamer support for the rights of all people.
Thanks to the efforts of Cathy Woolard and The Atlanta March Committee, the Georgia Call for
Jobs With Justice includes "sexual orientation" in the mission statement. It reads: It is time that
we agressively reassert the great goals of the human rights and labor movements of justice
and equality for all people regardless of race, sex, age, disability, sexual orientation, religion
or national origin.
Some of Jobs With Justice national endorsers include: Southern Christian Leadership
Conference, Martin Luther King, Jr. Center for Non-violent Social Change, Inc., Coalition of
Labor Union Women, National Organization for Women and National Farmers Union among
others.