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OBITUARY Health and Healing The gay and lesbian community is challenged to find and improve ways of maintaining our health and healing our hearts and our bodies. This column will offer insight and advice by various writers with a range of viewpoints and expertise. To submit an article or request a topic, contact Franklin Abbott in care of Southern Voice, P.O. Box 54719, Atlanta, GA 30308 John Rushing Howell 11/7/33 - 6/28/88 known as "John Howell Park". The litany of John's involvement and his years of direct service to affect social change and improve the quality of life Stokes of Atlanta and other family members - a large and devoted circle of friends, gay and straight, who will always carry him in their hearts. Crisis, Opportunity and Family Healing The existence of a health crisis within the gay community has finally been acknowledged. Less so is that the health crisis existed long before the spread of HIV within the gay male population. Clearly a population with epidemic exposure to Hepatitis B, substance abuse estimates ranging from 25% - 50% of the population, a high suicide attempt rate in its youth and most heavily targeted for hate crimes, has health problems that transcend HIV and the AIDS era. I believe that the origin and continuation of these problems can be traced to the dynamics of denial and isolation that often become entrenched in the individual and in the family when a core issue is maintained in a state of secrecy and denial. I believe the seriousness of the current health crisis has eroded the viability of both secrecy and denial and this erosion, while frightening and painful, creates certain opportunities. The majority of gay men and lesbians can recall a time during childhood when they realized that they had a secret Perhaps somewhat formless but nevertheless real, its existence, not to mention content should never be revealed. Such a state of secrecy can only be maintained through withdrawal from emotional intimacy. Uncorrected,overtime, the familial response is often mutual withdrawal, distortion and denial. For the child the experience of parental love is compromised and healthy self-love and self esteem is damaged. Parents often experience a puzzling sense of failure. The AIDS epidemic has alarmed most families of gay men. Yet despite the loss of denial many families remain locked in isolation and secrecy. It does not have to be this way. While there are undoubtedly some parents and families that will reject their gay members if the truth is revealed, my experience tells me that many if not most families can reconcile in a meaningful way. Reconciliation is a two-way street, however. It means giving up the position of being the misunderstood outsider and working at overcoming withdrawal. It involves giving up the advantages of victimhood. In this case it involves changing deeply ingrained interactional patterns, re examining core values and exercising patience, compassion, wisdom and forgiveness. Louise Hay says that we become ready to forgive when being happy becomes more important than being right Recently I have seen this dynamic come into play in several families of gay men. In each case the precipitating factor was a diagnosis of ARC. In each case, the individual commented on the irony that it took a diagnosis to get the family members dealing with each other. Each of these individuals came forth courageously to his family. My question is, does it really take a diagnosis? How many families are waiting for their children to break the silence, the frightened and worried silence? The answer, I believe, is quite a few. Some will have a hard time accepting. No worthy goal is without risks, but risks can be evaluated and conflicts can be resolved. October 12th is National Coming Out Day. Hopefully the attendant publicity will help families and individuals move a step closer to sharing. - David Bassett, MSW, LCSW David Bassett is a psychotherapist practicing in the Buckhead area. He has extensive experience in individual and family psychotherapy and a particular interest in the integration of the two. He can be reached at 351-5307. On June 28th, John Howell died at his home from AIDS. His death marks the loss of a vital and active community member and a gentle and caring man. His legacy of love and activism stretches over a period of more than thirty years. John received his undergraduate degree from Milsaps College in Jackson, Mississippi and his Masters of Social Work from Tulane University. His social work career began in Mississippi in public child welfare and included a period of time working with Hanson's disease and community mental health services. In Atlanta, John worked for the state of Georgia in day care, for the U.S. Children's Bureau, the Social Security Administration and was currendy working at the Veterans Administration Hospital in the Alcohol and Drug Center. John's community work included participation in the lesbian/gay chapter of the ACLU since 1981 when it was formed. He served on the board of the Georgia ACLU, initially as chapter president and then as as independent openly gay citizen. He was a founding member of GOAL (Georgians Against Archaic Laws). His participation was critical in obtaining funds for on-going litigation. John was the second openly gay citizen appointed to public office in the City of Atlanta with his nomination to the License and Review Board. He was a founder of the Georgia AIDS Action Council, LEGAL (Legislate Equality for Lesbians and Gays) and an active board member of SAME (Southeastern Arts, Media and Education Project). John was president of the Virginia Highland Civic Association for two terms where he worked to restore that neighborhood.Atlanta Councilmember Maiy Davis will introduce an ordinance on July 5th requesting that Virginia- Highland Park be renamed and be John Howell (R) and his lover, Gil Litton at the 1979 March on Washington. for the gay and lesbian community is long. The effect of John's work will always be remembered. The loss of his warmth and love and caring and stubborn hope and participation will be missed. John is survived by his sister and brother-in-law, Rosemary and Jim Stokes of Orlando, Fla., his nephew, Jim John's memorial service will be held on Saturday, July 9 at 4:00 PM at the Unitarian Universalist Church at 1911 Cliff Valley Way. All donations should be sent to the Atlanta Humane Society. BUCKHEAD BOOKS 47 W. PACES FERRY ROAD, ATLANTA, GA 30305 261-4829 PART OF OUR CATAG ORIES CONSIST OF BOTH NEW & USED BOOKS IN: ENGLISH HISTORY • PHILOSOPHY • CIVIL WAR WWI • WW H • BIOGRAPHY • REGIONAL • GEORGIA HISTORY• SOUTHERN AUTHORS •ART •U.S. HISTORY AFRICA • HUNTING • OLDER SPORTS BOOKS • GOLF LIFE MAGAZINES (LATE 30S, 40S) •CHRISTIAN COMMENTARIES OLD BIBLES • ARCHITECTURE RF/MBK ofbuckhead an independent member broker jamie richardson atlanta board million dollar club 2911 piedmont atlanta, georgia 30305 office: (404) 233-4633 digital res: (404) 525-5111 pager: 533-3338 DAN R. EASTON Financial Services Specialist • Insurance • Investments • Financial Planning • IRA’s • Estate Planning • Tax Planning 2920 Brandywine Road Suite 250 Atlanta, GA 30341 (404) 457-0087 New South Center for Counseling and Psychotherapy David Bassett, M.S.W. Licensed Clinical Social Worker Individual, Group and Couples Psychotherapy 1819 Peachtree Rd., N.E. Suite 420 Atlanta, GA 30309 DEBORAH E. KEEFE ATTORNEY AT LAW LaVista Center 1535 LaVista Road, N.E. (404) 634-3835 Atlanta, GA 30329 Page 13