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Dyke 101: Finding
Your Way Home
To the Editor
A neat friend recently gave me my first
copy of Southern Voice. Realizing I suffer
from a severe case of "homophobia," she
assured me that its plain brown wrapper
would conceal any and all traces of the word
LESBIAN that might appear in bold print on
its face-and any other thing that would even
suggest that the person possessing the plain
brown envelope was one of "those folks."
Having experienced a hunger for what’s
happening in the gay community for many
years and certainly wondering who was
making it happen, I rushed home-forgetting
to run by the bank, pick up supper from the
local fast food emporium or to get my usual
five dollars' worth of gas. I bolted the door,
ripped the newspaper from its recycled cover
and read and reread. I even read the ads again
and again, and I thought how neat it is that
such a publication exists.
There are lots of brave, dedicated folks out
there fighting and sacrificing for us-the
political action committees, the support
groups, the protesters!
And as I turned the pages, I began to
conjure up excuses "why" those folks can
afford to take such risks and fight for our
rights. Perhaps they have less to lose than I
when they step out of their closets and shout
from their soapboxes. Perhaps they have
more guts than I because they are "used" to
being gay. Maybe they acknowledged it
many years ago. Yes, I'd be willing to bet that
they did not wait 'til they were "fortyish" to
crack the closet door. Of course they should
have more guts-more stamina. They should
be out there on the front lines-fighting our
battles-negotiating to win our war. After all,
I'm still in training, still struggling through
"boot camp." I have so much to learn, to
experience-so much pain and anger to get rid
of. I deserve a certain period of adjustment
Let them earn the purple hearts for now!
As I continued to gobble up the articles in
the July 21,1988 issue, I came across the
story written by Marcia Zeimer. How tragic it
was for sisters such as she back in the Fifties.
And I realized how tragic the suffering is in
this day and time for so many of our family
members-the people with AIDS, those
discriminated against in the work force and
those of us rejected by our relatives and
"friends."
And I realized how truly tragic it is that
others have assumed the role I have assumed,
the coward who buries her head in the fox
hole and whimpers, never daring to stand up
and become a possible target, the coward who
expects others to do all the suffering so that
she might suffer less.
After having a good "cry" and a mini pity
party, I then made myself a solemn promise:
THIS DAY I SHALL BEGIN TO DIG OUT
OF MY FOX HOLE. Perhaps the digging
will be slow at first-as I make my way toward
the front lines. Maybe my initial step will be
to attend a support group or maybe IH
volunteer to help with a mailing for a special
project, or maybe Til send a donation to AID
Atlanta or the Human Rights Campaign Fund,
OR perhaps I shall start gathering the
materials and gaining the experience to begin
building my own soapbox. Who knows!
I do believe that one day I might be right
there on the front lines shoulder to shoulder
and hand in hand with the brave, dedicated
sisters and brothers.
So-if you are one of those troopers, please
be patient with me, and "hold down the
forL..for I am coming."
SJM
Atlanta
CoheHEAH
~>AT #6&£RTS6/\)'S
MOON 77/
PROUFIC;
TuT “'™
“TO *
A \/l I
Ex-presidential candidate and television evangelist Pat Robertson issued a
nation-wide appeal two weeks ago calling far-right Christians to descend on
Atlanta and make it an "abortion-free" city. Despite Robertson's involvement,
operations are reported to be normal at all Atlanta women's clinics.
"Trying to change
AGC is... like
trying to change
Hosea Williams"
To the Editor
Your article and editorial about the Atlanta
Gay Center/MACGLO/GayCLU/Police
Advisory brouhaha bring to light an
interesting dilemma facing the gay rights
movement: Can we continue to seek power
(as does the AGC) by positioning ourselves
as victims ?
There is good and strong historical context
for this stance. Ghandi and King used
variations on the theme (albeit with far greater
finesse and effect than anything we have seen
from the AGC). And it worked. Media
coverage of Birmingham cops cum dogs
rightfully enraged and educated a nation.
But the '40s and the '60s are not the late
'80s. And the leadership of the AGC does not
have the popular support that gave power to
King and Ghandi.
There are potent problems inherent in
seeking power via this route: Given the
generally homophobic/racist/sexist tilt of the
established power base in this country it's
easy to see how minorities can feel
victimized. That power base can generally be
guilt-tripped into some token response to
victim-based pleas for justice, equality or
whatever. Problem is what we get in the
process are generally crumbs defined by the
oppressive types who dole them out
Then there is the corollary that assuming
the stance of victim implicitly creates a
persecutor. Anyone old enough to remember
Transactional Analysis (or courant enough to
know about adult children of alcoholics) will
recognize the trap here. Observers of the
AGC will recognize the pattern: In TA
parlance, victim and persecutor furiously
exchange roles while well-meaning onlookers
attempt the rescuer role. Or, in ACOA terms,
enablers support addicts who, in turn, attack
the well meaning actions of the enablers.
Whatever terms are used, the outcome is
always the same: Melodrama. Trying to
change the ways of AGC is a little like trying
to change Hosea Williams. Both thrive on
being attacked. When the rest of the world is
too busy (or smart) to mount such an attack,
the victims go out looking for trouble.
The only way to help victims and addicts
is to quit playing their games; stop supporting
their melodrama. Atlanta is home to many
wonderful gay and lesbian organizations
whose public stance is positive and pro-active
rather than victim based and reactive. We do
ourselves and our movement no honor when
we continue to interact with people or groups
who insist on playing the victim.
Sincerely,
Gary Kaupman
Save the Babies...
but Don't Feed,
Support or
Educate Them
To the Editor
They sang of red, yellow, black and whites
together, but there was no rainbow amongst
the anti-abortionists at the Midtown Hospital.
A sea of pious whites Ousted with religious
fervor and hypocritical zealousness paraded
in front of me. They chanted and sang as
long as there was a camera to record the
event They tried to harass and intimidate,
frighten and insult but our lines held them
back.
They lay down to be arrested at our feet on
cue, some having prepared for the jail trip by
carrying a bag of necessities.
I think of two most offensive events: first
was a towel-draped fetus being exploited. If
they are so concerned, they should have given
it a respectful burial. Then there was the most
obnoxious child who was not aborted. She
was about 12, waving tracts under our noses,
shouting across the iron spiked fence,
interrupting everybody with her senseless
haranguing. She will carry her parents' tactics
into the next century, and we will still do
battle with them, never giving up the right to
choose.
Their battle is long lost, a single-issue with
no consideration for the repercussions. These
folks are the same who are the "aginners" -
against WIC, food and milk once the babies
are bom. No day care, thank you, which
enables the mothers to support those children.
No sex education once they need the
knowledge, perhaps to avoid the need for an
abortion. One woman complained she had
two abortions, but no one told her a fetus
(baby) was being removed. She proved the
case for sex education.
They are against poor mothers who need
welfare. In other words, have the baby, give
it away if you must Being a surrogate
mother is okay, but not one cent to help you.
I was proud to hold hands with other
lesbians and gay men, in an issue that is a
cousin to our own causes, for we battle the
same foe. I was proud to meet straight men
and women who were as fervent as I. I was
proud in my team-identifying turquoise T-
shirt, to stand hard against the screaming
mob. I was proud to see my face on TV, and
tell my kids in New York to watch for me on
cable. My parents in Florida said "Good for
you," and I was filled with pride.
The centers need our help. When the calls
go out, respond. You will be proud, too.
Sincerely,
Miriam Carroll
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