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AI OS FOCUS
Living With AIDS:
"I Hope You're Being Careful."
I just talked to my girlfriend. She was upset about telling people what I do for a living.
She said she couldn't lie, she wasn't good at that And anyway, I'm so up front about it, that
she couldn't deny me.
I said don't answer at all. Say it's too personal.
But she always answered questions put to her. She didn't want to do that The problem was
the asking person's response.
"I hope you're being careful."
She doesn't like to be questioned like this. She doesn't say that to friends when they take on
a new lover.
She doesn't like to be questioned about safe sex.
'Cause we don’t practice safe sex.
A lot of lesbians don't
Most of us read the break down of the victim statistics, and sigh with relief that lesbians don't
seem to get AIDS. .
My girlfriend and I discussed our risk and made decisions before our first sexual encounter.
I insisted on us wearing gloves.
She didn't like them. She couldn't tell how I was built inside, how I felt where I was wet
We talked again. We had sex again, without the gloves. It was better without them.
Tonight she said the response about being careful brought up her fears, and she wasn't used
to being in fear. She had forgotten her fears.
Her fears about me getting AIDS or other sexually transmitted disease. About her catching
the diseases. Of me dying. Of her dying.
She said "the response" made her question our decision to not practice safe sex.
I asked if she had changed her mind.
No. And she didn't want to deal with it, she said.
It would be great if we could wish it all away. Instead of talking, or arguing, about it I wish
none of us had to worry about catching disease while making love.
I want to be spontaneous, and not use latex, because it tastes bad, and ruins the touch
sensation.
But dykes hardly ever get AIDS. Maybe we can't pass it.
But some dykes are at higher risk because of their lifestyles-needles, transfusions, sex with
men. .
Some dykes have sex with men. For money, only.
I have sex with men for money, and I am a dyke, and at greater risk to contract a sexually
transmitted disease. This is true.
We make our choices facing these facts.
My girlfriend had forgotten her fears until someone asked her what her new girlfriend did for
a living.
I suggested that she prepare pat answers to answer with.
Maybe turnabout is fair play. "Well, I hope you and your lover are being careful, too."
Or, perhaps a mini lecture would do. "Nancy is very active in the safe sex movement She
lectures and demonstrates for groups. She knew about AIDS before most people. She's used
Nancy Oswall (Photo by Lynn Levy)
condoms and gloves with her clients for more than five years. We all should do what we can to
educate people about this horrible health crisis."
Remember, their questions probably aren’t meant to be bossy or nosey. They're probably
concerned for your well being, and need to be reassured that you are aware of the risks. It all
depends on who these people are that you tell.
Or avoid "the response" by not telling what I do. Tell them I'm an entrepreneur, that I run a
cottage industry, that I free-lance. You won't be hurting me not to tell. I don't expect you to
become an advocate for prostitutes' rights.
Tell them I am a student. If they push, and want to know what I do for money, say I’m a
writer.
Or change the topic and tell them I sing like an angel.
I'm sorry you went through this. What you're feeling is normal. The word prostitute always
affects people.
It's not easy defending a social pariah.
And anyway, you don't have to defend our choices.
We are the ones who live, or die, with our decisions.
- Nancy Oswall
Updates
Kitty Dukakis
Supports Federal
AIDS Policy
Kitty Dukakis, wife of Democratic
presidential nominee Mass. Gov. Michael
Dukakis, told a dozen San Francisco AIDS-
service organization leaders last month that
she would like to see more federal
involvement in the fight to conquer AIDS.
"Until the federal government begins to
focus on this epidemic, we will have large
numbers dying of AIDS," she said. "The
President must proclaim that those deaths are
unacceptable and morally wrong."
Calling AIDS "the worst health crisis the
United States has ever faced," Dukakis added
that a federal policy should include
accelerated drag trials, legislation prohibiting
discrimination against people with AIDS and
more educational programs.
"Federal education efforts are long
overdue," she said. "It is intolerable that
anyone should become infected through
ignorance."
After her meeting with the organization
leaders, Dukakis promised to "go back and
share with my husband what I have learned."
While in San Francisco, Dukakis also
delivered a meal and a hug to a 29-year-old
AIDS patient The patient is one of 450 in the
San Francisco area who receives meals from
Open Hand, a non-profit group that prepares
900 meals per day at the Trinity Episcopal
Church kitchen.
Quayle Interrupted
by ACT-UP Protest
Sen. Dan Quayle (R-Ind.) was interrupted
with chants of "Forty thousand dead of AIDS,
where was Dan?" while speaking at the Statue
of Liberty last month.
Forty-five AIDS activists received an
angry Republican response during the
September 5th protest which was staged by
the New York-based AIDS Coalition to
Unleash Power (ACT-UP) and received an
angry Republican response.
"A couple of our p)eople got their glasses
broken and there were a few punches
thrown," said Bill Bahlman, an ACT-UP
representative.
Quayle was forced to stop speaking while
the protesters changed for one-and-one-half
minutes.
"The whole crowd of about 300 people
was brought out to the island by the
Republicans," said Bahlman. "They were
furnished with signs and flags to wave.
Everything looked really patriotic until our
" AIDSGATE" signs went up about seven feet
from the podium."
As ACT-UP's signs went up, members of
Young Americans for Freedom (YAF), a
right-wing group, attempted to block the
ACT-UP signs with GOP signs. YAFs
attempt was futile since the ACT-UP signs
were bigger.
Quayle continued his speech by
acknowledging that the GOP has a poor
image on civil rights issues, but added that he
plans to improve that image.
After the speech, ACT-UP members were
escorted by Park Service police to a specially
commissioned tour boat
"Members of our group infiltrated their
group and word came back that members of
the Young Americans For Freedom were
planning to beat the shit out of us on the ferry
during the trip back," Bahlman said. "The
Parks people decided to avoid a confrontation
and provided us with alternative
transportation. *
PWAs Score Victory
in Health Care
New Fort-People with AIDS (PWAs) have
won an important victory for their rights.
New York City's Human Rights Commission
ordered a dental clinic to pay $47,000 to two
men it refused to serve. One of the men has
AIDS, the other has tested positive for the
HIV antibody.
The clinic was also ordered to p»st a sign
saying it does not discriminate against
disabled people, including PWAs or those
who test HIV positive.
During testimony heard by the
Commission, it became clear that the clinic
had the capability of treating the two longtime
clients by using infection control techniques
already in place, and that refusal to do so
represented little more than prejudice based
on irrational fear.
The clinic, Northern Dispensary of
Manhattan, will now have to pay George
Whitmore and David Whittacre $26,647 and
$20,120, respectively.
Commission chairman John E. Brandon
said the ruling is the first of its kind in the
nation, and added, "This case is an important
step forward in preserving the rights and
dignity of all people."
-F.G.