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Living With AIDS:
To Never Be Silent Again
It was in the winter of ’82 or '83 that we
took off on a whim for a long weekend in
New York. I usually methodically planned
my trips to New York City, but Farris was
the more adventurous type. We'd only been
dating a short time but from the minute we
met it seemed like we’d known each other
for years. He proposed on the steps of St
Patrick's Cathedral with snow falling around
us and people passing by. It still sounds
comy-but it was all too wonderful coming
from him.
It was good visiting with Bobby again,
also. He was still his impulsive, wild yet
naive self. Bobby and I had first visited
New York City the year before and he
returned to Atlanta, packed his bags and
moved to New York the next week. We all
thought he'd make it about a month but he
thrived on the energy and vitality of New
York. He never seemed to lose his
smalltown charm though.
Bobby’s friend, Carlos, came over that
Saturday night to join us for an evening of
dancing at The Saint The four of us
trekked through the Village on our way to
the subway, excited about the night ahead
and enjoying each other's company. I
vaguely noticed the couple of straight guys
approaching us on the street As they
passed, they shouted the all too familiar
"fucking faggot" comments which we
managed to ignore. It wasn't until one of
them yelled "I hope you all fucking die from
AIDS, you sick faggots" that Carlos stopped
and entered an angry exchange with them.
I think it was one of the first times I’d
heard somebody say the word AIDS and I
was surprised that these straights even knew
about it AIDS was still something very
distant that I had only read about It was
something that was affecting a few
"promiscuous" gay men in New York City
and San Francisco. It wasn't something that
would ever affect my life. I didn’t
understand why their comment had elicited
such an angry response from Carlos when
all their other comments had seemed to
bounce off him. I remember telling him to
shut up, to not argue with them. I was angry
that he'd risk a physical or heightened verbal
confrontation with these people. We were
out to have a good time and enjoy ourselves.
It would be two years later, sitting in my
doctor's office, having just learned that I
have ARC that I would remember that
evening. I would now understand the anger
of Carlos' response and I would question my
own silence that night I would become
more active and vow to never be silent
again. When I heard of Carlos' diagnosis
with AIDS, 1 would again remember that
night And on a muggy Saturday two
summers ago when Farris succumbed to
Pneumocystis, I remembered our trek to the
subway.
Bobby came home to Atlanta a couple of
months ago. He said he cried as the plane
was flying away from New York City.
When I met him at the airport the vitality
and naivete absent and his frail body and
face covered with KS lesions, my first
thought was of that night And I hoped that
none of them remembered that night
SI1EKCE=DEATH
Recently, watching the scene in Torch
Song Trilogy where a young gay man is
brutally murdered, I again remembered.
AIDS is also anti-gay violence but in a more
subtle form. And the causes of anti-gay
violence - ignorance, hatred and silence - are
also to some extent the cause of AIDS or at
least contribute to the proliferation of AIDS.
It is only through action that we can stop
anti-gay and lesbian violence whether it
takes the form of bashings, AIDS, the loss
of our children or anti-gay remarks.
Silence does equal death for our
community and action equals life. Each of
us as we experience the impact of AIDS or
other forms of violence in our lives, must
attempt to utilize the resulting grief and
anger to take action and overcome silence.
We each must decide for ourselves what
form that action will take. It may involve
delivering a meal to a PWA through Project
Open Hand, objecting to anti-gay remarks in
the workplace, coming out, writing letters or
countless other methods of involvement
Our community becomes stronger and less
silent with each passing year. Each of us
must strive to do what we are able to
enhance that progress in the new year. And
individually and collectively we must
attempt to channel the grief and anger we
experience from the devastation of this
epidemic to create an even stronger gay and
lesbian community.
- John Kappers
John Kappers is President of the board of
directors of the Atlanta Chapter of the
National Association of People with AIDS
(NAPWA).
"Living With AIDS" is written by those
personally effected by the AIDS crisis.
PWAs, PWARCs, HIV-positive persons,
their family and loved ones, health care
professionals, teachers, attorneys, and
anyone in the community who has been
touched by this epidemic are urged to
submit to "Living With AIDS" by writing
Southern Voice, P.O. Box 54719, Atlanta,
GA 30308. The HIV status of any author of
this column, unless specifically stated by
the author, should not be assumed.
S.C. AIDS Drug
Company Offers
Home Delivery
Charleston, SC-The pharmaceutical
company that pioneered the home delivery
of Retrovir has launched a new program for
PWAs and PWARCs who must use
pentamidine. The aerosolized pentamidine
component of the Catastrophic Medication
Program was developed in response to
requests made by people already enrolled in
Family Pharmaceuticals' CMP.
In 1988, Family Pharmaceuticals shipped
nearly 300,000 units of Retrovir to
individuals all over the United States.
Their price of $163.95 per 100, which
includes shipping, handling, and charge card
fees, is among the lowest in the nation.
Their price for pentamidine is equally low:
$116.95 for a 300mg vial. (Average
wholesale price is $124.31.)
When asked about the program Kim
Richardson, RPh, Vice President of Family,
said "It seemed that many of our friends
were asking for us to do something to help
them with the cost and availability of
pentamadine. Since we earlier expanded the
CMP to include the 24 most commonly used
AIDS-related medications, it seemed the
natural thing to add next. We have lined up
sources for all the necessary equipment:
compressor, nebulizer, medication, etc."
In a feature article on Family
Pharmaceuticals in its December, 1988
edition, AIDS Patient Care magazine stated
"...care and cost are the two bywords behind
the Catastrophic Medication Program and
all the programs they oversee.” The article
concluded, "The success of the Catastrophic
Medication Program is an example of vision
coupled with some good, old-fashioned
Southern hospitality. It is a company that
calls South Carolina its home and where
every patient is part of the 'family'."
The program is now available to anyone
with a valid physician's prescription. For
more information contact Kim Richardson,
RPh, at 1-800-922-3444.
NAMES Project
Needs Volunteers
For 1989 Tour
San Francisco-The NAMES Project
Foundation is now planning a tour of the
AIDS Memorial Quilt across the U.S. and
Canada beginning this spring, and would
like to give volunteers the chance to be part
of the rotating 4-person team bringing the
Quilt to each North American city. There
will be as many as eight positions available
and applicants must have previous volunteer
experience with The NAMES Project
Volunteers will be selected for six to
twelve week assignments during the period
between mid-February and mid-August of
this year. Each will be paid a per diem and
room and transportation expenses will be
covered.
Those seriously interested should send a
resume and cover letter to:
Scott Lago, Tour Coordinator
The NAMES Project Foundation
2362 Market Street
San Francisco, CA 94114
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