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Personally ■
Spring Fever(ish)
In search of equality on the Equinox
by Gracie MacGregor
While many of us spring chickens contemplate teleport
ing to Arizona due to pollen attacks which leave us miser
able, there are ways around total panic and disease during
hay fever season.
My spirit guide tells me about a fun game called "IF
ONLY". They play it all the time on the other side—only
they call it "PEARLY GATES". It's due. They sit around on
their angelic asses and wish certain mortal hunks were part
of their Heavenly smorgasbord.
Saint Peter, as he is known to earthlings, wholeheartedly
agrees with Mel Gibson's having been touted as the Sexiest
Man Alive. Saint Sebastian prefers Sean Connery. While
Teresa the Little Flower of Jesus says the Sexiest Man Alive
is none other than Sandra Bernhardt.
Go figure.
"If only I were taller, better looking, made more money,
owned my own home, owned my own business" is a self-
defeating game. If you want to be absurd, go ahead; but
have some fun with it. For example: If only the President
were gay. Why, god a'mighty, what a concept! He’d help
us. He'd help everybody. He'd bring those boys home.
He'd meet them on the tarmac wearing English Leather or
he'd be wearing nothing at all.
If only heterosexuality were illegal for one year. Can
you imagine Madison Avenue? Bubba (and Lewis Grizzard)
would be shit out of luck...for a year, anyway. Talk about
overcrowding the jails...the entire world penal system
would be packed and I ain't talkin' fudge, Honey! And the 10
percent of the population that controls 90 percent of the
wealth would be our 10 percent.
If only we could rest assured that folks like Andy
Rooney would get squeezed for his homophobic remarks (of
the last few years) and not have to wait to be accused of
racism, too, before said squeeze took place. Bigotry knows
no bounds, right Andy?
If only true depictions of true gays/lesbians were in
the can in Tinseltown. If I see one more fat murderous psy
chotic bulldyke in a grade-B prison movie, 1 will just have
to grab a camera and go to work!
If only mincing queens in the movies met their
(dress)makers by means other than: a. gaybashers—includ
ing some gays who bash gays; b. suicide—due to self-dis
gust and shame over being homosexual; c. AIDS—the new
answer to that old question: "won't playing a faggot hurt my
career?".
If only there were no gay-bashing (Listen up, Martin
ID, you actually promoted intolerance of a minority!).
Seriously folks, speaking of the arts, what would it be
like to have all gays withdraw from the scene for a year?
"Attention, K Mart shoppers! Check out our new Spring
Fashions; everything's basic blue." And how many times
could you sit through a Neil Simon anything?
Not that heterosexuals are not creative, too. It's just
—well, there are ways of being creative other than wearing
the skins of dead animals. As for styrofoam. Honey, no fag
thought that one up.
Spring Fever? I digress, I admit it. But after all, I am in
the throes of an allergic reaction to not only condoned but
cultivated hate and violence.
Unfortunately, there is no Arizona to move to for that
condition. If only...
Can you afford the house
of your dreams?
Find Out!
Call Brenda Greene,
Loan Officer
for free consultation
371-8384
Professional Directory
* *
Look, First. To These Professionals For Your Special Needs
Psychotherapy
Individual Couple
Rev. R. Lanier Clance i
427 Moreland in L5P 373-3679
Samuel H. Coppock
• Income Taxes 1801 Piedmont Ave. NE
• Small Business Accounting
Suite 205
• Computer Consulting
873-2445
Have a Tupperware Party and be Queen for a Day!
Let Carol customize your
Tupperware Gay-la event
with her campy creativity.
Carol Seeger
622-7562
Individual And
Relationship Counseling
Groups And Mediations
Established 1974
K>A«R*U*N«A
COUNSELING
1549 Clairmont Rd., Suite 108
Decatur, GA 30033
(404) 321-4307
Get into the fun of a
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•Insurance
►Financial Planning
•Estate Planning
•Investments
•IRA’s
DAN R. EASTON
Financial Service Specialist •
2920 Brandywine Rd., Suite 250
Atlanta, Georgia 30341
Phone: (404) 457-0087
Jesse R. Peel, M.D.
GENERAL PSYCHIATRY • PSYCHOTHERAPY
1938 Peachtree Road, N.W. • Suite 612 • Adanta, GA 30309 • (404) 352^522
Marsharee Chastain, MA, LCSW
Psychotherapist
• Individuals • Couples
• Groups
42 Lenox Pointe 233-7439
BARBARA L. BURNS, M. Ed.
Individual and Relationship Counseling
Over 15 years of experience counseling Lesbians and Gay men.
ll-B Lenox Pointe, N.E. Atlanta, GA 30324
404/261-5761
OUR FAMILY PLAN
When you receive treatment with Dr. Broe, your lover
or children will receive treatment at no additional cost.
Keeping Good Health In The Family!
DR. MARK S. BROE, CHIROPRACTOR
857 Collier Rd. » Just off Howell Mill at 1-75 » 355-6018
Community Psychiatric
& Addiction Services
Mental Health: A Critical Part of our Physical Health
Paul M. Kimmel, M.D. Phone:
David J. MacDonald, M.S.W., C.A.C. 633-5935
RUSSELL G. BURNETT
Attorney At Law
General practice with emphasis on employment discrimination,
damages in connection with hate crimes,
defense of victimless crimes, wills and probate.
— 671-1424
We would love to clean your
home or business!
'Stye ©leaning Jfflomen
Call 524-4002 for rates.
Psychotherapy
Addiction • Co-dependency • ACOA
Individuals • Couples • Group
R. Thomas Harry, MD Charles R. Dickey, L.C.S.W., CA.C.
741 PiednTgnLAve., Suite 400, Atlanta, GA 30308 (404) 872-7547
16/Southern Voice • March 15,1990