Newspaper Page Text
FEATURE
Same-Sex Marriages
Still no legal status, but ceremonies of public affirmation are an attractive option for some
by Andrea K. Brown
The Quakers recently joined the small but growing list
of churches in the Atlanta area that will join same-sex cou
ples in "celebrations of loving commitment."
Both the Unitarian Universalists and the Metropolitan
Community Church (MCC)—a congregation that is pri
marily gay and lesbian—have national policies that sanc
tion holy unions for same sex couples. The MCC has
included same-sex unions as a rite since its founding in
1968.
Individual clergypersons ordained in a variety of
faiths—Episcopal, Presbyterian, Reconstructionist Jewish,
Lutheran, and the United Church of Christ, among oth
ers—also conduct these ceremonies. Some churches offer
the ceremony only to members of the congregation, while
others open their services to all.
In the words of Christina Pope, an Episcopal minister,
the ceremony offers "public affirmation and community
support" of a couple's private commitment.
But, unlike marriage, these ceremonies do not offer a
legal bond. In fact, Denmark appears to be the only place
in the world where same-sex couples can become partners
under the law—and even there, these couples are not grant
ed the same rights as heterosexual partners.
In late June, the Atlanta Friends Meeting (or Quakers)
approved by consensus a suggestion made by one of its
study groups: to allow same-sex couples to be joined by the
same process as followed for heterosexuals. In concurrence
with the Quaker philosophy—which stresses that everyone
carries a part of God within them—this new policy trans
lates to explicit bestowal of the full rights and privileges of
membership on gay and lesbian Friends.
■ S ■
Evidence recently unearthed by Dr. John Boswell, a
respected theological scholar and Yale professor, indicates
that official church blessing of homosexual relationships is,
in fact, part of mainstream Christian tradition as well.
According to centuries-old Greek liturgical manuals,
gay marriages were sacramental—and performed inside the
Church—for at least seven hundred years before heterosex
ual marriages received the same treatment. The pre-
medieval Church not only accepted, but wholeheartedly
approved of, a whole spectrum of family relationships.
And despite the severe social intolerance of such relation
ships that followed that era, same-sex marriage was never
removed from the Vatican's volumes of officially sanc
tioned rituals.
But civil marriage is an altogether different basket of
fruit. It carries certain privileges—and responsibilities—
under the law, providing substantial economic and practical
advantages. Thus it's not surprising that 83 percent of
respondents to a recent subscriber survey by the (gay and
lesbian)Partners newsletter said they would legally marry
their partner if the option were available.
Well known gay legal activist Thomas Stoddard offered
strong support for that point of view in the fall 1989 issue
of OUTILOOK magazine.
Stoddard feels that gay couples being denied the right to
marry carries with it the message that "two men or two
women are incapable of achieving such an exalted domes
tic state." He goes on to advocate that opening marriage to
same-sex couples "can be one of the means...through
which the institution divests itself of the sexist trappings of
the past."
Partner's readers and Stoddard may represent a
majority outlook in the gay and lesbian community, but
there is definitely another side to this coin and its adher
ents' voices are strong.
Shiela Broughton
Rhonda Britt was joined with her partner of
about a year, Christine Prince, in an MCC
ceremony last weekend.
Paula L. Ettelbrick—who wrote an article opposing gay
marriage in the same issue of OUTILOOK—argues that
"gaining rights for a few...would do nothing to correct the
power imbalances between those who are married (whether
gay or straight) and those who are not." Getting permission
to marry would not automatically mean acceptance of gay
relationships, she maintains, and furthermore, those who
choose "not to marry will continue to lack legal protection
and societal respect."
"Marriage is not an institution we particularly care to
copy," says Lutheran layperson John Ballew of his partner
and himself.
Of course, a union blessed by a church provides no
guarantees, either. But it can provide a kind of clarity that
Ballew describes when he talks about the fact that he and
his partner did make the decision to be joined in 1980 in an
Episcopal Church. "We needed a common understanding
of our commitment—to state things publicly, in front of our
friends. It has helped us get through some rough times."
There is a wide spectrum of ritual available to same-
sex couples —from a house blessing, which is meant to
bring members of a household together spiritually, to
"mutual adoption", to the more traditional union
service—according to Atlanta Unitarian Minister Joe
Chancey.
There are options outside the church as well, such as
registering one's family with the Human Rights Campaign
Fund—an action which adds political affirmation to a nor
mally personal decision.
Christine Prince, recently joined with her partner of
about a year, Rhonda Britt, says the counseling they
received from First MCC's Reid Christensen in preparation
for the ceremony "put our relationship on a whole different
level."
Rev. Christensen, who performs two or three same-sex
unions a month, has never gone through a ceremony with
his longtime partner. "Everyone knows about our relation
ship," says Christensen. "God is already the center of our
lives. Neither of us are into having the theatrics." Still, to
him the ritual is a sacred one, and he recognizes its value
for other gay couples in helping them come to grips with
their sexuality in the context of their faith.
"Marriage, in any lifestyle, adds pressure to a relation
ship," says Chris Hollis, who had a holy union ceremony
with his partner, Chris Warren, in June. "But it has made us
grow more responsible, more together, more open to the
world as a whole."
"The gay community needs to pull together as a family.
We all need to learn a little more about commitment," con
cludes Hollis.
■ ■ ■
Domestic partnership legislation, another way of rec
ognizing same-sex couplings that we covered at length
two issues ago, will be on the ballot in San Francisco for a
second time this fall.
According to the San Francisco Chronicle, the measure
is a simpler version of a landmark law adopted last year by
the Board of Supervisors, and rejected narrowly by the vot
ers in November. A clause extending health insurance ben
efits to unmarried partners of city employees has been
removed. Supporters of the bill believe the perceived cost
of this benefit—which has been documented as minimal in
other cities—was what caused the bill to fail by a narrow
margin last time around.
The three-page ordinance defines domestic partners as
"two adults who have chosen to share one another's lives in
an intimate and committed relationship of mutual caring,
who live together, and who have agreed to be jointly
responsible for basic living expenses incurred during the
domestic partnership." Either partner may terminate the
agreement.
Advocates of the legislation feel the key to passing the
measure is higher voter turnout There's good news if
they're right: An increased turnout of at least 15 percent
over last year is anticipated because of the hotly contested
races for governor and a local supervisor's seat.
StjE
Magic
Unicorn
Sun 11-3, Mon, Tues, Th 11-11
Fri & Sat 11-Midnite, Closed Wed
1821Piedmont Rd. 875-4395
What are you doing for
Sunday Brunch?
Join us from 11-3 for our
National News Brunch
All the food that's good
to eat with all the news
that's fit to print.
Deli-style sandwiches, salad bar, & desserts
• Free delivery ($7.00 minimum)
• Business & personal catering available
• Daily lunch specials
1874 Piedmont Rd
#250-B
875-5150
Near the intersection of Piedmont & Cheshire Br.
in Phoenix Office Park., next to First Federal.
WMMIMM
Cafi
PROVINCIAL
5m. T*
L
Midtown Promenade
Lower Level
931 Monroe Dr. at 8th I
Closed Tuesdays
Great Food
Great Music
Southernaire
Restaurant
410 B CHURCH ST. DECATUR
Entertainment 6:30-8:30
Tues/Weds — Special Guests
Thurs & Fri. - Natalie Farr
Lunch 11:30-2:30 M-F
Dinner 5:30-8:30 T-F
373-1070
Southern Voice/August 16,1990
19