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SOUTHERN VOICE
OCTOBER 7/1993
ign of the Week (and the Times): Seen on Briarcliff
Road: “Stop Here Queen, Yard Sale Today.”
Erotiphobia on Parade: A New Jersey man named
Daniel Swisher (we don’t know if he is related to the Swisher
folks who make cleanliness equipment for public restrooms) is
looking for financial backing for a condom applicator. The de
vice opens the condom package and allows you to apply it to the
penis in question without having to touch either condom or
penis. It’s designed for folks who object to the “messy” nature of
lubricated latex. Now this brings up some pretty serious ques
tions for Dish. Like why would a man in the heat of passion (or
his partner) not want to touch his penis? And how can you have
sex and not get messy—isn’t that part of the fun? Most impor
tantly, there’s no mention about this device offering any assis
tance in removing the condom. Maybe Swisher wants to sell you
latex gloves for that.
Wet Lips: Speaking of anti-erotic, police (nine of them to be
exact) raided an adult novelty store in Austin, Texas and confis
cated four plastic sheep with “rear entry holes.” Remarked the
store’s clerk, “We sold them as gag gifts for bachelor parties. I
don’t remember anyone buying one who had wet lips and looked
like he couldn’t wait to get the package open.”
Worth a Thousand Words: Comic extraordinaire Robin
Williams and his wife Marsha are producing a comedy in which
Mr. Williams stars as Mrs. Doubtfire, also the name of the flick.
The plot goes like this: When a couple gets divorced, she gets the
kids and he gets grumpy because he doesn’t get to spend enough
time with the cherubs. So when wifey advertises for a house
keeper, (ex)hubby gets himself up as an elderly British
woman...and gets the job. We could tell you more (like the fact
that Harvey Fierstein also has a part), but we think that the
accompanying image of Williams tells more than we could ever
convey about why you should go see this film.
THERE'S A fINE LINE BETWEEN TELLING IHE TRUTH AND MING TRASH
Dish thinks Robin Williams, exploring his femme side,
is a must see.
Worth a Thousand Words II: One of the most arresting
images that we’ve seen in a long time is the United Colors of
Benetton ad that features the smooth chest (in fuzzy focus) of a
man whose arm has been tattooed with the words “H.I.V. POSI
TIVE.” Like many Benetton ads, this one makes you stop, think
and question reality in a way that Dish thinks deserves beaucoup
praise. Seems that some AIDS activists in France disagree. They
are suing Benetton, claiming that the image is too reminiscent of
how the Nazi’s branded folks. Which is exactly why we like it.
Big Bucks: Ever wonder who the wealthiest homo in the world
is? Well we have, and were therefore instantly attracted to Forbes
magazine’s list of the 40 most highly paid entertainers. (Given
the late Malcolm Sr.’s closet proclivities, we think that the mag
should do a list of the 25 richest fags and dykes.) We spotted
only one name of an out-and-out queer on the list—Brit producer
Cameron Mackintosh was No. 38 with an income of $22 million
in the last two years. Siegfried & Roy (who Dish thinks might
must actually be Liberace and his evil twin in disguise) were No.
18 with $32 million. Prince came in fifth on the list with a cool
$49 million, exactly half of No. 1 Oprah’s $98 million haul. Poor
Elton didn’t even make the cut.
Bell Bottoms, Too?: From Boy George in “The Advocate:”
“If clogs can make a comeback, why can’t I?”
Disco Bigot: Seems that disco diva Gloria Gaynor isn’t too
happy about a large part of her listening audience—queers.
Quoted in the British tabloid, The Sun, Gaynor said, “I feel the
same way as the Bible. It says that homosexuality is an abomina
tion. God loves homosexuals, but he doesn’t love what they do.”
Like what, Gloria? Dance their collective asses off to your
music? Not any more, sweet lips. And if you feel that way, why
the hell did you give “I Am What I Am” such a stirring rendi
tion?”
And Still More Bigots: Word is that Bad Billy McKinney
decided not to run for mayor because his wife told him he would
have to move out of their house if he did. McKinney said he liked
his house, so he wouldn’t run. Not “I love my wife and want to
respect our relationship,” but “I like my house and don’t want to
find new digs.” How touching.
OCTOBER 7 - OCTOBER 13, 1803 IHW MW MM MMI and the emergence of a new and positive self-awareness. SAGIT-
As we approach the new moon (on Oct. 15), we can make use of <35* ' *4^5 TARIUS, are you feeling the need to be more involved in commu-
the last quarter energies by completing unfinished projects, espe- nity activities? If so, that’s great. Just be sure you have all your
daily anything started around the previous new moon in Sep- personal ducks in a nice, tidy row before taking off to pour your
tember. Also make more time for being with people you care I H I U M energy into another project. Hasten slowly,
about. CAPRICORN, you can really move forward in your career right
ARIES, you can make real progress in any form of negotiation now by sharpening your skills in diplomacy and negotiation,
right now, if you are able to listen and really hear what others are how is the general emotional atmosphere at home? Is everything You don’t want to win the battle and lose the war or get too
saying. In partnerships and business relationships, you can build harmonious, or is there an undercurrent of turmoil and potential focused on a minor point. Practice changing your perspective,
strong bonds and loyalty by shifting your perspective. TAURUS, disruption that you have been ignoring? This is the time to pay AQUARIUS, there is no time like the present for letting go of old
the atmosphere in your close relationships could be a little explo- attention and acknowledge the obvious. It will workout. VIRGO, habits and patterns that are not healthy or productive, Your
sive for the next week or so as Mercury and Mars join Pluto in well, this is definitely your time of year, so you need to be out in capacity for personal growth is astonishing if you are willing to
your seventh house of partnerships and intimate relationships. the wonderful world of nature, absorbing all of the fantastic release yourself from the past and trust in your own good karma.
Are you still carefully guarding your heart? GEMINI, how do you beauty and nourishing energy of fall. This will restore your PISCES, your eighth house of sexuality and transformational
explain all the “good luck” that just happens in your life? Is it energy and your overall sense of well being. experiences is super active right now, so fasten your seat belt and
only random occurrence, or could it be your natural affinity/ Happy Birthday, LIBRA. Are you having a wonderful time, or are take a deep breath. You need to pay close attention to your gut
ability to tune into the universal streams of goodness and intelli- you expending some energy worrying about people or things you instincts, and your excellent intuition, and avoid alcohol,
gence? Have a little more faith in yourself. can’t do anything about anyway? Seek out places or peace and
CANCER, the sun and Jupiter are illuminating and expanding beauty to quiet your mind and nourish your spirit. Be happy. Mary Bailey Rule is a professional astrologer who specializes
your fourth house of home, personal/private life and family ties. SCORPIO, lots of activity for you in the dream world, as well as in personal and relationship chart interpretation as well as
Don’t be too surprised if something private becomes more public changes in the way you perceive life. What may feel like turmoil crisis management. She can be reached in Santa Fe at (505)
than you would like. Be optimistic and positive, regardless. LEO, and upset would actually be some very wonderful personal growth 982-3104 to order charts or arrange a chart interpretation.
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