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SOUTHERN VOICE
OCT O HER 14/1993
MELINDA BYRNE
Age: 39
How long in Atlanta: 19 years
Relationship Status: learning to
love myself
Last Book Read: “Dare to Be
Yourself’ by Alan Cohen
Pet Peeve: when my cat ignores
me
You turn on the news and start fuming in
side over the injustice of the ban on gays in the
military. So you rush over to your computer, fire
off a letter to the editor of your local paper, put it
in an envelope and boom. There it is, a few days
later on the op cd page for all to appreciate. Back
to reality. You sit there fuming and shaking your
head. You change the channels to something
more neutral, like the feeding habits of giraffes
on the Serengctti.
For Melinda Byrne, opting to change the
channel would be a waste of energy. Instead, she
processed her anger about the “Don’t Ask, Don’t
Tell” compromise in the form of a letter to the
editor. Even though The Atlanta Journal-Consti
tution didn’t print it, The New York Times ran
the letter and so did USA Today (and Southern
Voice).
So how does it feel to be heard in the
country’s biggest newspapers about your per
sonal opinions and convictions? “It’s interest
ing,” she says. “Being heard is sometimes about
hearing my own voice. I think that’s why therapy
is so valuable. When I sat down to write the
letter, I was full of anger at people’s prejudice.
Writing the letter was a process for me in going
beneath my anger to a deeper understanding of
myself.
“Being a lesbian is where my heart is. It’s
where I live. Most living things thrive on light,”
she explains. “That’s why I spoke about the
darkness of ‘the closet,’ and needing the light to
see how beautiful we are.”
People have asked her “what’s the big deal
about having to say you’re gay?” She says, “1
knew telling the truth about my sexual orienta
tion was important for me on a deep feeling
level, but up until writing about it, I hadn’t clearly
put it into words, even for myself.”
In her letter, she used the analogy of a Jew
ish person in a room full of Christians where the
Christians thought the person was Christian but
never knew because the Jewish person never
spoke of his or her religion. Instead, the Jewish
person lived the lie of silence neither confirming
(PH
nor denying his or her beliefs.
Interestingly, a Jewish man from Kansas
City sought Melinda out, writing her a letter
saying he read her letter in The New York Times.
Her analogy, he wrote, supported him to come
out about being Jewish. In addition, a straight
man in New York called her to express his ap
preciation for being better able to understand the
issue of coming out. “Although I spoke of com
ing out in the context of being lesbian or gay, the
real message is to honor ourselves by expressing
our truth, no matter what that truth is,” she says.
Melinda works for a large government
agency as an analyst. As an analyst, she says,
she is constantly “in her head.” This past year
she has worked hard at bridging her heart and
head in her personal life.
Asked about her career goals since she has
had success at getting her letters published, she
says she would like to be involved in creating
and supporting workshops that produce harmony
and understanding among a wide diversity of
people. In March of next year she plans to be a
participant in a workshop produced by The Na
tional Coalition Building Institute on “Prejudice
Reduction.”
She would also like to write more. “I’m
interested in writing material and articles that
promote a better understanding of ourselves col
lectively and individually.” Recently she was
asked by the staff at the Counseling Center at
Georgia State University to work on a brochure
about homophobia for their upcoming lunch and
lecture series.
“At the March on Washington, my favorite
T-shirt was one that said, ‘Learn to Understand.’
I’m discovering that to truly understand a prin
ciple or a person, you have to have intent to
learn. If we do not feel our understanding will
serve us well, our motivation for understanding
eludes me. Hopefully, we will till one day under
stand that there is no greater way to serve our
selves than by learning to accept, honor and
include all people.”
CONNIE MAYBERRY
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First MCC presents
HOMOSEXUALITY
& THE BIBLE
Monday, October 18, 1993, 7:00 pm
led by
Student Clergyperson Chip Carson
Room 1-A (at rear of building)
Metropolitan Community Church
^ 1 379 Tullie Rd. (N. Druid Hills at I-85) « 325-4143 j
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