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SOUTHERN VOICE • DECEMBER 29/1994
43
DIM
THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN TELLING THE TRUTH ANDTALKING TRASH
What’s this Nunnsense?
Georgia Sen. Sam Nunn seems to be broadening his horizons a bit—or
at least trying to do so. The man who made enemies with the gay com
munity during the military-ban debate was recently spotted at a screen
ing of "Heavenly Creatures," the New Zealand film about two matri-
cidal Kiwi lesbians (and don't ask us to explain that for you). Dish would
especially like to have seen the look on Nunn's face during the film's
brief-but-graphic Claymation orgy scene.
STILL STRAIGHT, BUT NOT FOR EACH OTHER:
Admitted heterosexuals Richard Gere and
Cindy Crawford have publicly announced their
separation, though the two say they actually
made the decision to split last July, which is
about the time that Dish noticed Crawford drop
ping hints about it on MTV. We wonder if the
two will reprise their now infamous "We're
Straight, We Really, Really Are!" ad. We think
the new copy should read, "We're Still Straight,
and We're Looking for Dates—But Only of the
Opposite Sex!" Meanwhile, Dish is still trying
to figure out how Crawford-Gere pals k.d. lang
and Herb Ritts fit into this peculiar quadrangle.
ALL RIGHT, GIRLS, LIFT THOSE LEGS: Dish heard
reports that Arnold Schwarzenegger crossed
party lines to campaign for uncle-in-law Ted
Kennedy last month, but Der Ahnuld says it
never happened. Schwarzenegger said anybody
who believes that he would campaign for a
Democrat would also "believe that there are little Richard Simmons Jrs.
running around." Though Dish doesn't especially relish the idea of little
Richard Simmonses, we think the star of "Junior" should know that in
today's reproductive world anything is possible—even if it takes a tur
key baster to do it.
SHOW ME, DON’T DO ME: In a move that illustrates beyond a shadow
of a doubt that politicians are not qualified to enact laws, the Missouri
General Assembly has recently adopted legislation that bans not only
queer sex but hetero sex as well. The convoluted resolution was origi
nally meant to legalize sex between consenting teenagers of opposite
sex and consenting homosexuals, but the law as it is written now states
that a person commits the crime of sexual misconduct if "he has deviate
sexual intercourse with a person of the same sex or he purposely sub
jects another person to sexual conduct." Looks like Missourians will
have to start taking the "show me" thing much more seriously from
now on—looking is the only thing left that's legal in the state.
PHYSICIAN, HEAL THYSELF: A doctor in Cleveland, who says that HIV
does not cause AIDS and that the disease is not contagious, was or
dered by a judge to halt his plan to inject himself with HIV-tainted blood
on World AIDS Day. Dr. Robert Willner, who says "AIDS is absolutely
curable," told a gathering sponsored by ACT UP that the disease is
caused by poor nutrition and drug use. Though Willner was not allowed
to carry out his macabre demonstration, he has several times before in
jected himself with HIV-carrying needles to "prove" that the virus is
not transmitted through blood exchange. No word yet on the good
doctor's health—his physical health, that is.
JOYCELYN ELDERS WOULD APPROVE: Dish just received a newsletter
entitled "Celebrate the Self," which is all about the joys of solo sex for
men. The publication covers the gamut of masturbatory techniques, from
the most basic moves to some really complicated methods involving
leather straps, feather dusters and even penile injections of prostaglan
din (for men with erection problems), with how-to illustrations (yikes!).
The newsletter, besides offering some "personal experience" stories, also
has merchandise to sell, including videos, books and toys. Interested?
Write P.O. Box 8888, Mobile, AL 36689—and, by the way, the editors
request that you be naked while writing to them. Don't ask.
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