Newspaper Page Text
Traveling ★★★
with the Stars
by Tim Boxer
KIAMESHA LAKE, N.Y.— Herschel Bernardi. sporting a beard for
his tour in "Fiddler on the Roof,” reminded some 3,000adoring Passover
guests at the Concord Hotel what Harry Golden once said: When the
Anglo-Saxons were in caves eating berries,
we Jews already had diabetes.
He told about the boy who went to
Hollywood, became a smash success, and
gratefully sent his old mother in Brooklyn
two presents for her birthday, a Jaguar and a
Picasso.
He called his mother: “Mom, did you get
the presents?”
"Yes.”
"I sent two. Did you get them?”
“I got one.”
"Which one?”
"I don't know.”
* * *
THE WIT PARADE: Herschel took a
swipe at those Jews who remain silent when
their brethren are in trouble anywhere in the
world In their rush to assimilate, they’re afraid to rock the boat:
I wo Jews are in front of the firing squad. The command is given
“One...two..." Suddenly one of the condemned shouts, “Tong live the
Jews!” Mortified, the other man says, “Shhh. don’t make trouble."
Herschel also offered pantomime: Three men on a park bench. One at
the end is casting an imaginary line and begins to fish. The one at the
other end, also fishing, is actually trying to reel in a catch. A cop comes
over and asks the man in the middle, “Are these two with you? Don’t you
think you should take them home?” I he middle man nods yes and begins
to r(5w. i
* * *
SEYMOUR ROSENTHAL, a foremost artist of Jewish themes, has
given the Concord exclusive rights to sell his original watercolor works.
Everything else he sells at home in Fresh Meadows, Queens, N.Y
"I depict who the Jewish people are,” he said in the coffee shop where
he drew for me his impression of Herschel Bernardi. "1 also show the
persecutions my people have suffered, including the concentration
camps."
His concern with things Jewish began in the fourth grade at Public
School 42 in the Bronx. “I won a spelling contest and got a 1931 Winston
Simplified Dictionary. On page 52 I found the definition of Jew to be ‘to
cheat, to steal, to extort, very good at bargaining and keetting prices
down.’ I’ve been getting back at them ever since with my paintings.”
He presented his painting "Homage to the Six Million” to Gen. Omar
Bradley six years ago when he retired from the board of Bulova Watch
Co
“I was very emotional. I told him it was because he defeated the Nazi
tyrants. Bradley told me. ’Wipe your tears, Seymour. My wife’s Jewish.’
“That black and white lithograph now rests in the Metropolitan
Museum of Art.”
* * *
WORTH MENSHENING: Seymour told the story of a
multibillionaire industrialist, whose parents were burned in the Nazi
ovens, and was a steady customet of his paintings He gave Seymour a
faded photo of his father holding an esrog and had him make an oil
painting of the picture.
Four years ago the man was in tears. He told Seymour he had taken
full advantage of a fantastic opportunity to sell his vast industrial empire
at a terrific profit. As the tears rolled down he revealed that the buyer was
EG. Farben of Germany.
“I found out what it means to be a mensch,” he tearfully confessed. “It
means to resist the temptation of money.”
* * *
SCHNORRER STORY: Jack Berger, owner of Meridian Personnel
of Manhattan, enjoyed my Celebrity Slide Show so much that he
contributed his own story. He told about the time in 1933 when he
worked in a drugstore in Brownsville.
An old Jew with a long beard came in and asked in Yiddish, “Do you
have asthma powder?” Jack said yes. “Is it in a can or white powder?" the
old man inquired. Jack said he had both. “Let me see." the man said. Jack
shows him, the old man takes a sniff, then says, "Nu. shen zeirt grnigfar
htinl." puts down the can and walks out.
Jack stood there perplexed at the loss of a sale, but the boss came over
and explained, “Don’t worry He comes in every Thursday "
* * *
ATLANTA was represented in the Catskills, as were Montreal.
Denver. London. Australia, Israel. Jack and Rose Maziar were there
with their friends, Lou and Annette Mays. Actually. Jack and Annette
arc brother and sister.
Maziar was general manager of Associated Grocers C o-op. and now
operates Holiday Card and Gift Shop in the Healey Bldg. Mays is a
retired accountant.
Tim Boxer
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PAGE 11 THE SOUTHERN ISRAELITE M»y 2, 1980