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SingleScene
The Atlanta Leisure Club invites
11 singles to a talk on the Atlanta
Ministry on International Stu-
ients (AMIS) at 8 p.m. Tuesday,
vlarch 18, at the AJCC/Peach-
ree. Dr. Fahed Abu-Akel, execu
te director of AMIS, will discuss
his organization which matches
nternational college and graduate
itudents with Atlanta residents.
This event is free for members,
SI for non-members. For details,
call Michael, 875-7881.
Make your plans now to attend
the second Jewish Singles Expo
March 28-30 at the Peachtree Plaza
Hotel. Author William Novak will
be the keynote speaker.
Cost is $64 for members of any
Jewish Community Center, $93 for
non-members. Prices do not include
hotel rooms.
For more details, call Patsy,
875-7881.
& & &
The Jewish Singles Alliance
invites all singles to a lecture by Dr.
Sol Gordon, director of the Insti
tute for Family Research and Edu
cation at Syracuse University, at
7:30 p.m. Sunday, March 16, at
Temple Sinai. He will discuss “Sex
and the Jewish Single.”
Cost is $5 at the door. For more
information, call 252-8909.
& & &
Jewish singles can lasso hearts
by using brains, says therapist
by Julianne Bernstein
Aaron and Paula (not their real
names) met at a Jewish Singles’
event six months ago, and have
been dating ever since. Lately,
Paula shows her affection for
Aaron more than he does. Is she
pushing too hard? Is he wanting
out?
Whether or not Aaron and
Paula are meant for each other,
Alan Friedman, clinical hypno
therapist at the Hypnosis Mo
tivation Institute, believes that all
relationships can be worked out as
long as people realize that their
actions stem from being a right-
brain or left-brain individual.
The Right-brain/ Left-brain
(Physical/Emotional) theory de
pends on a person’s suggestibility.
“People who learn on the right side
of the brain are learning directly.
People who learn on the left side
are learning by inference and
misdirection.” When “opposites
attract” the right-brain person who
speaks in inference and misdi
rection communicates easily with
the left-brain who responds
directly. Afterwards, sexuality
starts to influence the dynamics of
the relationship. Sexuality, Friedman
states, is determined by a person’s
priorities in life. If so, how is the
right-brain physical who’s most
concerned with love relationships
going to handle the left-brain
emotional, who’s more concerned
with his work?
Well, as Aaron and Paula enter
the “honeymoon phase” (fall in
love) Aaron wants to spend more
time with Paula, thinks about her
more than his 3 o’clock business
meeting and expresses his feelings
more openly and more often. “It is
natural for a left-brain, when in
love, to behave unnaturally. He is
like a chameleon; he acts more like
a right-brain physical whose
behavior does not change, but
is exaggerated.” Aaron eventually
feels secure in the relationship. He
still loves Paula but devotes extra
hours to a new business account,
and doesn’t say “I love you” or
want to have sex as often any more.
Paula feels rejected; she pushes
Aaron, who hates such pressure as
left-brains usually do, and rejects
her even further.
According to Friedman,
Aaron’s and Paula’s levels of
sexuality are moving up and down
the scale respectively. Right-brain
Paula grows more physical while
left-brain Aaron returns to his
natural emotional behavior.
While people may criticize
Friedman’s statistical and rigid
analysis, he responds with con
cern: “We’ve obviously been doing
something wrong — we’re not
accepting natural behavior, nor
are we working with it. If we
understand our behavior, we can
better understand that of our
mates, the interrelationship be
tween the two, and how to manage
things.” In counseling, Friedman
suggests to women like Paula to
wear a provocative night gown, or
to wait until the fourth ring rather
than immediately picking up the
phone. Friedman instructs men
like Aaron to call her from the
office more often or surprise her
with flowers. Some argue that such
strategies are forms of game
playing and manipulating. “No,”
says Friedman, “it’s merely ac
commodating for the differences in
the needs and insecurities of the
right-brain and left-brain indi
viduals.”
Friedman counsels many Jewish
women. Whether they are looking
for a Jewish mate, or are involved
with one, Friedman explains
things based on the JEM concept
(the Jewish Emotional Male). A
JEM is part of an unusual breed of
left-brains who carry an uncon
scious hatred for women. These
feelings originate with the
domineering mother who insists
they marry “a nice Jewish girl.
JEMs are deceptive; at first they
will put the Jewish female up on a
pedestal but later intimidate and
belittle them.
Even though the JEM is pro
grammed from childhood to marry
a “nice Jewish girl” he will avoid
them, gravitate toward blue-eyed
buxom blonds and ”i! not
counseled can get married four or
five times, end up broke, and be
potentially impotent.” fried man edu
cates the Jewish female on how to
identify JEMs, determine their
scale of stability, and manage
them. He says they are worth the
effort. "They make wonderful
husbands, fathers and providers.
The idea is for the female to
convince the JEM that she is the
best thing for him, which she is.
Hundreds of married and single
women who weren’t aware now un
derstand.”
Friedman is the only Jewish
therapist in Atlanta using the JEM
concept. Because he is one, he
knows it works. “The results have
been excellent.” Friedman will
write his dissertation on the JEM
theory for his Ph.D. in mar
riage/family/child therapy.
He will speak at the Jewish
Single’s EXPO Saturday, March
29, at 10 a.m. Call 875-7881 for
details.
We'll create a memorable affair
for your wedding or other social
event. Stop in and visit with
Mary Helen Smith who will
offer professional assistance
after discussing your wishes.
Complimentary honeymoon
package with reception
or rehearsal dinner.
HOLIDAY INN’
POWERS
FERRY
Rita invites all singles over 22 to
a party at 8 p.m. Sunday, March
16, at Smuggler’s Cove, located on
the lower level of Perimeter Mall at
the front entrance.
There will be food, cash bars,
music for dancing, and a $5 cover.
For more information or to put
your name on the mailing list, call
Rita, 458-4584.
& & &
Atlanta Jewish Parents Without
Partners will sponsor a “Picnic and
Kite Flying” for all singles at 11:30
a.m. Sunday, March 16, at the
Piedmont Park golf course, 10th
Street side.
There is no cost, but bring your
picnic, kites and kids.
For details, call Patsy, 875-7881.
ATLANTA’S'
FINEST
FRENCH
RESTAURANT
Only a 10 minute cab ride
from Downtown
a 1
• if I H
i m 5 i- ■
• HI if!
Unibed Way
The Patio Restaurant
3349 Piedmont Rd.
Phone: 237-5878
BLUE RIDGE
CAMP and RESORT
For Boys & Girls 6-16
r OUR MOUNTAIN OF FUN Where Spring
Comes & Spends the Summer
MOUNTAIN CITY, GEORGIA
• All Water Sports in Our Own Twin Spring Fed
Lakes • White Water Rafting • Water skiing
• Rappelling • Aerobics • Tennis • Arts & Crafts
• Sailing • Gymnastics and Dance • Go Carts
• Rollerskating « Computers • Rock Climbing
• Basketball • Soccer • Softball • Hockey
• Zoological & Science Program • All Dietary Laws
Observed • Shabbat Services
Medical Staff Available at All Times
Member American Camping Association
Under the Operation ot
COACH J. I. MONTGOMERY. C.C.D.
MORRIS & SHEILA WALDMAN
G.
Miami Beach Phone 305-538-3434 or Write
PO Box 2888, Miami Beach, Fla. 33140
STAFF INQUIRIES NOW
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955-1700
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SEX AND THE JEWISH SINGLE
with DR. SOL GORDON
If you like Dr. Ruth . . . you will love Dr.
Sol . . .
Dr. Gordon, recently seen on the Today
Show and Phil Donahue, will discuss among
other topics:
How do Jewish Singles handle their sexual
needs?
Is sex a roadblock to the development of a
relationship?
The special problems of the Jewish single
parent . . .
Date: Sunday, March 16
Place: Temple Sinai, 5645 Dupree Dr., NW
Time: 7:30 program—dessert reception
to follow
Admission: $5.00, payable at door
Sponsored by: The Jewish Singles Alliance,
An affiliate of the Atlanta Reform Synagogue
Council.
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PAGE 21 THE SOUTHERN ISRAELITE March 14„ 1986